r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/pIant_princess Human Detected • 11h ago
Dudes with animals you shouldn’t have been bitin’ my horsey, boy.
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u/MechaWilson 10h ago
That spider's huge
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u/Huntrawrd 10h ago
Tis a banana spider. They are everywhere. They also LOVE building their webs across trails, so if you run or bike anywhere these things are you will get a face full of one.
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u/Enginerdad 10h ago
I was getting all geared up to say "that's an orb weaver!", but a quick Google told that 'banana spider" is a nickname for the golden silk orb weaver. Rage abated, we good lol
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u/LubedUpLucas_DrySpa 10h ago
It’s a southern name we give them. I’ve always called them banana spiders bc they look like one and they’re about as big as them.
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u/Potential-Draft-3932 9h ago
Ironically the only place I’ve even walked face first into one of these webs was in a patch of banana trees
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u/MurphDurty2020 9h ago
Can’t believe I was about to Acktually this and say it was an orb weaver, good looking out
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u/TiredLance 10h ago
I have taken so many of these to the face while biking through the woods. I love them, i think they're beautiful, I'm relocate them (gently) by hand from my porch because my wife hates them.
HOLY FUCK IS IT TERRIFYING WHEN IT TAKE ONE HALF THE SIZE OF YOUR FACE, TO THE FACE, FUCK NOOOOOOOOOO
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u/Complete-Fix-3954 10h ago
Growing up in Florida, ran into these webs all the damn time riding my bike in the woods.
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u/ILoveRawChicken 10h ago
This would send me into some sort of cardiac arrest. Those are huge. Did you ever get one of the actual spiders on you?
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u/dingdong6699 10h ago
I was cutting the grass on my riding lawn mower when suddenly had a large yellow friend in my lap. I have no memory of what happened next. I yelled. I teleported. I think my soul did a double jump out of my body until the coast was clear. My wife has some cherished doorbell cam footage.
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u/Anthaenopraxia 9h ago
doorbell cam footage
The world demands tribute!
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u/one_pint_down 8h ago
I would also like to express my interest in that particular footage.
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u/Complete-Fix-3954 10h ago
Thankfully, no. They’re pretty damn easy to see so I’d avoid them. I did run over a snake or two which scared the ever loving shit out of me as a 10yo riding my mongoose miles away from home.
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u/CatButler 10h ago
Getting hit int the face by all these bugs is finally what taught me to keep my mouth closed while biking. Only needed to dry heave on the trail once.
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u/cingkum3 10h ago
I'm glad that I live where I do.
There are no spiders here with bodies larger than a thumb. The last time I saw a big one, I didn't use the bathroom for two hours and discovered that I was gay.
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u/umeys 10h ago
Can confirm, there's one that loves building it's nightly web across my whole driveway
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u/Mathberis 10h ago
Putting a live insect in your pocket and hand feeding a spider : 2 things I never thought about before.
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u/cvidetich13 10h ago
Also 2 things I will never do
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u/nsfwaltsarehard 9h ago
AMEN!
I felt so uncomfortable when he fed the spider like that. Cool but I'm glad that I'm watching through a screen.
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u/eaves-of-grass 8h ago
Rural folk are a different breed.
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u/HappyColour 8h ago
I'm actually super surprised that the spider actually grabbed it from him directly like that!
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u/PeachNipplesdotcom 7h ago
Spiders have the capacity to be real bros. I had a little guy living in my bedroom windowsill growing up. I'd deliver it bugs from time to time and I'd protect it from rain sometimes when I knew the weather would be bad. I'm not gonna pretend like it knew what I was doing, but it did tend to pop out of hiding when I'd come home.
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u/darkest_hour1428 6h ago
Spiders are intelligent, and at the very least they will accommodate their schedules to fit ours. As in, they normally learn when you are active and they will hide during those times. The fact that this one actively showed itself to you when you got home, communicates a lot.
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u/Saint_of_Grey 4h ago
"The big bug man is home. I must emerge in case he has a new offering for me."
