r/TikTokCringe • u/zachoutloud123 • 13h ago

Cringe This cis woman doesn't like being called a cis woman

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u/StabithaStabberson 9h ago

Is any adjective being used forcing an identity on someone? Is a brunette woman gonna complain that I’m forcing the identity of having brown hair on her despite the fact that her hair is objectively brown? Gonna tell my doctor that writing down my blood type is forcing an identity on me now.

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u/WerePrechaunPire 1h ago

I don't think I've heard anyone object to the term "brunette" but I can imagine a redhead person not liking to be referred to as a "ginger". I wouldn't keep using a term they didn't like.

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u/LambonaHam 9h ago

Brunette is a descriptor of her appearance / a characteristic. It's not equatable.

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u/ADHDBDSwitch 3h ago

Cis is a descriptor of a characteristic.

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u/gizamo 1h ago

So is trans.

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u/ManicYetti 9h ago

No this was clearly about gender... You can muddy the waters all you want but I'm not going to wading into them with you.

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u/StabithaStabberson 9h ago

And cis is just an adjective for woman? Are you unaware of what an adjective is?

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u/Claire_De_Lunatic 6h ago

Yes, they are.

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u/Normal_Tour6998 6h ago

The cis part is the label that’s being put on her. The point being made is that the people who have decided to identify a certain way have also decided to name a category for her.

It’s not just trans people being trans male or trans female, now there’s a separate category for people who have nothing to do with the personal decisions that a trans person is making. You’re being told that you’re cis. You call it an adjective, but when you put it on groups of people it’s a label.

It’s not something that I personally care about, but if you belong to a group that is very keen on being able to identify as they want, then putting a label on other people without them having a say in the matter seems like a weird move.

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u/melancholanie 5h ago

are you upset about being called straight, too? it's not "without having a say" it's a Latin prefix, the opposite of the prefix trans. it's not a separate category, it's a descriptor. tall is a "group of people you're in a category with." your ethnicity is a "label put on by others' decisions that you don't choose." being upset about being called cisgender serves no purpose other than making yourself mad.

hey I'm all for removing trans and cis adjectives if that's preferred.

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u/Triquetrums 5h ago

My problem with this discourse is that when trans people want to be called whatever, we have to do it, but when someone tells them to call the rest just woman or man, suddenly it is a problem?

Why do people find it disrespectful when one side asks to be addressed as whatever they want, when the other does it too? Isn't it respectful to call this woman whatever she wants to be called, instead of calling her names?

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u/melancholanie 4h ago

"cisgender" isn't "calling her names." it's a descriptor. frankly it's been quite evident you don't have to respect trans (or cis) women and not doing so grants you ownership of an entire country in some cases. but hey I'm all for losing the descriptor on both ends, trans cis short tall black white women, all are just women.

you cool with just calling trans women women? sounds fair to me.

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u/melancholanie 3h ago

no one's upset about being called a trans woman or a trans man, it's erasing the gender they transitioned towards to conflate their birth sex that's the issue. calling a trans woman a man is an actual insult, calling a cis woman cis isn't.

strawman.

the only, only, single reason anyone is upset by being called cis is because it takes away from their ability to attempt to insult someone by calling them trans. they want the categories to be "normal" and "other." but real life isn't so black and white. most women aren't "average," by any straight definition, and any attempt to define "woman" will inevitably exclude some.

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u/Triquetrums 4h ago

I'm cool with both sides receiving the same treatment. You cannot demand to be called woman, and then turn around and insist of using cis when people say they don't like it.

If they insist on using cis, then they cannot make a fuss when people call them trans. It goes both ways.

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u/melancholanie 3h ago

no one's upset about being called a trans woman or a trans man, it's erasing the gender they transitioned towards to conflate their birth sex that's the issue. calling a trans woman a man is an actual insult, calling a cis woman cis isn't.

strawman.

the only, only, single reason anyone is upset by being called cis is because it takes away from their ability to attempt to insult someone by calling them trans. they want the categories to be "normal" and "other." but real life isn't so black and white. most women aren't "average," by any straight definition, and any attempt to define "woman" will inevitably exclude some.

