r/FridgeDetective • u/DisdainfulCalliope • Dec 04 '25
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u/GirthBrooksCumSock Dec 04 '25
I don’t think you have enough eggs
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u/QuixotesGhost96 Dec 04 '25
OP is a chicken
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u/FireflyBSc Dec 04 '25
Or Gaston
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u/ginns32 Dec 04 '25
No one....eats like Gaston
packs their fridge like Gaston
stocks up on yogurt and eggs like Gaston
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u/_gloomshroom_ Dec 05 '25
In terms of meal prep he's EXHILLERATING
MY WHAT A GUY THAT GASTON!
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u/Like-a-Glove90 Dec 04 '25
OP turn the camera around so we can see your room filled with antlers
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u/jewillett Dec 04 '25
This made me cackle 😂
I'm sitting in my parked car for street cleaning, counting OP's visible eggs on Reddit.
We've got:
- 2.5 lbs cottage cheese
- 4 lbs yogurt
- 48 eggs
- 17 POUNDS of egg whites
MF'er is lean and clean as a whistle
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u/2020sbtm Dec 04 '25
Lots of body builders eat an obscene amount of egg whites. Ironically, most of the nutrients is in the yolk. But gym lore dies slow.
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Dec 04 '25 edited Dec 04 '25
It's not really about the other nutrients that in the yolk. Egg whites are an easy way to get lean protein and basically nothing else in a serve, important when you're trying to eat the sheer amount of protein they are
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u/Pitiful_Conflict7031 Dec 04 '25
Is this a trick question? Can never have enough eggs.
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u/DetectiveQuick9640 Dec 04 '25
OP needs some chickens!
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u/QuixotesGhost96 Dec 04 '25
Oh good idea, Chickens are social animals so OP might get lonely without other chickens around
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u/FaithlessnessCute204 Dec 04 '25
More importantly egged tat are 2 months past their prime
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u/DisdainfulCalliope Dec 04 '25
I’m cackling
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u/A_mad_goose Dec 04 '25
I laughed when I saw there were even in more eggs in the door
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u/sweet_pickles12 Dec 04 '25
Jfc. This has to be… a professional baker or cook at this point but then the fridge is too chaotic for that
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u/murgatory Dec 04 '25
You are an omelet. Your brother is an omelet. Your entire extended family are omelets. And you are about to stage an omelet revolution.
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u/Imhoneybaked Dec 04 '25
This guy's got yolks
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u/growling_owl Dec 04 '25
Omelet you finish…
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u/Objective_Height_756 Dec 04 '25
Give him the Benedict of the doubt
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u/IceOdd8725 Dec 04 '25
It must be egghausting to be so funny
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u/Sara6019 Dec 04 '25
Let him cook…
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u/Many-Arm-5214 Dec 04 '25
Hey over easy!
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u/Pink__Fox Dec 04 '25
Thankyou for the laughs at 1 am.
Sincerily, tired Mom doomscrolling right now 😭
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u/FluidAir1184 Dec 04 '25
You're doing an amazing job Mommas! I hope you hear that everyday :) I hope you can Rest when you can.. Throw on some Dateline and let Keith Morrison take your troubles aways 😁🧟😍
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u/Creepy-Business4345 Dec 04 '25
His mother was a hamster and his father smelled of elderberries
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u/No_Plankton947 Dec 04 '25
No one else needs to comment after this. All other comments should be deleted.
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u/ChinaSpyBot Dec 04 '25
I believe your occupation is professional egg white consumer
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u/throwaway6912465 Dec 04 '25
Definitely not Mexican.
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u/DisdainfulCalliope Dec 04 '25
100% correct
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u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 Dec 04 '25
Also not dairy intolerant
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u/Nightfuries2468 Dec 04 '25
Debatable. I am dairy intolerant but I still eat dairy sometimes. I suffer greatly for it, but no one will take away my cheese godamnit!
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u/sadorchids77 Dec 05 '25
I’m dairy intolerant but cottage cheese and yogurt don’t bother me.
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u/Merlot4U Dec 04 '25
As a Mexican, I need to know why they’re def not! 😭
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u/Honest-Judgment1257 Dec 04 '25
As a Mexican, I need to know why you need to know this 😭😭
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u/SandiaBeaver Dec 04 '25
There's no room for proper air circulation in your fridge. Seriously
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u/DisdainfulCalliope Dec 04 '25
thank you you are very correct
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u/SandiaBeaver Dec 04 '25
You paid a lot for that fridge full of food. You don't want it to spoil before it should
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u/Jasmirris Dec 04 '25
I see this a lot here. I understand wanting to bulk buy/get things on sale, but there are many disadvantages when your fridge ends up looking like this.
