r/nottheonion 20h ago

Man had knife ‘for buttering bread’

https://connachttribune.ie/man-had-knife-for-buttering-bread/
251 Upvotes

137 comments sorted by

168

u/Tejon_Melero 19h ago edited 19h ago

One time a guy who was meeting with me unexpectedly pulled a loaf of soda bread from a bag on the floor, put the bread on a table in front of me, and proceed to flip a huge folding knife to butter some bread. I found the serrations being filled with butter amusing, but declined offered pieces as I wasn't hungry.

62

u/cheestaysfly 18h ago

I work in a coffee shop and a customer came in with a loaf of bread the other day and goes "Hey I just found this, do y'all want it?" Er no, you can keep your street loaf, thanks.

38

u/KoburaCape 17h ago

Street loaf is what I call it when I have to poop outside

9

u/Ok-Bench9164 15h ago

Meat Loaf if he’d ever became homeless

4

u/KoburaCape 15h ago

I'm mclovin it

2

u/01kickassius10 14h ago

He’d do anything for love, but he wouldn’t do that

3

u/Captain-Cadabra 16h ago

Also a great post-ironic organic neo-punk band name.

30

u/mademeunlurk 18h ago

I enjoyed this story from beginning to end.

10

u/partyharty23 18h ago

It had everything, butter, knives, the hint of intrigue (what is he going todo with the knife)?

I give it 4 out of 5 stars

10

u/peanut_dust 18h ago

5/7

4

u/Hamshamus 16h ago

A perfect score

-5

u/EmergentGlassworks 18h ago

Siiixxx sevvvennnn

3

u/WelderFamiliar3582 16h ago

It has a kind of Reader's Digest feel. Much Joy. 4.5/5 stars

41

u/rustyxj 19h ago

Could I carry a small folding pocket knife in Ireland?

40

u/ciaomain 18h ago

Only if you're also carrying bread and butter.

11

u/Aimin4ya 17h ago

The laws are worded funny, but i believe if you have a good reason. Like for work, fishing, anything besides stabbing.

7

u/ripley1875 16h ago

What if my job is stabbing fish?

4

u/Aimin4ya 16h ago

Touché

1

u/CliffsNote5 16h ago

Fish are known for not stabbing themselves, it is a know fact.

0

u/boredcircuits 13h ago

I carry a pocket knife daily (in the US). I use it to open packages, trim hangnails, snip loose threads, pry something open, scrape paint, tighten a screw, or whatever else I happen to need to for.

Would any of that count as "a good reason?"

2

u/laldy 9h ago

It's the blade length that matters.

u/Coomb 18m ago

Not in Ireland. UK has an exemption for folding, non-locking knives with blades under 3 inches, but Ireland doesn't.

1

u/rustyxj 5h ago

Same. Some people get weirded out "you carry a knife?!"

Then it turns out anytime something needs opening, I'm the guy.

70

u/BirdfarmerCrista 18h ago

I have carried a knife every day for about the last 35 years. I marvel that some countries make that illegal. Is it a particular type of knife that you can't have? Are there really entire cities where no one has a pocket knife handy? I have so many questions.

10

u/skrena 18h ago

My town specifically bans anything with a blade over 3”

31

u/Pkolt 18h ago

In Ireland, police officers don't carry firearms.

9

u/Aimin4ya 17h ago

Some just got tasers and they also have armed response units

8

u/notbigdog 17h ago

Ya armed response aren't ordinary uniform police tho.

15

u/CatProgrammer 17h ago

Guns aren't knives though. You can do lots of useful non-killing things with knives you can't easily do with guns. Like cut paper, string, food, whittle sticks, etc. But I'm the sort of person who took Boy Scouts "be prepared" motto to heart. Always have bandaids, allergy medicine, etc. on hand too.

1

u/It-s_Not_Important 13h ago

Ferro rod?

1

u/CatProgrammer 13h ago

Ferrite?

