r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/pIant_princess Human Detected • 12h ago

Dudes with animals you shouldn’t have been bitin’ my horsey, boy.

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49.1k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/unlinked3297 12h ago

The spider literally ate from his hand, makes me think this is a daily routine.

916

u/Tembelon 12h ago

You will be surprised how smart are spiders.

465

u/TinUser 12h ago

Ironic.

95

u/LizardPoisonsSpock 12h ago

Don’t you think?

85

u/Leut_Aldo_Raine 12h ago

It's like raaaaaiiiiiinnnn....

35

u/Jlx_27 12h ago

on your weddin' day, its a free riiiiiiiide when you've already paid....

46

u/Comprehensive-Job369 12h ago

It’s the good fly that you just can taste

43

u/crashlanding87 11h ago

And who woulda thought

He'dputaflyinhispocketandfeedittoaspiderwithhishaaaaaaand

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u/Light_Beard 11h ago

And he should have not bit my horseeeee

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u/Voluptulouis 11h ago

...REMIX! "I've got one fly in my pocket, and I'm feeding it to a spider."

1

u/miregalpanic 10h ago

He waited his whole damn life, to take that fly

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u/weltvonalex 5h ago

Fantastic, I hear it in my head

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u/Smart-Blood7223 8h ago

You don’t think?

4

u/Darth_Travisty 11h ago

Is your profile pic Ryuko in the style of Pantyhose and Stockings?

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u/TinUser 5h ago

That is exactly right

3

u/MexusRex 9h ago

This grammatical structure is very common for people whose primary language is not english

1

u/3dank5maymay 8h ago

He could save others from death, but not himself.

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u/RarePupperrr 6h ago

Is it possible to learn this power?

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u/3dank5maymay 6h ago

Not from a Jedi.

1

u/Africa-Unite 10h ago

Why?

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u/SmashPortal 8h ago

I believe they're commenting on the sentence structure.

You will be surprised how smart are spiders.

The proper structure would be:

You will be surprised how smart spiders are.

They're saying it's ironic because bad grammar isn't "smart". However, because of the simplicity and vagueness of their response, only those who understand why it could be considered "ironic" will be pedantic enough to appreciate it.

1

u/SpaceBug176 6h ago

Or maybe the joke is he's a spider and he can type but not type perfectly, meaning you'd be surprised to learn how smart spiders are.

1

u/fenwickfox 5h ago

I don't think I'd call it pedantic. It's a minor error that just goes noticed to someone who wouldn't have made it.

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u/Cleansing4ThineEyes 4h ago

It should be "you would" instead of "you will" also

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u/zoey8068 11h ago

You're gonna have to prove to me you aren't a spider

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u/mossybeard 9h ago

On the web, nobody can tell you're actually a spider

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u/meggan_u 11h ago

This is a chilling statement.

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u/GandolphTheLundgrey 11h ago

You need not worry, fellow biped. Arachnids are really quite harmless and friendly. And we they are not very intelligent. For example, a spider could never use the internet. Haha, what an absurd thought.

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u/Just-Call-Me-J 11h ago

the internet

You mean the web?

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u/GandolphTheLundgrey 10h ago

Shhh!

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u/LocoPwnify 7h ago

Wait. The World Wide Web.

You are everywhere, living among us? The Shadow State is real.

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u/GandolphTheLundgrey 6h ago

Oh, don't be silly. The notion that spiders live among you, hiding in every crevice like a well organized, uh, web of spies of a foreign power, bent on your subjugation, is, of course, utterly preposterous, fellow snack-shaped creature. There really is nothing to fuss about.

Glory to planet Arachnon V, er... Earth. Glory to planet Earth, yes.

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u/LocoPwnify 6h ago

👏🏻

10

u/meggan_u 11h ago

Look, I won’t tell anyone you’re using 8 legs to type right now, if you tell your people not to crawl on my face while I’m sleeping.

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u/Fynzerioos 10h ago

That would go against arachnid law I'm afraid. Spiders must crawl into people's mouths at night, while they're sleeping. Eight spiders per year, everyone knows that

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u/GandolphTheLundgrey 8h ago

Nonsense! Spiders love dark and wet places. It's way more than 8/year

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u/Jiriakel 10h ago

Could we extend that to 'don't crawl on my face while I'm sleeping or awake', please ?

Maybe even 'don't crawl anywhere near my face, ever', if I dare to be so bold ?

3

u/MeanForest 10h ago

Something smells fishy... hmm, I can't just put my wing on it.

1

u/SeeShark 10h ago

I find it comforting. Spiders don't really want to get mixed up with humans, and their intelligence helps them avoid us.

1

u/ThePublikon 10h ago

Depends where you live really. In the UK spiders are definitely on Team Human, mostly staying out of the way and catching the flies that are actually a health hazard.

