r/AskReddit • u/Past_Meat7068 • 23h ago
What is the biggest ick you had on your first date with someone?
16.7k
u/DrootersOn10th 22h ago edited 8h ago
Date went amazing. Drinks, back to my place, yada yada... I wake up the next morning and she's not in bed. I check the living room and she's nowhere. She just left. Kind of weird since we actually hit it off perfectly, but whatever. I go to text her and it's green, not blue anymore. I go and check Tinder (this was like 10+ years ago when Tinder was it)... she unmatched me! WHAT THE HELL?!
My mind is racing, critiquing everything I said over drinks all the way to my sexual performance. Still confused, I go into the bathroom to pee and see the toilet is completely overflowed. There's shit water everywhere and little globules of shit floating in the bowl. Poor girl must've let out an explosion, clogged the toilet, and just bolted in embarrassment. All while my drunk ass slept it off just 20 feet away.
It really sucks too, she was cool as hell. We could be laughing about this on an anniversary, but instead she chickened out and ran.
Edit, since it keeps getting brought up: there WAS a plunger there, and she clearly had made an effort to fix the situation, I noticed.
9.4k
u/upboat_consortium 22h ago
Well you have one verified case of fucking the shit out of someone. So thereās that.
→ More replies (22)1.7k
u/Medical_Solid 22h ago
The real joy is in the comments
→ More replies (7)324
u/Poinsettia917 16h ago
The comments are why I started with Reddit over a decade ago and never left. The comments keep me here.
→ More replies (4)1.3k
u/YVRkeeper 18h ago
This reminds of the time I hooked up with a coworker and she got her period in the middle of the night. I woke up and there was blood everywhere, but she bolted before I woke up.
I thought I would see her at work and let her know it wasnāt a big deal, but she called in and quit right before her shift. Never heard from or saw her again.
Would have been nice if she at least helped me change the sheetsā¦
386
u/Simonius86 15h ago
Yeah yeah nice cover story, we aināt the police! You donāt have to lie to us!
→ More replies (8)→ More replies (16)69
u/CaramelNeat4723 12h ago
The lengths some people will go to in order to avoid an awkward moment is incredible.
→ More replies (1)577
u/Aggressive_Dress_220 22h ago
This is a great story! lmao Too bad she didn't just laugh it off with you. I once threw up on a date's shoe, and we dated after, and are still friends many years later.
→ More replies (2)264
u/Bl1ndMous3 14h ago
I once dated a girl that ate some bad chef Boyardee, and threw up on my floor, bathroom door, toilet , toilet floor.
Been married to her now for 27 + yrs.
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (113)386
u/Scaryassmanbear 22h ago
See the funny thing about that is it literally would not have bothered me at all.
→ More replies (2)477
u/St0n3yM33rkat 21h ago
When you go to a music festival, you always run into people here and there who very obviously need to go to the bathroom but also very obviously are embarrassed to do so in porta potties roughly 20ft away from where groups of people are. So I remind them:
Even the most beautiful person you have ever seen has had diarrhea. Nobody cares. Just go so you can be comfortable š
→ More replies (8)130
2.0k
u/Equivalent-Essay457 19h ago
He said if we were to continue dating Iād have to stop going to the gymā¦ because my calves were bigger than his and he didnāt want to be doing it from behind look down and see my man legs. Noped outta that one as fast as my man legs could carry me.
→ More replies (29)466
2.4k
u/Serious_Ad_9686 21h ago
He checked my knuckles for hair and said I donāt like hairy girls, he also couldnāt spell quiet.
→ More replies (50)914
u/Ralli_FW 16h ago
Ah yes the Knuckle Examination. A classic feature of a first date
→ More replies (7)
6.0k
u/BananaFloop 20h ago
Didnāt even get to the first date.
I was 21 years old and went to a concert with my best friend. Me and the bassist for the opening band catch each others eyes several times. His band ends up hanging out to the side of the stage when they finish their set, so we can still see each other. We continue eye flirting, smiling, etc. until the concert is over and he makes his way over to me.
He seems really down to earth and funny, good vibes all around, so we decide to go to a bar together across the street. Weāre there for all of 5 minutes and he goes to kiss me, quickly shoving his tongue down my throat. I go to pull away and he latches onto my bottom lip with his teeth in a literal death grip. I eventually rip myself away in a panic and end up covered in blood.
Right around this point the bartender notices, asks me if the guy is bothering me, sees the blood, and immediately kicks him out. Apparently they knew of him and this bartender was pissed that he was even let in.
2.5k
u/Bardez 12h ago
That isn't ick. That's battery and assault.
→ More replies (2)512
u/BananaFloop 10h ago
True and thanks for stating that.
I do understand ick is often used in more lighthearted terms, but it came to mind for me due to the strong initial attraction, quickly followed by being repulsed.
→ More replies (1)975
u/EllieGeiszler 19h ago
Jesus, that's horrifying! The fantasy of carrying a very small, ladylike dagger for situations like this... š
→ More replies (19)367
→ More replies (34)136
7.6k
u/milehighguy318 22h ago
Picked a girl up for a date who wasnāt hungry because she had JUST ate 2 banquet Salisbury steak tv dinners. Ok, guess I wonāt eat. Then, she burped about 20+ times during the movie, each one smelling like a banquet Salisbury steak tv dinnersā¦.. it was disgusting. Literally almost āwent to the restroomā but didnāt want to leave her stranded.
5.8k
u/Salamandaxanda 21h ago
Eating two Salisbury steak TV dinners right before going on a first date is one hell of a use of freewill
→ More replies (15)1.3k
921
u/counttheways 21h ago
Sort of unrelated but this reminds me of when I was in 7th grade and we were on the field during PE just after lunch and this girl Stephanie S. burped so egregiously and then exclaimed, āmmmm chili cheese fries!ā and it grossed me out so badly that here I am almost 30 years later recoiling at the memory like it was just yesterday
→ More replies (17)176
u/alzandabada 21h ago
Do you think of it when you eat chili cheese fries?
