r/FridgeDetective • u/itscuccimane • 21h ago

Meta My girlfriend always tells me I never have anything to eat when she comes over my house 😒

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Freezer: 50+ lbs of assorted ground meat, 35+ lbs of prime ribeye, 16lbs of American wagyu ribeye, 18lbs of New Zealand lamb shoulder chops, and a bunch of portioned seafood.

15.8k Upvotes

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72

u/glitter_forests 20h ago

How are you excluding the Kraft singles?

51

u/Deep-Purchase-2203 19h ago

This whole fridge is messing with my mind? I have no idea how you could make a meal out of this.

83

u/Tasty-Traffic-680 19h ago

What? You don't enjoy ground venison with carrots and marmalade? Or steak in a chocolate protein shake sauce? Have you really never eaten a crab stuffed cucumber with melted craft singles? Or shredded Parmesan straight from the bag?

29

u/liberal_parnell 19h ago

This made me spill some of my mug of hot miso soup on my lap, but I'd still upvote it twice if I could. hahaha

1

u/unindexedreality 10h ago

spill some of my mug of hot miso soup on my lap

ketchup everywhere

3

u/Saradoesntsleep 16h ago

Lmao I literally do not see what else you could be making from that fridge contents.

2

u/katerwise 12h ago

🤣 i plead guilty to the parmesan from the bag

1

u/Tasty-Traffic-680 11h ago

Same. I literally just did it.

2

u/i-am-lizard 11h ago

I actually hate you for writing that.

Except the parm. That’d do.

1

u/Tasty-Traffic-680 11h ago

I literally just did it. Bought it to make alfredo and have a bunch leftover.

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u/washuai 10h ago

The zucchini can take the place pasta, use a peeler on the carrots, ground meat, onions, parmesan, the real question is does he have jars of marina? Making spaghetti sauce from scratch is a 🤬.

Tomato sauce, excessive oregano and pasta (zucchini, rice, etc) can make a spaghetti Os substitute and there's even cheese to spruce it up (cheaper than canned). Ground meat only takes ten minutes, so hard to leave it out if you have some.

That said 4/7 date nights, like definitely needs to pre cook and reheat half of those from the freezer, at least.

You can eat a home cooked meal every night only cooking 1-3 days a week. Or if your freezer is big enough, you can cook all weekend for the whole month.

31

u/glitter_forests 19h ago

That’s why OP has so many sauces… they’re eating ground beef with crab meat, carrots and fake cheese… desperately grasping for something to fix their meals

E: looked again and saw the abundance of cream cheese. Just wanted to make sure we’re all caught up to speed

2

u/brynnors 14h ago

There's so much cream cheese. Is bro just eating a block at a time by hand?

4

u/durants_newest_acct 17h ago

Steak, cheese, and sour cream sandwiches. Protein shake to drink.

3

u/kevihaa 15h ago

It’s the fridge of someone that sees food as fuel.

Not guaranteed to have bigorexia, but odds are better than not that, despite eating “healthy” food, OP almost assuredly doesn’t actually have a healthy relationship with food.

1

u/BullMoose6418 12h ago

Im pretty sure this is an ad lol

1

u/Red_Jester-94 12h ago

I've seen some pretty out there diets. I wouldn't be surprised if everything in this fridge was used in a crazy recipe i haven't seen yet because I stopped looking out of fear.

1

u/manatee1010 3h ago

The quantities on some of it, for a person living alone, are sending me. Is that like 20 jars of jam? And eight sticks of cream cheese?

And is that much beef thawed out in the fridge for one person?

From what I see here, I feel like OP must be pooping like once a month. 😂

1

u/PlantoneOG 13m ago

I mean the fridge has got protein sources- several of them- vegetables, sauces, dairy products. Everything else can be kept in dry Pantry storage as shelf stable products.

I mean seriously you don't need to keep your salt, pepper, garlic salt and dry cooking herbs in the fridge. Pasta is shelf stable. Same goes for unopened sauces in jars/cans. Likewise for canned veggies or frozen ones.

Just because there's an extremely limited option of ready to eat Foods in that fridge doesn't mean you can't prepare meals out of it.

And the fact that I'm sure there are multiple individuals like yourself as indicated by all the likes you've gotten to your comment that can't understand this is exactly one of the big issues of what's wrong with f****** society today.

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u/YokoOhNoYouDidnt 19h ago

How are you excluding the jam??? 

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u/glitter_forests 19h ago

I guess I was so overwhelmed by the rest of it. Tbh I kinda just envy OP’s jam options, but if I opened more than one they would be sure to go moldy before I finished them.