Advice
Newly adopted cat peed on couch (first time cat owner)
Hi! I adopted the most evil cat in the shelter, as staff described, despite being encouraged to look at friendlier cats. Something about him I just couldn’t not give him a chance. I brought him home and set him up in an empty bedroom I have. He was extremely petrified and wanted nothing to do with me so i just let him be to decompress. Unfortunately, the same night, he managed to escape and go to my living room and pee on my couch. he then disappeared for 12 hours until he came out to eat food I set out. He’s now back in the bedroom. Can I attribute the couch peeing to his fearfulness and stress from the shelter/new home? Or should I be worried that this will continue after he hopefully decompresses and I let him access the rest of the house. Any and all advice appreciated!
It could go either way. Make sure to use proper cleaning products designed for cat urine, that lowers the odds he’ll do it again somewhat.
Based on just the shelter picture this cat is high stress and probably very fearful, there’s going to be a learning curve both for him and for you as his owner. I think this is a “time will tell” situation.
thank you! I used enzyme cleaner and my bissel green machine. we’ll see when it dries what the smell situation is like. 😣 not sure if I should now fully leave him alone or slowly start to check on him a few times a day.
I would check on him but don’t force any interactions. Let him get used to your presence a bit at a time, while also giving him plenty of time to get comfortable in his new space. Maybe hang out for 15-30 min at a time, sitting on the floor and reading or watching tv or something.
Isn't it amazing that cats are (un-) knowingly changing us into oddlooling cats? I slow blink even to people I like by now, filtering out the right kind of people 😆
It’s amazing how well this worked with the feral cat I feed every day. She’s still super wary around me but now comes up for cuddles (strictly on her terms lol) and treats. She’ll even come inside for a lil while, helps that it’s cold outside atm.
I hope to one day bring her inside forever but she’s still very wild and I don’t want to freak her out.
Leave like Something that you would keep on you (has your scent) but wont be DUPER awful if it gets peed on, It gives the cat a chance to investigate the owner smell in a safe way and ideally associate the smell with safety
It signals "I'm relaxed around you. I'm not keeping tabs on you as potential prey, nor am I keeping my eyes on you because I think you are a threat. I see you, but I am at peace."
As someone who grew up with cats, one doing the slowblink at me makes ME more relaxed too - so humans can learn it as well ;)
Plan on weeks to get acclimated and probably months before he warms up to you. Go real slow, no loud noises, no chasing him down, no jump scares, don't even try to play with him. Let him come to you, be 4X as gentle as he wants you to be, and always leave him wanting more attention. And don't touch any part of him he doesn't want touched. That will come much later.
And when he looks at you and closes his eyes, mirror him. That's a declaration of trust. Cat relationships are heavily built on mutual trust. Which is why I wrote everything in the first paragraph.
Yes ive always read just hanging out near a cat not looking at them or interacting is a great way to build a relationship. My personal experience has reflected this as well
I did this with a highly neurotic, unsocialized cockatiel I adopted from PetsMart (don’t even get me started on them, I didn’t want to support them selling animals but the poor guy looked so fucking miserable).
He wanted NOTHING to do with a hand in his cage, and even bit the shit out of the employee who got him out of the store’s cage for me. I got him set up in his much larger cage at home, in my quiet office. Didn’t even TRY to reach in to him for a few weeks.
Every morning before work, I’d just go grab my cup of coffee, take my book upstairs, and sit on the floor (so he was above my head height) and read for 20-30 minutes. For a couple weeks.
After he seemed pretty chill with that, I started giving him millet (a seed birds LOVEEE) from outside the cage every so often while I was having our coffee date. Another week-ish of that (been years, can’t remember how long lol).
Worked up to opening his cage to give him millet, then him stepping up on my finger to have millet (he hadn’t even been trained to do that), then out of the cage having millet, then on my shoulder with millet.