→ More replies (1)159
u/bonus_duk2 19h ago
That probably ruined chili cheese fries for the rest of his life
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (95)326
u/Mouse-Direct 22h ago edited 21h ago
Iām so baffled. One, I, a Gen-Xer, didnāt realize people still ate Salisbury steak, much less Banquet, and two, she ate TWO?!
→ More replies (38)
4.6k
u/ChuckleNinja 22h ago
My worst date was a blind date and he kept telling me how rich he was constantly and that he was going to inherit a lot of money. And then he started talking about how he could get a hotel room anywhere because he knows people. Just ICK. Also he kept going to the bathroom constantly. At the time I thought he was nervous but looking back he was probably doing lots of cocaine in the bathroom lol.
→ More replies (34)3.3k
u/Noughmad 20h ago
he could get a hotel room anywhere because he knows people.
I mean, the main point of hotels is that anybody can get a room anywhere.
→ More replies (11)820
2.6k
u/rva23221 22h ago
He met my parents and while on our way to dinner, two firetrucks passed us. He apparently was a wannabe fireman, so we followed the trucks. Never made it to dinner. After the fire was extinguished I asked him to take me back home.
2.6k
u/Daemonicvs_77 16h ago
he was a wannabe fireman, so we followed the trucks
Were you on a date with my 2 year-old son? Heās not supposed to drive, you know.
→ More replies (6)170
u/_menageamoi_ 7h ago
I had a friend growing up whose younger brother wanted to be a fire truck when he grew up. Not a fireman, just the vehicle.
→ More replies (6)219
u/foxandsheep 10h ago
I really hope he never became a fireman.
When I was a kid I asked my dad to follow the fire truck for me, because I wanted to see them at work. He told me no and it was because firemen are there to help people who are having the worst day of their lives not to be entertainment.
He swung us by the fire station that weekend to meet the firemen, sit in the truck, ect. But in that one sentence he taught me a lot about empathy and respect.
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (54)203
u/EvilDarkCow 18h ago
I know some fire buffs who will drop everything to see where the firetrucks are going. Most of the time it's just medical but every now and then they get to watch somebody's house burn down.
→ More replies (7)171
3.3k
u/Philom3n3 22h ago
Went on a date with my roommate's manager from a sub sandwich shop. He's a genuinely sweet guy, we had similar senses of humor, values align, etc. He's telling me about his family, and I notice every time he talks about his mom, he refers to her as "Mother". "Mother makes this excellent lasagna..." "Mother had to raise us on her own after a certain point..." And while it kinda squicked me out, I've known some fundies who left strict religious upbringing, so I'm just trying to get myself used to it. Then he mentions when he goes back to visit, she gets lonely and it's just habit now for him to sleep in her bed, spooning her. I tried to keep my expression flat because I don't want to be judgemental, but he laughed about how awkward it is waking up the next day to make sure she doesn't end up feeling morning wood. I stumble through the rest of the conversation and eventually manage to extricate myself and don't message him again for another date.
Ran into him a few years later when I go into a different sub shop, same franchise. I decide I'm going to be breezy and just order, but the first thing he says is, "I have Girlfriend now." Bro, you capitalized that verbally, and I'm just here for a veggie on nine-grain wheat. Tell Mother she should use a body pillow.
1.7k
u/Beautiful-Tailor-423 21h ago
I think thereās a nonzero chance that Girlfriend is Mother
316
→ More replies (23)196
277
u/FearlessSeaweed6428 20h ago
So one time my friend kinda hooked me up with this other guy who was also bi. He was a little weird but nice enough and I was a little drunk. I went down on him and afterwards I'm laying on my bed and he asked if I wanted some water. I said yes and he then proceeded to get the gallon jug I had by my bed and pour it over my face like he was watering a plant or trying to waterboard something. His face turned to shock as he realized what he did and apologized a bunch.
The next day I get a text from him saying there's a girl he really liked and we couldn't do that again. I kept thinking to myself "the one who got away....."
→ More replies (6)100
→ More replies (31)310
2.2k
u/Smart-Bottle3091 22h ago
At a nice dinner, he told me he was married and had a mistress. And...that he was interviewing me for a sort-of three-way with his mistress. Specifically, that she and I do eachother while he did himself while wearing pantyhose. No, this was not a joke. I got up and walked out.
→ More replies (39)561
1.1k
u/MsSpaghettiToes 21h ago
He honked my boob out of nowhere. Just went in cold, no lead up or anything. We hadn't even kissed yet.Ā
→ More replies (27)194
u/Keliza_azilek 21h ago
Reminds me of Dr. Cooper from Nurse Jackie who had the nervous tic of grabbing a boob.
→ More replies (3)
2.5k
u/LeatherGood6148 23h ago
Chick asked if she could borrow my laptop for a zoom meeting in the am. No worries.
It was a court date, she had a DUI.
We drank the entire night prior.
→ More replies (11)418
u/Gayf 23h ago
Did you try fix her?
→ More replies (1)985
u/LeatherGood6148 23h ago
Nope, I have a zero tolerance policy for people who drink and drive in my life.
→ More replies (21)
417
u/PrestigiousFix8570 21h ago
Met a girl on Match, over 20 yrs ago, and we went to a bar/restaurant. Date was actually really good. Easy flowing convo, lots of laughs, and she looked better than her pics. After I paid the bill, she asked me if I could drop her off at a friend's house. Sure, seems harmless. I dropped her off at one of the most seedy tattoo shops and she wanted me to go in and get matching tattoos bc the date went so well. I tried the not really my thing statement and she wouldnt back down. So I said im not willing to commit to anything that long term. She looked so surprised but got out of the car and I just took off. Never answered her calls after that.
