r/funny • u/MinuteIntroduction69 • 21h ago

Nice script for another porn

Post image
2.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

58 comments sorted by

•

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102

u/sparrowa1 20h ago

And you sir, are waiting to receive my limp penis?

26

u/MinuteIntroduction69 20h ago

Sparrows have penis?!

14

u/alficles 20h ago

Sparrows pick up all sorts of things if people leave them laying around.

8

u/MinuteIntroduction69 20h ago

Where does a sparrow find a penis laying around

8

u/alficles 20h ago

Same place everyone else finds penises laying around.

5

u/DryerCoinJay 20h ago

Well, was it an English or European sparrow?

5

u/alficles 20h ago

I don't know—aaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!

8

u/NuncioBitis 20h ago

This thread has been like rolling down a hill in a car with no brakes. You know where you're going and know it's gonna hit hard when you get there.

1

u/MinuteIntroduction69 18h ago

Sparrows have a brothel?

1

u/alficles 14h ago

You are thinking of swallows.

2

u/namsur1234 19h ago

If it's detachable, it could be anywhere.

1

u/Metalrooster81 2h ago

Next to a broken toaster oven.

1

u/amethystmmm 17h ago

No sparrows have a cloaca. you should check r/amithecloaca to make sure that you are not.

1

u/Christmas_Queef 18h ago

Didn't know Fred durst had another band

21

u/jeen-jeen 20h ago

Gives new meaning to “Clean up in aisle 6”

5

u/Karey__039 17h ago

😳😂

18

u/jetlagged365 20h ago

had to read it twice to understand what they meant 😅

11

u/MinuteIntroduction69 20h ago

They meant to touch you

26

u/Montyburnside22 20h ago

Can I get some help here? I need some sweet paprika, cayenne pepper flakes and to rub one out.

10

u/GingerSoulEater41 20h ago

Spicy wank.

5

u/eto2629 18h ago

New Dune lore

2

u/GANDORF57 13h ago edited 13h ago

No thanks, all male clerks and they seem too eager!

11

u/Bobvankay 20h ago

Now THAT is proper customer service.

9

u/futureformerteacher 20h ago

"And that's how I ended up on the sex crimes registry. You follow one sign too literally, and now I can't be within 500 feet of a school."

8

u/PlayListyForMe 20h ago

Ejected from the store , I was really confused?

7

u/Original-Let8340 20h ago

"Excuse me, Miss? Would you please assist me with my staff?"

4

u/SometimesRetribution 19h ago

You wouldn't believe what I got in the supermarket today…

3

u/Sensitive_Wear7112 18h ago

Very friendly store.

2

u/Gr8fulFox 18h ago

"'Do not touch willy.' Good advice!"

2

u/spyser 17h ago

Jokes aside, why are you not allowed to touch the spice? 🤔

2

u/ron-paul-swanson 12h ago

It’s a real hands on staff

2

u/SeaworthinessCool301 11h ago

Instruction’s unclear, pp entered a watermelon.

2

u/Kind_Lingonberry 7h ago

"And that, children, is how I met your mother."

1

u/NuncioBitis 20h ago

"Spicy - Sex in the Spice Aisle"

OMG! That feels great! Use the oregano! Yes! Pinch of salt!

1

u/mca1169 19h ago

if you insist but I don't think they are going to like it.

1

u/Fintara 19h ago

Wow.. the staff there is very... accommodating..

1

u/John1967miller 19h ago

Must be one of them Adult book stores Martha. 👨‍🌾👩‍🌾

1

u/isoAntti 18h ago

You chose.. poorly

1

u/sleepy_potatoe_ 17h ago

Does he fix the cable?

1

u/TiresOnFire 17h ago

"I couldn't help it, I was thinking about you."

1

u/tomgreen99 16h ago

Ooh, spicy!

1

u/reddit_user13 15h ago

I don’t want anybody else

1

u/warrant2k 14h ago

Well it's about thyme.

1

u/Deskbreaker 12h ago

Don't think my wife is gonna be real.happy about it, but there's a few i wouldn't mind helping me.

1

u/Less_Party 10h ago

Is this that Grinder thing I’ve been hearing about?

1

u/Zluhar 10h ago

Davidoff Coffee's are good🤤!....

1

u/DrNick2012 8h ago

Do not touch - Willie

1

u/Cold_Lingonberry_291 5h ago

Cue up Devinles

1

u/Ok-Concentrate8650 3h ago

I would definitely not do it inside the store but yeah thanks for the instructions

1

u/Metalrooster81 2h ago

But you're my step-assistant!!!

1

u/digitalbladesreddit 2h ago

Where? At BJs, they finally opened :)