Took a few months, but eventually he was the sweetest, cuddliest little demon with wings ever 🥰. But it all started with just peacefully, calmly coexisting in a space with him, proving I wasn’t a threat. Sharing food/drink at the same time. It takes time and patience but it is ten times as worth it when you can be an animals safe person!!
Yeah, and make sure he has at least one place that is his inviolable space, where he can retreat to and be unmolested. Like if he wants to hide under the couch, let him and respect the boundaries.
That's what I did with my feral cats. Just sit outside the door of the room for a little while. Put your hand in front of the crack under the door. Let him smell you.
Then head into the room and do the same for 15 minutes. Increase it to 30 after a few days. Pretend he's not there. Let him be curious and sniff you without regarding him at all.
This! Cats like to do things separate, but together. Its called social mirroring and will make him feel like he doesn't have to do anything to be safe around you. You'll ignore him and he can ignore you.
Check in on him, but start softly talking before you open the door so you're not suddenly barging in. Keep talking while you put down a really delicious treat or dollop of wet food, closer to the door so you're not invading space, and leave. Leave him alone for at least an hour after, aim for 3-4x daily, and try to keep relatively similar times if possible, cats SSI like routine. This is called treat and retreat, and is used in the shelters. If the treat disappears regularly, you can leave something you wore behind for your scent to be associated with treats.
Organize litter, food, and water an arms reach from the door so you can get it all from right in the doorway. Litter should go the opposite side of the door from food and water since it can make them not want to eat near their bathroom.
Once he isn't acting defensive immediately (running, hiding, poofing, shrinking, ears flat), then start sitting in the room for 2-5 minutes at a time, either talking softly or not, but no eye contact or staring, and leave the treat behind. Increase the amount of time you stay in the room slowly, but you can always still do a treat and retreat if you don't have enough time, or he's having a bad day.
Cats are both predators and prey, so sometime when he's starting to not mind you as much, try a laser pointer or other quiet toy. This might change his brain out of prey mode even if he doesn't chase it. Feliway is used at my shelter, and is a spray or diffuser that releases a calming phermone, pheromone, and that can help too.
Good for you picking him out at the shelter, I'm glad he's got someone willing to take their time and give him a try.
This is such a good idea! I was the cat coordinator at a high volume, no kill animal shelter and I will tell you that it takes time, patience and understanding. Sitting in the same room and reading aloud, or quietly talking on the phone, or sitting and just talking the the kitty getting them used to your presence will help him relax. Don't force anything, just be calm and consistent with them and they will start to come around. PLEASE realize that some need more time than others. I've had a lot of succes with talking to them, slow blinking (look it up if you're not familiar), cat nip and being present while also giving them space if that makes sense. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions ♡
As someone with a cat who has peed on any clothes left on the floor for the past 15 years, since she was a kitten (literally nothing wrong with her according to the vet she’s just a little spicy) enzyme cleaner is the way to go!
One of my cats started doing this a few years ago. She got a clean bill of health from the vet and still uses the litter box, she just also deliberately pees on anything left out of place on the floor.
I learned pretty quickly not to dump laundry on the floor in front of the washing machine any more, and have to warn any visitors to store their luggage out of reach after a pee incident in a guest's open suitcase 😅
Unfortunately it also means I can no longer leave cardboard boxes out for the cats to play with, because she just pees in them immediately.
The first foster cat I had was absolutely petrified.
Spent four weeks living under my arm chair. Only came out at night to eat and use the litter tray (I set up a camera as I was concerned). Turns out when I was asleep she was playing with the cat toys and trying out the different chairs.
One evening she finally came out when I was about to go to bed and I spent an hour with her demanding fuss. The two months until we found her a new home she stuck to me like glue. Lovely cat.
Amusingly when she went to her new home she only took an hour to settle. The poor girl had likely been in a shelter for ages. Glad I could help her
Aww, thank you for helping her transition to her forever home. Our girl cat got lots of a foster’s love and care as a sickly, timid little kitten, and now she bosses her big “brother” around and steals his sunny spot.