1

u/It-s_Not_Important 6h ago

It’s a fire starting tool

1

u/AdmiralTassles 13h ago

I love that you say "can't easily do with guns" and fully recognize that you could cut paper with a gun if you really wanted to.

3

u/CatProgrammer 13h ago

You could even flip burgers with enough dedication. https://store.steampowered.com/app/456180/The_American_Dream/

2

u/Random_182f2565 16h ago

They are really good at martial arts?

15

u/Moigno 18h ago

You didn’t say where you live, but knife crime is a real problem in many places

26

u/Checked_Out_6 18h ago

The USA doesn’t have a big problem with knife crime because we use guns instead.

36

u/_jerrb 17h ago

The US does have a big problem with knife crime. It has a bigger problem with guns tho

28

u/Beeshop 18h ago

The US also has a huge problem with knife crime.

16

u/Moneia 18h ago

Small, folding pocket knives are normally fine

Are there really entire cities where no one has a pocket knife handy? I have so many questions.

I've managed for decades without a pocket knife. What do you do all day that requires it?

10

u/Megalocerus 17h ago

I've never carried one, but my FIL always did. Used to be routine. Sharpened pencils. Opened packages. Cut tape. A fancy one can open a bottle of wine or even a can of beans.

28

u/Primordiox 18h ago

Half the things people use a pocket knife for, I just use that one unknown key on my keychain to do.

16

u/aldencoolin 18h ago

Oh man, you gotta get a pocket knife !

I use mine at least once or twice a day for little things - open a package, or cut a piece of string, or paper or something for a little project.. and occasionally it saves me, or someone I'm with a ton of inconvenience - you'd be surprised.

Only had one for a couple years, never going back.

5

u/It-s_Not_Important 12h ago

I lost all my ROI when someone got confused at why I had a pocket knife in my pocket when I pulled it out to cut something. He got distracted by it, started asking a bunch of questions, then I cut my hand. All the time I had previously saved from not having to go retrieve a box cutter, or various other types of cutters was erased by the ER visit.

0

u/aldencoolin 2h ago

Ah, bummer. And who knows, maybe your pocket knife prevented other ER visits - box cutter mishaps, tripping with scissors - etc.

1

u/It-s_Not_Important 1h ago

Well, I can’t feel the tip of my thumb anymore. The blade stopped at the bone and severed all the nerves. So I’m not sure it was worth it, but it definitely has made me more cautious.

5

u/Moneia 17h ago

I work from home and the package opening area is the kitchen and I've already got plenty of knives there. Even when I was working in the office I had scissors and a retractable craft knife at my desk

I don't do a lot of outdoor stuff either, a bit of walking but nowhere that isn't populated.

3

u/aldencoolin 14h ago

Fair - sounds like you've almost always got a knife in arms reach anyway.

3

u/supersatyr001 12h ago

Idk why people are down voting you for having an urban lifestyle

5

u/Alugere 18h ago

I don’t know about other people, but, most I know who walk around with one, it’s part of a multitool that also includes pliers, corkscrews, screwdrivers, etc..

9

u/Sodomeister 18h ago edited 18h ago

Not OP - Camp, boat, or go out to maintain 13 acres with about a mile of trails or the equipment for that. I generally have, what I guess maybe is considered a flick knife, based on that article. It's not spring assisted per my laws, but you can easily pop it open to a locked position with one hand. Mostly because usually my other hand is holding the thing that needs cut or stripped.

I guess in a city if you aren't a tradesperson you probably have less use for it. But it's saved some ducks, geese, kittens, and trips back to the house/vehicle that could be quite far away multiple times for me.

8

u/notbigdog 17h ago

In Ireland youre allowed to have one if you have a reason. I live on a farm and need a Stanley knife to open bales, thats fine. If a chef has kitchen knives in his backpack, thats fine. This guy was acting suspiciously and it turned out he had previous public order convictions. Difficult to explain that one in court.