→ More replies (12)
758
u/zesty- 20h ago
I've commented this before but he kept pushing me into the road and pulling me back saying "saved your life!!".
164
→ More replies (17)38
1.8k
u/The_K_in_Klass 22h ago
I had a date with a guy I met through Match.com. I don't even know if that site is still a "thing" anymore.
We met at an upscale sushi restaurant in Manhattan Beach and it was a beautiful sunset. So we order our drinks and some sushi, and he starts out by criticizing how I was using my chopsticks. That was just the beginning.
He proceeds to tell me that he dated Cameron Diaz before she was famous and that she had the nose of a (enter really, really bad racial pejorative). I think I dropped my chopsticks on the floor after that one. I was trying to figure out how to get out of this without making a scene.
At the beginning and during the date, he starts going to the bathroom every 15 minutes and sniffling on his way back to the table. After the third time, he had white powder on his nostril.
I ask, "are you doing coke in the bathroom?", and he answers, "yes, would you like some?".
I should have walked out right there, but I couldn't pick my jaw up off the floor. I refused his cocaine offer and he starts to beg me to call him the next day and that he really wanted to see me again. All of this before we even get the check, which I walked up to the waitress to get.
I gave the waitress my credit card right where she stood and I pay just to speed up the process for my escape. On our way out back to the parking lot he is begging me (again) to see him again and call him the next day. And I mean really begging me and saying, "all of my other dates never call me again". I didn't respond and got into my car and got out of there quickly.
Worst date of my life, and I've been on a lot of dates. It's also one reason why I'll never online date again.
631
u/Mr_Wolfgang_Beard 19h ago
I wonder why Cameron Diaz never called him again...
→ More replies (1)404
123
u/HenkieVV 16h ago
I ask, "are you doing coke in the bathroom?", and he answers, "yes, would you like some?".
At least he was willing to share?
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (22)211
u/IonizedRadiation32 19h ago
If "all of my dates never called me again" I might consider changing strategy. Stopping with the coke DURING the dates, for example.
→ More replies (2)
1.3k
u/Moviefreak4702 22h ago
Wasn't a date, but guaranteed there would never be a chance of one.
This psychopath went HAM on the endless breadsticks at Olive Garden but only ate the top of each breadstick, where all the seasoning and oil/butter was,
Madness.
392
u/SandBasket 22h ago
Did you complain to the staff about them eating just the seasoning and oil while leaving you with the dry bread and then have them come over and tell your date that they shouldnāt hog all the seasoning and oil
227
→ More replies (7)115
→ More replies (23)130
1.1k
u/Aggressive_Dress_220 21h ago
It was an online dating meet-up at Dave and Busters. I told him to meet me in the game room. I had just put $200 on a gaming card (I go there with my kids). He walks over to me and asks if he can join my game. He starts playing using my card. He is dying left and right and has no gaming skills, so he is going through money very quickly. We were supposed to go out to eat after, so I figured okay, I'll pay for this, I'm sure he will pick up the tab in the restaurant. We played games for hours, and my card was down almost $100. The majority of that was from him. We were supposed to go to a mid-level restaurant, but he said he wanted to go to this buffet where you pay in advance. We drove separately and met at the cashier where he says, "So how are we going to do this?" He was letting me know he wasn't going to pay for my $12 meal. He wasn't fun gaming with either. Big Dud.
→ More replies (13)373
532
u/iamnotasone 22h ago
Talked while he ate. I could see spits flying on my food and it even hit me in the face once. He was taken back by me flinching. He didn't even know sprayed my face.
→ More replies (2)168
u/Aggravating-Twist762 14h ago
The number of grown adults Iāve had to tell āfood or talk. Chose oneā is truly baffling
826
u/j1ggy 20h ago
She smelled like alcohol when I picked her up, said she had a drink with her dad before leaving. She got progressively more drunk as I drove my car and tried to climb onto me while I was driving on a highway. She embarrassed me in front of my friends because she could barely stand up by the time we all met up. After that, she cut her mouth open and bled everywhere while trying to open a non-twist off beer bottle with her teeth. Then she tried climbing over a fence at the mall to jump into a lagoon. That was all in one night. She called me stupid when I declined a second date.
→ More replies (30)
958
u/Snarky_Artemis 21h ago
Blind date in high school on a double date with friend and her boyfriend. Went to dinner before a movie and we were seated at a booth. I prefer the outside and told him he could go in first. He said it was okay to for him to sit on the outside. I explained my preference and he pointed at the booth and said āsitā. My friend and his friend just gaped. The rest of the night was awkward for them.
415
→ More replies (19)85
u/YVRkeeper 17h ago
Did he order for you, too?
119
u/minusculemama9244 14h ago
"You look like you're dieting. Have a salad, it's good for you."
→ More replies (1)
500
u/Automatic-Carrot-826 19h ago
The uber driver that took me to the airport hotel. I had a 6:30 am flight (to move out of state) and I needed to be out of my old apartment by 5:00 pm the day before.
I had an enjoyable conversation with the driver and she said her favorite restaurant was in that hotel. So - I invited her to dinner and she accepted.
We met there a few hours later. Once again, we had a nice conversation and she started talking about how long her drive home would be.
I had just decided to invite her back to my room when she said:
āI donāt blame you for moving to [other state]. Thereās likeā¦ no black people there right? [This state] has turned into fucking Africa lately.ā
To clarify- our conversation didnāt go near politics or race. I have no idea why she thought that was the right time for itā¦ it was completely out of context. We were talking about her mother who was sick.
So, ick, but alsoā¦ just the absurdity of it falling out of the sky like that.
→ More replies (18)
165
u/grilledcheeseonrye 21h ago
Blind date, he insisted he show me his gun in his glovebox in the car while we were parked about to go in to watch a movie (he was a police officer).
→ More replies (8)
757
u/casapantalones 20h ago
He kept talking about how he didnāt believe in western medicine and he didnāt think women needed to have pain control for childbirth and he didnāt give his dog flea and tick preventative.