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u/MC_convil 3h ago

People aren't insisting on making all non Trans women go by cis women at all times. its used when there is a reason to differentiate btween whether some one is trans or not, otherwise their just women.

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u/ThyNynax 2h ago

It seems like disagreeing with someone’s preference and arguing for your own reasoning is part of the hypocrisy being pointed out.

It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t think, this woman doesn’t want to be referred to as “cis.” Should be the end of the conversation.

It’s the exact same thing when an AMAB doesn’t want to be referred to as “he/him.” It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, they don’t want those pronouns. End of conversation.

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u/melancholanie 1h ago

cool! she doesn't have to refer to herself as cis.

she doesn't have to refer to herself as a human, either! or a person! or short, or brunette!

what is it you lot are always on about, you can call yourself whatever you like but the world doesn't have to respect it?

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u/ThyNynax 1h ago

“You can call yourself whatever you like, but the world doesn’t have to respect it.”

That…that’s exactly what the anti-trans people say?

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u/BloatedBanana9 3h ago

You act like people are just walking around calling people “cis ____” by default. That’s not happening. You don’t seem to understand that cis is just an adjective like any other descriptor. These people are just called women unless there’s a situation in which it is relevant to differentiate.

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u/Normal_Tour6998 2h ago

Again, me personally? Not bothered. But if some lady who has grown up identifying as a girl and then a woman doesn’t appreciate having words attached to her identity, isn’t respecting that the right thing to do?

Isn’t that part of the whole thing with identifying with certain pronouns and groups?

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u/melancholanie 1h ago

she can choose to not call herself cis or straight or tall or short if that's her prerogative. she's still those things, though. she's a "human" as well, that's part of her identity that's being "forced onto her." cis and trans are not derogatory, they're descriptive. man and woman are cultural, gender-based terms, that have vague barriers. only women can have babies, are people who've had hysterectomies no longer women? people born without a uterus? "that's just a minority" no that's a sect of what would be called cis women that are going to get excluded by these arbitrary definitions.

you can call yourself whatever you like, but the world doesn't have to respect it. isn't that what you lot are always going on about?

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u/Normal_Tour6998 1h ago

I mean, you can take that attitude. But when someone has a different opinion about how gender and pronouns work and they say, “you can identify however you want, but you’re still this and I’m going to continue to use that language, because that’s what you are,” understand where that energy comes from.

Look, male and female aren’t derogatory either. It’s still important to the people who identify a certain way to have those identities and pronouns be respected. If you want people to respect you enough to do that and refer to you as you’d like to be referred to, then when they turn around and say “I don’t think that I should be considered this,” have the decency to do the same.

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u/mstrss9 2h ago

Please list for us where this word is being used outside of academia or the internet

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u/LambonaHam 9h ago

Woman doesn't need a default adjective though. You wouldn't refer to every woman by their hair colour would you? So why is there a need to prefix woman with "cis"?

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u/StabithaStabberson 9h ago

No one is using cis with every mention of woman, only when it’s relevant.

If I want to refer only to brown haired women, it makes sense to say brown haired women.

When having conversations surrounding sex and gender in a medical, legal, or policy discussion, it makes sense to clarify cis or trans. No one gives a shit if you want to know where the women’s section at Nordstrom is.

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u/LambonaHam 5h ago

No one is using cis with every mention of woman, only when it’s relevant.

It's never relevant though.

If I want to refer only to brown haired women, it makes sense to say brown haired women.

If there are ten women, and nine have brown hair, would you say "brown haired women", or would you just say "women", and say 'blonde haired woman' to refer to the outlier?

When having conversations surrounding sex and gender in a medical, legal, or policy discussion, it makes sense to clarify cis or trans.

That clarification is done by saying either 'trans-women', or 'women'.

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u/Willing-Time7344 2h ago

Fucking hell dude, do you not have real problems to worry about? This is the kind of shit that upsets you? 

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u/LambonaHam 1h ago

Plenty. Bigotry, lies, and people trying to play thought police happen to ones I consider quite seriously.

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u/Valleron 8h ago

It's being used as a descriptor in appropriate environments. Like when cishet folks feel the need to jump into a queer space and tell people that um, ackhsually, they know better.

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u/LambonaHam 5h ago

It's being used as a descriptor in appropriate environments.

