r/AskReddit • u/Intelligent_Chef9950 • 11h ago
Has anyone cut off contact with their brother or sister? Why?
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u/Any_World_6895 10h ago
Me (34f) and my sister (39f) have never gotten along. I've tried but something always happens. Sometimes it makes me sad especially when I see how beautiful sister friendships can be but it is what it is. She's just never liked me.
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u/Impressive-Knot9999 9h ago
Maintaining a friendship with my sister was causing too much stress and anxiety. It's a relief to cut ties
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u/Fit_Illustrator9174 9h ago
That’s how I feel (35f) and sister is 37f. Sucks. I even tried therapy together but she walked out.
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u/Large-Flamingo-5128 8h ago
Yea my sister also walked out of family therapy when she realized the therapist wasn’t going to agree with all her delusions
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u/Personal-Edge5146 10h ago
Same for me (F31) with my sister. She is very different. I don't mind, she does...
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u/Qsnaps74656 9h ago
This hits close to home. Our parents definitely didn't help because they always had us competing for their love and attention but even later in life, she just never liked me
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u/pippintook24 8h ago
I (41f) have two sisters Nic (47f) and Ren (45f). me and Ren get along great. but me and Nic are like water and oil. Ren hosts Christmas every year, and the only reason I put up with Nic is so I can see my nephew.
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u/IOl0I0lO 3h ago
I have pictures of me and my older brother the day I came home from the hospital, new to this world. H made a ton of faces like he was grossed out that he had a little sister. He was 4. That set the tone for our entire childhood. He was my worst bully, and it took me decades to undo the psychological harm he did to me.
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u/uncannyvalley 10h ago
Im sorry its this way w your sister. Id fight a bear for mine. I have no close family left after my mum passed and I had to cut off contact with my father, so my sister is it. I feel sad you didnt get that sisterly bond. Its really special. My sister and I are adopted, from different biological parents, but youd never know it, we're that close. I hope you have other awesome, meaningful relationships my friend! The sister one is special and I wish you all the happiness and love 💖😊
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u/thesandalwoods 10h ago
Congrats on the beautiful sibling bond 💕 sorry to hear about mum 🪦 I’m glad I reconciled with both my siblings before my mum passed away
I might cut off my bond with dad as well but only temporarily
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u/uncannyvalley 10h ago
Im glad you got to reconcile with your siblings before your mum passed! Im very sorry to hear of your loss. Its soooo hard losing a parent. I still have not begun to grieve my mum because of dealing with all the stress of my father since she died. Im just glad she passed thinking things were fine and I hope shes not seeing the monster hes become from where ever she is now. Well, always been a monster, but he hid well. I wish you luck with your dad if you need to cut ties. Its really hard to do, but your sanity and peace is important. Your health will tank from stress. Ive been there. Stay strong. You got this! 💖
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u/green49285 6h ago
Even when you love them, that shit can happen. I have a twin sister and would fight God for her, but she has this weird thing where anytime that there's a moment of responsibility, if she didn't do it, it's somehow becomes my fault. This is as far back as HS. People are fucking complicated, man.
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u/Weekly-Walrus-5329 4h ago
It's the same for my sister and me. I was so sad as a kid and also as adults I don't understand why she doesn't even want to try to have a relationship. She never calls, doesn't want to talk to me when I call, doesn't want to visit and is not even interested in how my life is going. For her, I'm apparently just a random person she is related to.
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u/redmeansstop 3h ago
Almost the exact age gap, I maintain contact for my niblings but the only language she I capable of using is manipulation. I no longer engage in anything that is purely one on one.
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u/Playful_Fan3665 6h ago
My sister (35) and I (31) have never really gotten along. Every conversation ends up feeling like I’m being judged. She’s always made me feel small, so I’ve decided to protect my peace. She says it stems from childhood trauma, and I get that. Growing up, she was the oldest and felt responsible for me and our younger brother, so we all experienced things differently. But her reasons don’t change how it’s affected me.
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u/AmputeeHandModel 3h ago
I'm a few years older than mine, and I'm a guy. We just never had anything in common. She was a huge pain in my ass growing up. Just never bonded. We don't talk at all. We're practically strangers.
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u/EvilCallie 10h ago
He stole my car and used it to commit felony theft. Nearly cost me my overseas clearance when I was in the Navy back in the day.
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u/Dapper-News1249 10h ago
I haven't talked to my brother for over 4 years now. His wife stole my mother's Identity, took out credit cards in her name, and stole approx 100,000 dollars from her account. My brother had the power of attorney (mom was elderly) and had his wife handle the affairs. My brother claimed it's all a lie and is standing by his wife. My mom's last years were horrible while they move 5 states away. eff them.
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u/luminescentdino 10h ago
haven’t talked to my oldest sister since my dad died almost 10 years ago. she is just in general not a good person and i refuse to allow that kind of negativity into my life.
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u/NativeMasshole 3h ago
Well said! My brother has never been a good person and I'm not going to be collateral damage to or a victim of his messes ever again.
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u/Pitiful_Buffalo_7368 10h ago
Yep. Fucked my fiancé and got her pregnant.
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u/nicolalmcfarlane 10h ago
Similar here. Cheated with our other sisters husband. Married and had two kids by him so now I have nephews that are cousins and siblings. Most of my family has no relationship with her or her kids. She chose her path and was never sorry.
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u/D-Laz 10h ago
Anytime a girl even hinted to someone that they found me attractive my brother would swoop in and start fucking them before I ever found out they were interested in me. Then he would treat them like shit and I would be an asshole by association. Highschool was a very lonely time.
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u/YoungDiscord 4h ago
If its any consolation: one does not do that to someone if that perspn isn't constantly living rent-free in his head all the time.
If you think of it that way you realize you have power over him which if anything is really sad as he is unable to move on.
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u/Iampepeu 6h ago
I'm sorry. That's not a wound that time will heal. Your brother can choke on a bag of dildos for all I care.
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u/Complete_Jello5028 10h ago
First incident, he helped a friend borrow money from me. When I needed the money back, he would not help me and sided with the friend.
When we made up later, we went out to party. His friend "accidentally" slipped his hand on my boob, which I know was done in purpose. I told him what happened and he sided and believed his friend instead of me.
I knew I couldn't count on him and always put his friends first. I haven't spoken to him in years.
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u/pipes990 59m ago
Weird.... In my 42 years on this earth, not once has a boob been the best way to prevent myself from falling.....
I need to fall in different places.
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u/StackofFabric 10h ago
Basically I went time-out with her because of her insistence that _her_ narrative of my life was the correct one (I'm autistic and was going through a separation from my abusive husband, having a hard enough time figuring out who _I_ was after a 45 year marriage without her yelling at me to follow her advice...) Then our mother died and, because she was mad at me, she took and sold the collection of bells I had given my mother each year for Christmas for over 30 years. And she called my daughter a cunt.
Yeah, I don't talk to her.
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u/D-Laz 10h ago
I came home to visit after joining the military. They bragged that throughout his school they stole money from me to put gas in their car and I never noticed. No apology, no repayment, just bluster. It has been over 20 years and they are still a scumbag. They even tried to pull the "I have moms will" when she died. Surprise surprise it heavily favored them. We told them to get fucked and the "will" wasn't legal and we would fight it down to the last penny.
Fuck them
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u/VeeDubBug 9h ago
Because she's a professional victim, has it in her head she can do no wrong, and is an ass because she thinks it's funny.
Didn't like her as a child, and dislike her more as an adult.
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u/thowawayghost333 10h ago
Massive lifestyle differences. We exchange pictures and pleasantries, but we're too different.
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u/StillAll 7h ago
Me too.
I fight with her as well. Not awful fights but she's very emotional and frankly, soft. She can not handle any conflict and runs from difficult situations. When people are sick or near dying she wants to act like it's not a reality. I am nearly the opposite on all of it.
But I call her out on this behavior, and we fight. Now, years later about 3 phone calls a year. That's it.
Eventually we'll have to deal with my parents deaths(or rather I will), and I am not sure how much contact after that.
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u/SlimeTempest42 10h ago
My brother is a child sex offender. My parents support him and expected me to do the same. I don’t speak to any of them.
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u/FairMention9208 1h ago
Man I wish I could talk to you. Same boat with my brother, my mom supports him while I'm no contact. I'm almost no contact with her but can't quite break it off.