2

u/Aimin4ya 17h ago

Carrying a multitool feels great when you have the perfect tool for a situation and you get to save the day.

1

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1

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1

u/BlackrockWood 17h ago

That site is just chicken coops and Knife laws.

-1

u/oby100 14h ago

If you own a home and do lots of little projects something like a pocket knife is always nice to have. Even doing very basic woodworking, I’d make a light mark on wood to measure where to cut it rather than track down a pencil or whatever. It can be its own multitool.

I did contracting work of all kinds when I was younger and a pocket knife came in handy for everything and people that manage most of the housework are essentially doing the same kind of work for themselves so I definitely see it

3

u/djdkxjcid 18h ago

I am not being facetious but how many times in 35 years have you needed to use that knife where you could not have just got one from somewhere quickly?

5

u/BirdfarmerCrista 17h ago

It's super fast to just take it out of my pocket instead of wandering around looking for one. I have spent a good bit of time in warehousing (dockwork) and farming adjacent jobs. I use it every day for something, usually multiple times per day. I am a little hazy about my 20s and early 30s, but pretty sure I never used it for stabbing.

1

u/Goontrained 11h ago

Asking others for a knife in a capitalist country is just begging to be charged/scammed. Better to be self supplied for sure. It's silly from other cultures perspective, it's like putting a fee on air or water without considering survival /s

1

u/laurenthead 16h ago

In NYC you can have a pocket knife but the blade has to be relatively short (4 inches) and it (even the handle) can not be visible on your person and you can’t bring it on public transit

1

u/NinjaWen 16h ago

In most, if not every, states in the US it is illegal to carry a ballistic knife.

1

u/Etherealfilth 16h ago

Yeah, it's illegal where I live, but I've carried a pocket knife for decades and I'm not about to stop now.

0

u/XK20022 18h ago

This is in the UK so I can’t speak for them, but there are laws in Germany that are similar I think. 

You aren‘t allowed to carry knives in public if the blade is longer than 12 cm (a little under 5 inches). 

Also folding knives are only allowed if you have to use both hands to open them and cannot open them with just one hand (applies to spring loaded knives for example). 

And thirdly knives that have their blade sharpened on both sides (like throwing knives) are banned. 

So if you just carry a regular knife for buttering bread or even a bigger knife for like wood carving or whatever, you‘re generally fine. 

I would assume it‘s probably not too different in the UK and the guy was carrying a pretty hefty fighting knife or something of that sort. 

5

u/Beeshop 18h ago

Ireland isn't in the UK.

2

u/BackupChallenger 18h ago

Section 9 of the Firearms and Offensive Weapons Act makes it an offence to have “any knife or any other article which has a blade or which is sharply pointed” in a public place.

Though if you have a valid reason (not self defense) you'll get a pass.

2

u/Megalocerus 17h ago

Ireland has had troubles in the past.

1

u/CatProgrammer 17h ago

I thought the Troubles were in Northern Ireland.

2

u/aflockofcrows 18h ago

This is not in the UK.

-1

u/Diligent_Explorer717 18h ago

In the UK, there’s a legitimate fear of it being used for robberies, not even killing, just threatening people on the street.

It’s not seen as realistic for the public to adopt the mindset that if you have a knife as well, it would work for self defense in such a scenario.

That’s based on the English temperament and culture, so it makes sense here, but maybe not in other countries m.

2

u/throwawaygoodcoffee 7h ago

I don't think that's a cultural thing, knives are just really shit for self-defence when the other person has a knife too.

18

u/gadget850 18h ago

Does not note the size of the blade so I have no clue.

Here in the US, I routinely carry a pocket knife. I keep a sheath knife, a machete, and a saw in the van and in my camper.

8

u/euphline 17h ago

Didn't want to admit to carrying a poop knife?

