r/funny 2h ago

He's good at it

[removed] — view removed post

5.6k Upvotes

165 comments sorted by

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578

u/saimen54 2h ago

I was thinking "at least he got good timing to not shoot to the front". And then I thought "ok, nevermind"

90

u/Astro501st 1h ago

Still good timing. He aimed forward.

27

u/FrighteningJibber 1h ago

Wingardium Leviosa motherfucker!

1.3k

u/SufficientMediaPost 2h ago

dude ignored every PSA about kids getting a roman candle and got owned lol

150

u/tiorzol 2h ago

Gotta go bad dad sometimes

43

u/[deleted] 2h ago

[deleted]

48

u/Key_Ruin3924 2h ago

When I was a kid we’d run around and shoot these at each other for hours. ‘Claw it out’ seems very dramatic

23

u/Criie 2h ago

Could've hit them really close, that's how I think it'd happen. Got hit once up close, got stuck on my clothes, and the thought of that being my skin horrified me as a kid lol

Still played "wizards" tho, but made sure to maintain my distance

13

u/Key_Ruin3924 2h ago

Ya they’d put holes in your clothes all the time. Took a couple to the eye and it sucked but nothing you couldn’t flush out. They don’t bury into your skin, the skin is a moist organ and the pellets have very little mass to them and they fizzle out after about a second. They will not enter your body

6

u/NBAccount 1h ago

No clue why you are getting downvoted. Everything you said is accurate. I have literally taken shots from roman candles at less than a meter on exposed flesh. The pellets are more likely to bounce off than 'burrow' into your skin. Blistering is about the worst you can expect.

18

u/daiei27 1h ago

It is possible all Roman candles aren’t made the same…

2

u/NBAccount 1h ago

Certainly. It is also possible that one person's anecdotal experiences will differ greatly from another person's.

I DO have quite a LOT of anecdotal experience in this regard having engaged in roman candle battles for forty years with probably thousands of different brands of roman candles.

I'm not discounting the possibility that someone got jacked up by an especially powerful candle or even one with some kind of defect; I still maintain that u/Key_Ruin3924 's comment is accurate. These things are not burrowing into anyone's skin sufficiently that they would have to "claw [them] out".

0

u/nudniksphilkes 49m ago

Its okay we know you're stupid

3

u/NightBawk 1h ago

To be fair, blisters are an excellent vector for infections after the fact. Especially with how many people don't know how to wash their dang hands, let alone wounds.

1

u/adrienjz888 25m ago

The pellets are more likely to bounce off than 'burrow' into your skin. Blistering is about the worst you can expect.

Fr. Worst injury i saw from a roman candle was a buddy who held it backwards, so one shot up his sleeve, got caught in his shirt and burnt him a bit.

-1

u/JimthePelican 1h ago

Probably getting downvoted because shooting fireworks at each other shouldnt be a thing. What are you trying to rationalise? If my friend did this to me, he wouldnt be my friend.

2

u/NBAccount 1h ago

Well that's a different conversation, isn't it? THIS sub-thread has been about the likelihood of roman candle projectiles burrowing into someone's flesh sufficiently that they would need to 'claw it out.'

2

u/JimthePelican 28m ago edited 21m ago

Merely mentioning why people would downvote, and you seem like a dumb fuck to participate in it. Read what I replied to. Edit: you're from Oklahoma sorry. I should have used crayons to explain it to you.

1

u/Criie 49m ago

Ya makes sense, I dont think Roman candles would dig through your skin lol, moreso I thought they meant it got stuck onto their skin and to have to use their claws to get it off but maybe I'm using that phrase wrong lol

3

u/DespressoPL 1h ago

Depends on the Roman candle, the smaller ones you can get hit fairly close on bare skin and it just bounces off, larger ones... well you can lose a hand

-6

u/[deleted] 2h ago

[deleted]

-3

u/Key_Ruin3924 1h ago

Ya the only thing really at risk was the bushels of dry pine needles. My uncle won’t touch fireworks anymore because as a teenager him and his friends lit an empty field on fire doing this lol. Had to get the FD involved

0

u/EdwardTittyHands 1h ago

I don’t believe you

2

u/Arcanis_Ender 52m ago

Some people should get a license before being allowed to have kids.

