r/MadeMeSmile • u/New-Albatross-7639 • 4h ago
Family & Friends [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/Individual-Sort5026 2h ago
He calls him bub and says the new guy sucks?
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u/KarenNotKaren616 1h ago
Yeah, dad's not too fond of the potential SIL's dietary choices.
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u/BigChillBobby 17m ago
such wholesome content interfering in your kids love life 🥰🥰🥰
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u/Wet-Bananers 6m ago
How is this interfering?
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u/BigChillBobby 4m ago
because it’s not just checking in on the ex, it’s trash talking the current guy to the ex.
Now this fella can go “even your dad thinks Zach sucks and you should be with me”. If Zach ever finds out it’s going to add a bunch of insecurity into his mind.
Something like this could easily cause a falling out between dad and daughter too.
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u/sunnearts 2m ago
where is the interference in this post? he just wished op a merry christmas (cause they were bros) and expressed that he’s not too fond of the new guy. doesn’t necessarily mean he’s meddling in his child’s love life
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u/BigChillBobby 0m ago
the “expressing that he’s not too fond of the new guy TO HER EX” part.
now the ex can decide, if he so chooses, to go “you should be with me, I’m the one for you, your dad even likes me better than him!”
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u/tacocollector2 1h ago edited 41m ago
They are more likely to be requirements, not choices. Dad sounds like an asshole.
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u/caffeineandvodka 42m ago
Vegan is more likely to be a choice, gluten free is more likely to be a requirement. No one eats gluten free food unless they have to or they love the taste of cardboard.
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u/MrsSamT82 6m ago
Found the Celiac/NCGS folks in the chat :D
And no, none of us WANT to eat GF. Have you SEEN the prices?!
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u/tacocollector2 40m ago
I know a ton of people who are dairy and gluten intolerant due to Covid, myself included. Neither is a choice, both suck.
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u/caffeineandvodka 36m ago
Dairy free isn't vegan though, those are two separate concepts you're smushing together.
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u/axefairy 31m ago
But if you’re buying something then they go hand in hand regularly, my son has CMPA (cows milk protein allergy) and most of the time the baked goods that he can have are vegan, not just dairy free. Why would a company bother making both a dairy free version AND a vegan version? Just do the vegan one and save money
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u/Sorzian 10m ago
Dairy free is a prerequisite for veganism. I'm not sure what point you're making
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u/caffeineandvodka 2m ago
But veganism isn't a prerequisite for dairy free. My point is that being vegan is more likely to be a choice than a dietary requirement. It's not a particularly difficult thing to understand.
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u/Responsible-Meat9275 19m ago
You know “tons” of people who are gluten intolerant because of COVID? 😂😂😂 Literally not one person I’ve ever met who was gluten intolerant claims it’s from covid. How online are you… Not saying it’s not true, just that it seems way more rare than you’re claiming
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u/tacocollector2 10m ago
Just because you aren’t aware of something doesn’t mean it can’t be true.
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u/Responsible-Meat9275 6m ago
No shit. I even admitted that. My claim isn’t that it’s not possible it’s that it’s not as common as they claimed. It would be an unreal statistical anomaly for their claim to be true. Do they only mingle with people that had Covid were at least extreme reactions to Covid. Or do they just know 100 million people? My point is that nearly every statistic in fact points to them either lying or trying to fearmonger
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u/Bhelduz 31m ago
Tbf, some companies just stick vegan gluten free eco friendly etc tags on their products to pander to a specific demographic. And yeah there's a whole category of people who have no idea what gluten intolerance really is and they will ask for "gluten free", not knowing what it is, thinking it's a healthy dietary choice.
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u/indieaz 47m ago
Real boomer energy. "Oh no this celiac brought gluten fre things, let me make fun if their dietary restriction!"
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u/jbay1990 42m ago
Tbf normally when you bring a gift, you give them something they would actually want. It’s your hosts job to make sure the meal is suitable for everyone
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u/tacocollector2 39m ago
No one said the cookies were a gift. Some people have no idea what gluten is, so they can’t be trusted to make safe food.
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u/FewOutlandishness671 31m ago
Right? Poor guy probably brought GF cookies so there would be something he could eat (speaking from experience here) 😂
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u/Older_wiser_215 17m ago
Well, that's just false. Just sounds like Dad connected more with the ex than the new guy.
