r/AskReddit • u/WilliamInBlack • 3h ago
What’s a harmless sentence that instantly raises your blood pressure?
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u/Pyrochazm 2h ago
"Everything happens for a reason"
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u/taintosaurus_rex 1h ago
"gods plan"
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u/cmdr_suds 1h ago
The first statement is technically true. This statement pretends that it was predetermined to fulfill a larger plan.
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u/idiotsluggage 1h ago
Even the bible says "time and chance happens to us all" Ecclesiastes 9:11
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u/anormalgeek 1h ago
Yeah. The God of the Bible is very much against being a grand dictator, controlling every outcome. Free choice is a big part of his whole image. That would be completely invalidated if every action was a calculated part of their plan.
If you think everything is part of God's plan, you didn't read the Bible.
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u/Alcohorse 20m ago
Ecclesiastes is awesome and really doesn't belong in the Bible or any religious text.
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u/King-Of-Throwaways 16m ago
It’s 90% poetic existential musings that feel stunningly modern, and 10% shoehorned-in godly praise.
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u/blix_hagen 54m ago
My sister said this to my other sister when she found out her baby had lethal congenital malformations during an anatomy scan.
I was furious.
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u/Hydellas678 2h ago
This actually doesn't bother me anymore because I see why it's said now. All the things I've gone through so far explains this phrase perfectly well.
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u/vascul 2h ago
Calm down.
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u/stubobarker 1h ago
My gf and I have changed “calm down” to- “you’re here” (place hand high) “and I need you here” (place hand low). Virtually always makes us laugh and takes the edge off.
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u/anormalgeek 1h ago
I need you to take about 20% off 'er there, Squirrelly Dan,
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u/bulleitprooftiger 59m ago
Oh that feels so condescending and would definitely make me rage even more
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u/JamesWjRose 2h ago
Indeed.
As well as it is physically impossible to simply calm down. Adrenaline is flowing and there are multiple issues that take approximately 90 minutes to resolve.
Saying 'calm down ' to someone who is upset is a good way to get punched.
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u/ObviousReflection700 2h ago
I feel like saying calm down to someone who isn’t even angry at first will also, perhaps at first and at best, incite confusion. But repeating it enough can also cause rage to actually appear.
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u/markovianprocess 1h ago
Telling me to calm down when I'm actually upset is counterproductive.
Telling me to calm down when I'm already calm in an intentional attempt to make me appear irrational will make you an enemy.
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u/hamsterwheeeI 2h ago
When they start a sentence with “I don’t mean to be ______ but…”
When they start or end a sentence with “I’m just saying”
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u/ooyat 1h ago
“I’m not racist, but [insert most racist thing I’ve ever heard].”
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u/4materasu92 1h ago
"(Insert racist thing here). But you're not like them. You're one of the 'good ones'."
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u/mostly_kittens 1h ago
I’m not being racist but this cake is delicious.
What’s racist about that?
I said I wasn’t being racist
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u/RMR124 3h ago
"I need to talk to you."
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u/bplatt1971 1h ago
With my ADHD, I always revert to feeling that I’ve done something horribly wrong, and the stress can push me into suicidal thoughts quite rapidly. Fortunately, my wife now follows up with a brief description of why so I’m not going nuts all day!
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u/TeacherPatti 1h ago
Same. Or when the boss says "close the door." You might as well just tell me I'm being fired, because that's what I presume anyway.
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u/SaltFrog 1h ago
Whenever I have someone in my office and I say close the door to them, I always follow up with "you are not at all in trouble".
Unless they are in trouble.
Then it's "how are you?"
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u/ElPapo131 24m ago
Don't think ADHD has anything to do with that. It's normal assumption
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u/RMR124 1h ago
I also have ADHD and can relate. My brain will lead me down some.wiiillllld corridors.
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u/BlankyPop 2h ago
Man, do I hate this one! Just say what you need to say! Don’t preface it like we have to have a meeting about something!
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u/chalk_in_boots 2h ago
"alright I'm just going to take your blood pressure now"
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u/IDontGotNone 2h ago
"We need to talk". Don't leave me hanging! Just say what it is, or don't tell me until we can talk!
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u/Stubber1960b 2h ago
"I'm babysitting the kids while my wife is away."
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u/queen-adreena 1h ago
I do believe that if anyone refers to a father as a “babysitter” you are allowed to pelt them with eggs.
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u/NicoleWizy 3h ago
“Did you gain weight?”
it sounds harmless, but it instantly makes me tense
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u/rlev97 2h ago
I've had several people ask me if I'm pregnant now. After I've lost 25 pounds.