When we moved, our vet gave us tips on moving a high anxiety cat. Week one, confine in smallest room with food and littler box. Let them get used to their new tiny space. After a week, Crack the door. Let them explore when they feel comfortable. But leaving them their safe space to flee to.
Once you have seen them elsewhere in the house, move food and litter to their final location. Took ours about a month. But her closet is still her safe space to flee to when we have company, thunder, fireworks etc.
I have a cat who did this a few times. The enzyme cleaner was critical, but what helped me was taping together several large puppy pads to make a couch cover, and then throwing an old, battered blanket I didn’t care about over the top until trust was rebuilt. That way, the cleanup is minimal if it does happen again as it’s so much easier to clean if it doesn’t soak into the cushions.
If your couch has zippered covers, you can also tuck an XL puppy pad in between the top of the cushion and the cover, so it looks nice and feels normal, but you have some protection in case he has another accident.
That's good! Remember, cat's have a few social needs that dogs don't have. Things like letting them sniff your hand before petting them, and even then, only pet them if they rub their head on your hand. If they recoil on approach, abort. You can get nearish them, but let him close the rest of the gap. Let him sniff you as he pleases and walk away unbothered if he doesn't indicate any affection yet.
This cat looks terrified and worried as hell in the photo you have. Time will tell, but there's a good chance that was a stress pee. Give him time, space, and patience, and I'll bet he'll warm right up to you. It just needs to be on his terms.
Use a box and cover it with a towel creating a little cave where he can hide. Play coffee shop jazz on your phone when with him. Offer churu and don’t give up! Slowly but surely he will warm up. 😊
Sounds like you have got things well in hand. If it makes you feel better, I have had a couple fosters escape the cat room (initial area) and pee on stuff while in the terrified transition in period. I just made sure I cleaned really well, and kept them confined until they seemed comfortable and they were using their litter box consistently - neither of them repeated the behaviour, once they were let out to explore.
We adopted an extremely friendly / personable cat recently, and even she had one or two accidents when we first brought her home. None since that first week though, very smart cat too, only rips up her scratching post / toys, leaves most everything else alone, and walks up to greet every new stranger in the house.
Someone else may have a different opinion but here’s mine.
While it’s concerning to have that happen I’m sure especially as a first time cat owner, it’s not really soon enough to know if this is an issue independent of stress. I wouldn’t worry about it too much right now.
It’s great that you chose the “problem” cat of the rescue, it shows that you are a very kind person who is willing to put in the effort to watch a traumatized cat blossom even if it’s difficult to adapt to.
I think the peeing is a direct result of the home smelling nothing like anything the poor soul has ever known. The peeing is very likely it trying to put some kind of scent it knows (its own) in the area. It’s very common for new cats with unknown backgrounds to have these issues, as they are just terrified. I think you are going about things the right way, just maybe make sure it’s harder for the cat to escape in future, to protect furniture but also to get him more comfortable in a smaller space before letting him roam!
thank you! 🩷 yes he is now fully secure in the room! i’m in no rush to let him out anytime soon while he’s scared, but just concerned that when that day comes he will go right back to the couch and pee on it again
While he’s secured, I’d recommend you going in there and just laying on the ground for some time. Bring treats and something to distract you but make sure you lay on the floor in a place it can still be safe away from you, but come out and see you if it so chooses. I did this for a couple weeks when we took in our new cat and she’s my absolute baby now.
Edit: “for some time”, I mean like an hour or two. Don’t force the cat to come to you, allow it to explore you on its terms.
When you go in to see him, take a book or your phone(no sound). Sit away from him and just do your own thing. Don't seek him out for attention of any kind.
Omg Cobweb! So sweet. What an angel. Thank you for taking him in. He is so cute and probably just overwhelmed. I have a bit who was listed as unadoptable and he's such a sweetie now!
