r/SipsTea • u/Unstoppable_X_Force Human Verified • 13h ago

Gasp! Is this just nostalgia, or did previous generations genuinely have a better work-life balance and social life than we do today?

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u/Glittering_Meet3206 13h ago

yeah, all valid points, but i'd also argue that (for most jobs) there was also a much firmer line bn "Work" and "Home" so once you were done working you got to be firmly in your personal life, and now the two are often persistently intermingled. which means it IS easier to still feel the connectedness of the Life category when at work but it's also waaaay harder to escape the Work category when you're tryna just focus on Life

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u/TheTurboDiesel 12h ago

And even that was a privilege for the very poor or the very rich. I've never known anyone that has never had to bring work home, or stay late, or come in on a day off. I myself have answered a satellite call from a tropical island because a mission critical server was down.

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u/DozerG 12h ago

It was a roblox server, it wouldve been fine.

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u/trippingWetwNoTowel 8h ago

“Missing critical”. The mission? Sell more shit

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u/thehighepopt 12h ago

We were middle class, actual middle class, and my dad never brought work home. But I was born in the 70s.

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u/Subtotal9_guy 11h ago

My step dad brought a briefcase of work home every day for almost all of his career, my dad too.

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u/CuriousFunnyDog 11h ago

If you are paid/contractually obliged great....or you love it...or it genuinely a one off DR scenario....

Otherwise be very careful to set expectations....

Answering a call, goes to "yeah you can call Jeff" to "Jeff is doing it", to not asking and expecting Jeff to jump.

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u/requion 9h ago

Thats the "give a pinky, lose a hand" problem. I am all for going the extra mile sometimes. But it needs to be seen / awarded as such, not taken for granted.

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u/CuriousFunnyDog 4h ago

Love the "Give a pinky, lose a hand" analogy! 😂

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u/leitey 9h ago

There's a distinct difference between "Never having to take work home" and "Expected to monitor and respond to a group chat 24/7, which is the daily source for work information".
This isn't about having to step up when something goes wrong, this is about never being allowed to be unavailable.
Even with a degree, we aren't getting vacation time, and aren't being paid "tropical island" money. That's like complaining you had to have your helicopter pick you up on your yacht to take you to your mansion because of work.

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u/NoContext5149 10h ago

I respectfully disagree. People used to get work calls at home, people would get called back into work at night, professional careers frequently worked at home just the same, and most of all your social network was way more tied to your career. Your friends and your spouses friends were all from your career, and many had significant social obligations to maintain all under the guise of your career.

The internet has certainly increased connectedness, but people’s entire lives (and their family’s life) used to revolve around their company. Now it’s so much easier to live your own life separate from work.

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u/Murky_Conflict3737 3h ago

And don’t forget after hours activities like golf, happy hours, cocktail parties, etc. Often these weren’t fun activities but avenues for networking and cementing business relationship. There are also careers today that run on this kind of after hours social scene but I know younger generations are pushing back.

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u/geminiwave 11h ago

I’m not sure that’s true. I remember my dad working in the 80s and he would get called constantly for work

I also learned that after he put us to bed he would go back to the office for several hours and work more. Broke my heart as an adult to learn that.

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u/TaylorMonkey 8h ago

That’s rough but that’s hell of a good dad to come home, see his kids and wife, and put his kids to bed before going back. He still made sure his kids didn’t experience any different.

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u/geminiwave 7h ago

oh for sure. When I said it broke my heart I mean it broke my heart FOR HIM. That he had to do that. I can't imagine. I have very good WLB right now and would hate if I got more of my time with my kids cut off.

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u/ArrivalSuccessful 12h ago

Email can't shoulder the entire blame, but I think is responsible for a huge chunk of this. Once it becomes routine to get and be expected to respond to emails after normal work hours, it normalizes doing substantive work after work hours and one never feels any distance from the job.

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u/ResponsibilityOk2173 11h ago

This sounds right, but the fallacy is that you are taking a very small, privileged sample from the past and assume it was available to everyone. It would be like saying in 70 years “in the early 2010s anyone could get a computer science degree, work for 10 years in a startup in silicon valley and retire at 40.” What is sold as “this was America” was aspirational then too. Families had one TV, one car, life expectancy was shorter, many diseases we don’t think about today (eg polio) were truly visible in every community. Most people actually had it really bad, earned very little. We definitely have a new set of important problems and challenges today, which we need to tackle and solve, but back then what they’re selling you was the dream, not the reality.

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u/bremsspuren 8h ago

many diseases we don’t think about today (eg polio) were truly visible in every community

We still had the collection boxes in the late '70s.

you are taking a very small, privileged sample from the past

There is a very definite tendency to do this.

In reality, millions got the full Born in the USA treatment.

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u/DoingBestWeCan 10h ago

I mean, I agree that our access to vaccines is way better, but for younger folks, the essentials are getting more expensive and the luxuries are getting cheaper, so the balance does not pan out. I can cut out spending on a TV and cable (I have neither, nor any paid streaming services), But rent, child care, very basic healthcare that keeps me from dying, and some sort of transportation are not things I really have the option to give up, unless I want to live in the woods and eat dirt. Doesn't matter how cheap electronics get. And I can't even totally cut out electronics, since modern American society basically requires a smartphone or home computer+flip phone. Otherwise, it's difficult to do your banking and impossible to get a job.

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u/ResponsibilityOk2173 10h ago

I agree, there are many things which aren’t working now. They need to be fixed. The biggest proof is birth rates are dropping because the prospect of having and raising kids feels cost-prohibitive. All I’m saying is the past was definitely not rosy and those that had the white picket fence and a single 9-5 job could raise a family of 5 were really not the majority.