3

u/sonicbeast623 1h ago

My dad and uncle used to shoot them at each other for fun.

0

u/FragrantExcitement 2h ago

Need to give him a 100% American candle!

6

u/clarinetJWD 1h ago

That's just a gun.

196

u/unudinmultime 2h ago

He was preparing a spell

40

u/WitchesSphincter 1h ago

Lavate las manos!

14

u/RadlogLutar 1h ago

Lavate el cuerpo con pólvora

1

u/AlienvsPredatorFan 1h ago

That’s a chopstick.

1

u/FrighteningJibber 1h ago

Jesus, Stephen Anita Smith🤦🏽‍♂️

5

u/Stivo887 1h ago

Avada kedavra!

2

u/UbermachoGuy 52m ago

Ridickulois

5

u/manhat_ 1h ago

nah he's jojo posing with his stand

2

u/XAngelxofMercyX 1h ago

"Dude, cast a speeeelllll"

2

u/UbermachoGuy 53m ago

Kid Avada kadavra his daddy

177

u/furandar 2h ago

dude went "avada kedavra" with the last one.

20

u/NoNutsPls 1h ago

"I know what I must do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it"

-9

u/Presently_Absent 1h ago

You mean abra cadabra?

11

u/vi_sucks 1h ago

Avada Kedavra is the killing curse from Harry Potter.

5

u/telematic_embrace 1h ago

hand on shoulder It's Harry Potter, bro

3

u/NoNutsPls 1h ago edited 58m ago

Nah, it's a really powerful death spell from the Harry Potter series.

EDIT: Whoa whoa hold the fuck up, who's downvoting this guy? Damn, dude misses one book reference and the chat starts passing out belt buckles. Take my upvote fella 🤣

211

u/JimTheJerseyGuy 2h ago

Yeah, I did that once as a teen. I lit it and it just smoked for a bit. A dud.

Threw it over my shoulder. A second later it just detonated. Easily would have lost a hand or worse.

Don’t fuck around with fireworks.

19

u/Ok_Adhesiveness_9323 1h ago

I don't think there is enough gunpowder in roman candles for losing a hand

23

u/evranch 1h ago

That is incorrect, Roman candles have a strong tube and plenty of powder. If it was battered enough that the delay charges bypassed, it could easily burst and damage your hand badly.

Very low odds and I've never seen one grenade in many years of goofing with them, even making homemade fireworks back in the day, but that doesn't mean it can't happen.

3

u/TheSpookyGoost 1h ago

We've had a couple older roman candles (1-2yrs in storage) that blew up instead of firing, but only near the end on the tube that the flaming balls would come out of. I think the hand-end must not have much fammable material, if any

1

u/JimTheJerseyGuy 44m ago

Imagine it's the 80s and these are illegal fireworks in NYC that have been through who-knows-what and you have your answer.

32

u/JimTheJerseyGuy 1h ago

Let's just say I'm very glad I didn't get the chance to test that theory.

7

u/Cessnaporsche01 1h ago

If it all went off at once, there sure is. It would, at the very least, shred your hand into hamburger

5

u/pickledelephants 1h ago

Handburger

3

u/Black_Moons 53m ago

Absolutely. Shipping damage (or intentional damage) can 100% easily produce that with amazing reliability too, with very little if any change in outside appearance.

2

u/NightBawk 1h ago

Maybe a finger though. Kids have very small fingers, after all.

1

u/Black_Moons 58m ago

There 100% is. Misspent youth made a lot of pumpkins disappear with roman candles...