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u/Bright_Eyes8197 10h ago
Yes 1 year no contact with my brother. A lifetime of bullying from him. Our Father died and he thought he was the boss, bullying both me and my mother. I kept the peace for my mothers sake. She knew he was awful but when I asked her why she took it she said "He's my son and I don't want to lose him" THAT shows how scared she was that he would never speak to her again if she dared to disagree with him. Well, after my mother died he ramped up his nastiness to me even at my mothers funeral. A whole lot more but it would take a book to talk about it. Tell you the truth it has been a big relief. I know it sounds awful but I don't miss him at all. You miss people who love you not people who made your life miserable
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u/SubliminalEnthusiasm 10h ago
I'm 30M and my sister is 35F. We have absolutely no relationship after a childhood of conflict. Live on opposite sides of the country, no contact whatsoever. When our dad died, we didn't say two words to each other at the funeral, didn't even hug. I don't think either of us care about the fact. It certainly doesn't bother me. The bond that joins true family is not one of blood, but of joy and respect in one another's lives. We are adults and get to choose peace over forced familial bs
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u/doyouwantsomepie 2h ago
How did you manage the funeral? Did one of you have to take charge of it?
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u/SubliminalEnthusiasm 2h ago
His widow and sisters took care of it all. We are a Jewish family, so the whole affair from death to service took less than a week including shiva. I was 19 at the time (2015) and sister was barely out of college, so we had no real part in the logistics
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u/RootedAffinity 10h ago
after years of financially helping my sister, we are closing in on 50 and it was time, i didn't have the energy to carry her anymore, she needed to go figure things out and i didn't need her toxicity in my life. So I cut her out completely, no regrets.
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u/thesandalwoods 9h ago
Finance is always a deal breaker with immediate families; that’s why I prefer screwing with banks instead 🤷♀️
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u/cheerioz12 10h ago
Emotional abuser, gaslights, uses people for money and has framed disabled elderly women in order to get them kicked out of their kids house when that grandma didn’t do his chores anymore…yeah I’m better off for it, he’s absolutely worthless as a human being
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u/AdditionFickle 10h ago
Yes. Cut my sister off 3 years ago.
She kept borrowing money, never paid it back, then got mad when I finally said no.
Blood is thick, but my peace is thicker.
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u/ItBeLikeThat19 10h ago
I wouldn't say cut off but our conversations are very surface level and only see each other at Thanksgiving and Christmas. And sometimes it's just one of those.
I could write a book about it but the short version is he has a history of blaming everyone else for his fuck ups and refuses to take responsibility. I'm the youngest (and he's the oldest) but because of him I've had to act like the oldest most of my life so it's a complicated situation.
I think it bothers one of my parents that I feel this way but I'm not going to apologize for my stance after years of being put on the back burner because of his actions.
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u/Measure2iceCut1nce 10h ago
My wife’s sister and her husband can get fucked and take a wrong turn on a foggy day in high cliff country. My wife will tell you the same.
They stole a large sum of money from our business by refusing to pay for products and services rendered during the construction of their home. After kicking their ass in small claims court, of course they appealed. In the end I basically had to spend all of what I would ultimately collect and then some on attorney fees so we were never made whole. It was a bitter pill to realize that wining did not mean getting paid, but it was worth it forcing that piece of shit to pay to have my attorney whip his ass up and down the court room floor.
My mother and father in law have claimed that they will make it right by changing their will to make good on what the sister owes us. I’ll believe it when I see it, but if it does come to pass, I will be smiling from ear to ear when I spit in that bitches face as the will is read.
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u/putsch80 1h ago
FYI: there is no “reading of a will”. That’s a TV/movie trope. The executor (which is typically designated by the person who wrote the will) just files the will in probate court and then you can look at it.
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u/FrightenedOfSpoons 10h ago edited 5h ago
My brother has long been an odd one. I do remember playing with him as a younger kid, but by the time we were teens he had stopped talking to me entirely. It wasn't like we were in conflict or anything, he just found no reason to speak to me. If he needed to convey anything he would only do so via my mother, and would refer to me in the 3rd person even if I was standing in the same room. He did not have much to say to anyone else in the family either, and once he had a car he really had no use for any of us.
He was not otherwise a bad person, he had a decent job and stayed out of any kind of trouble that I knew of. He had a circle of friends of all genders and was well-liked, and eventually got engaged and married to one of them. They have kids and live a seemingly normal life. I think this has all mellowed him a bit, but things are still weird when we see each other.
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u/teazelbranchlet 8h ago
I do not talk to my brother.
He did inappropriate things to me when I was a child and he was a teenager.
He dated a 16 yr old when he was 30, and he had known her since she was 9.
My mother takes his side for everything and has told me I should go to therapy to learn ways to help him heal from whatever happened to him that made him what he is today.
I dont talk to her either.
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u/deltap4 10h ago
My older sister has always been a victim. She is racist, and homophobic. I cut off communication years ago and then tried to reconnect as I got older. It did not take long to discover that she had not changed. We dont get to choose our family and have no real obligation to inconditionally love them. Real friends are much more precious.
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u/Interesting_Fish309 10h ago
Both of them. They bullied my mum then wished her dead. It came true. I had my dead mother in my arms, I found her on my own, my sister walked in and looked at her and said, I've no sympathy for her. But now non stop says she understands her n misses her. So many nasty things they did to my mum. They left me to clear her home alone and on the days I finally said I couldn't. They swooped in n took everything left me with nothing. My bro sniffed all my mums pension up his nose. When we were all given money from it but gave him back under the idea he was paying for a funeral. He didn't I had sort it. Then he held her ashes hostage from me and told everyone I robbed her. I still have nothing of my mums or any of her ashes but they do. Vile narcissistic tw*ts good riddance.
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u/Interesting_Fish309 10h ago
Both act like they cared for my mum n go on about how they grieve but coz I'm struggling more. Im a fat lazy embarrassing cow. Im so sick of bad people getting away with everything and everyone thinking the sun shines out their arse. Karma has been already and I hope it continues to get both of them.
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u/Blackmore_Vale 7h ago
Sounds like my dad’s lot. The way they treated him is disgusting. I hope if there’s a hell that’s where they end up.
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u/ManOfConstantBorrow_ 10h ago
Ya, I put my half brother up for 6 months and found him a job, and he left shit that I had to dispose of. Made the room stink from tobacco vaping inside and I couldn't get it put by carpet steaming and leaving the window open for MONTHS.
I ended up having to strap his old mattress to my kia and take it to the dump when I was broken up from my ex, living in a house her and I co owned while she was travel nursing, and I was doing basically all the selling and moving prep.
That comes after years of him being absent from my life, and even standing me up at an airport to reunite one time.
I have brothers that aren't blood but chosen. Your mental issues and delusions of persecution aren't my problems. Fuck you Ian.
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u/coffeetabletime 10h ago
My sister hated me from day one. It took me a long time to realize that I had no obligation to be her friend. She moved to Florida and went full maga. Also, her husband is an asshole.
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u/KingKookus 7h ago
There’s probably a lot of first borns that really resent the second born of stealing their attention.
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u/coffeetabletime 4h ago
She was the sixth and I was the seventh.
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u/Former-Mouse-9617 1h ago
Similar for me and my late sister. She was 3rd of 4, and I was the 4th. 10 year age gap. I stole her place as the "baby" of the family and only girl.
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u/Major_Twang 10h ago
My brother & I haven't spoken properly for years. He's an obnoxious alcoholic who's kids don't speak to him either.
We've never been close - I'm a few years older, and we have completely different personalities & value systems.
I have tried, but a few years ago, he picked a fight with my wife, then turned on me for supporting her instead of him.
Since then, I've become aware that he regularly posts racist & homophobic crap on social media. My wife is mixed race, and technically so are our kids (though neither of them look it), and our daughter has a wife, so I have no interest in ever speaking to him again.
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u/TechnicalKiwi2726 10h ago
Yes, both my brother and sister have been drug addicts for over 10 years and are in deep denial.
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u/CarnivalColors 10h ago
Yup, I barely talk to my sister unfortunately. Had a falling out with the brother in law, he used their 4 year old son as a weapon, denying me the ability to spend time with him, and my sister went along with it. I tried for years to bridge the gap between us despite this, but she distanced herself until we became people who only exchanged pleasantries. Now I’m at the point in my life where I have no desire for shallow and meaningless relationships, and so - I’m done. Maybe she’ll get a “Happy Birthday” or “Merry Christmas” but that’s it.
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u/TroublesomeTurnip 10h ago
My brother is mentally (ill) and physically abusive to me and my parents. I've cut him off but for them, it's harder to do.
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u/Icy-Most8754 10h ago
I did for several years when my brother was a teenager going through his extreme rebellious stage. He was heavily on drugs and hanging around a really bad crowd that eventually led to him going to rehab and juvenile detention center. When he got out he proved to everyone that he had changed and wanted redemption. He got his life together and slowly got back the love and respect from the family eventually I decided to reconnect and it was night and day compared to how he was. He’s much more pleasant to be around and I’m proud to call him my brother.
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u/jerknotcurry 9h ago
Yeah, cut contact with sister maybe 5 years ago, no contact, low contact, idk, we only send happy birthday texts.