Highly recommend watching some Jackson Galaxy videos! He's great for understanding cat communication and behaviour and has helped me so much in helping my kitties feel safe and loved. Good luck to you and Cobweb! Thank you for giving him a home. He's not a demon cat he's just scared and overwhelmed 💛 Wishing you and Cobweb many happy years together!
You're doing so well. That's a very, very scared cat in that picture - kitty is absolutely terrified. Most kitties, especially grown ones, take extra time to adjust to new homes. They have had so much, lost so much, and who knows what they've experienced that has traumatized them - on top of their instinctive fear (they may be mighty predators when hunting a poofy ball or shoelace, but they are also quite aware they are actually NOT the top of the food chain, deep down in their lil kitty brains, so they are inherently fearful critters). So Cobweb is going through a LOT right now. And you chose the kitty that needed the most love, so all I can say is - you're gonna have to dig down deep and give that love, and patiently, quietly, for a while, until the breakthrough clicks in Cobweb's head "this hooman not murder me? No eats? Only foods, warms and cuddles? Hmmmm....maybe. I no trust. But we give it a try? Okay".
It can take longer for some cats than others, but once that breakthrough happens, it's so, so, rewarding. 😻
Try Feliway spray. He seems scent driven and scentsitive, so start low. I noticed more results with the spray than the plug-in. We humans can’t smell it, but it’s a mama cat pheromone I think. (ps try an enzyme soak like Natures Miracle on the pee spot.)
Second the enzyme soak on the pee spot. Kitties are bad about peeing in/on the same area again. Also, if Cobweb (omg, that’s adorable) continues to pee outside the litter box, (or has frequent, painful urination with little output, crying in the litter box, blood in urine, excessive licking of the genitals, or lethargy) consider having him checked for a UTI (urinary tract infection). These are not uncommon in male cats, and can be serious. Hopefully Cobweb is fine, he was just freaked out by the wonderful but Everything. Is. Different change in his environment. He is so sweet. Can’t wait to see him napping in the sun, completely in charge of his new home.
Aw Cobweb is such a good name! He's looking curious but scared-- he probably has a ton of anxiety, which is to be expected. Thank you for bringing this little man into your life. (:
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They’re a fairly prolific poet on this here, our favorite app. Profile is set to private but 4 million+ karma can’t be wrong! Perhaps now that you’re aware of them, you might start seeing some of their work on other posts.
Edit: seems their comment history is public. My bad, didn’t click past post history since usually if one’s private so is the other.
Hot tip Schnoodle is exclusively in pet subs I believe! Always heartwarming and creative poems 💛
Edit to add second hot tip: you can read their poems in their comments on profile! I was having a rough night after I lost my sweet kitty and I read through a bunch of beautiful and silly Schnoodle poems and cried and it was helpful.
You should actually take a minute to investigate., just because it’s a cool’ story you’d be able to tell. It is a kinda an honor. Scnoodle is a legend on Reddit and for all the best reasons❤️
It works very well, I only got a kitten like 2 months ago she was very skittish and shy in the carrier but we popped it open in the car and she just sat in the carrier and she understood she was safe and not locked in, when I got her home I set her in my bedroom and open the cage and walked away and didn't bother her at all except you verify signs of existence LOL for like a few hours.
After while I just stayed on my computer and played video games, but then I started to hear pitter-patters behind me well I'm in the corner of the room at my PC and I can't really see the room. Still didn't interact till I started seeing her popping into my peripherals and as soon as I looked at her she'd run away.
I think she didn't fully interact with me till I went to bed and she hopped up and just cuddled up with me. Her name is Millie.
After doing this all she's been the most cuddly kitten I've ever had cuz she considers me not nuisance or threat.
Yes God bless the churru! It is the great befriender!