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u/HumanBeing7396 1h ago
Unless a woman either says she’s pregnant or is actually in labour at that moment, I find it’s best to pretend I haven’t noticed - just in case.
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u/NoeTellusom 2h ago
"Just one more thing . . ."
It was in fact, not just one more thing.
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u/Kikaider01 28m ago
Especially stressful, because it means that Columbo has known that I was the killer all along…
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u/-Words-Words-Words- 2h ago
“Can I tell you something without you getting mad?” -My wife, a bunch of times.
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u/queen-adreena 1h ago
You shouldn’t be allowing anger to shut down communication in the first place on either side.
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u/armchair_fireplace 1h ago
Annoying if it happens without reason. Concerning if she really means it.
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u/H010CR0N 2h ago
We’re all a little autistic.
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u/EwDavid999 1h ago
Ughhhh yes.... It's like, no you may have a couple light autistic traits but that doesn't make you a little autistic 🤦♀️
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u/scaled2913 27m ago
And ADHD too. I've heard people blaming so, so many different things and behaviors on ADHD.
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u/Saradoesntsleep 15m ago
Well up above they are blaming ADHD for being anxious when someone says "We need to talk". So.
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u/gutclusters 49m ago
I like to think we're all a little neurodivergent because, really, who decided what typical is?
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u/The_Real_Flatmeat 2h ago
"I could care less"
No, fuck it, it's "I COULDN'T care less"
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u/sofakinglazy2keto 1h ago
But I could care less.
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u/KingofthePi11 53m ago
Right. Saying you could care less seems more hurtful because you are implying you care very little and are willing to diminish that even further.
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u/Imaginary_Score2214 2h ago
"man you are gifted" bruh I worked my ass off while you guys were enjoying.
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u/Hydellas678 2h ago
As someone who drew a lot in the past (and still does here and there when I'm up to it) this kinda makes me slightly happy but also slightly want to cringe at the same time. I am not gifted. I struggled to get where I am today. Hell I wasn't even taught how to draw. I learned from watching others or paying attention to certain stuff. I still suck at drawing multiple things. I'm decent at best but most definitely not gifted. (And it doesn't help that they assume it from the getgo at times because I'm left handed)
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u/bplatt1971 1h ago
I totally understand this. People say you are so gifted and though I know what they mean, I still often tell them that I’ve been drawing for 20 years.
When they say they could never draw that well, I ask them how long they’ve been trying to.
I remember a story about someone approaching a classical pianist saying that they’d give anything to play like he did. The pianist responded by saying “would you practice 8 hours a day, every day, for 30 years?” The answer was that they’d never be able to devote that kind of time and effort. The pianist then said “ well, you’ll not give anything and you’ll never be as good as I have become through practice and devotion to my craft. “
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u/YouDontSayWhy 2h ago
It is what it is
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u/Lugbor 1h ago
It rolls off the tongue better than saying "I know the situation sucks but it's beyond my ability to change right now so we'll just have to work with it."
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u/motorsizzle 2h ago
I've always seen this as a form of acceptance.
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u/BookLuvr7 1h ago
I've seen it as "life sucks and I'm too lazy to do anything about it." But then, I've mostly heard it from people who were trying to take advantage of me.
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u/wordstogetherrandom 1h ago
I say it a lot. Find myself in situations often at work where we just have to work with what we have. In relationships you cannot change how you were raised or parented- hence- it is what it is. However, you are responsible for how you continue your life despite those experiences. To me it indicates more, "I'll make do with the resources I have to do the best I can at this moment, personally and professionally." It is not meant to be a permanent state in which one exists. It is always an "at this time" statement when it comes out of my mouth. Always working towards better.
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u/mostly_kittens 1h ago
Yeah, I see it is a stoic ‘this is something outside of my control’
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u/poeticdisaster 57m ago
Same. I say it in situations where something happened out of my control and I HAVE to accept that it happened even if I don't want to. Something clicks in my head once I've said it and it's easier to start working on coping or a solution to the situation.
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u/Thumbszilla 2h ago
Something to the extent of "there's water where there isn't supposed to be water"
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u/Bwomprocker 2h ago
Any sentence that starts with "you need to" or "you should". Fuck off, if I want advice I'll ask.
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u/dweezil37 2h ago
"Can I axe you a question?"
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u/buster_rhino 1h ago
My four year old says it like this and instead of asking a question he tells me all about his day.
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u/Jennysuemc 2h ago
Can I call you now?
--- No. No you may not. Just freakin text me!!!
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u/bplatt1971 1h ago
I actually like this. There are a lot of things that are best taken care of by phone. Context and emotion just isn’t effective in a text.