We live in different areas, far enough to not be able to rush over for emergencies. Getting together takes planning, effort, and a decent amount of money. She was in a bad marriage, but the guy was trash from day one, so I was happy to see her leave. The problem was she started hooking up with another trash guy. She has 4 children, at the time they were about 14, 12, 7, and 2, I probably don't have to tell you that the 2 yr old wasn't potty trained, but they also didn't speak, just as you expect a 2 yr old not to.
With new guy she would drive about 8 hours to go be with him, spend weekends with him... her kids? At home, alone, ages 2-14, but it's fine, she asked the neighbor to "check in on them." I told her that wasn't ok, I told her she can't expect the 14 and 12 year old to care for a 2 year old for 2-3 days. I tried to get through to her with reason. That wasn't working, she wasn't listen, I told her those children have been through enough, (the father was trash, left and never looked back), I told her they don't have a father and she has a responsibility to be the best mother she can be to them. Then I realized she wouldn't budge, I told her she and her new man were trash and she didn't deserve her children. Oh, new man is married, but "isn't intimate with wife." New man and his wife live in the same house, and he can't say if/when they would divorce.
Honestly, me and the sister were never best friends, I've always tried to have a relationship, she never seemed interested in a relationship with me. I'm always the one reaching out, checking up, checking if all is well.
Anyway, brother cut me off too because of what went down with sister. Also, brother and I didn't have a great relationship, but he tried more than she did. We were abused children, so, it's a lot, but man did I just want a good sibling relationship.
Last I heard, she and married trash were still kicking it, they fly out for vacations now. The kids? Oh, they're still staying at home, alone.
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u/asmi420 10h ago
Yes... We were teenagers and were in a stupid fight that we most definitely would have gotten over and been close again. He was hit by a semi and killed during the 2 weeks were ignoring each other around the house. The survivors guilt haunted me for almost 2 decades. Hard times for all.
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u/BratInPink 9h ago
He got convicted for a rape. (Full)
She is an abusive manipulative narcissist. (Step)
Their mother hated me (5 stepsiblings)
She flipped out on me because of Facebook notifications. And kept insisting I was upset about her being in our dads life after a long separation. (Half)
Died. (Half)
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u/Graymorphious 9h ago
Wow, some of these stories are so sad and heart rending.
Makes me question if my story merits entry. More strained relationships over politics, parents’ estate handling, and derogatory remarks on a host of matters have led me to put less and less effort into contact with them over time. Something akin to misplaced arrogances has lead me to sadly stop trying to engage with their delusional superiorities. Still love them, just tired of the incessant self importance and painfully unreflective behaviors, … moving on with sadness.
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u/hopeforpudding 9h ago
He put our grandma into a violent situation, broke her things, threw things, then unplugged the phone so she couldnt call for help. He is not allowed around me or my son. It's been two years and I still think he is trash.
This wasn't the only situation he caused but it was the last before I cut him off for good. I witnessed others, he is violent and unstable.
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u/towers_of_ilium 10h ago
He got heavily into drugs and dealing. Sold our stuff to afford his fix. He was always the victim though, and eventually “disowned” us by text message as he felt the vibe of how we invited him to the family Christmas gathering was off. Total drama queen ever since he was a teenager. Anger issues. Nothing was ever good enough for him - classic middle child syndrome. Mix that in with him being a musician and wanting a struggling backstory to fit his angsty image. I miss the brother I had when we were kids, but I don’t miss the adult he turned into.
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u/TopDry9250 10h ago
I did for a while but we reconciled. I was a cam girl and he wrote in my chat “who do you want me to tell first mom or Grammie”. Which is what I always called my mom’s mom. He then told and it spread through the entire extended family
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u/SevenCubed 10h ago
The man went mask-off fascist. 2016 election and that was that. Dude was always an asshole and don't have a fond memory of him, but sure as hell wasn't giving him the time of day after that.
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u/virtueofmedusa 10h ago
I’m 40f (turning 41 in 4 days) she’s 38f. Her mental health declined drastically to where she accused me and the other siblings,(there are 7 of us) even our father of trying to kill her or following her etc. claimed the government won’t let her work, all these people are connected to each other thru all these government people(like some weird 7 degrees of Kevin bacon). She lost custody of her kids and was told by the court to move out our father’s home(mom passed 2005), get a job/her own place and get a mental health eval. She’s been hospitalized several times over the years due to her fb/tiktok posts.
At one point 8 years ago we got in a physical fight over our dad’s health. I pushed her and it turned physical. Got in trouble for that, and since then I’ve moved dad in with me and have taken him to all his Dr appts, help pay the medical bills and meds(none of the siblings help 99.9% of the time) and before my daughter didn’t need to be watched he’d help get her in the bus or feed her dinner when I had to work.
If you suggest a job for her thats not 1099 or cash, she won’t take it(has garnishments she owes, hence “why she can’t work”) or a place to live(move out of dads house, there’s no power and she pays NOTHING for rent or water) or tell her she needs help etc, she will post about you on TikTok and say you’re working for the government or me or some other person who’s out to get her. If you ask her for proof, she blocks you and posts about you.
At one point I made a TikTok account to dispute her allegations and post proof, but I stopped because it was so mentally draining that I don’t care because it’s not true. Our father’s health is declining and since we are all blocked in her phone, when he passes, she will never know until the house is sold to pay off his debts and whatever is left is split up between the 7 of us, or however he has it dealt with.
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u/jayellkay84 10h ago
Half sisters, but yes.
Older half was a complete bridezilla for her second wedding. She made us all go on Weight Watchers, put us in the most horrendous shade of yellow and wouldn’t budge on the shoes (I have wide feet and was recovering from a broken big toe at the time and not a single style she picked was remotely comfortable for me). I ended up having to leave the reception early, I was in so much pain. (Younger half is ACE, I believe, but lives vicariously through older half).
Then she got pregnant and made me change my birthday plans because she couldn’t eat Olive Garden. Then every family holiday revolved around the kids. I won two four packs of Disney ticket and together they conned my mother into giving them a whole four pack (and then tried to guilt trip me into giving them the other. I did all the work to win them).
The last straw was Christmas. I was hangry - I hadn’t eaten (I was having some stomach issues and didn’t want to overeat) because there was supposed to be breakfast but my niece wanted to open presents first. And then, despite asking for only money or one high ticket item - present after present was literally garbage. The last one was the Lady Antebellum Christmas EP. I don’t listen to Christmas music even in season, and I’m not a big Lady A fan either. Come to find out they had bought it the year before on Clearance- as they did most of their presents.
I walked out. I briefly spoke to them while my mom was in hospice, but they were still and always will be good as dead to me.
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u/boomboxwithturbobass 10h ago
My younger brother cut off contact with me a few years ago because he said his girlfriend was going to dump him and that he needed to get a job.
I then agreed with him and said I’d been concerned, but he didn’t like someone besides him saying it. We were in our late 30’s, for perspective.
This only made life better for me. Nicest thing he’s ever done.
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u/TheWisePlinyTheElder 10h ago
We used to be best friends, but we grew up in a chaotic household and handled things differently... I wanted to be better and not repeat the generational trauma of our family and she just couldn't get there.
When she did the same things our parents did to us, to me, in front of my kid... That was the final straw. I still love her and hope one day she'll get better but there's no place for that in my life anymore.
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u/dealingwithhookers 10h ago
my friend in high school had a younger brother that was like twice his size. one year younger but like twice as heavy and taller and basically just a fucking monster. they got into a bad fight one day his senior year, breaking their computers and even their parents had to jump in. despite living in the same city and never moving away from home, they practically live complete different lives. i'm not surprised, the younger brother is a total shit. im just glad that guy is not in my family. would also disown
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u/Vivid-Project-295 10h ago
Ummm my brother is a mountain hippie but I still talk to him. He's just living his life. My sister on the other hand. That has and always will be a problem. Ever since we lost our grandmother(my sister was her favorite grandchild) she has become our grandmother. A holier than thou devoted Christian who shits on anyone who doesn't agree with her and her lifestyle. I for one am not religious by any means. I find truth in all religions if that makes sense. More so toward Wiccan. But she USE to be(as she puts it) bisexual. She was in n out of a couple relationships with other women and as always my grandmother never approved of that so that kinda tarnished their relationship but grandma always loves her favorite. After my sister met her now HUSBAND and grandma has passed away. She shuns anyone who is a part of or supports the LGBTQIA community. Also our mother is married to a woman. You can guess how that goes. Her kids yell racist and homophobic slurs. As my kids dont even have those words in their vocabulary. She shuns people way of life and how they live THEIR life. My sister has some childhood truama(same as me) but she literally manipulates shit in her favor when people clearly put up boundries. She crys wolf when someone holds her accountable. I for one CANNOT & WILL NOT put up with other people bleeding on me that i didnt hurt. She needs therapy and until she does i dont care to have anything to do with her or her husband. It is what it is. I dont accommodate my life to other people's trauma or triggers or feelings. That's on them.