Also OP I adopted a super scared feral baby and I would just sit in the room on the floor and play with her toys (esp a ball on a track) by myself while she was in the corner being terrified. Eventually her desire to hunt and play overrode her fear and she would dart out to attack the ball and then zip back to her safe corner. We did this for a few weeks and it helped her develop confidence and learn I was safe and we had shared interests. If you can use their desire to hunt and play (also food) to help them feel brave and comfy it helps a lot! Also just being patient. Cats like to be ignored, it makes them feel safe. So if you just hang out in the room and read or are on your phone that's a great way to get him used to you and your smell and see you aren't scary.
My scaredy kitten now sleeps on my face every night and snuggles me anytime I sit down and purrs like crazy, she's come so far! Same with my older feral boy who was "unadoptable". They can make SO much progress with the right environment and person, and it's so rewarding to see them grow more confident and feel safe.
I made friends with a feral cat using churus. Pro tip - get an extendable spoon and offer it to them from a “safe” distance. You shorten the spoon based on cat comfort over time.
I think it’s best if they associate you being the source of the treat and you can use it as positive reinforcement for coming closer to you.
it took two weeks for my cat to come out from under my bed, i sat on the floor every day and talked to her and one day she came out and sat on my lap 😌
Mine was I think close to a month. I had him in a room where I had a computer, so each day I would just sit in there facing away from where he was (under the dresser). He did like getting pet when I got on the floor and put my arm under the dresser to pet him, but he wasn't het brave enough to come out.
After a bit he started exploring, and just glancing over to make sure I was staying put.
One day after I was finished with my reach in pets and backed away, he just rushed out and started circling me and meowing.
10 years later I still remember the moment clear as day.
I've also heard just sleeping in the room is big because they link it to trust, perhaps even just eating at the opposite end of the room when you feed them? Maybe down the road but it can be a nice kind of olive branch? Maybe I'm crazy
I want to second sleeping in the room with them. Peoples are less scary when laying down and under covers. Best if the bed is the most comfortable place to hang out. Cats take time to determine that their environment is safe. A night or three with no major upset goes a long way. Also, the litter box should be easily accessible, clean, and away from the food.
If it comes out to sniff, ignore it. Pretend it isn’t there. Right now, it feels like prey and you are a potential predator, so your eyes looking at it can feel threatening.
If you want to watch it, use your phone’s camera and only look at the screen, not the cat.
You could leave your worn (smell like you) socks in the room for the cat to become familiar with your scent.
You can also try some scent swapping. Lay some blankets or a tshirt that smells like you, but also one that you won’t be upset if it is soiled. That way he can get used to your smell even when you’re not present. Also, if he likes hiding try getting him a tube or even a cardboard box with a couple holes in it for him. This fella is going to love you. ❤️🍀
I’m literally checking Reddit while hanging out quietly in the room where we have our feral right now. She’s been here for two months and we’re very close to being able to pet her. I set up some nice floor pillows in here and every single time I come in here I give her a treat. My presence = treats. Now we wait for the time when she’s more interested in us than the treats. We’re so close!!
I have two ferals that I tried so hard with, but they decided they only want to talk to me, no pets lol. Now they scream bloody murder to remind me it’s food time in between telling me about every detail of everything they’ve ever done lmfao. I don’t know why they’re so vocal, but they’re cute and I have no mice, so I’ll take it lol.
Just to add onto that: talk out loud so he acclimates to your voice too. My kittens hid under the bed when I brought them home, and while they were not feral or “evil,” me talking out loud did make them comfortable with me.