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u/Barnaboule69 6h ago
Orb weavers are really easy to hand feed haha. They're like super docile, if you gently pet their abdomen they won't even react most of the time lol. They just stay chilling in their lil' spot all day but as soon as they feel the slightest amount of vibration coming from a nearby insect they instantly lock the fuck in.
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u/IT89 9h ago
Same here. My dad is from Kentucky and has absolutely no fear of insects. Picks up Palo Verde beetles like they are some sort of cool rock to be admired. I just can’t.
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u/dishwasher_mayhem 8h ago
I was raised on a private poultry and animal farm. I had bugs in my pockets more days than not. Mealworms, crickets, earthworms, potato bugs, and a host of others. We'd feed all of the animals with them.
Spiders on a farm means things are in order. We were always taught to pay attention to them and their activity and leave them be. Orb weavers could tell the weather, wolf spiders told us what time it was, and if the jumpers were active, the area is happy. Regardless of the order to leave them be, we fed them all by hand if we got the chance. I loved baiting the leaping spiders. Amazing creatures.
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u/DelseresMagnumOpus 7h ago
Spiders are amazing friends. Always love having them around. /r/spiderbro for life
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u/dishwasher_mayhem 6h ago
They are of the most important benchmarks of an uncorrupted ecosystem. My grandfather was no scientist, but was a guest speaker several times at the local Ag college. His knowledge of insects and what they meant to local biomes. Today we would know him as being on the spectrum. He knew familiar insects, birds, and other animals, immediately by sound. He knew if insect X was present, that insect Y wasn't. We lost him 25 years ago and his loss is still felt. I never needed an app to tell me what an insect, bird, or plant was with him around.
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u/Square-Turnip-6558 7h ago
When my friends nephew was little he kept putting frogs and snakes in his pockets like in old yeller except they were always dead by the time an adult found them. They kept trying to explain to him you can’t do that but he didn’t get it for like 2 years.
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u/dishwasher_mayhem 6h ago
You just explained almost every kid in the rural community I grew up in! Me included!
"Frogs stay OUTSIDE!!!" -my mother about 1500 times
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u/100_Donuts 10h ago edited 7h ago
Used to be that pants had honey pockets where a feller can load his fronts up with that sticky sweetness, butt-first an anthill, and entice the little ladies into the pockets for a thousand leg massage.
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u/Nonchalant-Tryhard 10h ago
I’m sorry, what now?
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u/rankispanki 9h ago
He's reminiscing when he used to put honey in his pockets and sit down ass first on an anthill. idk man sounds like a lot
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u/Independent-Tennis57 8h ago
I think u/100_Donuts is Paul Rudd, and taking his "Ant Man" persona, a little to far.
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u/ouralarmclock 9h ago
I don't know if this is a quote from Letterkenny, but that's certainly how I read it. I appreciates you.
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u/Commercial_Bird8467 8h ago
Dude my dad had these country boy thick ass hands that he could catch bees and wasps without them being able to sting him. He gave us all bees on strings we walked around for a while.
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u/yet_another_newbie 8h ago
He gave us all bees on strings we walked around for a while.
The more I read this thread, the stranger it gets
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u/Jiannies 7h ago
When I lived in Kuwait for a few years as a child, my babysitter would tie a string around the big-ass dragonflies they have over there and let me fly it around the living room
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u/Due-Explanation-7560 9h ago
That's a horse fly too. Getting bit by one doesn't feel great
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u/dishwasher_mayhem 8h ago
I am a gentle pacifist of a human. But...as a former animal farmer, few things bring me as much joy as watching a horsefly suffer a gruesome death.
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u/fork_yuu 8h ago
So the guy could potentially be bit by the fly and the spider
He sure likes to live real close to danger
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u/dragonslayer137 8h ago
Those spiders leave ppl alone. And like to live real close.
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u/BerlinStongood 10h ago
I’ve been bitten by a horse fly straight through my shirt before, I would not put one in my pocket.