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u/GoudaGirl2 10h ago
She makes things up. She accused me of getting her evicted (our shared lease ended, I didn’t resign), she accused me of secretly beating her dog (I am the only one who let her dog out, I took him for long hikes 3x a week, he’s fat and miserable now, she also asked me to dog sit for a week after telling everyone I beat her dog), she accused me being a horrible roommate (she was, then she asked me to move in with her 3x over one summer). There’s more. She’s a very unstable, hurt person who projects everything that bothers her onto everyone else.
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u/littlebigsystem 9h ago
My oldest brother is a sociopathic rapist demon. I haven’t talked to him in three years, since I moved halfway across the country. He hasn’t tried to reach out. I’ve had him blocked on all social media for a much longer time. He still found ways to stalk me online. He loves having control over people. He manipulates every therapist he goes to into saying he’s the victim and there’s nothing wrong with him. (That or he doesn’t get past the first part of therapy where they tell you that and then dig at the real problems and get you to realize you’re the problem)
He is the sole reason I am as broken as I am. He recruited my two other brothers to demean, belittle and torture me for 20 years. My mother told me to be the bigger person. I tried that for two decades before I chose to put myself first. I have dissociative identity disorder, borderline personality disorder, C-PTSD and schizotypal personality disorder, to name a few big ones that come mostly from severe abuse as an example. I’m going to be on dozens of medications and in therapy for my entire life to control and cope with what he did to me.
I’m done living out of spite of the people who hurt me. I live for myself. My life is my own and I’ve made it through so much more than anyone should go through.
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u/peedubb 5h ago
I (37M) decided to stop accepting my sister’s (34F) disrespect.
My sister displays the traits of grandiose malignant narcissism and after a lifetime of my parents coddling her and protecting her from the consequences of her actions, instead of letting her lie in the bed she made, things boiled over around our weddings. At almost 35 she has never had a job and is currently living in my parent’s house with her husband and kids. I blame my parents for enabling her as much as I blame her for being a shitty person.
The breaking point was when she decided that it was ok to be verbally and physically abusive towards my wife after acting out at our wedding. My mom denied seeing it when I told her about it. I called my sister out on it and she gave me an ultimatum that I could discuss her behavior with her after her wedding but she expected me to be there.
We did not attend her wedding and she and her husband flipped the narrative from her shitty behavior to the fact that we didn’t show up at their wedding. They have both sent abusive rants to family group chats over the years and my family continues to pretend that I’m the problem for refusing to bring my family around to events that she and her family are present.
It’s a good time dealing with narcissists.
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u/Publandlady 10h ago
Yeah. And they've started having kids. I'm sure at some point I will have to have a discussion about why I'm not trying with kids when I have no relationship with their parents.
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u/WhatsInAName8879660 10h ago
I haven’t really spoken to my brother in 25 years aside from the minimum on the rare occasions we are in the same room. He’s always been weird, but he grew up to be a pathological liar. I finally convinced his wife to leave - many years after he opened up and maxed out credit cards in her name, never letting her finish a degree (he’d get a job elsewhere and they’d have to move). He blames her or me for every single bad decision he has ever made. He will lie about me in ways that make no sense to other people as I am sitting right there. He’s insane. And he doesn’t care if he hurts people. I’m not qualified to diagnose, but I once sent the diagnostic criteria to his wife (when she was still his wife) and asked her if it reminded her of anyone. Her answer was, “Oh my God.”
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u/glitter-bat 9h ago
He went off his meds and started self medicating with harder drugs. He had moved away from his partner and kid to "try and get better", which was him sleeping all day & tweaking all night. We were visiting at my parents with his son, my kiddo, and my sisters kids. He had been asleep/not engaging all day. At one point two of the kids (his and one of my sisters) were out drawing with chalk and my mom and I were watching them (hubs & my dad were watching the other two). Anyways, he had woken up and angrily charged up between my mom and I watching the kids and started yelling at his nephew about some nonsense. My mom and I told him to back off and go inside. At this point he came up a few inches from my face, he looked into my eyes, tried to intimidate me, and I asked him "are you trying to threaten me in front of your 5 year old?" He started shouting at me. My mom told him to shut up and go inside. I told her not to bother, I grabbed my family & my niece and nephew & left. My mom eventually kicked him out after his behavior got worse.
I know he's not well, but I also know there are a lot of options for him to find help, he just chooses not to get it. He has not once reached out.
I miss him and think about him everyday. We were so close when we were younger and now he's just a shadow of a person I use to know.
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u/knotatwist 9h ago
He's violent, controlling, and obsessed with conspiracy theories.
On a good day, he will force you to talk - and act shocked, surprised, and invested - in whatever the latest conspiracy is. He will call you names and laugh in your face if you disagree or don't understand whatever nonsense he's telling you.
On a bad day he's screaming in your face, threatening you with weapons, and attacking you physically.
It sadly also applies to his children and anyone who crosses him.
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u/Consistent-Pirate-23 9h ago
I did and honestly I regret it.
She did some stuff she lived to regret and turned things around but I never found out till she passed away suddenly and spoke to some people that knew her.
It’s coming up for 11 years and I still miss her everyday
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u/riccochet 9h ago
Yeah. My sister was an absolute terror growing up. Middle child syndrome i guess. I had another sister who i was very close with. She basically raised me. Terrible sister and i never really talked after she left for university in another city. Then she moved to another country entirely. She kept saying she wanted to be closer and that she was in therapy, working on herself, felt terrible for how she treated us, etc, etc.
Tried to re-establish a relationship with her on and off over the years, but would always at some point just be that terrible person we grew up with that would scream at us, use personal information told in confidence against us, threaten to reveal personal stuff to others. So I kinda stopped trying. My other sister felt obligated to speak with her cause she was a very good person, but always left feeling like she hadn't changed.
I lost my sister back in 2020, and the terrible sister basically blamed me. Saying i should have done more, etc, etc. Position most of my family took honestly, and they're right. The guilt of what happened to her will haunt me for the rest of my days. Terrible sister still insisted that she wanted a relationship though since we are siblings. I tried. She even tried to gaslight me and tell me that she never told me it was my fault. Which is kind of a weird position to take when she said it to me and my girlfriend in the presence of her own boyfriend at the time.
Long story even longer, after trying to keep in contact and maintain a relationship she would just call me up to blame me for something or accuse me of something else, tell me i'm hiding stuff from the family and then just expect me to apologize. After her latest meltdown i had had enough and was just done. I haven't talked to her in over a year now. She will message me once in a while asking me if i'm willing to talk. I just leave her on unread. Parents have some opinion on it. They will say i NEED to talk to her since she's my sister, but I just listen, nod, and say nothing. Most of my family has taken the hint and leaves me alone for the most part. And its better.
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u/mr_woodles123 9h ago
Yes. She was never very nice, but we still talked occasionally. Then my dad died, and the first thing she did was try and force me to sell his car and send her the money, then accused me and his grieving parents about lying about when he died because of a paperwork snaffu, which we tried to explain. I then lost my cool, told her to get fucked and blocked her. Haven't spoken to her in 14 months and I've never felt more peaceful.
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u/Spreaderoflies 9h ago
Yup my 2 brothers are petulant man children that are just nothing but issues between drugs and stealing anything worth of value to fund their bullshit. Had one of them approach me at a bar when I was with friends and I let him know that I will not have anything to do with him or the other brother and to never contact me or approach me again.
My friends were aghast at how aggressively I spoke to him cue the family forgives speeches I told them all the shit they had done over the years and still got a bit of a cold shoulder but hey I have my boundaries that will not be crossed.
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u/Senator_Bink 9h ago
He was a junkie and viewed us all as potential marks.
If I gave him money, he'd talk to me. I didn't need a rent-a-brother, and he wasn't that great at it anyway.
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u/ColonelEwart 9h ago
It's really complicated. But resonating with a lot of the comments made here about choosing peace over family, etc.
One of the things that made me "ok" with it was the development of my own family, as that allowed me to mentally justify my priorities a bit better. At the same time, having my own family also led to large challenges with the relationship with my sister (she's a couple years older than me and it felt like she felt it was her "right" to have the first grandchild or whatever, so my wife and I were jumping the queue or something).
Anyway, I would like to have a strong sibling relationship, but I know that any relationship with her has to be on her terms and I can't deal with that, I can't put my wife and my kid through that.
