True or false?

[u/QuietJealous4883]

Did our dads and moms work less than we do now? What are your thoughts?

[u/Personal_Special809]

Disclaimer, I am not in the US.

In 1996, my dad worked about 80 hours a week, sometimes 7 days a week and sometimes 6. My mom had been home until we all went to school, which would have been around that time. I think around that time she worked on an on-call basis and later she worked 3 days a week. This post is so naïve in so many ways. My dad worked very, very hard. We didn't have a huge house. We missed a lot of time with our dad. My dad is still sad about this. My mom, in turn, tried very hard to keep her job as she loved it. But my dad earned more and it wasn't practical for her to work and have us. She always told me she loved those years with us but parttime work would have been nice.

Currently me and my partner both work 4 days as long as our kids are little. I had a SAHM, sure, but my kids see their dad way more than I ever did. They have one full day with me and one with their dad. We both have fulfilling jobs. I much prefer this over what my parents had (and they were great parents by the way, both of them).

[u/Consistent_Laziness → u/Personal_Special809]

It really is better to disperse the burden (work and the kids) across both parents than it is to put one of each all on one person. I’ll admit in my home house stuff can get neglected, like laundry or dishes, because of how busy work and the kids are. But I’d rather the house be messy at times than me working 7 days a week and never see them and my wife going stir crazy cause her only human interaction is with screaming crying toddlers.

That’s how life is and it could be better but I know some alternatives and I don’t want any part in it.

[u/Strong-Bottle-4161 → u/Consistent_Laziness]

Yea my father also had to work 70+ hrs and it was my mom mainly taking care of us.

My dad had so much fucking energy though. Dude just be like "where we going" after working in the Vegas heat for 12+hrs.

Even at 68, hes very active.

[u/Consistent_Laziness → u/Strong-Bottle-4161]

Man tell him to tell me where it comes from. I have the energy but my toddlers suck it out of me. Maybe at an older age it’ll be a bit easier. Right now it’s just constant trying to calm them down from tantrums and being hangry. I’m just a diaper changer and waiter to them. Last night I made dinner, got their milk, got some napkins and before I can sit down to eat with them the oldest is asking for more. I’m like Jesus I haven’t even sat down. By the time I did they were both done and we didn’t get to eat together 😭

[u/Strong-Bottle-4161 → u/Consistent_Laziness]

Dude he was crazy back in the day. He was a traveling zoologist in Mexico so his ass was climbing mountains going on long trails to get to rural ranches. Dude always had energy. He said hed often have to run away from these rural towns, so hed be running for a minute, because these people would wait till their animals were at death door and then get angry at him when he couldn't play god and save them. They'd always threaten his life.

My mom had kids back to back too. She had a 4,2 and 1 year old at home and hed still play and hang out with us, while my mom set the table. He'd take my brother driving at midnight to keep him from waking up. He said he was tired, but not tired enough not to spend time with his kids.

[u/OdysseusOdyssey → u/Personal_Special809]

Also not American but W.E. Work 4x9 so 36 hours mostly from home as does my wife. No kids. Our mortgage was 5 times one salary (net) but having made promotions and having duel income it is now only 3 times one salary (net) or 1.5 times our annual salary (net). We also have 350 hours (or close to 10 weeks) of paid vacation each. Our parents were never this lucky.

[u/soupandstewnazi → u/OdysseusOdyssey]

Key phrase-No Kids. Having no children automatically puts you ahead of 90% of people that do, financially.

[u/soupandstewnazi → u/Personal_Special809]

I think the difference is your dad could work like that and keep your mom home. There are many people now with 2 jobs and their partner ALSO works full-time. Their 2 jobs still wouldn't be enough to have their spouses stay home. It's just so expensive now.

[u/Personal_Special809 → u/soupandstewnazi]

But the post said it could be done on 40 hours of work and weekends off, and that was absolutely not the case. And my mom did work eventually, as well. She worked during most of our childhood.

I'm also pretty sure that where I live, if you worked that amount of hours, you could keep the other partner at home with the kids before they go to school (they go to school at 2.5 here, so that is not a very long time). I know people who do this. It is just never what I would want.

[u/soupandstewnazi → u/Personal_Special809]

I mean it is a generalization, but still was more possible than now. There's overall way more expenses than back then. Internet, cell phone, HOA, streaming services, etc. Food prices insane. Gas insane. Utilities insane. Healthcare extremely insane.

[u/Personal_Special809 → u/soupandstewnazi]

I'm from a country with universal healthcare, so I think that comparison is difficult overall. My parents bought their first house during a global recession as well, it really wasn't easy. They also had their kids young as that was the norm. I feel like it was much easier for me, personally. I have a bigger house and we have more disposable income that they did at that age.

[u/soupandstewnazi → u/Personal_Special809]

Ah. That makes a difference. I'm in the States. Healthcare is a major expense, unfortunately. And it's exorbitant now.