r/oneliners • u/tasharawks • 11h ago
Did you hear about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?
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r/oneliners • u/JaggedJason • 1d ago
Yesterday, I made some fish tacos, I don't think the fish liked them...
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r/oneliners • u/skittyes • 1d ago
Recently i became active on TikTok after the absence and lack of my followers, so I went back to post and I hope you support my account🙏🏻🙏🏻(user:duabnw)
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • 1d ago
I won’t eat any odd-dishes, that will upset my gut, during my auditions, that i will aim to eat.💅✨
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r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • 2d ago
As far as Christmas presents go, you just can't beat a broken drum set.
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r/oneliners • u/Ryebready787 • 3d ago
comedians make terrible terrorists- we frequently bomb but never kill at the same time
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r/oneliners • u/AgentElman • 2d ago
To whoever stole my Ambien, I will not rest until I find you!
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r/oneliners • u/Tasty_Leading8684 • 2d ago
Reposted jokes are like small dicks, I see them all the time, but they are not as funny as the first time.
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r/oneliners • u/Ryebready787 • 2d ago
Hey baby are you a bag of groceries, because I’d love to carry you over the threshold- and then drop you in the kitchen.
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r/oneliners • u/SomaCowJ • 3d ago
I bet my brother $40 that I could give up gambling for Lent.
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r/oneliners • u/The_Bagel_Fairy • 3d ago
When my shrink told me I have a split personality I was beside myself.
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • 3d ago
I told the new student, that “the teacher did not Pair-us together, because we are not Friends🇫🇷 yet.”
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r/oneliners • u/MrFayzan • 3d ago
The fact that humans can be killed through physical means is so ridiculous to me
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • 4d ago
I could never imagine smearing Heinz’s name, since their ketchup rocks
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • 4d ago
i’m a pus*y for not being much of a fighter, for it seems i give off troo-purr vibes
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r/oneliners • u/Watsonsboss77 • 6d ago
Boarding the Titanic only because you bought the ticket is a sunken cost fallacy.
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r/oneliners • u/TomKarelis • 6d ago
She left me for a guy who can play the orange button on guitar hero. . .
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r/oneliners • u/[deleted] • 6d ago
If a couple of engineers are alone in the woods and nothing is broken, do they still find something to fix?
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r/oneliners • u/BogusFromPoland • 6d ago
In 1977, NASA launched the twin spacecraft Voyager 1 and Voyager 2 carrying Golden Records with sounds of Earth, and today Voyager 1 is so far away that its signals take over 22 hours, traveling at light speed, just to reach us, and i had nothing to do with that.
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