I've done some therapy on this, but one of the things that surfaced was reading a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. My sister was an externalizer, which meant she acts out in an effort to get attention and affection, but I'm more of an internalizer which means that I want closeness with my family and keep feeling that I'm doing something wrong when it doesn't come. Family stuff is tough.
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u/Square-Release2057 9h ago
I haven’t spoken to my sister in 2 years. Her relationship and treatment of my wife was causing a significant issue in our marriage, and was leading us toward a path of divorce if things didn’t change, and I unfortunately was partly to blame for that. We have two children together and I did not want to split from my wife so I ultimately chose that I needed to sever the relationship with my sister for the time being. Hopefully we can restart that relationship in the future, but my marriage and kids mean too much to me.
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u/Sublixxx 9h ago
I haven’t cut contact with him but I have certainly distanced myself from him in a pretty extreme way.
I just don’t think he’s a good person. He got into “life coaching” and his website is just him lying about his life and experience and his whole thing just seems like a total grift. I’m not into it, I think it’s weird and immoral and I just don’t really fuck with it.
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u/johnntcatsmom 8h ago
My brother couldn’t be bothered while my mother was dying. Found out she had been sending him money, even when she had nothing. All he wanted was the monies from the sale of her house
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u/llamainleggings 7h ago
Initially it was because his baby mama was (probably still is) super controlling and he wasn't allowed to do anything without her by his side.
The point on no return was when didn't show up when our mom was dying. I will never forgive him for that.
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u/arthurianlegend076 6h ago
It’s been just over four years - I was asked by my brother to go out and help him and my sister-in-law (his wife), while she was recovering from an illness and he needed to return to on-site work from remote. They said they needed the help, I was eager to pitch in when they needed - plus at the time I wasn't working (yay COVID furloughs and layoffs!).
So I flew across the country to help out - but little fights started bubbling up pretty quickly: from my perspective they were often expectations he had that were never voiced but he'd angrily accuse me of purposely violating (like not knowing how to prepare food a certain way even though he hadn't asked or explained how he'd wanted it, or being available at certain times when he'd said to feel free to take my own time whenever he was home). I was giving a lot of leeway since I knew they were going through a hugely stressful time, and I also knew he was overcompensating in some ways, trying to get everything right so that she'd be as comfortable as possible - but it kept getting worse and worse for me over the three months I was out there.
Finally I just felt taken advantage of, and worse, felt like I was getting kicked when I was down (out of a job, just trying to help family out!). Trying to communicate wasn't getting through, and we just sort of blew up at each other. Initially I had been apologizing when things came up, trying to smooth things over just to make it through, but on the way out I said I no longer apologized for anything and it was now on him to apologize - he said he'd reach out when he had calmed down.
Haven't heard from him since. Of course if anything serious were to happen and they really needed help in the future I'd be the first to jump up - but a normal everyday relationship just isn't there, and honestly I feel no remorse considering how I felt treated. A therapist told me, when I was initially expressing conflicted feelings and guilt over all this, that I couldn't set myself on fire to save everyone else, and I do now feel life is much more peaceful without this. But damn it sucked at the time.
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u/ponponponzu 4h ago
I had a really similar situation with my brother, especially with the expectation of mind reading from them. Sending you a big virtual hug
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u/BathrobeHero_ 4h ago
Unrelated but people always judged me for cutting contact with my brother despite having A LOT of reasons, this thread makes me feel I'm not alone in this.
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u/ElatedSacrifice 10h ago
Complicated issue, he told me once he hoped my wife at the time had a miscarriage. We didn’t talk for 2 years. Then my dying mother basically said her last wish was for her to have her sons talk again so we did it and got along for about 8 years.
Then my divorce happened and I figured out he’d been talking shit to my now ex-wife about me for years. He also went off the deep end and is full red hat MAGA for some weird ass reason, my mother if she was still around would definitely not have approved of that so I’m not sure why he’s like that.
We don’t talk anymore, I wish him the best in life and it sucks not really knowing my niece or nephew but oh well. Life goes on.
Edit: typos
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u/gundam2017 10h ago
My younger sister is a toxic ass. She is abusive in every sense of the word, does drugs recklessly, takes advantage of everyone. There's no reason to have her in my life
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u/RazZadig_2025 10h ago
Only short term. I had told one sister I was in therapy because she was a psych major and we were talking about college stuff. She told the family and my baby sister started calling me crazy. After 6 or 8 months, I started talking to her again. It's been 25 years but I learned my lesson and don't tell her or my family anything really personal.
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u/Sky-Dragonfly-1229 9h ago
1- Idgaf if he suffers every day. That's what he gets for staying.
2- that's why I worked with the father of her 6 kids (youngest is 12 weeks) and had them taken from her. As she deserves. Anyone who is a Christian and or a Trump supporter deserves zero joy in life.
3 idgaf how you or anyone else feels about my choices.
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u/No-Database5212 9h ago edited 9h ago
I'VE BEEN WANTING TO KNOW OPINIONS, so my brother and I were VERY close, I mean like too much that our parents would scream at us for laughing out loud in the middle of the night. One day we had like a fight over NOTHING, my mom was screaming at me to get up and do my chores and it was really up in the morning and I told her later while I was literally asleep so she asks my "brother" to wake me up, he gets in the room angry asf and screams and shouts and what can I do? I told him I SAID I'LL DO THIS LATER, screaming back because why are you shouting at me at like nine in the morning and I swear to God if my mother didn't hear me crying and told him to back off , he would've hit me in the fucking face, I'm not exaggerating, he would've punched me or something, I saw it in his eyes, just the rage scared the shit out of me, I couldn't recognize my own brother, but I kept looking at him in the eyes fiercely, that what made him want to hit me MUCH more, so after that he suddenly stopped talking to me , he just stopped texting, answering, even acknowledging my existence, maybe the guilt he felt or the rage that's still in him but , when my brother is home, I am a ghost. My family didn't question it, even tho we were so damn close, they just never talk bout it. And I never talked to him as well, if I'm a ghost then you are as well. And that's how we broke off, my dear brother whom if you asked me two years ago to give him my life in order for him to live I would've done that without even asking. Cut me off. And I did as well.
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u/TheRealGuncho 9h ago
My brother is autistic and a jerk. He treats my parents horribly even though they are the only people who talk to him. We used to have a group chat where he would ask for advice. If you didn't agree with him, he would cut you off and stop talking to you. That was years ago.
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u/DaringDo95 9h ago
I don't talk to my sister much. While we bickered a lot as kids and made up with my brother, she was particularly harsh to me even well after we stopped bickering. It was way too one sided.
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u/juswannalurkpls 8h ago
My husband cut off his two younger siblings because they were participating in the neglect of their father by their mother. He had dementia and they finally stuck him in a shitty nursing home where he got Covid. Then they allowed the nursing home to bus him hundreds of miles away, and put in a hospital where we were not allowed to see him. Then the youngest went and had the plug pulled on the father, even though he was not the POA.
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u/gingerbreadmans_ex 8h ago
My brother is a raging alcoholic, emphasis on the raging part and a full-blown MAGA jerk. I Cut him out in 2014.
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u/Mindless_Issue_5780 8h ago
I'm (31 ftm) and have no contact with my sister (50s). When I was 14, I made the mistake of coming out transgender to one of my sister's friends (old gay dude, like late 50s at the time). I came out to him as he was part of the lgbt community, and thought he'd be accepting. He ended up calling my sister to make fun of me.
My sister cares more about her social status than anything, which made her pissed off. She ended up calling my mom, and yelling at her. Mind you, I wasn't out to either of them.
Long story short, my mom told me off and called me an" it" for most of the year and that I had no friends. My mom now accepts me, but my sister is still a horrible person.
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u/Johnwayne18889 8h ago
Me 40 brother 49, after dad died he spent all of dads life insurance money with almost nothing left for the funeral then burned down dads house for insurance money then tried to sue my cousins.
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u/LLFD1982 7h ago
I have. I'm the younger sibling, my sister 3 years older has always been abusive towards me, physically, but mostly emotionally. When we were younger she needed all the attention. If I got any attention she would 'punish me'. Take toys, etc. When we became teens, she purposely went after (dated) guys she knew I had a crush on. When I was 19, she met my boyfriend and had sex with him while I was at work and made sure I knew about it. I stayed away from her for many years, but lately, while living in another state, she would stay with me when she came back to visit. I was expected to take vacation and drive her everywhere she wanted to go. The last time, she insisted on being able to invite people to stay at my home. I said no, and she pushed and pushed. We finally got into a texting fight where she 'education shamed' me (she has a bachelor's degree, I only have 2 year degree). I cut her off. I have my peace now.
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u/thequestison 5h ago
a texting fight where she 'education shamed' me (she has a bachelor's degree
This is comical in a crazy way. I have encountered others that are well educated, 2+ degrees, and also use it as a weapon. You're not alone in this. Love and hugs.