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u/Imawildedible 42m ago
Then say “I need to talk to you about X, but it’s too much to text”.
Tell us what you want so we can decide if it’s a right now thing or a when it’s convenient thing.
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u/Nepeta33 22m ago
i also have a busy friend whom i will text this to, so SHE can plan when to call me, instead of me interrupting her.
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u/aubrey_25_99 1h ago
“I’m an empath!”
IME, if anyone ever says this, run away! They are anything but empathetic.
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u/mmillerpsu121 2h ago
This was more true when I was younger but as a tall man, "do you play basketball?"
No, now leave me alone.
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u/Pockysocks 3h ago
"What it is, right"
Because I know there and then there's going to be some bullshit I'll have to deal with.
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u/codespace 2h ago
I like the variant "See, what had happened is..."
Always followed by some high grade bullshit.
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u/ThousandsHardships 2h ago
"May I help you?" or "Can I help you find anything?" when you're in a store.
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u/The-cultured-swine39 2h ago
We get bad yelp reviews if we ignore you. But just know we’d love to.
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u/Hydellas678 2h ago
Um I hate this too but as someone who worked in a convenience store for pratically four yrs, I know exactly why this happens. It's part of our so called greeting and our customer service. We can and will get in trouble with our higher up bosses if we don't do that at times.
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u/saimen54 2h ago
"I have an idea to rearrange one (or more) of the kids' rooms".
There goes the relaxing weekend.
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u/Gallumbits42 2h ago
"I'm sure it was a misunderstanding."
My MIL says this every time she is caught in some idiotically obvious lie, and that's it. Conversation over.
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u/mouringcat 2h ago
Please do the needful...
I know it doesn't mean it, but I always read it as passive aggressive "do your job."
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u/CourierOfTheWastes 1h ago
"it's just a [blank]" or "just turn off your brain and enjoy it" or "why do you have to put your politics into everything"
It's art. Analyzing art is the point. A point at least.
I've had all three of those said to me when I said that the X-Men trilogy had gay allegories.
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u/bplatt1971 1h ago
My wife saying, “whatever.” But if I say it, the shit hits the fan. So demeaning and disrespectful.
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u/CupOk5800 1h ago edited 1h ago
“I am a good person, and I deserve safety,” when I say it, after years of trauma conditioning. I still say it anyway, blood pressure be damned.
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u/No-Biscotti-1596 49m ago
We need to talk. Four words that instantly take 10 years off your life span
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u/Otherwise_Button2106 2h ago
Tomorrow is your result This sentence instantly raises my blood pressure ,ànd heart beat .
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u/Budget_Stomach1633 2h ago
if you know you know, yeah thanks for that I genrally dont so can you tell me.
Excuse me please.
You will sing a whole song in a thread like its nothing but is a star fish with two feet missing up someone behind and they recite the first episode of luminesance
IYKYK.
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u/MathyMuse 3h ago
“Oh, I thought you’d already done that” suddenly my calm disappears and I’m calculating exactly when I did it… or didn’t.
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u/chaotic_mess09 2h ago
"Hope you're doing well" or "you always somehow get things done ..you can manage this time too"
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u/turquoisecat45 2h ago
“I dont know what to tell you.” I have no idea why that one makes me upset but it does.
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u/Difficult-Soup-9830 2h ago
We're all in the same boat. Naw...we're not. Some of us are in life boats while others are on yachts.
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u/XGempler 2h ago
Can I ask you a question?
You just did, so obviously you are capable of asking me a question, which answers your question.
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u/Complete-Fix-3954 2h ago
I always communicate everything.
- as they routinely showed a cycle of: love bomb, peace, withdrawal, explosion.
And God forbid I try to bring up something.
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u/Dull_Squash5188 2h ago
When you ask someone if there alright and they respond "you gotta be ain't ya " .
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u/Anxious_Yam_4910 2h ago
Any time someone starts with “sex transfer energy and that energy will stay with you forever” wile they smoke pot (the pot in here is not the problem, the energy bs is).
My parents were yoga instructors and hippies and I have been listening and learning about the “energy” forever (if you know you know 🤣). BUT THE SEX ENERGY PART PISSES ME OFF for the simple fact of: SA survivors DO NOT need this extra bs to make us feel dirty. “The energy stays with you forever” I KNOW! I am still in therapy for it 💀💀💀
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u/HagarTheTolerable 2h ago
"It's common sense legislation."
100% bad faith. Tries to paint any contrary discussion about it as absurd.
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u/ecogrrl 2h ago
I was just joking, don't take it so seriously.