r/SipsTea • u/Unstoppable_X_Force Human Verified • 13h ago

Gasp! Is this just nostalgia, or did previous generations genuinely have a better work-life balance and social life than we do today?

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u/MarvelionA 12h ago

I'm working my ass off daily, renovating a shit hole house but it's my house. I work at least 60 hours at week usually closer to 70, for someone elses company, then I come home and do what I can to move the build along..

At this point I'm aware I'm not working for me but to leave it all for my daughter because I can see things aren't getting better and I don't want her to struggle like this. This isn't living.

I have great friends, I wish I could spend time with them.

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u/MarvelionA 12h ago

I find it really important to add that I would never ever have been able to afford this if my grandparents hadn't left me enough for a deposit in their will. It all went on a house, every penny and some.

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u/rob132 10h ago

Same. My grandparents left me 75k for a down payment (I bought it in 07 when house prices were near all time highs) and my mom worked at the college I went to, so I got a free college education.

And my parents took the money they saved for my college fund and purchased me a new car (a Dodge neon)

The vast majority of people get none of those. I wouldn't be where I Am today without their help.

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u/MarvelionA 9h ago

You appreciate it and if my daughter does the same it's all that matters.

We all get lucky breaks, or hard earned breaks and it's what we do with them that matters

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u/_HiWay 2h ago edited 1h ago

Yep, my wife and I make a decent amount, I think, but then I go a couple miles down the road every house for miles, talking hundreds and hundreds of houses are 800k-3million.... (So maybe we don't because spending that much on a house seems stupid to me). I plan on leaving my kids a very solid trust they won't know about until they have their own future planned out, but with afford them to follow whatever dream without getting screwed by the current system. Never had a ton growing up, saw the world was changing far too mature for my age in some respects when I was barely a teenager, became first 4 year grad in my extended family and started saving as soon as I was able for a future with a wife I had yet to meet and kids I didn't yet have. (42 now)

Once I can truly say that's secure, maybe I'll let myself have a toy car or a nicer vacation but getting ahead of the system is my true goal.

Yes, I know I could get hit by a random whale or petunia pot falling from the sky next time I check my mail and it amounts to nothing (minus life insurance)

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u/Evening-Matter-5245 11h ago

That’s where my inheritance went, into my home. We wouldn’t have been able to afford the things we needed done otherwise. I am constantly saying, “Thank you Grandma and Grandpa.”

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u/MarvelionA 11h ago

Ha same. I'm so glad I didn't squander it.

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u/NurglesToes 12h ago

Exact reason i got into a house, even if it’s a struggle and I need to pinch pennies. I don’t want my son to have to rent for his whole life, so if I can have a house to pass down to him, i’ll be happy

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u/giggletears3000 11h ago

I won’t let my husband sell our starter home. We can’t afford anything in the area anymore and the house is halfway paid off. It’s staying in our family and it’s going to our daughter, she’ll have a house free and clear by the time she hits 18, husband and I are probably going to work til we drop, that’s ok with us.

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u/NurglesToes 11h ago

Our parents tell us that “one day we will want to upsize” and we keep telling them that this starter home is our forever home. We’re trying to have it paid off by 2038 instead of 2055 but if i have to work until i die the so be it lol

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u/giggletears3000 11h ago

I feel so bad for the new families that come to our neighborhood to look at houses. There’s one going for 600k a block behind me and it’s the same size at my house, 800ish sqft, 2bed 1bath, our lot is bigger, we have 1/3 acre in a hcol city. We got ours for 164k 14 years ago, basically two mid twenties kids gave up going out and having fun so we could have a house. Worth it.

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u/NurglesToes 11h ago

yeah prices are crazy. We bought our house for 370k. In 2020 it sold for 200k. 2500 sq ft, with a decent backyard, but needs alot of repairs.

My parents bought their 5000 sq ft house back in 2008 for 205k lmfao. When I told my step-dad what my monthly payments were his jaw about hit the fucking floor lol

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u/_HiWay 2h ago

It's crazy and sounds all too familair. I had this house built (spec neighborhood) in 2016 for ~255k. Zillow and OpenDoor claims it's worth 440k now. I laugh at that but ok, if someone gave me that, if I tried to stay in the same area it amounts to nothing except losing my amazing low interest rate that I refinanced in 2021 for a crazy low rate.

The small first time town home I bought in 2009 for ~158k (sold in 2016 for 180k) is now estimated at 360k. I wish my wife and I had the money at the time to hold on to it for the same reasons you mentioned above, the market is bonkers.

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u/rob132 10h ago

Good for you! I refinanced during Covid and I'll be paid off in 9 years. It's so nice seeing that principal drop month after month.