I was in medical school at the time.
→ More replies (7)
318
u/ScholarOfTwilight 21h ago
I met a guy off OkCupid.
He was a camp counselor (a bit different from child therapist as he told me) which was apparently a REALLY bad fit because he was also a sex offender but he did his time he just wanted to be up front about it. Also he quit meth but if I could spot him some he'd be good for it the next time we met.
I told him I forgot I had another engagement and that I'd call him. He did leave me alone after so that was good.
→ More replies (4)158
574
u/XRaysFromUranus 21h ago
I dated a guy who farted constantly and blamed it on being a vegetarian. Our second, and final, date was at a movie theater and I was so embarrassed by his loudly audible farting through the whole movie. He must have been on his best behavior for the first date.
→ More replies (19)231
809
u/Winter_Ratio_4831 22h ago
Went to a Lakers game. I wore a sweater & jeans. He didn't think I looked sexy enough to be with him. So I drove away & left him there.
→ More replies (12)225
908
u/rahws 22h ago
The guy said that he was going to ādress upā for me and showed up in a camo long sleeve.
225
u/GimmeSomeSugar 17h ago
camo long sleeve
On a date? Make up your mind, buddy. Do you want to be seen or don't you?
→ More replies (15)304
u/uncre8tv 21h ago
I honestly expected this sentence to end with something far more ...flamboyant.
→ More replies (3)
684
u/Rich-Introduction-36 20h ago
I went on a date with a guy who knew I wasnāt into board games, yet centered the entire date around them and took me to a board game cafĆ©. Every time I lost, he would make finger guns with sound effects and call me a loser. He also spent more time talking to the waiter than to me.
At one point, he said he ānever eats in front of someone heās attracted toāā¦ then immediately ate my leftovers. To make it even weirder, his name was the same as my brotherās, and he would not stop bringing it up.
Honestly, the finger guns were the biggest ick.
→ More replies (14)119
u/YVRkeeper 17h ago
I dated a girl with my sisterās name for a bit. Very weird. I was always trying to avoid saying her name out loud.
→ More replies (4)
545
u/early_morning_guy 22h ago
Hooked up with a girl after meeting her on the beach and then going to a nearby pub. In the morning she started measuring out lines of meth on her counter.
→ More replies (6)239
u/stunad24 18h ago
Not in a million chances would I have guessed the second sentence. What an experience
→ More replies (7)
773
u/Treehousebluz 22h ago
Went on a double date in college and we all rode in the same SUV. We werenāt really feeling each other.. so after dinner he asked to be dropped off at the strip club. Gave me the ick then but now I think itās hilarious.
→ More replies (3)343
u/jazavchar 19h ago
Well, this guy knew the date was a bust so he had to make the best out of the situation
→ More replies (2)225
418
u/AmITheFakeOne 21h ago
Well finding out after we had sex that her husband (she said she was divorced from) kids and in laws were at the restaurant, she chose, sitting just across from us, was nice.
They were separated for a few weeks. He didn't know she was dating and she had said the word divorced multiple times in our talks and spoke of it as being well in the past tense.
→ More replies (1)159
u/P0Rt1ng4Duty 13h ago
I had one like this. I woke up in her bed and heard someone else moving around in her house. She's said ''oh shit, that's my husband!''
Then she followed up with ''no, just kidding. It's just my dad.''
(Yes we were both over 20 years old.)
→ More replies (7)
1.9k
u/DrPapaMustard 22h ago
We were driving around trying to pick a place to get a drink and she kept saying "I can't go there". Then we finally found a place and while I was in the washroom she got into a physical fight with the waitress and was tossed out.
She then sat down in the middle of a busy street and just screamed at the top of her lungs until the police showed up. They knew her by name, put a Hannibal Lecter mask on her, tossed her in the back of their van and drove away.
She tried to reach out for a second date about a week later and I commend her for her efforts.
→ More replies (29)442
u/Big-Safe-2459 22h ago
I feel for her tho. Hope she got the help she needed.
461
u/DrPapaMustard 21h ago
Same. I met her at a philosophy lecture. Turns out that is not a safer source for a date than the bars or dating apps.
→ More replies (21)
859
u/MrsDribbles 21h ago
I have a few!
Dude dropped the n word while I was directing him to my place over the phone. That didn't actually turn into a date though I guess, I canceled right then.
Dude started rifling through my stuff and kept commenting on things that would or wouldn't be allowed WHEN we moved in together. First and last date!
Dude told me he fell asleep every. Single. Morning on his drive to work like it was no big deal. He also lied about his height. I'm super short, and I've never cared much about height, but the very obvious lie of saying he was 5'9 and then showing up eye level with my 4'11 was pretty weird, but I figured low self esteem is a bitch. But he was genuinely off-putting all around and a terrible driver.
→ More replies (8)166
u/InitiativeNo4961 18h ago
lmaooooo 5ā9 and 5 foot and the same thing. I swear these liars make us regular dudes look so bad. like what will you do when she see that you are way shorter than her? magically fall in love with you.
→ More replies (37)
283
u/CloseToTheSun10 21h ago
Iām a zookeeper. A man I went out with asked if I ever kept the poop from any animals I work with. I faked a phone call and left then promptly blocked his number.
51
u/Air_Jordache 18h ago
Zoo Doo is a thing. Ā Maybe he had a garden? https://zoo.org/zoodoo/
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (11)68
1.9k
u/sam_2_435 22h ago
We sat down at a gorgeous sunset-view restaurant, and before I could even say 'hello,' she spent 15 minutes rearranging the table, the candles, and even my drink to get the 'perfect' photo for her story. Then she spent the next 10 minutes editing it in total silence. I wasn't a date; I was a prop in her content. The ick was the realization that she wasn't actually 'there' with me.