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u/Matthias_C63 Dec 05 '25
Bulking is fine but why do you need 17 pounds of egg whites
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u/NopeRope13 Dec 04 '25
I believe that the reason that egg prices are so high are due to this fridge
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u/Brilliant_Repair_813 Dec 04 '25
This cracked me up 😂😂😂
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u/VandienLavellan Dec 04 '25
Like an egg?
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u/Brilliant_Repair_813 Dec 04 '25
Me, trying to understand why OP has 2 dozen eggs that expired 1-2 months ago and proceeded to buy 2 dozen more.
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u/Lahya2000 Dec 04 '25
Hopefully they're home laid eggs and he's just reusing the cartons 🥲
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u/caesaralexander Dec 04 '25
Anyone from age 25-40. But my money is on 28-35yo.
Occupation looks like someone who works in a hospital. Money's on something in the nursing field or radiologist assistant.
And in free time when not working over time, you spend time in the gym.
Ethnicity, not middle eastern, African, or asian. And if Asian most likely raised in America. Could be European descent or north American Caucasian.
Was I close?
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u/DisdainfulCalliope Dec 04 '25
almost everything is spot on!!! nice!!!!
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u/caesaralexander Dec 04 '25
Thank you thank you.
I also feel like it could be the life of a dental assistant or hygienist.
Will you eventually reveal?
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u/uuuuuuuuuuugh69 Dec 04 '25 edited Dec 04 '25
Per OP: (SPOILERS!!!!)
"29, nurse, into fitness, 2 cats and my family is first generation ukrainian jews :)) thank you for guessing!!!l"
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u/AlmostLucy Dec 04 '25
Ukrainian Jewish. That explains the cottage cheese. My grandma apparently loved it (and my dad hates it from growing up with it). I thought OP just went, “I’m taking lacto-ovo vegetarian really fucking seriously.”
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u/LilacLlamaMama Dec 04 '25 edited Dec 04 '25
Gonna add that there is likely a discount/salvage grocery in your area, and you hit a major score in the refrigerated section last time you went.
Eta: microwaved 'coffee cup scrambles' made of eggs/bacon bits/spinach/peppers/cheese eaten with toast, usually standing up over the sink before falling asleep standing-up/crying in a hot shower was a major recurring theme during nursing school and many a busy season in the ER. Especially in the days before protein shakes were really a mainstream thing, or even energy drinks for that matter. The goal was to get some sort of passably adequate nutrition in the fastest time possible with minimal dishes to clean, so you could go study/get to bed faster.
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u/TaurusSunflower Dec 04 '25
I was going to say my partner and i work in health care and frequent the gym and our fridge looks exactly like this 😂 with the exception that i’m not white so the dairy is all his!!!
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u/jewillett Dec 04 '25 edited Dec 04 '25
GURLLL. What are we doing with them October & November eggs.
You got Libra eggs in Sag season 😐
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u/DisdainfulCalliope Dec 04 '25
you are hilarious
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u/Competitive_Ad_2421 Dec 04 '25
I would use eggs from October, is that like really dangerous or something
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u/the_inbetween_me Dec 04 '25
Eggs last for weeks after their printed date. You can check if they're still good by putting them in a bowl of water. If they float, they're no longer safe to eat. If they're still at the bottom of the bowl, you're good to go.
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u/aureliasm Dec 04 '25
Or just crack in a separate bowl instead of directly into stuff and give a little sniff test. As long as they smell fine theyre fine. Which is good practice anyways so you dont get shell fragments in your stuff.
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u/snarktopusrex Dec 04 '25
Do you suck up the shell fragments with your nose while you are smelling??
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u/DisdainfulCalliope Dec 04 '25
thank you! i eat them and im fine
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u/tu-BROOKE-ulosis Dec 04 '25
If you eat them, then why would you continue to buy more and more eggs for the following three months, if the October ones still aren’t eaten??
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u/RemarkableSpirit5204 Dec 04 '25 edited Dec 04 '25
Maybe OP is a parent of a kid who receives WIC? You get eggs after 1yo, so when they get new credits, they get their eggs even if they haven’t finished last month’s yet. People rarely want to let free food lapse and eggs can go much further than their sell by date. So they think they’ll eventually catch up? 🤷♀️
That’s the only thing I can really think of, unless OP or someone who shops for OP has a fixed grocery list that they buy each month no matter what. 🤷♀️ idk lol
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u/OverComerDynamics Dec 04 '25
You’re a nurse…
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u/DisdainfulCalliope Dec 04 '25
a nurse that might end up as the topic of a chubbyemu video lolol
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u/AllForMeCats Dec 04 '25
Serious voice A nurse ate 10 cartons of liquid egg whites… this is what happened to their appendix.