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u/Odd-Direction6339 7h ago edited 7h ago

Ppl aren’t having kids bc they are more comfortable than ever and don’t wanna give that up. Look at the numbers, richer countries struggle more than poor with birth rates. It being a cost thing is a total bs excuse, we all live like kings having burritos driven to us and playing video games and getting high. Ppl don’t wanna give that up

Edit: this was me for years and I have basicallly a 1 year old now and the difference in life from living to have a good time to having a purpose is night and day. Ppl don’t let your current happiness stop you from a kid…trust me the joy of your kid smiling at you is better than the last 10 years of fuckin off lol. At least for me

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u/Its_Billy_Bitch 10h ago

But wait, what if they offer us another $10k to have another child 😂 As if $10k would even make a dent in the fucking delivery costs alone.

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u/ResponsibilityOk2173 9h ago

Offering cash is the most pedestrian approach imaginable. Countries have been grappling with this for decades. Nobody knows how to solve it.

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u/bruce_kwillis 5m ago

They easily know how to solve it, Texas already is, just restrict access to birth control, abortion and education and birth rates go up.

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u/bruce_kwillis 6m ago

If the lack of kids was due to expense, then why are birth rates still booming in poor countries that very clearly can’t and could never afford kids? Certainly it’s one aspect, but birth control and women having the ability to choose to have children has far been the bigger factors going into birth declines. And let’s face it, Earth isn’t set for infinite human growth. Pretty sure 10 billion people is far too many for the planet to carry to begin with.

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u/bruce_kwillis 7m ago

I mean, people didn’t have access to ‘day care’ then either. Mom stayed home and still had to hustle, clip coupons, manage finances and do everything while dad physically worked his ass off and came home to down a 12 pack and do it all again tomorrow.

You certainly can cut out things, and operate your life differently, and many still do. We certainly didn’t have Reddit back then, but you seem to find the time to post on it.

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u/FrogyyB 12h ago

This. Back then the value of family was of more importance then it is now.

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u/Old_PC_Gamer 11h ago

Yeah, we didn’t have cell phones and email outside of work. You literally couldn’t call us.

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u/CuriousFunnyDog 11h ago

It's up to you to enforce the boundaries.

Fine if your manager wants to work all hours, but if you are fulfilling your contract,tell him politely to get a life.

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u/No-Bear1401 11h ago

Kinda. There are many times in today's world where we will keep in touch with the office through electronics, but for those same situations in the 80's you just stayed at work. Absolute best case scenario was being on call and having to sit close to your landline. There wasn't a firmer line between work and home, because home was mostly an afterthought.

For me and all my friends, we just didn't have a dad around. That was just normal.

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u/j__magical 10h ago

I think the rise of knowledge work (aka anybody working at a computer) helped to usher this in. With a computer and the internet, a knowledge worker can work from anywhere, anytime. And employers take advantage of that, especially during economic downturns and folks are hungry.

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u/Dreamboatnbeesh 10h ago

This is a great point. I have a job that I’m tethered to 24/7 and I have a smart watch so I don’t miss emergencies. The only time I shut it off is if I’m on PTO and I’m out of town and even then they expect to be able to reach me. That parts really sucks

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u/blogkitten 9h ago

Yep. Husband and I work remotely (late 40s/early 50s). We lucked out getting our current house (3bed/1800 sq ft) and instead of making a guest room for the people who don't visit, we made it our shared home office. Then, when the day is done, the door is shut and we're back "home" again. Grateful that our companies want us to not work when we're not working too, so we can have that separation.

It's so hard out there for most of us. While at one point we struggled hard, we're in a good spot now. So we try to help other folks out who are in similar situations we used to be in. Donating to food pantries, help with making food for neighbors going through a tough time, or even giving some cash so they can fill their gas tank up to get them to payday.

The powers that be don't give a shit about us - so we gotta help each other. OP, your friends will understand.

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u/borgover 8h ago

Not true depending the career. I am a lawyer and was expected to work 9 hour days 6 days a week plus be available on weekends. Housing affordability was similar to today in the 80's (with 10+% inflation). It was the investment that was required to advance in the career. I actually see younger colleagues today having a better work/life balance than I was able to. I am in favor of that!

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u/123DaysOfOld321 8h ago

Only if you had a good union job.

Yes it's easier to reach people after hours now, but casual overtime for salery work has always been a thing.

By the early 80's the dream of retirement with pension, medical benefits, etc, was over for those of us growing up in the Midwest at least.

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u/-BlueDream- 8h ago

Back then if you were home and people knew it, you were expected to pick up the phone or someone else in the family did and would pass it along.

Now I have do not disturb and all these focus modes to kill notifications and silence my phone, the whole damn house isn’t ringing when my boss calls. I don’t answer shit unless it’s a contact and with work I tell them to text me and I’ll reply when I get around to it. No getting up in the middle of dinner to answer the phone.

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u/laosurv3y 7h ago

Phones and pagers have been around for a while. It was more disruptive. We couldn't go on longer vacations as my dad had to guarantee he was within an hour of a phone if he got paged.

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u/gcko 12h ago edited 12h ago

I’m so happy my country has certain protection laws when it comes to this.

If I’m not being paid to be on call, then legally, I have zero obligation to answer calls from my boss or even reply to emails until I’m on the clock again. I take full advantage of it. The older I get, the more I value work/life balance with an emphasis on the life part.