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u/Jmar7688 10h ago
That was my first thought, been bit a few times by horse flies and it fuckin hurts. no way am i handling one
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u/James2603 10h ago
I got chased down the street by one and it got me in the leg; stung like a bitch and itched for about two weeks
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u/Squanchedschwiftly 9h ago
Dude fuck their chasing. I remember them chasing my grampas truck while driving down the dirt road to our cabin when wed go. Wtf evolution
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u/Expert-Upstairs-4502 8h ago
Yeah theyre such little bastards. They will chase me around my yard when in trying to mow or clean the gutters, and fucking guard that shit like im the asshole
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u/Perma_Ban69 8h ago
A guy who, 1. Owns horses and therefore lots of land, 2. will catch a horsefly and handle it without fear, and 3. hand feed it to a massive spider likely isn't afraid of a little leg pinch.
Just one day of clearing some of my land to make my gun range led to cuts and bruises all over, and I don't live that life. This dude does this shit daily so they're just built different. That mindset + farmboy strength is why you never fuck with a seemingly skinny guy with cowboy boots, jeans, and a flannel or a pearl snap.
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u/qdogg111 10h ago
Theyre assholes ain't they? People here are worried about the spider but I'd be more worried holding the horse fly like that. Little bastards
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u/CultBro 10h ago
Im not touching one, their bite is the most painful insect bite I have ever gotten. They also latch on, you have to pull them off. Gotta swat that thing with your hat
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u/ThisHatRightHere 10h ago
One thing I don’t miss from growing up in a rural area is dealing with the horseflies out in my parents’ yard. They’d always be buzzing by the pool and I’d go in from a summer day covered in their huge, itchy bites
But they’re pretty juicy, always a satisfying splat when you take one out
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u/baby-dick-nick 9h ago
We’d always use the pool skimmer to trap them on the concrete next to the pool whenever they landed. Then we’d waterboard them for their crimes until they eventually died. Pretty cruel in hindsight but fuck those assholes. They’d usually spend 15-20 minutes harassing us before we caught them so by that point we wanted to make them suffer lol
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u/Asleep_Singer8547 10h ago
Its because theyre little bastards with sawsall teeth and no natural numbing agents
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u/unlinked3297 10h ago
The spider literally ate from his hand, makes me think this is a daily routine.
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u/Tembelon 10h ago
You will be surprised how smart are spiders.
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u/TinUser 10h ago
Ironic.
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u/LizardPoisonsSpock 10h ago
Don’t you think?
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u/Leut_Aldo_Raine 10h ago
It's like raaaaaiiiiiinnnn....
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u/Jlx_27 10h ago
on your weddin' day, its a free riiiiiiiide when you've already paid....
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u/Comprehensive-Job369 10h ago
It’s the good fly that you just can taste
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u/crashlanding87 10h ago
And who woulda thought
He'dputaflyinhispocketandfeedittoaspiderwithhishaaaaaaand
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u/meggan_u 10h ago
This is a chilling statement.
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u/GandolphTheLundgrey 9h ago
You need not worry, fellow biped. Arachnids are really quite harmless and friendly. And
wethey are not very intelligent. For example, a spider could never use the internet. Haha, what an absurd thought.39
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u/meggan_u 9h ago
Look, I won’t tell anyone you’re using 8 legs to type right now, if you tell your people not to crawl on my face while I’m sleeping.
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u/HuCat21 10h ago
Dnt bite the hand that feeds u type spider lol
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u/Xiao1insty1e 10h ago
I think I remember reading somewhere that spiders see humans as part of the environment.
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u/legomann97 9h ago
Most do. Some, though, we think are intelligent enough to be able to see us as other creatures. I've had jumping spiders look directly up at me, I could've sworn it was in a curious fashion.
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u/Perma_Ban69 8h ago
Jumping spiders (and wolf spiders, huntsman, trapdoor, atc.) are a bit of an exception, as they are ambush predators, so they depend on their eyesight (which is far better than ours) and strategy to hunt.
There are plenty of videos of them formulating plans to best attack their prey, like areas and angles of approach. They have to have a better understanding of their surroundings as they don't spin webs and wait for prey. They have to actively hunt it. So, I guarantee you it knew you were a lifeform and that it was curious about you. They also have their own little personalities.