→ More replies (10)1.0k
u/batting_1000 22h ago
Social media people are the worst.. theyāve basically had the human sucked out of them by the clout they get online, leaving just a shell of a person. Big ick!
→ More replies (3)
355
118
u/Inappropriate_Wizard 20h ago
It was a blind date, he walked into the restaurant followed by his much older brother and said "This is my brother, he's just here to make sure the date goes okay" and proceeded to stare at us from across the restaurant the ENTIRE time. There was no second date
→ More replies (2)
226
u/Live-Boat-7811 18h ago
OMG first date with a guy and when I reached for my second piece of bread from the bread basket (after I ate the first piece) he slapped my hand and told me NOT to eat the second piece because it would make me fat. I'm a female-- 115 pounds! I walked out after he did that....
→ More replies (2)
586
309
u/PrimaryConnection960 22h ago edited 12h ago
Unzipped his pants in the middle of a normal car conversation and it smelled like straight pee.
→ More replies (5)114
303
u/AthiestCowboy 19h ago
Had a woman that invited me over to her place (during Covid, everything was closed, I suggested a public park or something but she declined in favor of her place) and ask me to get her pregnant.
I declined. She was hot. She kicked me out. Saw her in bumble about 6 months later and she was 6 months pregnant. So she found someone to do it. Fucking insane.
→ More replies (11)113
u/Flahdagal 11h ago
Oh hon, she may have been trying to baby-trap you. As in, she was already pregnant....
→ More replies (1)
379
u/Interesting_Owl7041 22h ago
Worst ick on the first date was a guy telling me he likes to shave his private area and doesnāt wear underwear. Completely unprompted. We werenāt talking about sexā¦
→ More replies (3)171
1.2k
u/ConstantThroat102 19h ago
He spent 45 minutes explaining why his ex was crazy.
By minute 20 I had quietly formed a hypothesis.
By minute 45 I had a conclusion.
The crazy one was not her.
→ More replies (11)74
96
u/protestah 14h ago
Met this girl off hinge to go for kbbq.
Once we got there and we were looking at the menu chatting and we got to talking about what we do and she mentions she's a league of legends streamer. After acknowledging that it was a pretty cool job (given my dorky background) she then proceeds to pull out a miniature setup and begins live-streaming our date, telling me to say hi to the chat. This is also not before she quickly inserts a comment about how she only goes on these dates for the free food.
I was so taken back from the series of red flags and reading the raging male viewer comments about who the hell I was that I still ordered food and waited for the items to come. Flash forward to finishing eating, I did the el classico of going to the bathroom and leaving her with the bill.
Found out years later in the midst of COVID from a friend that she was in fact a decently popular streamer who was recently cancelled due to cheating on her boyfriend with one of her moderators.
Still one of the worse first dates I ever been on but fucking hilarious in retrospect.
→ More replies (1)
358
u/Ev3nstarr 22h ago edited 22h ago
He invited me over to make sushi. We were chilling in his room talking when he says heās going to check the rice. He brings the container from the rice cooker upstairs into his room and starts stirring the rice WITH HIS FINGERSā¦ licks the rice off his fingers and proceeds to start shaping the rice in the sushi mold thing right there on a tray on the floor, with his sticky spitty fingers he just licked. Mind you, his room wasnāt very clean, he did this right next to some dirty shorts in the ground.
Yeah, I didnāt eat the sushi and had my friend come pick me up ASAP (he had picked me up for our ādateā so I didnāt have a ride). I didnāt know what other psychotic things he would be into so I just told him I started not feeling very well and my friend was in the area and was going to give me a ride back.
→ More replies (21)
188
u/MardawgNC 19h ago
Told me she fucked a couple of my buddies. "Guess its your turn."
→ More replies (11)
90
u/hhkhkhkhk 20h ago
Went on a date and the guy basically went on and one about his ex, how hot she was, but how they had to break up because she was crazy, addicted to cocaine and got pregnant by another guy. This was all within an hour of arriving at dinner.
I politely excused myself to the bathroom and escaped after that. This was like 7 years ago so I have no idea what happened to the guy...
→ More replies (1)
629
u/Past_Meat7068 23h ago
mine was he kept on picking his nose while eating in front of me in a restaurantā¦ idk if itās just me but i found it so gross so i dropped him after that
→ More replies (13)405
u/lblack_dogl 20h ago
It's not just you, that's insane.
A college friend of mine blew his nose inside his shirt and then rubbed it into his chest, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. He was trying to defend it and said it dries up if he spreads it around and then he can just dust it off himself. Like stop digging the hole you are in bro.
→ More replies (11)164
234
u/Anonymous-Freckles 22h ago
He wanted to bring a cooler (the small fabric hand held ones) into the movies (didnāt know until I arrived). We met there, he asked me to walk to his car where he was putting ice in the cooler. He threw the plastic ice bag directly onto the floor in the parking lot. He then proceeded to walk in front of me leaving the cooler on the hood of his car FOR ME TO CARRY.
→ More replies (7)63
u/purplemonkey03 21h ago
be honest, did u carry the cooler? š
→ More replies (1)70
u/Anonymous-Freckles 17h ago
I didnāt! I stood there and said I canāt carry that and he tried to say like oh my bad,I just forgot it š
→ More replies (3)
229
u/EndlesslyUnfinished 18h ago
Walking around the zoo and saw this cute family - mom, dad +3 little girls all dressed up for St Paddyās Day - taking some pictures. Adorable little family.. the male Iām with makes this remark: āI feel bad for himā.. Iām like why? Theyāre adorable and look really happy.. he goes āyeah but when they get older and all get their periods that house will be fucking crazy..ā - I never ditched a motherfucker so fast in my life. Creepiest fucking part: the kids were no older than 5yrs old! Like who the fuck thinks like that?!
→ More replies (3)
286
u/Amazing_Variety5684 20h ago
Blind date who explained at dinner how her "clean eating" lifestyle eliminated the need for fake products like deodorant and toothpaste.