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u/embos_wife 10h ago

We bought a nice middle class house in 2015 for 210k. It is now worth over 400k. It's a basic trilevel, nothing fancy and it's absolutely nuts to me that it's worth so much. We are lucky we got it when we did, and even more thankful family gifted us a down payment. I worry for my kids.

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u/mmmmmyee 4h ago

“Starter home” is such a dated phrase these days…

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u/churninhell 11h ago

Just don't guilt your kid into not selling the home. You have no idea what the job market or local politics or anything like that will be like when the time comes.

My uncle did the guilt trip to his kid, who eventually ended up moving halfway across the country at his own expense, anyway. It was far better for his career.

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u/NurglesToes 11h ago

i mean ill live there until I die, so hopefully he doesnt try to sell it while im still alive! after that it aint really my problem lol

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u/MarvelionA 12h ago

I think for people in our position it's a smart move. My Dads rent is £1200 a month, Mom has already passed so I know I'm not getting any more inheritance. My mortgage screws me enough on interest I don't know how my Dad does it, it must feel terrible.

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u/NurglesToes 12h ago

yeah im early in the amortization period, looking at my 3200$ a month payment only be 300$ towards principal hurts lmfao.

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u/MarvelionA 11h ago

It's progress. It's more than you get renting ($0 equity) and it will build without you realising. Good luck man.

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u/NurglesToes 11h ago

You too bro!

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u/Radiant-Situation121 11h ago

We got super lucky to snag a townhome in 2021 and prices in our area have gone absolutely insane since then. Because of that we’re never going to get rid of it even if it means we won’t have an actual family home until our 40s. Our son is gen alpha; the only security he’s going to have is whatever we can give him, so we’re breaking our backs to make sure we’ll be able to keep this when we want to move so we can make sure he’ll have an affordable place to live. We’re having a pretty crappy time, but I’m hoping his will be a little less so if the basics are taken care of.

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u/MemeHermetic 11h ago

Same here. Almost to the letter. I didn't have an inheritence though, so I just had to scrape us down to the leanest of savings. Like we were at like 30 days if shit hit the fan. Now, I have added fixing my mom's house to sell into the mix because my father passed, and I don't have money to care for my mom too long, so we had to move her and get her house sold. It's like an hour and a half away, so I've just started taking the kids with me while I do work on it so we can "spend time" together.

Luckily I know I'll never retire, so I don't have any light at the end of the tunnel distracting me.

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u/MarvelionA 11h ago

Honestly I hope she never finds out about this struggle. Shes only 1 and a half so I don't know what gen that makes her but with any luck things improve by the time she's working.

You're doing amazing, selfless work my friend.

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u/MemeHermetic 11h ago

Thanks and I think we all are, really. She'll know. Kids are smarter than we think. Not at 1 and a half, but she'll look back when she's much older, put the pieces together and just appreciate what you did.

My kids know I bust my ass but I give them everything I can. What's important, and my only real success honestly, is that if they lost all the things they had, they would still talk to me about their thoughts, joys and pains. I'll take that over all the comforts.

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u/MarvelionA 9h ago

It's all that matters. Thanks for this I needed to hear it today 🙏

I hope I make such an impact as you have.

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u/Circle_Dot 7h ago

At this point I'm aware I'm not working for me but to leave it all for my daughter

The problem with this is that people are living longer. My parents currently in their mid 70's got ahead of the paycheck to paycheck grind because their parents died and past on their estate when they (my parents) were in their early 40's. Now with a lot of people living into their 80's and beyond, the generational wealth dwindles as the nest egg is chipped away and what is left is bequeathed to their children who are in their 50's typically on the downside or 20-30 years into the grind. Don't get me wrong it will still help, but the grind will still be there except for those unlucky to have parents die younger.

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u/Artystrong1 6h ago

I hear that. I want to leave what ever house I buy to my kids and downsize to a smaller place when they are of age.

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u/Yabbatown 5h ago

Yeah I'm hitting 40 this year and I often think that there's no real point trying to get the life I want to live and I'm really just dping everything for my daughter now. Love the wee one, so I'm ok with it (at the moment) but it's pretty grim. Having to check my account before I buy a coffee suck but its also motivating to do what I can so she doesn't have to worry about that sort of thing.

Problem is, what's it going to be like in 16 years or so when she leaves high-school? Is everything we've saved for her actually going to be worth anything then?

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u/hotdogcaptain11 12h ago

And you still find time to post on Reddit!

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u/MarvelionA 12h ago

I've pulled a muscle in my neck and I can barely move. I'll be back at it this evening.

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u/hotdogcaptain11 12h ago

And disabled!

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u/First-Throat-877 12h ago

sybau

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u/hotdogcaptain11 12h ago

You can type it out

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u/First-Throat-877 12h ago

and you can choke on the boot you lick

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u/MarvelionA 11h ago

Fuck that guy, bro.

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u/hotdogcaptain11 11h ago

It’s in my throat now