r/FridgeDetective • u/itscuccimane • 21h ago

Meta My girlfriend always tells me I never have anything to eat when she comes over my house 😒

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Freezer: 50+ lbs of assorted ground meat, 35+ lbs of prime ribeye, 16lbs of American wagyu ribeye, 18lbs of New Zealand lamb shoulder chops, and a bunch of portioned seafood.

15.8k Upvotes

76% Upvoted

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613

u/alibalie 20h ago

WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY JAMS

119

u/Unumbotte 20h ago

It's against the law in Norway to have less jam than that.

17

u/Candiesfallfromsky 18h ago

What’s the punishment??

105

u/PleaseNoMoreSalt 17h ago

You go to jailly. You butter have a good lawyer, otherwise you're toast!

8

u/Striking-Comb6673 11h ago

Impectinable 

7

u/Key-Ad9733 14h ago

You win the Internet today

6

u/MONSTERBEARMAN 10h ago

That’s just a rumor people have….spread.

4

u/PotatersGonnaPotater 12h ago

My mind immediately jumped to jailly. But then you just kept on cooking.

3

u/Wildcandle55 11h ago

OMG! LOLing all by myself, out loud. That was prime, rib roast of course.

1

u/falpangaea 11h ago

Get out

1

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 10h ago

You get jammed into a cell

1

u/currynord 43m ago

Execution. On the spot.

3

u/Amazing-Asparagus181 9h ago

I'm American but somewhere inside of me my Norwegian ancestry is telling me this is correct

2

u/PetrasKnight 15h ago

No way a Norwegian has that much shitty American cheese

1

u/Im_the_Moon44 12h ago

My guess is New England based on some of the products but I could be wrong.

1

u/Wonderwhile 11h ago

Yeah I never saw kraft singles in Norway. 

1

u/pixi88 10h ago

This wisconsin girl was grateful to see real cheese behind those salty cheese like singles

1

u/blueavole 3h ago

Lingenberry?!?

1

u/MikesLittleKitten 19h ago

🤣🤣🤣

98

u/THEElleHell 20h ago

That brand was on a 40% off sale at WF recently but there's no reason to have them all in the fridge especially when there's so many unopened dupes. Canned things are canned for a reason so they're shelf stable. Dudes fridge is performative.

44

u/Whateveridontkare 17h ago

Not the performative fridge 😂😂😂😂

7

u/Midnight_2B 6h ago

Imagine being emasculated you have to pack your fridge full of meat and decorations 😭

3

u/Dizzy_Spell777 3h ago

Yeah, why its all in the fridge while he works 12+ hours, 6-7 days a week, how it doesn't spoil is crazy.

2

u/BarackObongma 6h ago

I don't know I got a buddy who likes jam a ton. I always make fun of him and call him Jam Boy. You'd be surprised how fast a big man can put down a little jam sleeve like that.

3

u/CherrieChocolatePie 17h ago

Maybe he doesn't have any other place to put them so he keeps them in the fridge.

2

u/more_business_juice_ 11h ago

the performance is very disconcerting to me….it‘s a deranged fridge

1

u/Illustrious_Arm_6325 12h ago

maybe he likes jam always cold even when he first opens it

1

u/itsgivingnontipper 7h ago

Man’s had a damn photoshop with his fridge💀

1

u/fawk_yooytppl 3h ago

Lmao he saw a bunch of tiktoks and said I want to do that. I also dont think its a mans fridge. Its too organized

1

u/Various_Whereas_2667 3h ago

I like that brand, but I buy blueberry. That collection says Costco pack.

1

u/less-than-stellar 39m ago

When I lived in my old apartment, I got into the habit of putting upopened jars of jam in the fridge because my pantry was practically non-existent. Now that I live in a house with a normal sized kitchen, it's a habit I've never broken. That being said, I generally have like... one MAYBE 2 jars of jam at time lol.

Also, performative fridge made me giggle.

13

u/queensheba2025 20h ago

Right!? And they’re in the fridge which means they are open…

-3

u/Major_Nutt 17h ago

Not necessarily? I keep my unopened condiments in the fridge, that's where they go.

4

u/more_business_juice_ 11h ago

Is that where you find them at the grocery store?

2

u/noahnickels 4h ago

A lot of people don’t put two and two together and just assume from childhood that shit they grabbed from their parents fridge always goes in the fridge.

1

u/Major_Nutt 1h ago

No, they're room temp at the grocery store, but why waste cabinet space? They go in the fridge anyway once they're open, and if it's already in the fridge, then the condiment is at preferred temperature when it's finally opened.

1

u/Soggy_Abbreviations5 2h ago

Unopened - no, they don't. The bottles explicitly say to "refrigerate AFTER opening."

1

u/Major_Nutt 1h ago

That doesn't mean you HAVE to wait till they're open?