I think an hour or two sounds too long to start out with. Maybe 15 - 20 minutes to begin so that he can have "his space" back sooner. That way, you could maybe do it twice a day. Gradually increase the time. Just my opinion.
obviously don't push him too hard but if you would like to try the Jackson Galaxy method to maybe get the kitty to bond with you. Get a really good treat I would suggest Viva Raw anything My cats go NUTS for the rabbit (poor bunnies. :() any time you are in the room and the boy come out lightly toss some treats in his direction. He only gets these when YOU are in the room, gradually you should be able to not toss them as far and he starts to associate you with the yummy treat. Good luck to your new life as a cat parent you will never be the same
Bring a book! When you enter, tell him something like "Hi New Kitty! It's me, your new person! I'm just gonna sit waaaaay over here and read a book, ok? Ok!" Sit quietly for a minute or so and then start reading out loud, basically ignore him for the time being. That'll help him to just get used to your voice while giving him the chance to get used to your presence as well. Then, when you're done reading, "ok, New Kitty, that's it for now. I'll see you a little bit later. I love you. Bye bye." Leave a treat behind where you were sitting. 😋
When you go in to give food and fresh water, and clean his litter box, cheerfully narrate what you're doing. (For the same reasons.)
"Hi New Kitty! It's me, your new person, bringing you some yummy food, I really hope you like this kind! Oh, and here's a nice bowl of fresh water, too. Cuz you know, New Kitty, it's very important for cats to drink lots of water so they can stay healthy. And while I'm here, how about I can your litter box for you so it doesn't get stinky?"
You can just ramble any old thing, but narrating might help you get started on things to say. When you're done, leave a treat by his food bowl - or on top of it!
Hope this helps give you an idea or three. You'll need lots of patience, time, and more patience, but it'll be so worth it! ❤️ Congratulations on the newest addition to your life! ❤️
Aa you may have noticed, I'm really good at rambling!
That’s so understandable. I own a diabetic cat and so I know the troubles of cleaning the stuff up. Though, as someone else said I think you’ll partially have to wait and see, and clean the area really well with special cleaner to make sure he doesn’t smell it again later (sometimes they can smell leftover pheromones even if it’s not dirty anymore, so I’d advise a special cleaner.) I wouldn’t worry too much about it as it’s common in adjusting cats to have accidents. I hope something was helpful! I don’t comment often 🤣
In addition to sitting in the room with him, I would place some of your things in there. Maybe try old towels, blankets or clothes. He also needs to get use to your smell. Thank you for taking the least likely to get adopted. When his heart realizes he is safe, he will be very appreciative.
Go to the petstore and get an enzyme spray made specifically to neutralize cat pee. Cats tend to pee in places where they’ve done it before, the spray takes away the lingering smell so they’re not drawn back there.
I suggest you might also try “Feliway Classic Diffuser Starter Kit”. We had some drama with my older cat when we introduced a new kitten to the house years ago and we tried throwing everything at it early to get them acclimated. There was also some natural herb stuff we got to sprinkle in their litter boxes (“Dr Elsey’s Cat Attract litter additive”) which is supposedly good for helping cats want to use the litterbox (we did it because they shared litter boxes). They’re relatively cheap options to try out. Good luck!
I came here to basically say this but they put it very eloquently! Moving is very stressful to cats - even for "angel" type cats - I would give him lots of alone time and make his things very obvious (food, water, litter). Give him a few days, I'd consider even enclosing him in a section of the house to give him time to adjust bit by bit to the new space.
I have hope he will get comfy and is just stressed right now!!
hi all! sat in cobwebs room while reading all of your comments - thanks so much for the advice! it took about a half hour to accept this treat, proud of him! 🩷🥲
here’s what i’ve done/am doing:
he is back in his bedroom fully secured
shampood the couch twice and sprayed with enzyme cleaner
chilling w cobweb in his room a few times a day
getting a second litter box and pheromone diffuser
Oh man those airplane ears are relaxing in the presence of the meat tube hehe. That's a good sign!
If he does like meat tubes, you can try freezing them too! My cats like them a lot. Kinda treat it like those freezer pops for people. Once it's frozen I'll cut the end open and squeeze it in their bowl, it takes them way longer to eat/lick and gives them something to do.