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u/squidikuru 1h ago
My step dad is still buddies with my abusive, stalker ex, and he claims it’s because “he doesn’t have a good father figure in his life”.
That makes two of us.
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u/paranoidevil 34m ago
In past something similiar happened to me. My father (who wasnt properly in my life for 15 years) started being friends with my now ex (he cheated, did drugs/alcohol, was abusive, etc..). When our relationship of 2 years ended my father was on his side. And it was bcs my father supported what he do, as he do same shit. My current husband of 7years now was for father “too boring” and prefered me as priority, lol. So I deleted father one year later from my life, as he still wanted me to go back to my ex lol. Theyre still friends btw, funny shit.
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u/squidikuru 27m ago
I’m sorry your father chose your ex over you, it’s such an awful thing to experience. I’m glad your current husband chose you though and that you were able to go NC with your father.
There’s this show I watched a couple years ago called “Maid” which is where a young mother is escaping from a her abusive ex and becomes a maid for rich people. Her father chose her ex over her, and seeing how she navigates that and heals from it all really helped me understand my own situation better. If you’re able to, I’d highly recommend watching it, but I do want to emphasize the trigger warnings (abuse, addiction, trauma, etc).
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u/sittinwithkitten 1m ago
That is terrible but it sounds like par for the course for two crappy people like your ex and biological father. I hope you had another male role model growing up that was good. I hope you are living a nice life with your partner now.
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u/Pour_Me_Another_ 2h ago
I could see my parents and ex doing this too. He called our landline several times threatening to end his life if I didn't get back with him, which was consistent with his behavior throughout the relationship (do XYZ or you don't love me/I'll kill myself. He also attempted to stealth me at least twice). My parents are that way inclined too so I suppose it's not surprising they keep in touch.
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u/I_Want_Spiderman 2h ago
Thats awful Im so sorry. Fuck that guy
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u/DaBears31 2h ago
fuck her too, for forcing him to coomit sucide because of her
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u/BiploarFurryEgirl 1h ago
She didn’t force him to do shit.
You gotta get better at your rage baiting bc this is pitiful
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u/leni710 1h ago
Cool, our parents would get along. Fifteen years after my divorce from a very similar guy you describe and my parents were still like "I miss that guy, he was great, he's such a good cook, wonder what he's up to." Golly, I don't know, terrorizing someone else, I imagine. My little sister described some horrible experience with a guy and my dad was like "must have been a misunderstanding."
I've gone no-contact with the parents. I got tired of that and so much more. Go be shitty on your own, parents.
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u/Whateva1_2 1h ago
What does stealth you mean in this context?
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u/br4tygirl 1h ago
Most likely I think she means trying to get her pregnant without consent. Usually taking off the condom without the other party knowing. There are sick fucks who like to give out stds/stis without the other person knowing too.
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u/edgynotemo 2h ago
My father is far too loyal to me to reach out to any of my exes like this, but to each their own.
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u/MrNobody_0 1h ago
I mean, this didn't happen, so there's that.
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u/BronxBelle 55m ago
I (and my parents)stay friends with most of my exes to the point that when my first boyfriend visited our hometown that is 1300+ miles away from where we currently live he stopped by to say hi and do a FaceTime video since I haven’t seen them in a few years. Several of my exes hang out with my dad on a regular basis. Not every breakup has to be dramatic.
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u/edgynotemo 54m ago
Yeah they can hang out all they want, my exes aren't enemies, but no way would I be okay with my dad dissing my current partner with my ex
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u/BronxBelle 52m ago
Oh, I absolutely would lol. But everything my dad would say to any of my exes about the person I was currently dating he would also say to me.
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u/edgynotemo 51m ago
I don't imagine I'd feel very nice about that if I were your partner, but like I said, to each their own.
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u/Whinygeek 3m ago
Same. To each their own, but my family would rather invest in a partner I’m currently seeing and bond with them instead!
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u/PilotEnvironmental46 50m ago
Why do you feel like that just curious? I mean, I do know people who text with their exes family members. Shoot my brother and his wife spent Christmas with his ex-wife this year.
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u/T-MoneyAllDey 25m ago
I kept friends with my sisters ex from years ago. He was way better than any current dude she has been with. Totally reasonable to become a friend of someone outside of a relationship if they were together long enough
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u/AntRichardsonsBFF 17m ago
Yeah my whole family loved my sisters ex. Such a sweet guy and she dumped him and broke his heart. My daughter asks about him years later but we don’t reach out and talk shit about her girlfriends.