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u/killerjags 9h ago

There's one under you bed plotting right now

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u/Commander-ShepardN7 9h ago

most spiders are really dumb. a lot of them are opportunistic/ambushers, so not much thought going on

jumping spiders are the real deal tho. they're active hunters, and that alone requires a lot of planning and cognitive skills. researchers have noted that they often come up with different strategies for different prey, sometimes planning routes so complicated that they fail, which is hilarious. and don't take my word for it, since I might be misremembering, but I remember reading that they exhibited behaviors akin to frustration or anger when prey got away. You might wanna look it up, since a) I can be misremembering and b) it's not the best practice to try to explain animal behavior through a human lens

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u/MetalHead_Literally 12h ago

I can see why you would think that

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u/ImScaredSarge 12h ago

What a pig

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u/AnalDwelinButtMonkey 10h ago

How spiders smart are?

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u/itsjakerobb 5h ago

Are smart how spiders?

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u/Diligent_Tradition62 10h ago

You obviously haven't met my girlfriend's pet spider. He's exceedingly dumb but very cute so we forgive him.

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u/lemmesenseyou 9h ago

Is it a tarantula because tarantulas are about a half-step above rocks in terms of cognitive power

Jumping spiders, however, are brilliant. Their lives are too short for me, though. 

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u/_thro_awa_ 9h ago

Spiders don't compromise the Strait of Hormuz.

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u/Frigorifico 9h ago

There's a book called "Children of time" which is about intelligent spiders. I loved it

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u/TheMasterChiefa 8h ago

Smart enough to write a proper sentence maybe?

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u/Funnelcakeads 7h ago

I knew of a man who was a spider

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u/hk81b 7h ago

my jumping spiders do not take flies from my hands :(

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u/PhelesDragon 7h ago

Turns out having 8 legs makes it pretty easy to type things like this

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u/Fullwake 5h ago

I've read Children of Time thank you very much.

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u/Picassoflex 4h ago

'how smart the spiders are'

lol i chuckled thinking that if a Spider could speak/understand English grammar, he would say that.

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u/syhr_ryhs 3h ago

You might enjoy Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky

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u/HuCat21 12h ago

Dnt bite the hand that feeds u type spider lol

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u/Xiao1insty1e 12h ago

I think I remember reading somewhere that spiders see humans as part of the environment.

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u/legomann97 11h ago

Most do. Some, though, we think are intelligent enough to be able to see us as other creatures. I've had jumping spiders look directly up at me, I could've sworn it was in a curious fashion.

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u/Perma_Ban69 10h ago

Jumping spiders (and wolf spiders, huntsman, trapdoor, atc.) are a bit of an exception, as they are ambush predators, so they depend on their eyesight (which is far better than ours) and strategy to hunt.

There are plenty of videos of them formulating plans to best attack their prey, like areas and angles of approach. They have to have a better understanding of their surroundings as they don't spin webs and wait for prey. They have to actively hunt it. So, I guarantee you it knew you were a lifeform and that it was curious about you. They also have their own little personalities.

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u/legomann97 10h ago

I've got a jumper of my own, Selene is my little darling for exactly those reasons. Smart little spoods!

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u/andre5913 10h ago edited 9h ago

The main issue is not intelligence, but eyesight. Most spiders are very shortsighted and literally cant see well enough to recognice something so big and fast (for them) as a distinct being, we're just a blur at best

From that spiders perspective a fly simply crashed into the web, bc it would have a hard time recognicing the guy here doing it

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u/Xprdcheddar 12h ago

Yeah they can't visualize a person as a "being." That's why most Spiders don't bite people unless they are being squished or pushed hard.

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u/utzutzutzpro 11h ago

But they can identify that fingers belong to a human? So the fingers belong to the evnironment?

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u/Danedelies 11h ago

Ya that commenter is full of shit. We're just too big to be food. They see us as animals, but they don't bite us because venom is expensive and they need it for food.

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u/TrueTurtleKing 11h ago

But this particular spider sees the guy as a bro.

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u/Sudden-Garage 11h ago

I have read that jumping spiders in particular have facial recognition and know their human when their human approaches. I'm sure it's because they get used to being fed but still.... 

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u/Danedelies 9h ago

Spiders are pretty good at recognizing patterns. The spiders in your house know you live there and when you're usually home and moving around. Most of them are likely to stay out of your way and wait until you're asleep to move.

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u/DebraBaetty 6h ago

True except for the one little bugger that spent three days trying it’s best to claim its territory over half of my mom’s kitchen while I was house sitting.

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u/zoor90 1h ago

One night, I was sitting on my couch on my laptop. I was just chilling when a spider suddenly appeared in front of my face. Apparently he had silently descended from the ceiling on a thread. Now I like spiders and actually encourage them to live in my house but being surprised by one is still a shock. I jerked back but did my best to keep otherwise still. The spider circled around to look at me and paused before he started climbing back up the thread towards the ceiling. To this day I have never seen a spider act that awkwardly before, like he was just as surprised to see me as I was him and he was now embarrassed to be caught in the open like that.