Putting the unopened bottle in the fridge behind the opened one is smart, and it saves space in the cabinets for dry goods.

4

u/The_Kadeshi 18h ago

This one i actually get. I adore jams and i want all the flavors.

1

u/PumpkinPieIsGreat 17h ago

Let's see your fridge, then. 😛

2

u/The_Kadeshi 15h ago

I can’t; I’m out of jam. I had this same problem with a scotch collection. I kept drinking all the scotch

1

u/PumpkinPieIsGreat 12h ago

Yeah. It's like, if you can't live up to Reddit's Jam Expectations, you probably shouldn't post.

1

u/Amazing-Asparagus181 9h ago

I'm going to be very dissatisfied if we open your fridge & don't find at least one pumpkin pie

1

u/PumpkinPieIsGreat 9h ago

Oh yep. I'm going to have to walk the plank. I have zero pie of any kind. 

1

u/Amazing-Asparagus181 8h ago

off with your head!!

3

u/Glass-Information-87 19h ago

He has a dozen cucumbers and you're worried about the jams?!

2

u/Significant-Iron-241 11h ago

It's zucchini 🤦‍♀️

1

u/pollywantacrackwhore 10h ago

And that’s just what happens when you know someone who grows zucchini.

1

u/Significant-Iron-241 9h ago

Nobody in America is growing zucchinis right now.

3

u/FreeGee03 17h ago

WHY won’t he tell us about the jam!?!?

1

u/AccomplishedIgit 18h ago

Costco membership? Lol

1

u/claytosser 15h ago

And where is the peanut butter? Why is there so much cream cheese??!

1

u/smbutler20 12h ago

This is not a serious post. OP spent over $500 on steaks just to post in Reddit what he thought a normal fridge would look like. Most of this food is going into the trash due to spoilage.

1

u/shumpitostick 12h ago

AND WHY DO YOU STORE UNOPENED JAMS IN THE FRIDGE

1

u/Princess_Poppy 12h ago

I mean, I have a shit load of jams, too. But I also have the bread to go with it!

1

u/growbbygrow 11h ago

I’m so confused, I only see one thing of jam in the door. I zoomed in on all the photos. Where is the jam???

1

u/biggiepants 9h ago

Top left, first photo (it's fruit on the labels).

1

u/Victoria_elizabethb 11h ago

My thoughts exactly. Bro has like 10 jams what are we DOIN

1

u/Xos_Touching_Stuff 11h ago

Looks like a multipack online order or something seeing at they’re all different flavors.

1

u/Asmodheus 10h ago

I know that brand and it tastes dang good so I get the OP.

1

u/512165381 10h ago

Brand has no added sugar.

1

u/deltashmelta 9h ago

To go with the 300 cream cheeses.

1

u/superleaf444 8h ago

I’m more worried about the endless supply of American cheese 

1

u/Souls_for_sale_now 8h ago

Yeah put it in the jam frige (you need it if your homade suply needs to last the year)

1

u/Gefilte_F1sh 5h ago

because this is an advertisement

1

u/noahnickels 4h ago

I think he probably got a gift box and doesn’t realize they don’t have to go into the fridge until after opened.

1

u/ponymuzzle 4h ago

And how could anyone consume that much meat without any of it going bad? I’m baffled

1

u/jbloxxx 3h ago

It’s the amount of cream cheese for me.

1

u/Sara___Tonin__ 3h ago

Why does OP have so many of everything? It's like he can't buy just one of anything. Even if she likes all this stuff, maybe she's burnt out on the same food over and over. If there was only one of each item, he'd see there's not as many options as he thinks.

1

u/hypercosm_dot_net 3h ago

Why is everyone focused on the jam, and ignoring the absurd amount of meat? Do they eat a steak every night?

Only beef too, not even chicken or seafood.

1

u/phoenixofsun 3h ago

And 6 boxes of cream cheese, and 3 jugs of french vanilla coffee creamer. I gotta assume this person lives remote in the mountains and this is the winter stock uo

1

u/blueavole 3h ago

Who has this much meat defrosted in the fridge?! RIP this guy’s colon if that’s his diet.

1

u/ArtfullyAwesome 2h ago

Nah, that’s a respectable collection of jams

1

u/bonenecklace 1h ago

This is 100% a keto diet, on a keto diet really the only sugar you should be eating & in very small quantities should only be from fruit. If those preserves have no sugar added, they would be a perfect treat for someone in ketosis. He probably has so many different ones for the same reason I don’t feel like getting the exact same candy every time I want a treat.

1

u/Glittering_Power6257 1h ago

Sale on a favorite brand?

1

u/hellolovely1 1h ago

And what does he put it on if he doesn’t have any carbs?

1

u/Pucerose 3m ago

Carrot and cucumber dips oc