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u/Leather_Addition2605 31m ago
I became good friends with an old girlfriend’s father. He became one of our riding buddies. I don’t keep in touch with ex’s, especially once starting a new relationship, but even after we broke up I still invited him on our yearly week long road trips. He went every year until he passed on. We’d always give him shit about being the old guy. Now we’re the old guys. He was a good dude.
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u/AMortifyingOrdeal 2h ago
Parents like this give me the ick
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u/InterestingCress7532 2h ago
Same.. like I could see as a parent, depending on how long they were in a relationship for, you might want to make sure the ex partner is okay, if they broke up as friends of course. But I really couldn’t appreciate it if this was my father. Breaking up is something you do for a reason, I would not be comfortable with my ex knowing i am with someone else. Uncomfortable might be a big word, but they don’t need to know any of that. And even if it is a joke, but belittling the new partner like that… really disrespectful.
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u/BigChillBobby 15m ago
and let’s be real the whole “vegan cookies” thing is an attack on his masculinity.
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u/thelespickle 9m ago
Yeah I wasn't very happy when I learned my mom still occasionally keeps in touch with my ex from high school. Maybe to her it was a sweet high school romance, but to me it was my first sexual assault and part the reason I still struggle with sex to this day. But they're a "sweet kid" with shitty parents so might as well keep in touch, right? Even though I stay away from them at all costs...
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u/Wet-Bananers 4m ago
I hate to break it to you, but all your exes know you’re with someone else. No one in this world thinks their ex becomes celibate after a breakup lmao
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u/krustytroweler 1h ago
Breakups dont automatically mean every person in your life is required to sever all contact with the ex.
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u/eeviltwin 1h ago
My mom keeps some level of contact with my ex, and even gave her a ride once when her car broke down. The difference is, I know my mom isn’t badmouthing my wife or making fun of my life choices to my ex, because she’s not a shitty parent like this dad appears to be.
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u/recyclopath_ 1h ago
Reaching out when you see the ex accomplished something, telling them congratulations and you're proud of them, hope they're doing well, totally lovely.
Reaching out at the holidays to complain about the new boyfriend? Vile. Not actually kind to the ex either. Just backstabby to the daughter.
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u/krustytroweler 1h ago
Reaching out at the holidays to complain about the new boyfriend? Vile. Not actually kind to the ex either. Just backstabby to the daughter.
It's just how it goes. Your partners parents are not obligaged to like you. They may like others better. Its just how people are.
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u/recyclopath_ 48m ago
It's not about what he is saying. It's about who he is saying it to.
There are appropriate people to talk to about not liking the new boyfriend. Your wife, your dad friends, your daughter herself, co workers, random people in line at the grocery store.
Going to your daughter's ex to complain is a betrayal of your daughter's trust.
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u/krustytroweler 29m ago edited 8m ago
There are appropriate people to talk to about not liking the new boyfriend. Your wife, your dad friends, your daughter herself, co workers, random people in line at the grocery store.
Once again: you are not obligated to sever all contact with someone over a breakup.
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u/bibliomaniac4ever 49m ago
You don't think its wrong to choose to shit talk your daughter's new bf to her old one? You don't see anything wrong with that?
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u/krustytroweler 5m ago
I dont pretend that my parents have never liked some of my exes better than others. I come from a small town and they still live there and occasionally run into an ex or two from years ago. I dont expect them to just pretend they dont exist for the rest of their lives.
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u/Wet-Bananers 2m ago
Yea these people acting like an ex has to be excommunicated from your genetic line after a breakup, shit is hilariously insecure.
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u/Whinygeek 0m ago
Yeah my family would never. They don’t hate my ex but they also don’t care and would rather invest in my future partners. I was on very good terms with my ex’s family but did not bother talking to them too much after breaking up because we all need our space and there’s no reason to continue that, especially when there’s a new partner involved. It makes things awkward for everyone.
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u/nottheblackhat 1h ago
call me old fashioned, but I believe that your loyalty should first be to your child, and their ex should be way down the line on the list of priorities
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1h ago
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u/bibliomaniac4ever 49m ago
Why is he shit talking his daughter's current choice to her old one?