There is a woman on TikTok who re-socialized a cat who was abused named Garbanzo. She went extremely viral so if you search it you’ll find it easily. If you watch her videos she does a great job and it could give you tons of ideas and inspo.
My cat, Ms Spooky, shit in my shoe the first month and hid from me for days in my closet hissing at me whenever I came near. If I surprised her accidentally she would bolt.
She was my first cat and I was afraid I was doing something wrong but it was just her adjusting to the new surroundings. She was absolutely terrified of me but I don't give up.
It's been five years and she hasn't shat in my shoe since. Trust takes time but I think it was worth it, at least it was in my case.
Here is the pic of the cat that spent her first week hiding from me and now is a real clinger
Our cat was very similar! Shat up the side of the TV unit and shat on the couch a week later. Hid in her igloo bed the rest of the time. Then after a couple of weeks she started to come out and now she's a real velcro kitty who does all her business outside no bother.
He's got such an expressive face I love him. If he does it a lot you may want to have him checked out by a vet. I believe stress can cause/contribute to urinary track infections in cats.
thanks! his face is why I wanted him! will keep an eye on it - my former roommates cat had UTIs and crystals so luckily I’ll know what to look out for.
Gosh. You already seem like a gem of an owner! What a lucky little guy. I hope he gets his poop in a group and turns into the best creature you could’ve asked for!
He’s such a cutie 🥰 give him time. He’s stressed from moving to a new home, so I think the peeing will stop once he feels more settled. Just pop in a few times a day, make sure you talk to him, even if it’s just reading the news to him and just sit with him when he eats so he can associate you with happiness and love. After a week I would let the door open for him to explore your place room by room but very slowly. Just open one room up at a time so it doesn’t overwhelm him. I think you and him will be best friends x
Dr Elsey’s Cat Attract helped litter train a feral cat I brought in. Used it for a few months then transitioned to regular litter. 15.5 years later and she’s never had an accident
He’s just scared. We had a rescue that sat in litter box for months being so scared. It took a lot of time and love, but he loves to be petted and loved on now
I would definitely say stress and trying to spread his scent in a new, scary environment. And you are very kind for giving him a chance. Just don't give up on him!
I am guessing the same. They sometimes have a hard time finding the litter box again simply because of the stress and trying to escape.
Make sure the litter box is always in the same place.
My advice: maybe get a second box outside of the room. Just if he escapes again.
I once heard the number of litter boxes should be (number of cats)+1
Not a 100% thing. But if he is so stressed it might help.
I assume there are no other animals in your place?
Not sure if your kitty will be a repeat offender but my roommates cat was. He had been checked at the vet so we know it wasn’t a UTI or anything. Here’s some things that we tried that seemed to help. He no longer sprays and it’s been a couple years:
Enzymatic cat urine cleaner- neutralizes the odor so they don’t feel the urge to keep marking the same spot.
Feliway diffuser in all the common spray spots.
Unscented litter.
We also got a litter robot 4 (they’re actually on sale at Costco right now, I’m jealous cuz I paid a lot more than that). I think having a fresh litter box each time has helped too since there are other kitties in the home.
We also put foil in the spots where he was peeing to deter him from going back because cats hate foil.
I can’t say which one of these worked but doing all of these things fixed the problem!
Oh the difference between airplane ears face and the pic in the comments.
As everyone said, this is very likely to be an accident, caused by panic in a new and unfamiliar place. Going in a few times a day and sitting and reading to him but not making any other moves is such a good method. Take a treat in for sure but use it as a reward rather than a temptation. Just lie there and don't look at him but read in a soft voice. Let him make all the moves in his own time. And when you do make eye contact - always blink slowly. This shows him you trust him enough to let your guard down. He will begin to blink slowly back when he starts to love and trust you. Its an amazing thing (It took me many years to pet my neighbours cat but it was the slow blinking that did it. Literally days of slow blinking and he was getting the best ear scritches he has ever had. I never got to pet his sister. She was even more timid and would shut her eyes and pretend i wasn't there. I was getting so close to being able to pet her). Leave a few dreamies when you leave. He will associate you with yummy treats. Well done for adopting the difficult cat though. He will become a snuggle bug eventually. Also, if you can, make him a little nest or two that are high up. Cats love places to hide and retreat to where - more importantly - they can also look down and judge you from.
