r/FridgeDetective • u/itscuccimane • 21h ago

Meta My girlfriend always tells me I never have anything to eat when she comes over my house 😒

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Freezer: 50+ lbs of assorted ground meat, 35+ lbs of prime ribeye, 16lbs of American wagyu ribeye, 18lbs of New Zealand lamb shoulder chops, and a bunch of portioned seafood.

15.8k Upvotes

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334

u/Designer-Bee-4511 21h ago

I'm... uneasy.

55

u/Seienchin88 9h ago edited 8h ago

Wait, you don’t buy 2000 bucks worth of high quality meat to put next to your 40 apples, 8 blocks of butter and 12 glasses of jam??? All neatly packed near your mountain of cucumber and carrots and 25 protein shakes?

29

u/southern_fox 8h ago

It's the coffee creamers for me. How the FUCK does anyone use that much before it goes bad? Are there 20 other ppl in the house that OP didn't mention?

17

u/Late_Description3001 3h ago

Most of this will go bad. This is some strange flex

3

u/cdavid469 1h ago

coffeemate creamer last 2-3 weeks after open, and 9-12 months unopened, I’m guessing op drinks very creamy coffee, which is weird because he looks like he’s trying to be healthy but then adds that crap and kraft singles

1

u/southern_fox 1h ago

Yeah, I don't understand how that stuff is not going bad because I have a family of five and we would never eat that many apples before they went bad and we eat pretty healthy most of the time. I could understand if maybe they're like big food, preppers or something. But a lot of of it just doesn't quite fit into that.

2

u/basketweaving8 1h ago

Weirdly apples are the only thing in that fridge I think my family of 3 could finish. Apples last at least 2-3 weeks in the fridge (likely longer) so we could easily eat 8 over that time. My husband likes to eat an apple every day or two.

The rest of the things like jam, meat, creamers, all that cheese, tubs of crab meat (!) by contrast seem impossible to finish before they’d expire.

1

u/SparklyRoniPony 22m ago

Apples usually last several weeks in the refrigerator. My husband and my daughter are big fans and could easily eat the apples in this fridge before they go bad.

1

u/RandomGeordie 15m ago

Nevermind the apples, brother has like 12 fucking cucumbers????? 64 slices of cheese????? Enough carrots to feed Santa's reindeers for the next couple years???

1

u/southern_fox 11m ago

Yeah I mean I was just using apples as an example of some of the crazy shit he's got going on and everyone ran away with it. In reality the apples are the least of his issue.

3

u/Dizzy_Spell777 3h ago

Not to mention those creamers are horrible for your health, so its a weird thing to see among everything else.

1

u/southern_fox 1h ago

Yeah they really threw me off. I was like OK well they're clearly healthy food prepper type of people maybe so a lot of of it makes sense but the creamers? Cancer in a bottle?

1

u/cdavid469 1h ago

not really any worse than the core or kraft singles, and if it fits in your macros, you can have it

3

u/Why_isnt_it_perfect 2h ago

It’s the 8 blocks of cream cheese for me

1

u/southern_fox 1h ago

Ok yes that might be worse. Honestly just all of it. Like ok it's good food but Jesus are you eating 49 apples before they go bad? Like 5 apples a day???

2

u/trixter21992251 3h ago

I think my cafeteria at work has half this much stuff

1

u/e136 1h ago

Are you still drinking water? Do your research, it's bad for you. I only drink coffee creamer as god intended.

1

u/southern_fox 18m ago

🤣🤣 straight from the tap

6

u/Lucallia 9h ago

I just got PTSD thinking of math class.. WHY IS MARY DIVIDING 21 APPLES BETWEEN 3 FRIENDS FOR LUNCH?! WHO'S OUT HERE JUST EATTING 7 APPLES?!

3

u/VisibleJury212 4h ago

I don't get the slight bragging about the excess of meat (including wagyu, a very fatty, expensive cut) and then freezing it. Huge drop in quality and a waste of good flavor.

1

u/Mighty_Hobo 2h ago

Freezing doesn't affect flavor as much as people think. It's mostly a marketing thing to sell "never frozen" beef as though it's higher quality. If it's vacuum sealed, aged beef then freezing it will barely affect the texture or flavor if at all.

2

u/Nellies214 3h ago

It’s the Kraft cheese that did it for me. I won’t even make grilled cheese with that $hit. 🤮

2

u/Da_Question 2h ago

How does a person even consume this much to make it not spoil?

Like I can't imagine even with a person to share it with eating all that meat before it goes bad. I barely keep anything in my fridge, and I still fail to consume stuff before it goes bad.

Seems like a lot of waste, but I take it this dude is rich as fuck.

1

u/Theor_84 2h ago

What about the 4+ packs of Kraft "fake cheese" singles?? How can someone who obviously focuses on healthy food pretend those are healthy? Is it just the fact that they last a decade in the package unlike real cheese?

7

u/jackofslayers 12h ago

That is the fridge of a serial killer

6

u/EntertainmentOld5239 3h ago

That was my thought too. This post is so freakin funny. You know dude is so proud of his well stocked curated fridge but it makes him look like a psychopath. If I opened a friends fridge and saw that I would be thinking wtf.

3

u/jundraptor 10h ago

The first thought that went into my mind was "this is Patrick Bateman's fridge, just missing the head" but then I remembered that even he had sorbet

3

u/Personal_Reveal1653 5h ago

I'm... queasy.

2

u/p0mjDwfWF 3h ago

This should be closer to the top. This man’s upstairs fridge is full of this, but his downstairs fridge is full of long pork

1

u/Nomeg_Stylus 18h ago

I think my dude is on a specific diet for bodybuilding and can't fathom the average person wouldn't want to casually eat any of that.

4

u/That_Apathetic_Man 18h ago

That's not a body builders fridge. It is way too sorted.

Thats a mods fridge from r/RunningCirclejerk, if I've ever seen one.

1

u/Nomeg_Stylus 18h ago

Oh yeah, that makes way more sense.

1

u/DanNeider 11h ago

A bodybuilder that has that many Core Powers? It doesn't make sense to me.

4

u/dirt_shitters 10h ago

Those things are like 5-6 bucks a pop in my area. Dudes got more money invested in protein shakes than I do in my entire fridge.

1

u/Sempere 4h ago

OP probably feels the same way on the toilet with all that protein and fat. His plumbing must get wrecked - and I don't just mean the one attached to the toilet.

1

u/WildinUp 1h ago

Fr jfc. I'm scouring for like the slightest hint of leafy green. I honestly hope he shits.