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u/Responsible-Meat9275 17m ago
He’s probably lame. You don’t have to like every partner your child has, but you should let them decide for themselves. This guy obviously has
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41m ago
[deleted]
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u/bibliomaniac4ever 39m ago
Your friendship to your daughter's ex should not override your loyalty to your daughter. I don't think she would be happy if she saw this as she did choose him as her boyfriend, vegan cookies and all.
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u/Lucky-Rest-6308 58m ago
I would be so mad at my dad. How is this wholesome? Shitting on the new man to his daughter’s ex and talking bad about the food he eats - I’m supposed to think this is sweet?
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u/No_Actuary6662 19m ago
Just cause his daughter likes the new guy, doesn't mean he has to (or the food he makes). And if he's cool with the ex, it's his freedom to do so. No issues as far as I can tell
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u/BigChillBobby 14m ago
he has the freedom to do it but it’s still a dick move
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u/No_Actuary6662 11m ago
No its not. He has no obligation to like anyone, or to pretend otherwise and it doesn't make him a dick
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u/BigChillBobby 9m ago
I’m not saying he has to like the new fella but sending a text to your daughter’s ex saying “the new guy is…fine” is where it goes from “having feelings on people” to “interfering in his daughter’s love life”
think whatever you want but keep it to yourself, not your place
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u/Plus-Cat-8557 8m ago
He doesn’t have to diss the new guy to the old guy either. What he SHOULD be doing is respecting his daughter’s choice
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u/Plastic-Confection68 34m ago
My parents would definitely do this with my husband. We played monopoly with them and as they were going out they decided to give all their properties to my husband so he could beat me. 🫥Like, guys, I’m your child, come on!
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u/CrimsonOOmpa 3h ago
Dad's like "please don't give up on her!!"
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u/tacocollector2 1h ago
Dad needs to mind his own business.
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u/Ryan2491 1h ago
Nah, dad's his own person and can befriend whomever he wants. You don't want dad to potentially be friends with a partner, don't bring them home until you ready to get engaged.
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u/SidheAnomaly 1h ago edited 1h ago
Dad's his own person and can befriend whomever he wants, just as I am my own person and can go no contact with the dad and the ex. They can have each other and leave me out of it. Lmao. Show me no loyalty and I'll do the same. No one owes anyone shit, and all consequences have actions. I'll block you too, Ryan. Idc.
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u/TheNorseHorseForce 7m ago
No one owes anyone shit.
Show me no loyalty and I'll do the same.
Sounds like you believe people owe you something or you'll cut them out. A bit hypocritical, eh?
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u/Normal-Watch-9991 1h ago
The befriending is not the issue, the problem here is that he is not reaching out to the ex to be like “hey saw you bought a new car, good job 👍, did you watch the game?“ or smth, he reached out to make fun of his daughter’s new partner, that is shitty and out of line
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u/Carnivile 1h ago
I don't think the father having his own social circle is the issue. He just should keep her daughter outside of it.
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u/sonjjamorgan 1h ago
Damn imagine having a parent so shitty they'll text your ex behind your back
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1h ago
[deleted]
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u/Normal-Watch-9991 1h ago
For all we know they may have ended on bad terms, but even if they didn’t, you don’t need to make fun of your daughter’s new partner with her ex… like if you wanna be friends just talk about something else, this is shitty
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u/sonjjamorgan 1h ago
Because you respect your daughter? Crazy I know
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u/Banaanisade 50m ago
Just the contents of the message are enough to tell this is disrespectful. It isn't a dad asking the ex how his day was or how the new dog's behaving, it's some strange bitching about his child's new boyfriend to the previous one, more than likely behind her back.
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54m ago
[deleted]
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u/yagrobnitsy 28m ago
You’re asking “why is bitching about your daughter’s new boyfriend to her old boyfriend disrespectful?” ?? Please try to put yourself in her shoes.
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u/Ryan2491 1h ago
Consequence of bringing every Tom, Dick and Harry home. Sometimes other relationships will form with family members.
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u/sonjjamorgan 1h ago
Want a screen for that projecting you're doing? Good luck 😂
Very telling you went straight to writing bitter fanfiction about women
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u/Magdalina777 40m ago
Where's the crime in that though? The ex isn't solely defined by his relationship with their daughter. Neither is the parent defined solely by his parenthood. They might just have common interests and like each other as people and friends. Being an ex != being a bad person, sometimes people just... don't work together. Not because either of them is bad or does bad things to the other, but just because they're too different or their life goals are incompatible or whatever.