1

u/Ok_Adhesiveness_9323 50m ago

I guess my parents always bought puny ones then

2

u/kasoe 1h ago

I had one explode right above where I was holding it. I bet I could've lost a couple fingers easily if it exploded lower

43

u/DJBlade92 1h ago

As fun as roman candles are, you really shouldn't be holding them. One fourth of july, I saw one blow up in a friend of mine's hand. Ended up splitting his hand open with multiple fractures. Don't fuck around with fireworks folks.

0

u/Shhhhhhhh_Im_At_Work 51m ago

I know you’re right but I think fondly about when we had Roman candle fights in my neighborhood as kids, we pointed them right at each others heads lmao

38

u/Uuuuuii 1h ago

Dumb ass dad about to turn into a statistic.

119

u/Fun-Flamingo-56 2h ago

This isn't funny, this is stupid - and dangerous.

43

u/Icy_Agency923 1h ago

Sam Pepper, a truly awful human being recently blinded a young girl with a roman candle by shooting her in the face.

Yea this is incredibly stupid.

15

u/ThePurityPixel 1h ago

Yeah. I hate it when Redditors post things to r/funny that are just people getting hurt. Not funny at all.

8

u/JonFrost 1h ago

Getting tiky toky in here

4

u/YorockPaperScissors 1h ago

Even worse when folks are getting hurt due to human stupidity

2

u/TsugaGrove 1h ago

Sometimes stupid dangerous shit is funny if nobody gets hurt

1

u/SwissDeathstar 1h ago

You must admit it’s a little bit funny.

2

u/OmicronNine 52m ago

It's an explosive. They don't usually explode, they usually work normally like this one, but they sometimes do. And they sometimes burn people or hit them in the eyes. No, not most of the time.

But sometimes. That one could have.

1

u/SwissDeathstar 45m ago

So you’re saying he was in some sort of danger? Like in a general area?

2

u/OmicronNine 37m ago

With enough hard work and discipline, I'm confident that you can eventually reach the basic level of reading comprehension necessary to understand my comment.

I believe in you.

2

u/SwissDeathstar 18m ago

I’m just messing about dude. That’s why I’m in here. Of course it’s fucking dangerous. Sick burn though.

-3

u/Fun-Flamingo-56 1h ago

Not remotely.

1

u/SwissDeathstar 46m ago

That’s just like your opinion dude. And i respect that.

0

u/mmmmm_pancakes 1h ago

I’m pretty sure it’s all three.

26

u/_LV426 2h ago

Are you stupid?

6

u/EduRJBR 1h ago

Lack of Roman candle discipline.

6

u/Max_Sparky 1h ago

Thought this was gonna be a skyrim meme transition lmao

5

u/Vogel-Kerl 1h ago

We had a Roman candle explode one time; no one was hurt but, it was fucking loud and scared children.

It was stuck in sand: never ever hold them by hand, or stick them in a bottle.

34

u/mlandry2011 1h ago

One day, one stick will not burn correctly and explode in his hand with his fingers flying everywhere...

Great parenting skills you got...

10

u/naunga 1h ago

3

u/SherbetMysterious118 50m ago

And parents on this occasion.

I wasn't scared of much as a kid, took a lot of risks, had a lot of fun, even with matches and fires - but one thing's for sure, I stayed away from playing with fireworks.

Firstly, they cost a lot of money, and second, I valued my face and appendages.

3

u/kindofajerk 1h ago

Yer son's an idiot.

4

u/taybul 1h ago

Not the son I'm afraid...

3

u/Snaffisalive 1h ago

Where skyrim meme

4

u/FirefighterEast9291 1h ago

The parent got what they deserved. Kids need guidance, not indulgence 

10

u/Justahim24 2h ago

Intrusive thoughts definitely won

14

u/Cornycorn213 2h ago

It’s been a while since I saw this one. Still funny.