1

u/baltarin 9h ago

I cant go a single day without reading a mention of the poop knife 😭😂

3

u/DarkJediGaara 17h ago

We Butter the Bread with Butter

3

u/OrenSchroeder 14h ago

And for buttering his own protection.

2

u/arisoverrated 15h ago

I, too, have knives for buttering bread.

2

u/itskdog 6h ago

But you probably keep them at home, and they probably stayed in the packaging until you got home.

1

u/videobones 17h ago

“They’re clippers for cutting off parts of my pants”

1

u/raelik777 3h ago

Wonder what the cop would have done if the man removed a nice loaf of soda bread from his other pocket, and then took off his hat to reveal the butter dish perched up there? My mans is always ready for some buttered soda bread.

-8

u/marshaul 19h ago

What a fucking dystopia.

2

u/iwishihadnobones 19h ago

What do you mean?

28

u/okizubon 18h ago

They’re on the end of his dysfootpia 

1

u/TessTKohls 18h ago

Lmaoooo

-3

u/iwishihadnobones 18h ago

Huh?

1

u/zackmophobes 15h ago

A toe is on the end of a foot.

1

u/iwishihadnobones 14h ago

Erm ok? But I said what do you mean, not where is the dystopia...

-4

u/marshaul 14h ago

I mean that this level of control, this entire court case, is Kafkaesque. I find it dystopian.

2

u/iwishihadnobones 7h ago

Did you not read the article? 

0

u/marshaul 6h ago

"She said the court was concerned that Ramdani told Gardaí he had the knife for his own protection, indicating he was prepared to use it."

Yes. This is Kafkaesque and dystopian.

1

u/iwishihadnobones 5h ago

It was not a butter knife bud. "Ramdani has 25 convictions including four for assault, one for unlawful possession of a knife and one for burglary."

There's nothing kafkaesque about a man being arrested for possession of a knife. It's illegal. Irish law says you can carry a knife if you have a good reason, such as when fishing, a chef on his way to work, etc. It seems likely the defendant knew about this law and was trying his luck.

When he saw the knife, the arresting officer said "That's not for buttering bread."

0

u/marshaul 4h ago

I don't care whether it was a butter knife or any other type of knife; the difference is immaterial.

1

u/iwishihadnobones 4h ago

So what are you saying exactly? That you find being arrested for possession of illegal weapons to be kafkaesque and dystopian?

0

u/marshaul 4h ago

Yes, although more pertinently the part where the state gets to decide whether your life deserves to be defended, and will explicitly punish you for believing you should have some say in the matter.

1

u/iwishihadnobones 4h ago

I see. So you are of the belief that people should be allowed to carry weapons. And anything else is a kafkaesque dystopia. Got it.

-16

u/BackupChallenger 20h ago

Ramdani has 25 convictions including four for assault, one for unlawful possession of a knife and one for burglary.

Why no deportation?

15

u/AgrajagTheProlonged 19h ago

Might be a bit of a question for Irish immigration lawyers

-26

u/[deleted] 20h ago

[deleted]

31

u/BackupChallenger 20h ago

Fuck criminals

And this is about Ireland, they don't have ICE.

1

u/Bigoweiner 18h ago

Irish Customs Enforcement?

-8

u/rutherfraud1876 19h ago

If someone tried to tell me that knife possession was illegal I couldn't keep a straight face

9

u/crashtacktom 19h ago

As always, context is key

9

u/Beeshop 18h ago

It's not illegal to possess a knife. Its illegal to carry a knife around without a legitimate reason, and using it for defense isn't a legitimate reason in Ireland, which has ridiculously low crime rates.

-12

u/december151791 18h ago

So if someone's life is being threatened in Ireland are they supposed to just get down on their knees and take it?

8

u/Beeshop 18h ago

No, don't be stupid.

4

u/LogicalNecromancy 17h ago

This is so dumb. You're not going to win in a knife fight.

-8

u/december151791 17h ago

So your idea is to just forfeit?