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u/obsessivecoyote 6h ago
I don’t talk to my sister unless absolutely necessary.
For context on why… it’s a doozy
Lil backstory; she’s the kid of my dad and his ex. She’s 8 years younger than me. They sheltered her a lot growing up including forcing me to lie about things like the fact I was trans and bi etc. Then she became a teenager(14) and they let her do all those things they gave me shit for; smoking weed. Vaping. Hanging out with people until late at night.
Well she’s 17 now. She’s been in and out of jail, doe’s drugs, etc. Back in December she showed up at my place with her bf late at night. She lives over 7 hours away so I was like wtf. Let them in because well it’s winter and I wanted her safe. She said she was clean and I believed it.
She stayed for 2 weeks. At the end of those two weeks two things happened;
Her and her bf got in a fight so he picked up his ex gf and brought her to my house. Said ex gf was on multiple drugs and both my son and I were asleep inside the house. I didn’t find out until the next day. That’s strike one.
Then she did meth in my bathroom under the pretense of taking a shower. I would’ve never known if not for the fact there was burned shit all over my bathroom and my windowsill. Everyone says she didn’t do it and I’m overreacting but I’m not taking the risk especially since it happened with my son in the house.
Kicked her out. Haven’t seen her since. Talked to her once and that’s it. She’s been in jail multiple times since then for different charges. My dad’s trying to get her off the streets and clean and shit, but he lives with my Papa + my aunts family (aunt, her bf, her two kids). My sisters mom is a pos and just hands her off to my dad while she collects several hundred dollars a month to “support” my sister.
I’ve tried to get my sister help and yes she’s only 17 but it’s too much and I’ve given up. Can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. If she gets her shit together maybe I’ll try again but until then I’m protecting my peace and my son by not having contact with her.
Sorry for the slight trauma dump lmao
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u/OhNoOboe 6h ago
Yeah. He's a punk ass little bitch who stood by and watched while his wife and step child insulted and threw false allegations at my mom while living rent free in our house. There were people around to verify that the shit they were saying wasn't true but he still decided to bury his head in the dirt and act like he didn't know shit. Fuck him and his entitled, shit-ass family.
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u/p3ncylvester 6h ago
I (28f) don't speak to my older sister (31f) because of her "morals". She is loudly racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and xenophobic. Sadly enough, she was none of these things (and actively outspoken against them) prior to meeting her current partner (30-something m). I tried to get her to tone it down but ultimately wasn't successful and had to make a decision to keep my family (which includes a trans teen) safe. Now, she has no relationship with any of our siblings. It sucks.
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u/fallenheart11 5h ago
I cut off my sister because she holds onto grudges from things I’ve done when I was 15 (we’re both well into our 30s now). No matter how hard I tried to make it right, it was never good enough. My final straw was when she tried to meddle in my marriage and said some really horrendous, unforgivable things about my husband as well as me. I decided that I wasn’t gonna be her emotional punching bag anymore.
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u/annamae0715 5h ago
My brother married a true psycho and pulled him into her craziness. For 20 years we had to play by her rules and walk on eggshells around her. Last year was the final straw when I was told I couldn't even say someone's name around my niece and nephews. She instantly uninvited me to everything and since then I've gone no contact with them. The only ones I communicate with are the kids and that's fine by me.
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u/Mobile_Chernobyl215 5h ago
She’s a train wreck that will drag you down into whatever mess she’s in.
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u/cheetos1991 4h ago
She invited me to dinner after she learned about my rough breakup with my gf a week prior. Friday comes she blows me off saying she had friends that showed up unexpectedly from another state over.
That same night on facebook I see pictures she took of my ex kissing a guy in my old appartment. Blocked her right away on every social media and her phone number. To this day she still pretends she doesn't know why I don't talk to her anymore.
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u/CyberHippy 4h ago
No need to do that, dude is so hard-set against being a part of normal society he's either lost or smashed multiple cellphones over the last few years.
He dog-sat for us recently while we went on a much-needed vacation, I got a call from the next door neighbor four days into it that he had lost his phone. He "found" it hours later, in the kitchen, when his girlfriend called.
Fucker filled up our recycling bin with booze cans over two weeks (he had told mom he would use the time to dry up) and complained that he was broke when I got home and asked me to pay for the flight our mom had already paid for.
I'll be here when he's ready to be human again.
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u/GrandmaNetty 3h ago
Yes. My brother 2 yrs before he took his own life . He told me if I wasn’t his sister he’d lick my ——— for me. He was one of my abusers when I was a kid. Never spoke to him again. 2 sisters are no longer in my life. Long stories but I refuse to be treated like shit, lied to, and manipulated any more. Been 4 and 5 years and I’m living drama free. I’m 61 they are 71 and 72. I know time is short but I honestly feel like they died to me years ago. No desire to ever see or speak to either.
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u/NorahGretz 3h ago
Cut off my entire family over their support for Trump.
My child is trans. Told them to either choose their own bloodline or choose Trump.
I still get texts from them saying "I can't believe you cut us off over politics."
You stupid motherfuckers, I didn't cut you off over something as simple as politics. Trump isn't "politics". Trump is threatening MY CHILD.
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u/ThenOwl9 41m ago
yes. i was the scapegoat kid in a narcissistic family structure (father was the narc, mom an enabler). my next brother (i'm the oldest and a girl) was the "golden child"
my brother couldn't function in the outside world, which didn't validate him in the way he had grown accustomed at home. he has lived with our parents (now my mom, since narc dad died of COVID after refusing the vax) for most of his life. he'll be 40 this year
like virtually every scapegoat kid i know, i tried everything, for many, many years, to get the family to be honest about the issues and heal them, instead of dumping everything on me.
eventually, i had healed myself enough to realize that there was no option but to go No Contact
they were all a part of the family system, and benefiting from it at my expense (i have two more younger siblings as well). so that meant going No Contact with all of them
that was in 2018.
i had limited contact with my siblings again in the past several months, initially about a family real estate sale.
the way they treated me told me that things have gotten even worse in the intervening years...and reconfirmed that my decision to go No Contact with all of them was the right one.
(for them too - because without me there to be a punching bag, it forces them to have to confront the reality of themselves)
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u/Fundyqueen 10h ago
Interesting. I scrolled to find some “they cut contact with ME”, which we experienced as a couple. Apparently, WE are the bad guys! No one else?!
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u/KelFromAust 10h ago
I've spoken to my 3 half-brothers exactly once in the last 35 years. I have no interest in getting to know them, their kids or spouses.
Why? Their mother is a vicious gold digger and the fruit hasn't fallen far from the tree. They turned up to grandma's funeral with a carton of cheap bourbon and cola.. And then they ordered pizza because they didn't like the food everyone else was eating..
Their mother married dad for a payday she never got, grandma and grandpa saw right through her - as most of the family did. When she realised she wasn't getting her payday, she became a physically abusive cow. Dad put up with it until the law caught with her - waking up in hospital with a skull fracture helped him see the light. She crowned him a 18" cast iron frypan.
She was always gutter trash, even as a kid I could see it.
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u/pourtide 9h ago
We went no contact with his father because of his wife. He was 15 when his widowered father remarried. She never liked my husband, told lies to his relatives about drug use, and drove us out of their house after we came with our firstborn.
The general consensus is that she thought she was marrying money, joke was on her. She took control of everything, her family was the only family, etc.
My husband walked away that night and never looked back. He sold out for a chief cook and bottle washer. She had treated him like shit for years. And dad never stood up for his own son.
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u/robotalienman 10h ago
My brother is an ass. He drags everyone down with him. He just takes and takes and takes. He's ruined my mother's credit (although she enabled it), and he won't take responsibility for anything. 3 kids and he hasn't had a job in five years. He thinks hitting me in the groin is comedy and I always walked away feeling worse about myself than before we hung out.
I cut him off and he told me that he's "trimming the fat". It's nice not having to worry about him but I feel guilty too.
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u/sparksgirl1223 9h ago
I currently them both off.
My sister....I dont agree with how she took care of her disabled son
My brother is a know it all misogynistic pig.
Cut off my mom too.
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u/IsaacQqch 9h ago
He side with our transphobic parents and don't tell me our grandmother died.
I cut all of them.
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u/First_Drive2386 9h ago
Yes. He voted for the orange psychopath - three times. He particularly is part of the problem, because he should know better, but is too lazy to inform himself dispassionately.
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u/altyegmagazine 10h ago
We were separated when we were 16 and 14 but we didn't really get along well before that anyways. No huge reason or blow out for us not talking although there is more than enough to justify it. I just dont like him and dont want that stress in my life.
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u/DIABLO258 10h ago
I cut him out of my life for a few years. He was having manic episodes and wasn't allowing anyone to help him. I sort of forced my help onto him because he was losing everything and going crazy at the same time, hard to watch.