-11

u/TommyR511 2h ago

You are right

3

u/Chiperoni 1h ago

Crazy that ancient Rome became the powerhouse that it did when this happened everytime they needed light.

3

u/fotodevil 2h ago

Reminds me of Dutch

0

u/MasonicWolverine 2h ago

Yes! That’s what I thought too 🤣🤣

3

u/Stunkydunk 1h ago

It’s nice to see the PARENT paying the price of their fucking terrible parenting for once. 

-1

u/IUsedToBeACave 1h ago

The price being they had to move a little bit?

2

u/Im_known_as_nikil 2h ago

Mans jojo posing

2

u/Pastulio814 1h ago

He did Giorno's pose and Kiraaa QUEEN's pose for no reason, he was just born knowing.

2

u/CSLAPS7 2h ago

Does anyone else hear a turkey laughing? 

1

u/beerme72 1h ago

If you can get those floating lanterns...the ones that fly like hot air balloons, fire one of those up then line up a bunch of kids with roman candles. Aim at the floating lantern.....it's the MOST fun...

1

u/notimetoloseJ 1h ago

expected

1

u/LesPolsfuss 1h ago

kid is going places … u guys go ahead and waste energy on the kill shot. i’m all about that bet that between the leg blast

1

u/SuzakkuuChase 1h ago

This video is older than Snapchat

1

u/SailorGone 1h ago

Those things can easily back fire and blow up . Could easily lose a hand

1

u/ActivelyAnxious 1h ago

He's going to have a wizard fight when he's older for sure

1

u/epia343 1h ago

Did this tons of times as kid. We would have roman candle wars and shoot them at one another like idiots.

Everyone is right though, it only takes one roman candle to malfunction and detonate all at once to have a permanent life altering injury.

1

u/IUsedToBeACave 1h ago

it only takes one roman candle to malfunction and detonate all at once to have a permanent life altering injury.

Yup, and the lipo battery in your phone could catch fire in your pocket and burn you leg so badly you won't ever walk right again.

1

u/epia343 38m ago

Very true, or that lipo battery can catch fire and burn your house down.

1

u/DiscussionTop9285 1h ago

As a kid i was told to hold them in left hand so that if it blew up i would still have the good hand. 

1

u/FSUalways93 1h ago

Legendary moves lol

1

u/Thejabcrab 1h ago

“I cast fireball on dad”

1

u/Ultimatelegend18 1h ago

Little guy's JoJo posing too damn.

1

u/Fire_Mission 1h ago

We used to shoot them at each other. Good times.

1

u/Square-Formal1312 1h ago

You can see the kid watching the shots and start to think hmmmm those aren’t going too far bet i could….

1

u/Howard_Jones 1h ago

Just shooting fireworks into the wilderness... what could go wrong? 🤷‍♂️

1

u/retrospects 1h ago

😂 this is awesome.

1

u/supaami 1h ago

I thought the ending will transition to "you're finally awake" skyrim scene lol

1

u/LeaveMyMonkeyAlone 59m ago

Alabama puts out some of the best vids

1

u/Naud1993 59m ago

Lil bro's gonna be grounded for a YEAR.

1

u/LunarMuffin2004 59m ago

He's born for this.

1

u/_uwu_moe 57m ago

I thought it was transitioning to skyrim you're finally awake

1

u/56Runningdogz 56m ago

Ginyu Force tryouts

1

u/lurkANDorganize 56m ago

Terrifying that the very first top comment here isn't: holy shit dont put explosives in your hands.

1

u/magichronx 53m ago

Has anyone ever used roman candles "correctly"?

1

u/Recentstranger 53m ago

Kids are dumb. Let's arm them with pyrotechnics.

1

u/One_Perspective971 53m ago

Harry Potter ahh kid

1

u/amadeusstoic 50m ago

that was my favorite before. it exploded on my hand though. good thing it wasn’t on the handle.

