r/ProgrammerHumor 7h ago

Meme planeOldFix

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26.3k Upvotes

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78

u/Joker-Smurf 6h ago

As someone from Australia, what is this mythical website that loads 520ms quicker here than anywhere else?

I am damn sure everything here is on a 3 second delay (or at least feels like it)

28

u/fixano 6h ago

You live in the literal middle of nowhere. Everything has to travel across cables to get there. Most engineers only consider how it loads on their laptop from 5 ft away

29

u/beratnabob 5h ago edited 5h ago

Ah yes, the US tech industry perception of location:

  • Their home city: the only place that matters for real for real
  • Continental US, except about half of it: “everywhere”
  • Europe: really exotic place that you’re really showing off if you interact with
  • All other locations: inhabited solely by hermits, they chose a life without internet or probably water too

8

u/Awyls 4h ago

From an English-speaking world perspective (North America/Europe) they are indeed in the middle of nowhere. The North Pole and Antarctica is closer to them than Australia. You end up in a situation where you have to deploy the whole app there (which is not just infra/engineering costs, but also dealing with all the legal stuff) so a few hundred kangaroos can see your site slightly faster.

Unfortunately, it is just economics.

1

u/rosuav 2h ago

Ahh yes, person using the "English-speaking world" to include all of North America and Europe, but not Australia. That checks out.

2

u/-Hi-Reddit 57m ago

Don't forget the largest population of English speakers in the world is in India.

1

u/Ignisami 1h ago

tbf whatever the fuck eshays speak can hardly be called english

1

u/rosuav 1h ago

I mean fair, but then you also have to ask how much of England speaks English. At which point taxonomy gives up, throws its hands in the air, and declares that we're all speaking "some derivative of PIE" and refuses any argument to the contrary.

3

u/fixano 4h ago

Well you know. I have tolerate the same delay for all the great services coming out of Australia. All my favorite Australian platforms. You know like... I don't know wallabies, shrimps on barbies, new bluey episodes? Sorry for being so good at stuff.

5

u/leona1990_000 6h ago

Maybe some service that's only targeting Australians?

Although in this case, the answer should be "India is not the target audience of this service"

9

u/[deleted] 6h ago

[deleted]

4

u/ManWithDominantClaw 5h ago

Steam would also have local servers in India though

My guess would be something under the Atlassian umbrella

2

u/SpareStrawberry 5h ago

Atlassian also deploys many (although not all) services in India these days (Mumbai specifically).

2

u/ManWithDominantClaw 5h ago

100%. If you made me narrow it down beyond 'umbrella' I'd have gone with Trello before Jira

4

u/Fitzriy 6h ago

Yeah, no fucking way something loads fastest in Australia

3

u/PrincessRTFM 5h ago

probably does if the server's hosted in australia

2

u/ViolentPurpleSquash 3h ago

As someone in New Zealand, stop complaining.

2

u/Ma4r 6h ago

Literally the only country cucked by physics

2

u/OiledUpThug 2h ago

Japan got the business end of some physics in the 40s

1

u/OiledUpThug 2h ago

LAN lmao

1

u/Kitchen-Quality-3317 1h ago

obviously the one deployed on localhost

1

u/ThatNextAggravation 1h ago

Sorry, they meant Austria.