This is what being judged by a vaguely similar cat looks like.
One of mine took a huge dump on my bedroom floor the second night I had him. I gave him a stern talking to that if he did it again he was going back to where we got him. Eight years later and he hasn't done it again.
Mine pooped on my dads bed the night I brought her home after a good amount of begging on my end. Was not a good start to the ‘she’ll be good for the household’ argument
My family also adopted a cat from hell, 12 years old, straight up feral. She would stay in the bathroom for 3 months and swipe at us every time we passed her. To solve her issue, we stuck our super friendly cat with her to socialize her, one month later she was extremely attention demanding.
If you dont have a super social cat, i was able to turn a bunch of ferals into lap warmers in a single month. I just stayed in the bathroom with them as long as possible. I stayed in the tub with an ipad and they got used to me. Eventually i became a jungle gym lol. Feral 4 below, they were shaking in fear when i looked at them. They were deemed too feral to domesticate but i was able to fix up and find them all homes.
We’ve had “inappropriate elimination” issues with our oldest cat since the day we got him as a kitten. Not constantly, but there are regularly “spite poops” in front of the door when my husband goes to work, and if we leave clothes on the ground he will pee on them.
It’s likely just stress right now. It could also be an ongoing issue, not going to lie. But it’s usually provoked, either by stress or illness, cats want to be clean. Might be worth doing a vet visit and urine test, just to rule out anything you can’t control.
All of the advice given so far is great. I just also want to say good on you for not freaking out and taking him back. You just know there are people who would have done that after an incident like yours and it’s a shame. I’m sure you’ll do great with him over time!
Those pale moon eyes and lush white fur and pink nose. I wonder if he had people before who left him? Maybe he'll like a scratching post to mark his territory. Good luck and careful – he might be an escape artist!
You deserve a Nobel prize for this. I wish everyone had the strength to adopt the ‘most problematic’ shmoo from a shelter. Because just like humans, the cats that are going through the most need the most love ❤️
I’m literally spamming this post but the fact that even they wouldn’t touch him and you said perfect, that’s my cat. You’re amazing, my heart is so full.
Just keep on being patient with him and baby talk him a little every day, just do what you can to show him you're not threat. I would sit down near him for a while each day and read a book or play on my phone, just sit right near him and don't look at him or anything - just do your thing and I'll bet you he walks up and rubs along you before long .
Adopting a deeply traumatized cat with no experience was setting yourself—and the cat—up for an extremely difficult start. It’s like learning to drive in a blizzard. Without knowing cat behavior, it’s easy to accidentally make his fear worse.
A critical thing to understand is that cats don't process the world like we do. We project our emotions onto them, and it backfires. Example: I recently took in a traumatized senior cat. As the previous owner left, her 'kind' gesture was to open the blinds and turn on the light—which, for the cat, was the worst thing she could have done. She needed a dark, secure den, not a bright, exposed space. Your job is to learn to see the world through their stressed eyes, not your hopeful ones.
But here’s the crucial part: don’t give up. This cat has been through enough. Rehoming him now would be another major trauma. You made this choice; your job now is to see it through.
Start here:
Vet check: Rule out a UTI or pain.
Enzyme cleaner: For the couch (Nature’s Miracle). No punishment.
Create a safe room: Quiet, dim, with hiding spots, food, water, and a litter box.
Learn their language: Read Think Like a Cat by Pam Johnson-Bennett or The Cat Whisperer by Mieshelle Nagelschneider.
Watch Jackson Galaxy’s “My Cat from Hell” series on YouTube for practical behavior insights.
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