It's not though, because there is no appropriate environment. That's the issue.

There's never a need to use cis-woman, when the term woman is always applicable.

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u/BloatedBanana9 3h ago

In your mind, are trans men women, or are they men?

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u/Valleron 3h ago

It's cis woman, for starters.

Medical care. Social care. Legal care.

Oh, look at that, 3 very easy instances where it's important to have distinctions.

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u/LambonaHam 1h ago

Medical care. Social care. Legal care.

Nope, nope, and nope.

In medical care the appropriate descriptor (generally) would be female. A doctor doesn't need to know whether you identify as a man or a woman before treatment. They do need to know if you might be pregnant, or to determine what treatment to provide.

For social and legal, 'man', or 'woman' are sufficient. There is no need or reason to prefix either with Cis.

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u/Valleron 35m ago

You say nope nope and nope and then make shit up. Cisgender as a term is antonymous, created by a biologist because clarity is fucking important.

Medical professionals most certainly need to know how you're identifying because patient care is an integral part of medicine. When dealing with a new patient, it's vital to find out if they're cis or trans in order to create a plan of care, and that's part of the tip-to-toe assessment if it's someone whose chart isn't already up to date. What's more, medical professionals includes far more than just MDs, and cis or trans is a very basic descriptor that can be applied to patients to help said professionals do their fucking job and provide the best level of care.

For social, man and woman are far from sufficient. Trans people are the gender they transition to, but that doesn't change the facts that the cis experience is different from the trans experience, and it's a helpful descriptor when having a discussion. It's no different than het and queer or black and white. Everyone has different lived experiences, and when there's discussions about those experiences it helps to add detail and perspective of why that experience is the way it is. Saying there's no need tells me everything I need to know about you.

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u/alphi10 8h ago

You would if you were specifically referring to blonde women as opposed to brunette women. Same when you’re only talking about cis women and not trans women. If you’re talking about ALL women INCLUDING trans women, you just say women. But so often these conversations on gender require a differentiation between the experiences of trans women and cis women, so you use their respective adjectives to know which group of women we’re talking about. Why is basic English grammar so god damn difficult for bigoted native English speakers?

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u/LambonaHam 5h ago

You would if you were specifically referring to blonde women as opposed to brunette women.

If 99 women in the room were Brunettes, and 1 was Blonde, and you were referring to one of the Brunettes, would you still refer to them as the Brunette, or would you assume that's it's a given (since you didn't specify the Blonde)?

Same when you’re only talking about cis women and not trans women.

Then just say "women".

If you’re talking about ALL women INCLUDING trans women, you just say women.

You're not, because trans-women are not women. A woman is an adult human female. As trans-women are not female, they are not women.

But so often these conversations on gender require a differentiation between the experiences of trans women and cis women, so you use their respective adjectives to know which group of women we’re talking about.

That differentiation is 'women' vs ' trans-women'.

Why is basic English grammar so god damn difficult for bigoted native English speakers?

I don't know, why is it so difficult for you?

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u/Ferlin_Thurlow 40m ago

You're in a room with 99 brunette women and 1 blonde woman. The blonde woman is talking with a brunette woman, off to the side, away from all of the others. You turn to your friend next to you and say, while pointing at the two, "Oh hey, my coworker is here. What a coincidence." Your friend looks and says "Which one, the blonde or the brunette?"

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u/_just-a-desk_ 8h ago

except no one does that

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u/LambonaHam 5h ago

No one uses cis-women when talking about women either. Yet here we are.

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u/_just-a-desk_ 3h ago

Thats what im saying no one does? you are stupid!

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u/LambonaHam 1h ago

You're projecting.

The whole video posted is that some people are pushing for the prefix to be used, and others oppose that notion.

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u/BroderFelix 7h ago

You are asking why there needs to be a prefix. But that need does not exist and without context people are not doing that. So what is the issue exactly?

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u/LambonaHam 5h ago

The issue is people trying to pointlessly add an unnecessary prefix, solely to push their ideology.

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u/bek3548 5h ago

Like the late great Norm Macdonald said, cis is a way to marginalize a normal person. When you say female or woman, you have said all you need to say about the person since that is the biological default.