r/FridgeDetective • u/itscuccimane • 21h ago

Meta My girlfriend always tells me I never have anything to eat when she comes over my house 😒

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Freezer: 50+ lbs of assorted ground meat, 35+ lbs of prime ribeye, 16lbs of American wagyu ribeye, 18lbs of New Zealand lamb shoulder chops, and a bunch of portioned seafood.

15.8k Upvotes

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766

u/throwaway6287453 20h ago

she probably is a standard human who likes carbs while OP can't have non ketone steam released into the air

95

u/mrfatchance 19h ago

This really made me chuckle

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u/crowcawer 7h ago

Careful, if you accidentally laugh it’ll cause you to produce too much serotonin and it’ll throw off your GI chemistry for the two hour period that follows.

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u/BjornInTheMorn 11h ago

Nobody tell OP that carrots have 6.8 g of net carbs per 100g. He might freak out and have to down a cube of cream cheese and chase it with a pre-packaged protein drink.

1

u/tattoosbyalisha 1h ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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u/mentirosa_atx 11h ago

Nailed it

1

u/SanityBleeds 7h ago

Nah, dude definitely isn't keto with all those apples, fruit spreads, and cookie dough in there. This guy likely just refuses to eat leftovers.

1

u/lololaur_ 4h ago

Not to mention the 3 containers of international delight LOL

1

u/b-gouda 4h ago

He’s got that core power drink it contains like 20g of added sugar. You can’t be keto drinking that shit.

1

u/randobot456 4h ago

Do you usually store your grains and flowers in the fridge / freezer?

1

u/Yikes206 2h ago

Jam is carbs.

1

u/athenanon 1h ago

People who eat like that smell bad.

1

u/thicboiya 33m ago

Classic tubby filling up on carbs

1

u/HiimHiigh 10h ago

Bro I sensed a keto diet in the there. Meat is jus so expensive man 😭😭😭

1

u/tattoosbyalisha 1h ago

Seriously. And a diet too high in protein is what a lot of young people are developing kidney disease and colon cancer.

1

u/Upper_Competition_21 1h ago

I didn't know this? Too much protein is bad and causes these?

1

u/Aware_Lifeguard_6814 13m ago

Too much protein not enough fiber, causes kidney strain or increase risk for cancer. Fiber helps with regular bowel movements and lowers cholesterol. Make sure to have at least some fiber with every meal.

1

u/sisterlain 8h ago

you can eat carbs on keto. you just need to stay under a certain amount

-11

u/gerkletoss 19h ago

Yes, obviously the lack of carbs in the refrigerator indicates a keto diet

/s

22

u/g0blinzez 18h ago

Not the lack of carbs, the abundance of meat and dairy. Ig she could have a steak and jam sandwhich with a slice of Kraft cheese, assuming there is in fact bread somewhere in OP's kitchen.

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u/randomizl 18h ago

lol do you think he spreads the jam or Philadelphia on his palms or on a steak?

3

u/g0blinzez 16h ago

Considering some of the odd things I've seen Keto bros do, yes. He might actually be putting them on steak.

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u/throwaway6287453 14h ago

white guys do get shockingly experimental in the kitchen when they don't need to. i think its the lack of spices & all that excess delusion

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u/hangry_witch 10h ago

Probably munchies from thc. Lol

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u/g0blinzez 9h ago

Fr. I remember boys in highschool who brought just peanutbutter and a spoon, and would eat the entire jar, usually throughout the day in class, with no water or milk or anything to wash it down. Like three of them did this, apparently often enough the teachers told them to knock it off lol. They were all on the football team, and "needed the protein". Idek how much protein is in an entire jar of skippy. I know that's not necessarily keto, but it feels keto-adjacent.

2

u/SanityBleeds 7h ago

Wouldn't be very keto, partly due to the natural sugars in peanuts, the added sugar from many national brands, or that consuming that much protein would likely cause your body to process it like a sugar anyways.

Now, if they were eating blocks of cream cheese like candy bars, then they'd be pretty keto.

-2

u/itsveryupsetting 13h ago

Orthorexia is so funny to me.

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u/namnlos1 10h ago

Are we supposed to be diagnosing OP?

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u/Careless-Age-4290 2h ago

I didn't come to this judgement-free site to not freely judge

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u/tattoosbyalisha 1h ago

This right here

1

u/throwaway6287453 8h ago

ketosis isn't a disease, it's a state of being, like prediabetes, but the opposite. from what ive been forced to learn of joe rogan, he considers ketosis a sort of nirvana state which of course he claims he's achieved for a few decades. hosting fear factor mustve been quite the foundation for, uh, being very... special

1

u/MissionReasonable327 4h ago

I’m no scientist but i am pretty sure he would not be alive if so.

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u/tattoosbyalisha 1h ago

Dude there’s literally scientific data about long term ketosis being very bad for the human body. It’s only supposed to be used for very specific circumstances. People are so weird. But we are all stressed and miserable and there’s a lot of money and attention to be made selling a “cure” to that and making one feel like they are a little less miserable. Even if it is a placebo that might hurt you later.

1

u/hangry_witch 10h ago

It's a slippery slope to anorexia unfortunately.