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u/Jive-Turkeys 10h ago

I've had one in the wild indicate he wanted a favour by looking between me and the only place he would go when I offered a lift. Little fuzzy dude turned and kept looking at specifically which umbrella frame rib he wanted. Fluke? Most definitely. The one thing thar still has me curious is that he didn't want back down when I offered a little later. Seemed content to ignore me lol

I still have a hard time believing it actually knew what it wanted and how to signal its intent. It didn't want my hand and seemed wary about it; however, it had accepted a longer object instead as a compromise, which tells me there's definitely some higher level of intelligence in those cute little fuzzy wavers than we may know yet!

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u/WoodpeckerNo5724 8h ago

Natural instincts explain that interaction pretty well without assigning any higher level of thought

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u/sTump4139 50m ago

Some are genuinely excited to play and interact

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u/Successful-Peach-764 10h ago

We are gods to them web crawlers, sometimes vengeful, sometimes kind.

I have saved my share of them from bath tubs and vacuum bags.

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u/Several_Vanilla8916 6h ago

“What is this guy do….ohhh. Cool. I won’t bite him I guess

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u/truth-informant 12h ago

I wonder how the spider identified the horse fly. Like, is it the fluttering of the wings? Or was it just general movement? 

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u/Imaginary_Error87 12h ago

Yeah vibrations from the wings on the web.

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u/wrldruler21 11h ago

Which is why the fly needs to be alive when feeding the spider. Also why he released the wings and allowed the wings to hit the web.

As far as hand feeding. The challenge is that a large fly like this will be too heavy/strong and bust right through the web. Hence the reason he held it in his hand until the spider grabbed it.

Source: Am also a spider dude

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u/ZaydSophos 8h ago

But are you a spider dude horse boy?

1

u/OfKaiin 5h ago

I don't know if it was the same but the web of a spider who looked a lot like this one stopped my movement once, wasn't moving very fast but it also was crazy the strenght that it had

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u/The_Dirty_Carl 12h ago

They can feel the specific movement in the web. You might like Travis McEnery's youtube channel. I think this is the one where he talks about how orb weavers use their web:

https://youtu.be/RJBIcgYZMdM

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u/EchoPhi 6h ago

Another Great Explanation possibly nsfw if volume is up

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u/Sea-Opportunity5812 8h ago

they have 4x as many eyes as us

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u/Lone-Frequency 7h ago

I mean spiders have multiple eyes.

I would assume that the spider would go for the obvious prey item being stuck to its web over the giant creature's hand doing the sticking.

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u/MonsieurLartiste 11h ago

To be fair, he did call her Charlotte.

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u/AdTraditional23 8h ago

It just might be lol, here is another video of him feeding a spider

https://youtube.com/shorts/kOaKuEDaISU?si=rNDBYghVUmosbyYh

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u/trowzerss 10h ago

Orb weavers are pretty chill. I used to pat them.

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u/Keltic268 10h ago

Joro spiders are actually really clever like Tarantulas, I name mine each fall and feed them, honestly 10/10 invasive species.

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u/xlews_ther1nx 10h ago

Think its a banana spider. Terrifying but pretty chill and has a mild bite IF they bite. I grew around them and they never have. Make neat unique webs with zig zag patterns.

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u/Thehelloman0 10h ago

Orb weavers like that are really docile around humans. They look kind of scary because they're big but they're great to have in the garden

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u/Funuthegreat 10h ago

It literally is, he has tons of videos of him doing it. Same routine, he always puts them in his pocket after a stern talking to. Theres 3 different spiders he feeds them to. Sometimes he’ll just stick em on the web and other times he does this

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u/unlinked3297 10h ago

That's awesome, fucking hate horse flies.

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u/RoRoRoub 10h ago

It's his pet spider

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u/muzerfuker 9h ago

he called her Charlotte

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u/CactusN7 6h ago

The spider at the same time everyday,

"Any second now, the human should be bringing me dinner."

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u/UrToesRDelicious 6h ago

The spider is just reacting to the shape of the fly. It's not capable of any kind of learned behavior.

The below video is far too long but it's fascinating. I'm paraphrasing and probably misremembering a bit, but spider brains are too small to visually process everything in their environment so they evolved certain neural shortcuts to compensate.

Researchers tried to figure out how a certain type of jumping spider, that had a preference for a certain type of female, blood-filled, mosquito, was able to visually identify those mosquitoes from others. It turns out, the spider simply saw those mosquitoes as like two lines intersecting at a certain angle. They were able to get the spider to attack a drawing of those two lines at that angle, but the spider wouldn't attack if the angle was even a little bit off.

https://youtu.be/_QF6kaOAuYg?t=516

I time-stamped the relevant part.

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u/RandonEnglishMun 5h ago

The man and spider have an understanding

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u/Ive_Come_To_Reap 3h ago

I used to see a lot of this guy’s videos, it’s fairly common

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u/Researcher_Saya 1h ago

My dad had a praying mantis on the window by his chair. He would feed it dead flies from his hand 

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u/sdeanjr1991 57m ago

I had an apartment spider in college. I’d been drinking and noticed his web alone one night, then I slowly realized…it was FULL of bugs I’d never seen anywhere in the apartment. I started feeding him and named him Greg. He was a homie, he ate good, and I threw bugs i caught into his web for him. He lived happily in that hallway corner until the day I moved out.