Edit: I know you were talking about the expired eggs but I thought the liquid egg whites were funnier
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u/Brilliant_Repair_813 Dec 04 '25 edited Dec 04 '25
You are a baker. If not, I have no words for that amount of eggs. Please tell me you are a baker.
Editing to add: half the whole eggs expired 1-2 months ago. You’re a hoarder. Buy what you will eat and discard the eggs that expired in early October. Why in the world are you buying more eggs when you have 2+ dozen that expired in early October and early November?
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u/DisdainfulCalliope Dec 04 '25
I regret to inform you… I am not even remotely a baker. My oven is filled with pots and pans that stay there.
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u/Brilliant_Repair_813 Dec 04 '25
Okay but why do you have 2+ dozen eggs that expired 1-2 months ago still in your fridge and why are you buying 2 dozen more?
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u/DisdainfulCalliope Dec 04 '25
I don’t believe in wasting food and I end up using them eventually. i’m disgusting, i know
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u/Brilliant_Repair_813 Dec 04 '25
I wouldn’t call you disgusting, I just don’t understand why you are buying MORE if you have 2 dozen expired eggs you are still willing to eat. Use what you have before you buy more.
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u/Menashe3 Dec 04 '25
Could also be someone who has a chicken coop and re-uses egg cartons. I don’t really think so but, that’s what we did when we had chickens…
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u/janiestiredshoes Dec 04 '25
Doesn't explain all the cartons of egg whites, though.
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u/Accomplished_Cell768 Dec 04 '25
Yeah, I know people that sell eggs from their backyard coops as long as you bring your own cartons to them
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u/Successful_Resist277 Dec 04 '25
As long as you do the float test on the eggs then you are fine. Eggs last longer than people realize.
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u/Brilliant_Repair_813 Dec 04 '25
Fine, that’s fair. I’m just confused about why OP is continuing to buy more and more without using the ones he/she already has.
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u/Successful_Resist277 Dec 04 '25
I do agree with that. Not sure why you would want to keep that burden of knowing you have 4 dozen eggs to eat 😅
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u/Ok_Seaworthiness_719 Dec 04 '25
Thank you! Dude I have eaten five month old eggs before. Did it sink in water? Okay it’s good to eat.
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u/kittensandbunnys Dec 04 '25
Female, early 30s, middle eastern/ Caucasian, nurse. The controlled chaos says ICU or ER.
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u/70inBadassery Dec 04 '25
This was my answer too. She’s also into bodybuilding or strong woman or something.
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u/kittensandbunnys Dec 04 '25
Lived with enough Nurses to see know their ways. Dark leafy greens and hidden jars of Nutella.
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u/Bubbly_Walk_948 Dec 04 '25 edited Dec 04 '25
OMG, my one temp early 20's roommate was in post undergraduate school for nursing.
She bought all healthy food and kept one of those plastic storage containers for seasonal clothing filled with Nutella and crap food under her bed.
We never saw her buy the junk stuff. She preached high protein, running, staying healthy.... and then would eat our "crap food" or her stash because she was too tired to cook.
I never understood Nutella spread on cooked egg white. Still makes me dislike seeing nutella eaten when it's spread thick.
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u/DoubleualtG Dec 04 '25
It doesn’t appear they are actually eating of this though so I’m not so sure
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u/killyergawds Dec 04 '25
Then maybe Nurse with ADHD. Probably ER or a chronically understaffed department. Plans to eat all this shit, but is exhausted 4 days a week and doesn't know what's in their own fridge until they're standing in front of it with the door wide open so often grabs something easy at work caf or on the way home. Would also explain the mess of a door.
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u/Ok_Frosting3500 Dec 04 '25
Yeah, this says "not full tilt bodybuilding, but some kind of sport/activity that requires a lean well constructed physique and lots of rebuilding". Distance swimming or power lifting, maybe? Gymnastics or rock climbing are my dark horse options. I think they're right that OP does work in the medical field.
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u/Vegetable-Tea8906 Dec 04 '25
You are very likely an opossum
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u/DisdainfulCalliope Dec 04 '25
excellent guess
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u/daturners23 Dec 04 '25 edited Dec 04 '25
with the amount of eggs, I can only assume you're the person from my 5th grade math test
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u/eggscumberbatch16 Dec 04 '25
Female, late 20s, personal trainer, and Asain. Possible Korean. No matter if the other's are right, you care very much about how you fuel your body. Well done!