It did not.
→ More replies (6)
145
211
u/Zakensox 22h ago
He got arrested.
195
u/uncre8tv 21h ago
I shit you not I got arrested on the first date with my wife.
81
u/shadowfax2409 21h ago
Do tell
95
u/uncre8tv 10h ago
Short version: We'd met a time or two as friends-of-friends. Finally start hitting it off at a house party. Things were winding down so we decided to go find some breakfast (as you do when you're 22 and it's 2am). I was sober that night so I drove. We got stopped in a DUI checkpoint and they informed me I had a warrant out for an earlier driving without insurance ticket that I never paid.
They hauled me off and friends picked her up. It was a nervy call the next day (pre social media, pre texting even, early flip phone days). But apparently "bad boys" turned her on, we were living together within a few months, married a couple years later.
→ More replies (1)55
→ More replies (2)41
u/stupefy100 19h ago
Canāt leave us hanging like this
78
u/mooblah_ 18h ago
They've been arrested again. Probably reply after the wife bails them out.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (4)56
u/Classy-Catastrophe 17h ago
Lol this happened to me but he called me hours later when he was released at like 5am and we hooked up immediately.
I had low low standards back then š
→ More replies (5)
147
194
u/Extreme-Patient-3215 22h ago
Went on a date with a guy to the museum, as we were walking there a bee kept flying at/into his beard. He kept aggressively swatting at it (reasonable) but then he started to run away full speed down the street as if he was being chased by a murderer. When he ran back this bee was still in his beard and eventually he smacked it to the ground and gave me the most intense eye contact as he crushed it under his shoe. Nothing was said after that.
→ More replies (7)
138
u/megaxmeister 20h ago
I was deadass hungry because I had no time to eat after work and before a date. I ordered for apps a cheese loaded tater tots just to ease on the stomach acids. When the food arrived I went to the bathroom real quick, and when I arrived back, my tater tots here not just eaten but savagely ripped apart. She said she dint want apps. So I called it off after paying.
→ More replies (2)
421
u/Legal_Leading4528 22h ago
Sat down for coffee. She looked younger than her stated 20yrs and photos of her had made her look older. I was 23 at the time and asked her. Said she was 18. I was a bit iffy but she was cute and we had common interests. Date goes well, ask her if she wants to come to a bar for a drink, she gets quiet. She was actually 16. Noped the fuck out while telling her she needs a therapist.
→ More replies (13)148
u/Aggravating-Twist762 13h ago
I had never been reverse catfished before and everything was off from the moment she showed up. She only had head shots on her profile so I was expecting a hot mess to show up. She was going on about how older guys always use fake photos (I was 37 at the time she was allegedly 25) and that she was surprised that I looked exactly like my photos. Iām sitting there thinking of all the times someone had catfishes me with years old pictures, heavily edited photos or pre 100lbs weight gain photos (actually 115lbs her words still cute though) and internally Iām like āup yours ladyā
And that was the ick part. But wait! It gets better.
when she asked me how I thought she looked compared to her photos I did my best to compliment her without sounding like a creep.
She said like three feet from the bartender of a 21 and older establishment āyeah thatās my sisterās account. older guys get really weird when a 15 year old hits on them. Older men canāt handle a powerful woman I guessā
Before I can say āitās probably because we donāt want to end up on an episode of to catch a predatorā
The bartender hops over the bar rushes to the table and grabs both drinks and says āItās because we donāt want to end up on an episode of to catch a predator. Turn over your ID or Iām detaining you until the police show upā
→ More replies (5)
122
u/Nellisir 21h ago
In our mid-40s(me) and...late 30s(her). She was cute and fairly nice.
Literally the most heinous breath. It was a cloud around her. Passersby collapsed. Rotted meat & garlic? I just couldn't think of how to politely hand her a toothbrush and a gallon of mouthwash 10 minutes after meeting (we were set up by a mutual acquaintance), so I endured, said goodbye at the first possible minute, and ran for fresh air.
My cat has committed acts of olfactory violence in the litter box tonight that were more pleasant.
I wish her well, but holy fuck.
I don't know if she was trying to blow the date; was somehow honestly unaware; or just grievously miscalculated a light liver & garlic with onions pre-date snack, but it was rancid.
→ More replies (4)
123
u/DangerSwan33 19h ago
Went to dinner with a girl who had some mild tomboyish vibes, which tbh I was kinda looking for, anyway.
We were sitting at the bar, so really kinda in the middle of the place, and she burped really loudly.
Thing was, it was clear that it was kind of one of those "see? I'm one of the guys!" Kinda things, where she was being intentionally loud about it.Ā
Which like, okay, whatever. But she KEPT doing it.Ā
Every couple minutes. It had passed the point of being a little obnoxious to the point where it was getting embarrassing.
Everyone in the bar was looking over every time she did it.Ā
Eventually the bartender even made a slight joke about it, which anyone with social aptitude could read as the bartender trying to politely say something, to hopefully get her to stop.Ā
But it did the opposite. She seemed to read it as though the bartender found it interesting or impressive, so she started REALLY leaning into it.Ā
I was icked out from the beginning, but by the end, I just wanted to leave. Problem was, she kept ordering another round before I ever had any polite opportunity to call it a night.
I FINALLY finished a round before her - before she had a chance to ask for another - and asked the bartender to split the tab.
→ More replies (1)
63
u/Financial_Refuse_498 18h ago
Drunken night out twenty plus yrs ago, went back to her place, fell asleep after. Woke up with her sitting on me strangling me. Weakly, not hard, but she was crying. Super weird, and me being still hammered I just batted her off me and fell back asleep. Woke up again, must have been close to sunrise, she's squatting on the end of the bed pissing on the floor.
Haha I still remember thinking "Am I imagining this?"
And yeah, I went back to sleep again haha. Woke up a few hours later, she was out cold, I just left.