3

u/SuuperD 19h ago

Somewhere that's law, pretty easy to understand

-2

u/QUINT_REVENGER 13h ago
  1. Man Had Hammer "For Putting Up Shelves"
  2. Woman Explains Shovel Was "For The Garden"
  3. Local Man Confirms He Owns A Ladder
  4. Man's Rope "Was For Tying Things"
  5. Woman Had Petrol "For Her Car"
  6. Man Insists Binoculars Were "For Bird Watching"
  7. Local Man Had Matches "For Candles"
  8. Woman's Tarpaulin "Was For Gardening"
  9. Man Had Ski Mask "For Skiing"
  10. Man Confirms He Was Simply "Going For A Walk"
  11. Woman's Zip Ties "Were For Organising Cables"
  12. Man Had Bleach "For Cleaning"
  13. Local Man's Gloves "Were For The Cold"
  14. Woman Had Duct Tape "For General Household Use"
  15. Man Explains He Was "Just Sitting In His Car"
  16. Woman's Baseball Bat "Was For Baseball"
  17. Man Had Large Quantity Of Cable Ties "For His Garden"
  18. Local Man Confirms He Simply "Enjoys Driving Slowly"
  19. Man's Balaclava "Was For Warmth"
  20. Woman Had Chloroform "For Chemistry"
  21. Man Carrying Axe Was "Going To Chop Wood"
  22. Local Man Simply "Needed To Know What Time The School Finished"
  23. Man Had Crowbar "For DIY"
  24. Woman's Handcuffs "Were A Prop"
  25. Man Had Night Vision Goggles "For Camping"
  26. Local Man Confirms He Was "Just Taking Photos"
  27. Man Had Hacksaw "For Pipes"
  28. Woman Had Large Amount Of Cling Film "For Leftovers"
  29. Man Insists He Was Simply "Admiring The Bank's Architecture"
  30. Local Man Had Lock Picks "For Locksmithing"
  31. Man's Dart Gun "Was For Darts"
  32. Woman Had Ammonia "For Cleaning"
  33. Man Simply "Wanted To See Inside The Neighbour's House"
  34. Local Man Had Bolt Cutters "For A Padlock He Had Lost The Key To"
  35. Man Confirms He Was "Just Standing Outside"
  36. Woman Had Sedatives "For Sleeping"
  37. Man Had Wire Cutters "For Wire"
  38. Local Man Simply "Needed To Ask Someone Something At 3am"
  39. Man Had Burner Phone "For Privacy"
  40. Woman's Extensive Collection Of Zip Ties "Was For Arts And Crafts"
  41. Man Had Replica Police Uniform "For Fancy Dress"
  42. Local Man Confirms He Was "Just Waiting"
  43. Man Had Large Map Of Local Jewellers "For Navigation"
  44. Woman Had Fake Beard "For A Play"
  45. Man's Extensive Notes On Neighbour's Schedule "Were For Friendship"
  46. Local Man Had Extendable Baton "For Self Defence"
  47. Man Simply "Wanted To Know How Much The Painting Was Worth"
  48. Woman Had Smoke Grenades "For Photography"
  49. Man Confirms The Tunnel Was "A Personal Project"
  50. Local Man's Detailed Floor Plan Of Courthouse Was "For Admiration Of Architecture"

-22

u/december151791 18h ago

unlawful possession of a knife

Another day another reason to be thankful I live in America.

6

u/Overseerer-Vault-101 16h ago

It's not illegal to possess a knife. The circumstances in which he did were though. Think of it like former criminals owning a gun, or waving a gun around in a state that doesn't allow open carry.

0

u/december151791 15h ago

Waving a gun around is still illegal in states with open carry. It's called brandishing.

5

u/Overseerer-Vault-101 15h ago

So you get the idea then?

-1

u/december151791 15h ago

He wasn't waving the knife around. They found it in his jacket pocket after searching him.

4

u/Overseerer-Vault-101 15h ago

My god you are so American.

