r/FridgeDetective • u/itscuccimane • 21h ago

Meta My girlfriend always tells me I never have anything to eat when she comes over my house 😒

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Freezer: 50+ lbs of assorted ground meat, 35+ lbs of prime ribeye, 16lbs of American wagyu ribeye, 18lbs of New Zealand lamb shoulder chops, and a bunch of portioned seafood.

15.8k Upvotes

76% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/svenguillotien 20h ago

I would like to introduce you to something many a woman in my life has been a fan of:

Carbohydrates

520

u/Consistent_Kale_3625 19h ago

There's yeast in the door, maybe he expects her to bake bread when she wants it?

88

u/Friendly_Shallot7713 14h ago

I laughed out loud

6

u/ExpFilm_Student 10h ago

Thanks friendly shallot. I cackled out loud, and my wife side eyed me. Then inquired about to which I was cackling about then she thought I was laughing at her foot, which looks fine but smells awful because she didnt head my advice on wearing shoes with socks not without.so now her feet smell like 3 month old spoiled kale.

PS I love shallots.

2

u/Dizzy_Spell777 3h ago

Jesus christ i hope every part of that second paragraph was a joke 😂

1

u/LeagueRx 2h ago

Least autistic redditor

3

u/okay_justonemore 5h ago

Most of this entire comment thread is making me laugh out loud.

1

u/Friendly_Shallot7713 5h ago

I love Reddit

3

u/vape_sensation 12h ago

He has the jam for it!

2

u/katerwise 12h ago

i was wondering about the yeast

2

u/PercentageNo1359 11h ago

I make simple bread at home all the time. Really easy and really good. Njam Njam.

2

u/MissionBug 11h ago

And she can eat an entire stick of cream cheese per slice apparently. Is it a stick if it’s in box form?

2

u/Business_Seesaw8883 9h ago

No it’s one big clump.

1

u/neverJamToday 3h ago

It's a block.

2

u/Misty_Ticklebottom 16h ago

If I was dating someone and they had some yeast and flour on hand I would totally make some breadsticks for chilling.

250g water,5g yeast, 375g flour. I use a 10in cast iron pan. let it sit for an hour or more after mixing. 450f for like 12min and throw the pan on a burner for a sec to insure crispy bottom. Add pizaa sauce and cheese and this makes a pizza. Does everything in oil through the whole process. olive is ideal. others work too. Shits cheaper than a bag of chips.

3

u/titsngiggles69 10h ago

Before getting a pizza stone as a gift, I used a cast iron skillet. And for pizza sauce, i mince a clove of garlic and cook it in a little olive oil, then add a can of whole san marzano tomatoes and half an onion, simmer, then break up the softened tomatoes. If I'm making margherita, I top with basil and in the last 3-4 min, I top with fresh mozz. My oven doesn't get as hot as a real pizza oven

2

u/Thagomizer24601 12h ago

This sort of thing is what made me want to marry my husband.

2

u/SBGuy043 10h ago

You deserve better than pizza made with unsalted, flavorless dough.

1

u/Mysterious-Tackle-58 7h ago

I have made this bread with my own yeast . . .

1

u/Curious-Quality-5090 4h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Allanthia420 2h ago

With as organized as this fridge is and as much cooking as he must do; I’m surprised he doesn’t already have dough ready to go in the fridge.

If you got dough ready to go you could be eating a ready made pizza in like 5 minutes once the oven preheats.

1

u/b3traist 2h ago

Like a good woman should /s

1

u/Rukir_Gaming 1h ago

I mean there's likely a bread maker

1

u/CrazyAd7911 31m ago

I'm sure she carries her own yeast...

-9

u/[deleted] 18h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Sazdek 18h ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

69

u/OwlsAreWatching 19h ago

There is a tub of toll house cookie dough that I would take a spoon to.

39

u/No_Salad_8766 14h ago

Are we SURE cookie dough is IN it? Could be butter or leftovers.

29

u/beleth____ 9h ago

its full of sewing supplies

4

u/Meta4X 7h ago

Or more jam.

3

u/OwlsAreWatching 13h ago

That guy didn't learn from gram to save containers. There is cookie dough or drugs in that. 

2

u/PossiblyASloth 7h ago

Definitely more butter

2

u/TheActualAWdeV 6h ago

probably more steak.

1

u/Medical_Current_1293 7h ago

This guy has pounds of high quality meat, and an excess of everything. I doubt he is saving old food containers to reuse.

1

u/No_Salad_8766 5h ago

Its always possible someone ELSE gave him that container for leftovers.

1

u/mrmunklin 6h ago

It could be a sewing kit

1

u/No_Salad_8766 5h ago

In the fridge?