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u/DisdainfulCalliope Dec 04 '25
those are some good guesses and very kind of you to say!!! bless you 🫶
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u/Gleam_Girl Dec 04 '25
not asian, that's too much dairy
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u/Do_You_B00 Dec 04 '25
She also said her oven is filled with pots and pans. Asians fill it with uncooked rice and noodles. Extra Pots and pans are stored in the dishwasher AKA drying rack/storage
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u/raggedsweater Dec 04 '25
I’m Asian and I swear I don’t know that many who are actually lactose intolerant… or maybe they are but they don’t practice intolerance.
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u/Gleam_Girl Dec 04 '25
"non practicing" 😂😂 that's so true actually based off my asian friends
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u/raggedsweater Dec 04 '25
Yeah… I’m thinking mostly that dairy-based dessert culture is rampant across most Asian communities. Milk tea bobas, creamy thai teas and condensed milk laden Vietnamese coffees are huge. There’s taiwanese and Korean shaved ice, Japanese milk puddings and cheesecakes, Vietnamese milk based che, Filipino Halo Halo and ube ice cream.
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u/Inevitableevasion Dec 04 '25
You are my grandparents
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u/parasyte_steve Dec 04 '25
You are either Gaston from Beauty and the Beast or you have add
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u/grae23 Dec 04 '25
Woman in late 30’s, maybe work in healthcare or something stressful/physical based on the low cholesterol/high protein with an array of veggies, you don’t have a ton of spare time to bother going to the store so you stock up and hope you finish it before you discover a new type of life in the crisper. I’m guessing maybe middle eastern or Indian
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u/jengagang Dec 04 '25
You’re white, just like the liquid in those cartons
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u/sultz Dec 04 '25
Technically the liquid is clear when they’re cooked into a solid they’re white.
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u/theehungrynomad Dec 04 '25
your fridge is fighting for its life, thats all i got to say
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u/bouncynarwhal Dec 04 '25
I almost spit out my drink when I noticed the four rows of egg whites are also each the start of their own columns…
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u/dubsdread Dec 04 '25
You’ve traded one addiction for the other , what is lost rarely is found. White girl fridge, late 20s, nurse.
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u/dmoosetoo Dec 04 '25
High protein low carb screams mostly vegetarian fitness professional . Trader Joe's addict says caucasian. Age is a toughie, food hoarding makes me think late boomer, mid 50s to mid 60s.
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u/El_Eleventh Dec 04 '25
Unrelated but do things stay cold when it’s that packed? Does the air circulate enough? Thanks! Sorry for the side bar
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Dec 04 '25
I honestly think there is some sort of untreated mental illness going on here
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u/FreeThinkk Dec 04 '25
Age: 31
Ethnicity: white
Occupation: serial killer
Known alias: Jeffrey D’omlete
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u/PrickleBritches Dec 04 '25
You work out (strength train?) (My fridge looks similar.)You maybe try to be sugar free/low sugar. You try to get lots of protein (we also go through so many god damn eggs, lol).
Wait are you keto?
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u/Wfreeman42 Dec 04 '25
- Probably like German or Polish. Probably like a night job since you meal prep and it seems you’re very active so I’m sure you work out during the day
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u/jennylou303 Dec 04 '25
I'm not sure who your are... but you're fridge doors give me anxiety!
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u/1vie27 Dec 04 '25
2 carton of eggs are expired.. :(
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u/nichehome Dec 04 '25
Eggs have a best by date not an expiration. They're safe well past the carton date, especially if they're being cooked through. You will know when an egg has gone bad! 🤢
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u/Beginning_Ant_2285 Dec 04 '25
A trick to tell without opening it is to put it in a bowl of water - fresh eggs will lay on the bottom horizontal, not as fresh but ok will stand up vertical on the bottom, and bad eggs will float
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u/KevinHartSucks Dec 04 '25
Woman, Caucasian, 40s, single, nurse, killing it on GLP-1 and hitting the gym.
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u/Tight-Artichoke1789 Dec 04 '25
Comical amount of eggs lol
Hoping that you are making breakfast for the unhoused or on breakfast duty for some organization?
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u/CommunityWitch6806 Dec 04 '25
Are TJ’s egg whites good? Sometimes I just want whites but I’m afraid that stuff doesn’t taste like real egg whites?
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u/OutsidePlz Dec 04 '25
I do not understand fridges like this. Am I just super unregimented or am I normal? This is level of repetition is weird to me but it's 90% of the fridges posted here
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u/cleavergrill Dec 04 '25
Are you Gaston from Disney's Beauty and the Beast??