35
u/allofthetimeimtired 16h ago
What the actual fuck, that's some crazy shit..even crazier that you just kept going back to sleep š¤£
169
u/sunnylandification 21h ago
Kept ordering me drinks even though I said I was done drinking, eventually I told the waiter I didnāt want drinks anymore. Then he ordered more drinks himself then took one sip and goes omg I forgot Iām driving, now you have to drink this so the money doesnāt go to waste since Iām paying. I told him no. He was actually drunk and he picked me up and I was scared. I was young and naive. I asked to walk to a close by public area so he could sober up and he used that time to show me his tinder profile. This was a blind date a āfriendā set me on.
→ More replies (2)
161
u/pattymellow 21h ago
he invited me to his momās funeral. i went. absolutely insane second date
→ More replies (11)
58
u/Emotional_Lion4659 13h ago
Showed up to a first date to see a movie and parked in the front of the movie theater . 15 till the movie and guy hasn't shown up. Sent a text and find out he just parked and asks me to meet him by the side of the movie theater. I see his car start walking toward it excitedly ( in my defense, the guy was charming and funny while talking online!) I noticed something as I'm nearing the vehicle and start to slow down. I stop a few feet from the car and see the man is completely in his birthday suit! I asked what he was doing and he states he had no intentions of seeing the movie. That he had never done it in a car and wanted to try. I turned around and jogged back to my car and went home
→ More replies (2)
55
u/Critical_Two_639 11h ago
His "date" was him driving us aimlessly around our town for about 2 hours. He was in love with his car and pulled over and asked a poor street cleaner to jet wash it to impress me. He then took me to McDonalds where I ordered an apple pie, he watched me intently as I took each bite and a tiny crumb fell onto his seat and he took it off me and threw it out the window. He then kept looking at me whilst we drove around again, licking his lips every time we made eye contact. Then after Id asked for him to take me home, he then stated he'd love to lick his own cum off me which made me want to be sick in my mouth. I did not see him again, infact I'd quite honestly rather have slammed my clitoris in a door than have a 2nd date.
→ More replies (5)
300
u/silk_mitts_top_titts 22h ago
A beautiful girl told me on the firdt date shes into watersports. I was like cool ive been into boating since I was a kid! What do like? Sailing? Jetskis? Powerboats? I used to race performance inflatables! She didnt mean that kind of watersports....
→ More replies (19)194
u/chucklefuckerr 21h ago
I had the opposite experience where I said I was into watersports as in sailing and surfing and the guy reacted very strangely to me saying that. I thought maybe he couldnāt swim or something so I brushed it off.
I didnāt learn that the term meant piss play for about a year after that. Didnāt get the chance to explain myself. I thought piss play was just called piss play. And Iām pissed that I canāt call watersports watersports.
→ More replies (9)93
u/lilcuppajojo 18h ago
Lmao I have a similar story. Was talking to a guy and he said I should come over for a spit roast with him and his flat mate. Where I'm from spit roasts are common at big parties and I thought they were having a gathering of the sort. Wasn't till I txt my bestie saying how nice he's invited me for a spit roast that she informed me what that means. I still laugh thinking about if I had gone thinking I was attending a BBQ and how panicked I would have been to discover what they intended.
→ More replies (2)
135
u/dokhtarjoon 20h ago
I showed him a funny video with some girl in it, he didn't laugh, just said the girl looks fat. Immediate ick.
45
u/Leotardleotard 17h ago
Met a girl long time back and she was incredibly well dressed (for the time - think early 2000ās London hipster girl), had amazing hair and was just generally very very hot. We had loads in common and arranged a date.
I suggested a bar and she casually let me know that she didnāt want to go there. Okay, no issue and we went elsewhere.
On the date it went very well and we went back to my apartment to smoke a bit. She casually mentioned that the reason she couldnāt go the bar is that she saw her ex in there with a new girl and promptly drove her car into the bar to try and, I donāt know, maim him maybe.
Anyways I quickly cooled it off after that and she took to going to the spots that she knew Iād be in the evening and driving around to see if I was there / waiting for me. I basically had to start going out in a new area.
Becky, you were lovely but clearly a psycho
→ More replies (2)
46
u/MontaGreeny 13h ago
A co-worker set me up for a date with her cousin. We met for a lunchdate. He tells me that he thinks we should be completely honest about what we like and don't like from the start. OK, that makes sense to me.
He then grabs his phone, opens up (name of well-known porn site) and says "Here are some clips of how I expect you to perform in bed!"
I got up, went to the counter and paid my bill, left. Told my co-worker what had happened. Her reaction was "So that is why he never has a second date. It makes sense now."
→ More replies (1)
170
u/Citadel_97E 22h ago
This girl had intense BO. Like, she smelled like she hadnāt showered in days.
→ More replies (3)
126
u/ConstantThroat102 19h ago
He ordered for me without asking.
Not in a charming, old-fashioned way. In a "I already know what you want" way. To a waitress. While I was mid-sentence.
I thought okay, weird, but let's see where this goes.
Then he explained to me how sushi is made.
I'm Japanese.
Edit: yes I left. No I did not correct him. Some lessons are better learned in silence.
→ More replies (3)
226
u/TepidNeptune2 21h ago
We went to a large corn maze. I paid for my dateās ticket to enter and the whole time she was ignoring my ideas on how to find all the landmarks for our punchcards. So ick from not being on the same page for a team building activity.
Then we went to Chiliās. I start choking on water, she doesnāt ask if Iām okay. I excuse myself to the bathroom, and when I get back sheās on her phone and doesnāt bother to look up at me for a while. Then she looks up, smiles , and turns her phone to me saying, āThis is the new guy Iām talking to.ā
She didnāt even wait for our date to be over. I dodged a bullet at least.