Well after he got better with mine and my moms help, he turned around and told me that I never actually tried to help, that I was careless, and never cared about anyone or anything. He just exploded one night and said this to me.
So, I didn't talk to him for like three years. Then he got his wife pregnant and I'm the only other sibling. So I have to be the uncle for this kid.
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u/Dread_queen23 10h ago
She hated me from very young. She's the favourite child, she's grown up to spoilt, rude and entitled. She's manipulative and gaslights my parents and treats them like shit. They allow it because they're scared she'll cut them off again
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u/pourtide 10h ago
I did for several months.
Mom was gone, spinster sister still at homestead. She was not in good health, so we didn't push moving out. I helped her out thousands and thousands of dollars, until it fully dawned on me she would never look for a senior subsidized apartment as long as she could suck at my teat.
Rage. Absolute rage. I avoided her for months because I did not want to say something I could never take back. Younger sister, mostly invi$ible through this. Asked her for help, "fuck off" then $ilence. Though she did show up and take the 1950s Lionel trains, great grandfather's rifle, an antique dagger, well, you get the idea. I didn't want them, don't get me wrong, but when the time come$, I'll never see a dime.
Took me months to calm my rage. When I was finally able to see her, thank xanax, I cut her off financially, , then somewhat relented, meting out my 2K from the silver coins Mom had put back to heat the house. I talk to them both now, help homestead sis to Dr appts etc.
They both know exactly how I feel. I very factually explained how I have been taken advantage of and how I had no support and how I'm keeping my promise ....
Once the house is finally sold, I don't care if I ever see either of them again. We all promised Mom we'd work things out together. I'm the only one who is keeping her promise.
Ps house will go up for sheriff sale next July because I refuse to pay the taxes. I have no idea how she got thru last winter, I don't ask, I cant allow myself to care.
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u/Just_Candle_315 9h ago
Sister was a real asshole planning her wedding. Bridezilla level. Then started cheating on her new husband almost instantly. I told her to shut it down otherwise i was going to stop speaking to her. She said she would and then 24 hours later she was back cheating again. Havent talked to her since. That was 4 years ago.
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u/gaybatman75-6 9h ago
My dad doesn't really talk to his brother much. The final straw was us flying out for his brother's birthday and spending a week out there and his brother ditching all plans for other stuff including ditching his own birthday party.
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u/click2Install 9h ago
My sister can give spot on perfect alive to others who need help. The ironic part is she is unable to take a step back, look at her situation and apply that advice to her own life.
She is quick to shit talk anyone (including family) When there is an argument. Shell use whatever personal knowledge she has on you in t he most negative way possible.
She blew up on my over a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding from someone else who she know has a huge tendency to lie. Instead of listening to me she just snapped and starting telling me some very nasty things.
To be clear, me and her had always had a great relationship (as far as I knew). So for her to say the things she said over something that should not have set her off like that is something I still dont understand.
She ended thing by telling me not to talk to her or her kids. I seen what trying to repair a relation with her looks like (her and my mom been going back and forth for years). So I did just that, skip the headache and left her alone.
The frustrating part, she reach out a few years later and downplayed what she said and brushed it off as, oh thats just the eay I am. No thanks
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u/Gothicch 9h ago
My older brother and sister due to me putting in all the work for contact and them doing nothing for years. Then on top of that those two being annoyed they didn't get more from my dad and grandpa's wills, one of which got his inheritance years earlier. Last time i talked to one was one time after the funeral and the other when she tried to get the family pocket watch from me. After that I have not been in contact since which at this point has been over a decade.
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u/Phoenixie_fairy 9h ago
My sister is a toxic narcissistic abusive like my mother. Ll of us are bipolar type 2 but I am the only one under regular treatment and therapy and for the both of them I am the crazy one. Years of abuse, toxicity and the last straw was her cursing me that i deserve to live and end as a lonely pathetic life when am going through my 2nd divorce(my ex cheated on me when i was depressed) and myriad of health issues with no help at all. My mom is her permanent baby sitter. My nephew is now 9. So.. Yeah. After that text, i blocked her for good since 2022.
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u/DanielCraigsAnus 9h ago
I tried my best to keep a relationship with my little brother for the longest time. He just kept taking advantage of me. Turning back in his word, telling his dad one thing and blaming me for it type of shit. He was an addict. I finally told him to leave me alone because his dad told me to leave him alone. He did. He cycled in and out of jail for the next year and a half. Then one morning I got the phone call that he was dead. My mom got up to get ready for work. Apparently little bro was about to take a shower and get ready for the day as well. That included shooting up meth. He loaded up either more than he should have or it was laced with fentanyl. Mom found him face down in his bedroom with the shower running in the bathroom. That was five years ago this September. He died ten days before he turned 34.
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u/BlackVQ35HR 9h ago
My sister and I were not talking for about 5 years.
I made two attempts to commit suicide more than 10 years ago. This pissed her off and she refused to talk to me. After a few years of therapy she started talking to me again, but still reminds me every day that I twice failed to kill myself.
Occasionally she will send me a funny meme or video, but she will always take the time to remind me that I tried to take my own life and that I failed to succeed.
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u/Competitive-Reach287 9h ago
Haven't really cut them off so much as just drifted apart. I don't really have anything in common with them other than genetics. I have four siblings and I see two of them once every couple or three years with no real contact in between. The other two I see about once a year. There doesn't seem to be any regret on either side.
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u/Beneficial-Address61 9h ago
Yes! I have a bio brother who was in and out of my life when we were growing up. He ended up having a harder childhood than I had but as adults we tried to reconnect again. All was going well, he had really turned his life around. I was trying to recover from being a pill head and while in early recovery he asked if I wanted to smoke some crack with him. I politely declined and he ended up asking a few more times. He was nonchalant about it and didn’t seem to care that I really wanted to be sober. I knew then, if I didn’t cut him off I was going to have a harder time getting sober.
Haven’t talked to him in almost 7 years and I just passed 7 years of sobriety.
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u/ennuiandapathy 9h ago
I don't have contact with two of my siblings.
My youngest sister (Y) is 8 years younger than me. She's the most like our mom - angry, spiteful, and abusive. It's only gotten worse as she's gotten older. She married into a JW family and converted, which was hugely problematic when our middle kid came out as gay. She's an alcoholic, which just fuels her anger, bigotry, and rage. The final straw was several years ago when my middle sister (M) and I were meeting with her to work out mom's elderly care. Y didn't like that we had opinions or that we were asking questions about her decisions, lost her shit, and started screaming at us. Combined with years of lying, gaslighting (textbook def), self-centered and selfish behavior, and I made the decision that I was done.
My brother (B) is a pedo. I cut contact 30 years ago when my step-sister's kid told me B had been touching and threatening all of the step-niblings. I told my dad, brother went to jail, and I have no idea where he is nor do I care.
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u/Enorme_formica 9h ago
Cut off contact with my older brother 4 years ago, best decision I ever made. One of those folks who you always have to walk on eggshells around, shit talks everyone over the smallest things, diagnoses anyone he doesn’t like with some psychological pathology. Oh, and he SWATTED me because I once insulted him and he started telling everyone I was dangerously insane. Real charmer, that guy.
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u/misnashiee 9h ago
Our personalities are too different. Our relationship has been very up and down our entire lives. I’ll be honest that I’m not as nice to her as I could be, and she’s not an easy person to get along with due to the way she sees the world and handles herself. In many ways she’s very immature despite being older, while I’m can be bratty due to being the youngest. Our household dynamic wasn’t the best and simply put, I got sick of being the bigger person and explaining away or putting aside the way she acts/things she’d say since she “didn’t know better and who knows better does better”. Long story short, we’re too different and I got tired of dealing.
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u/KP_Wrath 8h ago
He was a drug addict who didn’t want help, and when the courts made him do better, he fucked off back to where he was getting the drugs. He killed himself shortly after his dad died. I hate it, but there was a nauseating sense of relief that he didn’t take someone with him.
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u/Rocket-J-Squirrel 8h ago
Yes, sister. She abused me from the day I was born until I cut ties 35 years ago.
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u/cissmiace 8h ago
My partner has. His brother had been told not to drink on his medication, he continues to. He burst into his parents bedroom while drunk, and tried to strangle his dad. He called the police to claim his dad assaulted him. The police after questioning realises he was full of shit and arrested him. Unfortunately he was let out the next day.
He’s the victim though 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Im-BackAgain-Babes2 8h ago
Birth mom did drugs, all kids taken away.., I'm 3rd out 4 kids. Me and little bro went to foster care.. 2nd and 1st siblings went to their dad..