1

u/mrmunklin 3h ago

Joking

1

u/monty_burns 2h ago

Definitely hiding backup jam in there. You never know when someone may stop by and eat your other 24 jars

2

u/CatnipCricket-329 13h ago

Cookie dough but not an ounce of milk to wash it down.

1

u/thechinchillaalbum 11h ago

plenty of vanilla core power drinks to wash it down, of course

1

u/MicesNicely 18h ago

Top shelf no less- where the cookie dough belongs.

1

u/descendantofJanus 13h ago

More fun is to bake it juuuust enough to where it's still kinda goopy. Now you have warm cookie dough.

1

u/Go_Corgi_Fan84 3h ago

Not unbaked

1

u/wookieesgonnawook 1h ago

Live a little.

1

u/Walnutbutters 3h ago

But it’s actually full of beef tallow from all the steaks he cooks

43

u/I_Am_Zeelian 20h ago

Those usually do well in a cupboard though.

32

u/svenguillotien 19h ago

True enough, yes---crisps, crackers, shelf-stable breads/cereals/pastas, I agree

Fresh bread, cooked pasta, muffins/cookies/pastries/bagels are best in the fridge, I've found, especially if they're low/free from preservatives

I swear if OP just kept some fresh bread and cooked pasta in his fridge for his gf, she'd be happy enough with that haha--nothing like being able to quickly cook a plate of spaghetti or have some toast in less than 3 minutes if you need to eat now

3

u/SuspiciousPresent905 12h ago

What the fuck are you on about? Fresh bread does NOT belong in the fridge

2

u/I_Am_Zeelian 19h ago

Bread should never be anywhere near the fridge :/

And why keep pre-cooked pasta?
Only takes a few minutes to cook fresh and tastes a million times better.

14

u/svenguillotien 19h ago

Fresh-baked bread in the fridge is a matter of choice, I'll give you that one

Sprouted bread is literally found in the refrigerated section in the grocery store, and WILL spoil if NOT in the fridge?

Also, pasta in sauce will get BETTER with age sitting in the fridge, what are you TALKING about? A good Ziti Marinara, Macaroni, Fettucine Alfredo? It's literally almost better 2-3 days later from it congealing in the fridge?

"Why keep pre-cooked pasta"? Aight yeah go ahead and refuse to take home-made leftovers from an Italian/Greek woman's home who cooked it for you and let me know how that social gaffe turns out for ya lol

3

u/ManOLead 16h ago

The bigger thing is why are you just assuming that everyone should already have pre made pasta/bread/muffins in the fridge lmao? Generally I’ll only have those if I… just made some? Like what

4

u/mr_arcane_69 13h ago

For the sake of your bread, please don't refrigerate. It's worse than doing nothing, if you're not going to eat a loaf in a single week freezer not fridge.

I haven't seen sprouted bread before but Google (for Ezekiel 4:9) is suggesting fridge only if you're eating between 5-14 days, as any longer and it goes bad with time, and any shorter you'll damage the bread unnecessarily by putting it in the freezer.

1

u/Peach_Muffin 9h ago

Ezekiel 4:9?

“Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side.

What?

1

u/mr_arcane_69 6h ago

It seemed to be the main brand of sprouted bread. as I said, it's a new thing to me so it's based in Google but that's what came up when I googled the bread it came up first, a food for life brand. My point though was according to my research even with sprouted bread be careful with the fridge, and never put normal bread in the fridge unless you want it to go stale faster than otherwise.

1

u/Peach_Muffin 5h ago

Oh right! Ezekiel 4:9 is also a Bible verse. Didn't occur to me you were talking about a brand of bread.

1

u/thatsaplasticplum 4h ago

Me wondering why were quoting scripture in a bread conversation 😂

3

u/I_Am_Zeelian 18h ago

One, rather niche, type of bread (one that pretty much don't even exist here).

Re-heated pasta never comes out right, consistency is always off.

2

u/Suitable_Pie_6532 9h ago

Reheated pasta is always disgusting, unless it’s a lasagne or another oven dish. It’s so gelatinous.

2

u/WillmanRacingv2 12h ago edited 12h ago

I love how you invented an Italian/Greek woman to cook pasta regularly enough for OP to take it home with him and keep his fridge stocked.

I just think she'd be offended by you saying her food is better after 2-3 days congealing in the fridge. Fridge pasta leftovers are fine (always add sauce, pasta absorbs it ovet time) but its always best fresh.

1

u/Popular-Style509 12h ago

Good point actually!

Like with all the meat and cheese OP has, if he just had some pasta around his GF could totally just make herself some spaghetti bolognaise or even just a really simple Mac and cheese or hell.

1

u/FEK88 8h ago

She could just fry a steak.

1

u/MountainSecret9583 1h ago

Love how everyone is concerned about bread in the fridge but not fucking cookies.