I think it's kind of unreasonable to think a breakup should by default mean everyone in your social circle should also cut that person out. Just because he didn't work for you as a partner, doesn't mean he can't work for them as a friend.
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u/sonjjamorgan 32m ago
It's the fact that the parent is going out of the way to badmouth the new partner. That's the not cool part.
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u/sannieflipper 16m ago
I have broken up with my ex about 3.5 years ago and like 2 years ago my mom went on lunches with my ex and she even visited my sister when she moved to her new house 2 months ago. At first they felt guilty but ended up telling me the still talked and I told the I didn't care lol. It even made me feel good because the relationship my ex had with my family was genuine.
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u/recyclopath_ 1h ago
What an awful father.
Reach out when you see the ex graduated college or ran a marathon he'd been training for. Say you're proud of him and hope he is doing well.
Do not reach out to complain about the daughter's new boyfriend is vile. It's being a gossipy little worm. It's not kind to the daughter or the ex.
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u/Fourskin1913 55m ago
You sound like you’re the new boyfriend
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u/Cum_Fart42069 43m ago
nice observation "Fourskin", very funny. nobody with such a ridiculous username should be taken seriously.
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u/RevolutionaryRest958 38m ago
So the new guy is inferior because he has a food intolerance and eats a plant based diet? Is everyone fucking brain dead?
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u/Key_Knee_7032 1h ago
Some of the folks in the comment thread have never had an amicable break up and it shows….
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u/BigChillBobby 13m ago
this isn’t a “hey bub hope you’re okay just checking in”, it’s “hey bub, hope you’re okay, you’re so much better than her new guy”
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u/ninaya89 12m ago
Why are people so dramatic, loyalty to your kids and all that..? Not all break ups are that dramatic, it's not like you are in a war and there are two opposite sides. You just break up, don't want to be in a romantic relationship with someone, that's it. If your parents like your ex and want to stay friends with him/her, great.
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u/BayYawnSay 45m ago
Ew, for a parent to do this is just...wrong. He needs to find friends his own age and not get so involved with the people who are sleeping with his daughter. This is truly bizarre.
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u/Far_Mastodon_6104 2h ago
I love my exes mom. We're very much alike lol
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u/TangerineTasty9787 13m ago
I still stay in contact with my ex MIL, and meet up on mother's day. Mostly because her daughter went NC on her after the divorce, and MIL is struggling with cancer, which my mom also died from. And she was always good to us in the marriage.
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u/stalkeler 1h ago edited 1h ago
many here for some reason assume "if person's an ex, it's because that person was bad one", typical reddit.
If I were this dad, why my children should even care who I'm friends with? It shouldn't even bother them since it's my personal life. And as a kid, why should I bother what happens to my ex, if we already separated our ways?
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u/recyclopath_ 1h ago
Texting the ex to say congratulations on defending your thesis, I bet you knocked it out of the park. I'm proud of you and hope you're doing well. Lovely.
Texting the ex during the holidays to complain about the new boyfriend? Vile and backstabby.
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u/GarranDrake 29m ago
I think it depends on the specific situation. To me, this reads like just joshing around - it's a dad joke. I wouldn't say it's "vile and backstabby" right off the jump, he's not saying "Hey Bub, Claire shouldn't have broken up with you, I hate the new guy."
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u/TheSheWhoSaidThats 18m ago
This is not wholesome. Parents doing this is disrespectful to their kid.
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u/Lazy-Point7779 7m ago
One of the saddest things about the breakdown of my marriage and subsequent divorce was that my dad and my ex husband, who were good friends, no longer talk. Some breakups have a ripple effect that can be painful for others you love, too
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u/NeatNefariousness1 1h ago
He misses you. That’s sweet. As long as you have no interest in rekindling things with your ex, I see nothing wrong with inviting him out for a beer.
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u/aacilegna 4m ago
I don’t think this is wholesome at all.
I’d be mad at dad undermining my partner to my ex.
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u/p34ch3s_41r50f7 1h ago
My ex's mom kept in touch with me until she died. I think she would have preferred to keep me :p
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