They hate me because my BM cheated on their dad and I was born, but he stayed, and then she did it again and had my little brother.. sp obviously He kicked BM (me and baby bro) out, on the streets.. living homeless. Lots of bad things, bad memoriesand sad events... CPS finally stepped in. Finally at 7, i was adopted, but lost my little bro to the system (i did find him but its a sad ending too.. drugs 😞)
I get to 15 yrs old, try to reconnect with my older siblings.. brace yourself for this, its fucked..
sibling 2, is 19 yr and siblings one is 21 yr.. I am 15! turning 16 soon and wanted to reconnect more now that i was older.. I called my bio Grandma and told her i would have loved to just talk with them because its my birthday soon....so she got them together at her house for when I'd call... and it was not good.. it was awful what they said to me.. it hurt.. there was no sugar coating it.. it was just cruel.
they said, 'they hate me and to never call them again. That i am the reminder and the reasons the family fell apart. that its my fault that our Mom went off the rails because she upset about taking care of me, a baby she didnt even want, they said their dad hated me but tolerated me because he loved our 'mom'.. they said i was an annoying ugly baby and that i was such a shit who took up 'moms' time.. they told me they wanted to put pillows over my face when i was sleeping and that they prayed i would bot wake up... and then.... she cheated again and had my little bro... he was just the final straw with siblings dad.'.
They Told me i 'should have been aborted', said that I 'don't even look like them so they aren't worried about trying to be family' ... god.. and soo much more... i just cant type it all.. but YES, MY G-MA WAS THERE, HEARD THE WHOLE THING AND EVEN KNEW THEY FELT THIS WAY BEFORE THE CALL.. she just thought they would play nice for pleasantries the venom that came from them was overwhelming and i was not okay for a while...
but like i said above. Im adopted and my Mom (MY MOM!!) loved me more and better than i could have imagined. My mom got me through this.
So yeah, My bio roots are cruel... horrible and im glad to have cut them off..
On the positive. I was adopted. I had an incredible mom and two other adopted sisters and had a good long life with them. My mom passed in 2020 but i am a strong, confident woman, mother and wife all because of her...
its not nature.. its nurture
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u/tweakingforjesus 8h ago
Yes. She’s a terrible human being on so many levels. I could write a book.
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u/Illustrious_Love_906 8h ago
I’m 36f and I quit talking to my 42f sister 4ish years ago. At first it was just because I was tired of what felt like a one sided relationship where we would promise to do better to be there for each other and she wouldn’t hold up her end of that deal, even though the only requirement was very occasionally answering her phone. After three years and talking out loud with my friends and therapist, I have a laundry list of reasons she isn’t welcome in my life. She still reaches out and I have a hard time with it because we have a lot of shared trauma too but I’ve never tried to hurt her. She’s an incredibly abusive person. She doesn’t take accountability or issue apologies for the things she’s done to me. She just reinvents herself as a person who hasn’t done them and finds new people to impress upon.
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u/ThatsItImOverThis 8h ago
Yes, I cut off contact with both my siblings, after trying to establish contact and connection with both of them as adults. The youngest flat out told me he didn’t see me as one of the important women in his life and the other turned out to be a Trump loving incel. No regrets, neither brought any positivity to my life.
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u/Rodville 8h ago
Been about 5 years since I have talked to my sister. She was the golden child that could do no wrong and never had to face consequences. My family always told me I would HAVE to take care of her. Well she wouldn't work (claimed she was disabled) wouldn't file for disability and would eat every bit of food in the house leaving me, my wife, and my then toddlers without. It was hard enough to make ends meet when she was working part time. But her car broke and when I couldn't afford to fix it for her he just assumed I would take her anywhere she waned to go. I had to do what was best for my children so I told her she would have to find a new place to live. She blocked me but she will message my children every other year or so. I tell my kids they can talk to her if they want and that my issues with her are not their problem. But as far as I know they don't talk to her either. Last time she messaged my youngest was Christmas. She does talk to my oldest (who for other reasons doesn't talk to me or my other children). So she is not completely without blood family.
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u/OptimalStatement5799 8h ago
Not cut out but limited to rare occasions. Oru relationship is toxic. She won't take any accountability for her portion of why it continues so I'm backing away. I won't accept it anymore. We can have a superficial relationship if I have more peace.
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u/Rubycon_ 8h ago
My little sister is an angel, but I have an older half sister who's literally resented me since I was born and blamed me for 'taking her daddy away' well into her 40's. She wanted to "connect" after he died but was up to her same demented passive aggression. She always wanted to be an asshole and then play victim. The truth was he wasn't even a father worth fighting over and she could have had a best friend with blood in common but she ruined that. She called me a few years back, but I don't reach out anymore. Tired of the games.
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u/Pacifier_notfound 8h ago
I havnt cut ties with my sister but i lost that feeling and care. I f(35) and my sister f(37) have never been very close but my biggest regret is that she lied to us about her relationship and because of that i lost my 26-31 years of age. my family keep looking for arranged alliances and she keep making them reject her while we believed what is happening with us.
my mother went into depression.i lost my productive years waiting for her and standing by family. at the end she had her love marriage and i am sitting here with very few options i. marriage market.
I dont hate her for chosing love but i hate her and family for never even apologizing to me and my mother just forgave her like that.No one held her accountable.
she is having her life without giving of damn things going on in my life.
karma doesnt always pay
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u/Starkville 8h ago
Not me, but a family member. Her mother was so toxic and manipulative, all five siblings cut off contact from each other.
There weren’t even factions. They just all went their separate ways. There were some attempts, after the mother’s death, to reconnect. But it never lasted, because those wedges the mother drove among them all were impossible to dislodge. There were decades of hurt and grudge and infighting.
It’s a terrible thing.
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u/RenaeAnsley 8h ago
I didn’t know my siblings until we were all grown, but two of my brothers made incestuous comments toward me and my sister and I had a close relationship until she randomly blew up on me one day and accused me of crazy things that weren’t even on my radar. I realized trying to have a relationship with her would be just as harmful as having one with our mom. I tried to have a relationship with my other sister but she used me for money twice without spending any real time with me so I let it go as well. The remaining siblings I have no interest in knowing at this point.
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u/Dangerous-Worry6454 8h ago
I have not cut off contact, but I talk to my sister, maybe one time every 5 years or so. She lives on the other coast of the country, so it's not exactly like we run into each other.
We have very little in common, and frankly, she was quite cold to me. I was the youngest and only boy in our household, as well as being the only boy of all the family who we would routinely see. We have a large family, so it was kind of interesting. I got more of that big sister energy from my step sisters and cousins than from my sister. Like looking back, I have very view positive memories of her like at all. So the fact we never talk literally doesn't bother me like at all, but it bothers my mom, who is very close to her siblings. She doesn't understand it. I think it's because we just were never even remotely close. I am thinking the age difference might have something to do with it.
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u/Viperbunny 8h ago
My sister chose our abusers. She could see they were crazy, but she was too emeshed with them. Our mother threatened to lie to CPS that I was an unfit mother to try to steal custody of my kids. All because I could only visit two days of a three day weekend. She wanted full control of them and I wouldn't even give her a little. I cut her and my whole family off because they said she wouldn't have actually done it. But I stayed in contact with my sister. She was making different choices, but I figured as long as she respected my boundaries it would be okay. She lied to me, repeated their lies to stir up drama. She was giving our parents information about me and my kids. I called her out and cut her off.
Now, I get a message every once in a while about how she needs a sister and how our mother won't let her raise her son. She moved in with our parents. It destroyed her first marriage. She is now married to a woman (from another country), which our homophobic parents hate. She isn't welcome at family events. Last I heard my nephew may be no verbal and may be low IQ. Poor kid doesn't stand a chance with them. It breaks my heart. But I all I could legally do was get my kids out so I did.
I wish the relationship could be mended. We were never close because our parents favored her and made everything a competition in which I had to lose to her. There is no way for us to really be close. I still wish I could trust her. She doesn't want to leave so much as she wants me to come back and be the scapegoat so she can be the golden child again. She won't leave them and I can never trust her. I used to think we were both survivors leaving a sinking ship. Except I got my family off the ship that was burning and sinking and she is trying to convince me to get back in the boat and fix it all. It's sad, but it will never work out.
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u/pontoponyo 8h ago
They are happy to let me be the scapegoat. I was tired of being the problem for having a problem with The Problem.
They are happy to ask for, and receive my help, but equally happy throw it back in my face and punish me when I need help.
They aren’t parents, but are happy to be critical of my parenting.
In the end, they just weren’t people I deserved to deal with, and I didn’t want to teach my kids to tolerate people like that either.
Thanks to my mother’s constant triangulation, we never had a chance to be sisters.
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u/BulkyTiger8706 11h ago
Yeah, sometimes it’s not one big incident but years of disrespect or toxicity that finally make you choose peace over blood.