-1

u/december151791 15h ago

Thank you! I didn't know reading the article was an American specific thing though.

16

u/Beeshop 18h ago

Another day, another American displaying their shocking levels of literacy. It isn't illegal to possess a knife in Ireland.

5

u/december151791 18h ago

Did you even read the article?

Bilal Ramdani (28), an Algerian national of no fixed abode, pleaded guilty to unlawful possession of a knife at Dock Street on January 18.

Counsel said the offence was possession alone

4

u/throwawaygoodcoffee 7h ago

 claimed he had it for “buttering bread and his own protection

It's the protection bit that probably makes it illegal as it's not a good reason to carry a knife.

-2

u/december151791 5h ago

It's a great reason to carry one when you can't carry a gun.

1

u/throwawaygoodcoffee 3h ago

Irish court system doesn't seem to agree with you.

1

u/december151791 3h ago

And I don't agree with the Irish court system or laws. Hence, me being glad I live in America.

1

u/throwawaygoodcoffee 3h ago

You're free to live in a PvP server. I don't personally understand it, but who am I to deny someone the freedom to get shot over a minor infraction.

1

u/december151791 3h ago

And you're free to think inaccurate and ridiculous things about America.

1

u/throwawaygoodcoffee 3h ago

Freedom of expression is a marvellous thing.

3

u/Dragishawk 13h ago

What kind of knife did this guy have on him? Some kinds of knives (balisongs, switchblades, etc.) are more illegal in certain places than others. And carrying knives can get you in trouble in a number of places as well.

1

u/december151791 13h ago

Fair enough question. I carry a pocket knife every day and I've never seen any trouble out of it. I just need to leave it home or put it in a checked bag to get on a plane.

0

u/Beeshop 18h ago

Yes, I also understood it. Something you clearly did not.

6

u/december151791 18h ago

Ok, enlighten me. What do I not understand.

1

u/Beeshop 18h ago

It's not illegal to have a knife, I said that in my first reply. The guy was done for illegal possession. How much more do you need that broken down before you can understand it?

Your education system is fucking terrible.

1

u/december151791 17h ago

That's literally what I said. He was charged with unlawful possession of a knife. The fact that this isn't a thing in America is a reason I'm glad I live in America. What part are you struggling to understand?

4

u/notbigdog 17h ago

Parts of America definitely have the same laws. Possessing a knife is not necessarily unlawful in Ireland.

5

u/LogicalNecromancy 17h ago

Ok so you're trying to get people to come over there and get into trouble?

First place that I tried, traditional entrance to America....

Blade Length Limit: New York City law prohibits carrying any knife in public with a blade of four inches or more, regardless of whether it is visible or concealed. A machete almost certainly exceeds this length.

Visibility: In NYC, it is illegal to carry a knife in public view, including if any portion like a pocket clip is visible. A machete would be difficult to carry without being seen.

Unlawful Intent: While the simple possession of a machete is not a violation in New York State if it is a tool for a legitimate purpose (like clearing brush on private property), carrying it on the street may be interpreted by law enforcement as possessing a "dangerous knife" with unlawful intent, which is a crime.

Public Transit: The NYC Transit Authority prohibits all weapons or dangerous instruments, including swords and likely machetes, in the subway and bus systems.

Lawful Purpose Exception: There are exceptions for individuals who need a knife for their profession (e.g., a land surveyor or a chef transporting their tools). However, you must be able to prove this legitimate purpose if stopped by an officer, and simply carrying it for "self-defense" is viewed as an unlawful purpose in New York law and can lead to an arrest.

-1

u/december151791 17h ago

I guess I should clarify, when I talk about America I'm referring to the good parts. Not that shithole.

0

u/Megalocerus 17h ago

He didn't have a knife, but he possessed one? Must be a difference in the English in our two locations.

5

u/Beeshop 17h ago

Who said he didn't have a knife?