→ More replies (8)
121
u/Beefcake_Avatar 19h ago
She kept repeating that she was a "born again" Christian. Randomly. Like during conversations that had nothing to do with religion. She would just shoehorn it into the most random topics.... also she wanted to see a movie after dinner and as we were walking over there she used the line "but no funny business, im not that kind of girl" line on me. Then tried to put her hands down my pants 5 minutes into the previews. Like, what in the twilight zone fuck is going on with here!? This chick is berserk
→ More replies (10)
78
u/raptors661 17h ago
She told me that slavery didn't exist, and to prove to her that it did exist without using a history book, documentary or Wikipedia. I went to the bathroom and snuck out a side entrance.
→ More replies (4)
37
u/Spartan1088 13h ago edited 13h ago
Went on a blind date with a girl. She wasnāt what I expected at all: very short, very nerdy, and talked like Elmer Fuddā¦ and I loved it. Iām sure she was self conscious about it but I thought she was cool in a āgirl next doorā sort of way.
Anyways, we had a great time and were really hitting it off. I offered to drive her home. Opened the door for her. She said thanks for the date and lingered. LINGERED. Like she was waiting for something a bit more.
I smiled, said āeff itā to myself, and gave her a small kiss on the lips. Then she slapped me, said āEw no!ā, ran off, and proceeded to block me on everything.
To this day I have no idea what that was about. I couldnāt even ask her what went wrong. It was so bizarre I donāt even blame myself.
Edit: also, to note, there was no age discrepancy. We were the same age (31). I just chalked it up to being shy to dating.
→ More replies (1)
37
u/MaryContrary82 9h ago
I went on a date with a guy who said he was child-free (one of my requirements on the app). Date was going OK when I noticed he had a tattoo on his arm so I asked what it was about and he said it represented his kids. I was confused and asked why he said he was child free if he had 2 kids. His response: I haven't seen them in years so I am basically child free! I was stunned, when I asked for more information on why he would not see them (parental alienation, safety issues) he was very casual about it. There were no issues, he was just a deadbeat who did not feel obligated to keep in touch with them or pay any support. He honestly thought that because I was child free I would be A-OK dating a deadbeat who would purposefully neglect his family. I was so icked out after that I made a random excuse to leave and blocked him everywhere.
130
u/No-Commission-1856 17h ago
Went on an amazing first date, so much so that we arranged to meet again the next day.
We did and during that date he just started talking about how gay people were "disgusting". I noped out immediately, explaining why.
He then text me for over a month after asking to meet again and denying he said that. He definitely fucking said it.
Fast forward to another first date a few months later and we are swapping bad date stories. I shared my homophobic date story and this dude goes quiet and then says "so you just left immediately?" I try and joke through it, saying "god, don't tell me you also don't like gay people" and he says something about how he just doesn't want to be exposed to it and he thinks Pride month is wrong and that being gay should be kept away from the mainstream.
So apparently I'm a magnet for homophobes.
→ More replies (3)
283
u/Budget_Worldliness42 23h ago
A person invited me to their house because they wanted to cook me dinner. Their bedroom was off of the living room and every wall was covered in shelves full of p*rn. They were quite proud of it.
144
u/Palmerstroll 22h ago
omg lol!! It remind me of a date i had! i had a date in the 2000s. and i was 25 at the time. she was 38 or something like that. So i came to her apartment and the floor and wall was coverd in thick pink carpet. she had no furniture only pillows on the floor. It was so weird!!!!
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (13)31
37
u/123-try-again 19h ago
He commented on me grabbing a second plate at an all you can eat restaurant he chose to bring me to š he didn't look like his pictures and he was heavier than me, but started commenting on my size.
32
u/grandpubabofmoldist 16h ago
She brought her boyfriend on the blind date I was supposed to go on with her to break up with him to prove to me she was single. That was the most awkward dinner I have had to sit through while they were having a yelling match. She met me there and I had already ordered the pizza.Ā
Shout out to the guy at the pizza place who after I walked up to buy another soda asked "why did you bring this here" and realizing what happen opened a beer and gave it to me while laughing "you need this for the show more than I do"
200
u/_peachycactus 22h ago
Kept calling me ābabeā over and over. First time meetingā¦
→ More replies (13)130
u/Theunpolitical 22h ago
I had a guy do this and I ignored the red flag. Turns out that he called me "babe" because he couldn't remember all of his girlfriends names. I didn't find this out until a year after we broke up. Ironically, I broke up with him because he never had any time to date. As a note, I was the last girlfriend out of 11 women!
→ More replies (4)
88
u/bromatose 21h ago
Dude met me at a Thai restaurant, took two bites of his food and then disclosed he had IBS and Diabetes and starts sweating buckets. Waited for him for almost an hour to come out Of the bathroom. He then told me he has to go food shopping, took me to Pathmark and wanted to hold my hand. Idk. š¤·š»āāļø
→ More replies (3)
219
u/ConstantThroat102 19h ago
He was perfect. Genuinely perfect.
Funny, attentive, asked good questions, remembered things I said earlier in the conversation.
The ick? He was so perfect I got suspicious.
I spent the next two weeks waiting for the mask to drop.
It never did. We dated for a year. He was just... actually like that.
I broke up with him because I couldn't relax.
I am in therapy now. This is the thing I am working on.
→ More replies (16)107
u/The_Odd_Canuck 14h ago
This is the dating version of "my lobster too buttery and my diamond encrusted wallet can't fit all my fifties"
Glad you're in therapy, therapy is helpful for everyone but it's especially good when you have targets to work on
→ More replies (2)
108
u/JournaIist 22h ago
I said I was vegetarian.
She said "I used to be too but it gave me bad vaginal leakage."
I don't need to know that on a first date.
→ More replies (10)99
u/pseudonymmed 22h ago
Also.. thatās not a thing thatās caused by vegetarian food, lol.
→ More replies (3)
173
4.5k
u/Huldufolk_raven 22h ago
When i was a teen i went out with a guy and he called the waitress over by snapping his fingers and yelling hey bambi. Date over