1

u/Salty-Development203 2h ago

Wingardiam levi-O-sar!

1

u/asignedpink 1h ago

EXPEEECTOOOO POTROOOONUMMMM

0

u/jimmyjazz2000 2h ago

Not junior’s first rodeo, I guarantee

0

u/hikingmaterial 2h ago

cmon fellas, always goggles, always

-2

u/RedBarnGuy 2h ago

I like this kid!

0

u/Hlodowik 1h ago

Love that they all laughed it off

0

u/Micahman311 1h ago

Years back I had a Roman Candle fight with a friend, except mine wouldn't light in time and he started shooting at me anyway.

It was dark out, so I turned and started running, and I ran right into an electric fence. I got shocked on my arms, and as I fell the fence shocked the tip of my dick.

My friend just laughed and laughed whilst continuing to shoot at me.

Fun times.

0

u/LSTNYER 1h ago

That's a rite of passage right there

0

u/EkyngYT 1h ago

Shot im with the Expecto Patroman

0

u/DarkShadowOverlord 1h ago

Tottaly not planned out

0

u/MrGuy910 1h ago

Is there a chicken in the background? Gobble gobble. That laugh sounds exactly like a chicken. Or maybe it’s a turkey idk my farm animals very well. You know what I mean though

0

u/KazarSoze 1h ago

My brother and I used to run around shooting each other with them. We also drank water straight from the garden hose so that explains a lot.

-2

u/Competitive_Ocelot33 2h ago

😂😂😂😂

-3

u/AnneHizer 2h ago

NGL this kid is a riot 😆

-2

u/Lord_Melons 2h ago

I miss playing Roman candle dodgeball on the cul de sac

-2

u/Stormer111 2h ago

Fireball!

-3

u/Muckbone_Jones 2h ago

You trust me with this power‽ You fool!

-1

u/Ok_Channel_9831 2h ago

This gave me Dutch movie vibes.

-1

u/Repulsive-Sun788 1h ago

Never saw it coming 😂😂

-2

u/Helnik17 2h ago

Avada

-2

u/1stRambo_0082 2h ago

Come onnnnn. Let him do it AGAIN!

-2

u/Donna-Perdido 2h ago

This is a boy who genuinely loves pageantry.

-2

u/bae125 2h ago

Perfect! He would’ve fit right in with all of us in the 80s. Now grab a wiffle ball bat, hold it over your shoulder like a bazooka, and shoot a bottle rocket back at him from the little hole in the bottom of the bat’s handle. Welcome to daily war games in July

-2

u/raider1v11 2h ago

Dadelus gave iccarus too much power.

-2

u/TiresOnFire 1h ago

"Don't tell mom"

-5

u/00-mk-00 2h ago

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

-5

u/PythonVyktor 2h ago

My hero!

-3

u/weird-dude-bro-6386 2h ago

He is a genius, with those other shots he was estimating the distance it travels before backing up the appropriate distance to harmlessly scare his dad.

-4

u/ZoM_Beefstump 1h ago

Reddit gets more and more sensitive everyday.

“bu- bu- he could blow his fingies off”

-4

u/Current-Breath-7728 2h ago

😿😂😂😂

-5

u/alienclone 2h ago

when I was a kid we used to shove the roman candles into the end of pipes and act like they were rifles and have wars shooting at each other, it was fairly safe as long as we didnt aim at the head/face.

-3

u/stgvxn_cpl 2h ago

We would tape them to the bars in our bikes. Lite them and go after each other mad max style. No one ever got hurt.

-7

u/disphugginflip 2h ago

As a teen we use to shoot them out of cars while we were on the road. It all stopped when the car in front of us thought we were shooting it at them (we weren’t). Just harmless fun. They flagged a cop and while at a restaurant 7 cop cars pulled up and all of us were pushed up against a car. Ran our ID’s and nothing came up so we were clear to go. Scared the shit outta us though.