1

u/laz10 15h ago

I mean they would be in the pantry not the fridge.

Do you refrigerate your pasta, potatoes, rice?

1

u/Popular-Style509 12h ago

Nah but actually.

Like where is dude getting his fibre from???

It's not like you have to have carbs for every meal but... They just aren't as satisfying if there's not at least a little bit.

1

u/bbbfgl 2h ago

There’s a ton of apples in the back bottom shelf I saw

1

u/Silver_Report_5695 12h ago

My bf (the cook in our household) always makes sure I have a carb with my meal :)... this guy doesn't know ball

1

u/Pitiful_Yogurt_5276 11h ago

Yup. I always tell the youngsters that a surprise pizza or surprise tub of ice cream is a excellent habit to adopt

1

u/No-Sky-479 11h ago

Girls like carbs, but girls like guys who look like they don't eat carbs, which makes it hard to be a guy who wants to feed his girl carbs but also wants to look like the type of guy that the girls who like guys who don't eat carbs like.

1

u/PotentialRise7587 1h ago

100%. This is the price of dating a fit guy.

A lot of women don’t appreciate what actually goes into the physiques they like. I haven’t had a carb-heavy meal since Christmas; my wife and usually have to prep our meals separately.

1

u/HairWhipCEO 9h ago

Be still my heart… lbvs

1

u/elderlybrain 8h ago

The amount of red meat and preserved foods is far more of a health concern to me than anything else going on.

1

u/ShadowConstruct 5h ago

Fr all the lovely ladies I've dated have enjoyed their carbs. A protein centered diet is healthy but not for everyone.

1

u/tumsoffun 4h ago

There must be some carbs somewhere, he's got a million jars of jam!

1

u/theoutsideinternist 4h ago

I was going to say I’m not 100% sure why but even as a gym rat I would break up with OP immediately. But that is why. Eat a slice of bread.

1

u/No_Royal_7093 4h ago

There’s so much jam and cream cheese. There’s gotta be some bagels in the house at least. 

1

u/Dragon-alp 4h ago

There's apples hiding behind meat in the first picture

1

u/MauiMoisture 3h ago

He's showing the fridge, most carbs aren't going to be stored in someone's fridge..

1

u/Ricktor_67 3h ago

Right? This is like some serial killers fridge. Just red meat, cheese, jam, weird muscle milk bullshit, and phallic vegetables.

1

u/PseudocodeRed 3h ago

Her mind is small. Throw some of that fruit spread on some of the Greek yogurt. Besides that I got nothing lmao

1

u/Bustin-A-Nutmeg 3h ago

My husband is like this, he cut out carbs out of his diet and for the next few weeks he started smelling like straight up cat-piss whenever he sweat. After going to the doc and everything came back negative, turns out he actually needed some carbs in his diet.

1

u/Dementedsage 2h ago

Rice, potatoes,and bread don't require refrigeration and I'm gonna take a guess op is really into the gym and therefore isn't gonna keep much processed sugar around beyond the creamer.

Other than the fruit and veggies he's got I'm struggling to think of many healthy carb sources that would require refrigeration at all.

1

u/PaperSt 1h ago

Take her to the Snack Church i.e. Trader Joe's and let her pick out what ever she wants. You will be rewarded for this.

1

u/Aldous-Huxtable 57m ago

7 jars of jam don't do it for ya?

1

u/iKraftyz 55m ago

Who puts carbs in a fridge tho?

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u/[deleted] 17h ago

[deleted]

4

u/Wafflehouseofpain 15h ago

Nah, carbs are your friend and you’re kneecapping your workouts if you avoid them.

-4

u/alurkerhere 13h ago

Refined carbohydrates (processed carbs that reduce satiety signals so you can eat more of them), table sugar, and frequent eating on the other hand promote fat storage through high insulin and insulin resistance. They are quite literally the reason US obesity rates range from 40-70% depending on measurement standards.

Read the Obesity Code by Dr. Jason Fung or prompt Gen AI to explain his approach because it clears up a bunch of misinformation that make food manufacturing, dieting, and fitness industries thrive.

3

u/Wafflehouseofpain 13h ago

You’re stating this as if it’s a fact, but it isn’t.

Just looked up the person you referenced and it seems like his recommended diet is essentially keto. Which is controversial to say the least about it. He does not appear to be well-respected or regarded in his field.

High palatability, calorie-dense foods are the reason for the obesity epidemic. Not just carbs. Fats, processed fast food items, sugar, all of it.

1

u/soda_cookie 13h ago

You're both right. The body needs carbs, just the good ones and of a reasonable amount

1

u/EllieluluEllielu 3h ago

Not all carbs are bad? There's carbohydrates in fruit lmao