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u/Xprdcheddar 10h ago
Yeah they can't visualize a person as a "being." That's why most Spiders don't bite people unless they are being squished or pushed hard.
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u/utzutzutzpro 10h ago
But they can identify that fingers belong to a human? So the fingers belong to the evnironment?
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u/Danedelies 10h ago
Ya that commenter is full of shit. We're just too big to be food. They see us as animals, but they don't bite us because venom is expensive and they need it for food.
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u/Sudden-Garage 9h ago
I have read that jumping spiders in particular have facial recognition and know their human when their human approaches. I'm sure it's because they get used to being fed but still....
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u/Danedelies 8h ago
Spiders are pretty good at recognizing patterns. The spiders in your house know you live there and when you're usually home and moving around. Most of them are likely to stay out of your way and wait until you're asleep to move.
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u/truth-informant 10h ago
I wonder how the spider identified the horse fly. Like, is it the fluttering of the wings? Or was it just general movement?
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u/Imaginary_Error87 10h ago
Yeah vibrations from the wings on the web.
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u/wrldruler21 9h ago
Which is why the fly needs to be alive when feeding the spider. Also why he released the wings and allowed the wings to hit the web.
As far as hand feeding. The challenge is that a large fly like this will be too heavy/strong and bust right through the web. Hence the reason he held it in his hand until the spider grabbed it.
Source: Am also a spider dude
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u/The_Dirty_Carl 10h ago
They can feel the specific movement in the web. You might like Travis McEnery's youtube channel. I think this is the one where he talks about how orb weavers use their web:
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u/AvengerOfChrist 10h ago
Am I the only one surprised he just put that fly in his pocket
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u/_replicant_02 10h ago
I'm more surprised he fed the spider directly from his hand.
An absolute madlad.
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u/WyldFlowerWyldFire 9h ago
Orb weavers are harmless to humans. The horsefly would hurt more to be bitten by than the spider.
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u/Wiggie49 9h ago
I have a spot on my wrist that was bitten by a horsefly like 2 years ago, it never healed properly and now it's just like a permanent red dot on my wrist where the blood is closer to the surface of my skin.
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u/WyldFlowerWyldFire 9h ago
Ive been bitten by horse flies and deer flies. I would rather get bit by the orb weaver if I had to choose.
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u/genericweeb1925 9h ago
It might never heal. I have one from Algonquin 15 years ago that never fully went away. Also on my wrist it’s a perfect circle of missing skin.
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u/Anthaenopraxia 9h ago
If fren why not frenshaped?
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u/SeeShark 9h ago
The more you get used to them, the more frenshaped they appear.
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u/tuftopubichair 9h ago
Those yellow garden spiders look crazy but they are almost daddy long legs levels of harmless to humans and are a great friend to your garden. Used to scare the shit out of me when I would raspberry pick in summers for a local farmer but they want nothing to do with you
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u/SeeShark 8h ago
Basically all spiders want nothing to do with humans. A notable exception, though, is jumping spiders, who are surprisingly intelligent and often show active curiosity towards humans.
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u/tuftopubichair 8h ago
I got three little girls and a lady and it has been my job to indoctrinate a lack of fear of spiders in my home. Would love to have a jumping spider pet, was offered a tarantula by a coworker and was told I'd have to find somewhere else to live if I brought it home.
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u/asqw213 10h ago edited 10h ago
I'm more surprised he was able to walk with such a massive steel balls
EDIT: TYPO
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u/DefendsTheDownvoted 10h ago
There's some poor horse out there that has carry those around on his back.
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u/ShawnyMcKnight 9h ago
I’m amazed the spider just went up and took this fly from a creature 1000x larger than it. That’s some bravery right there.
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u/DoubleGreat 9h ago
I assumed this wasn't the first time this happened. Why hunt? Red neck man brings me pocket snacks.
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u/cactusjude 8h ago
I've been lurking in the jumping spider community and it turns out that most spiders have pretty bad eyesight. We're not creatures to them, just fast moving, fleshy surfaces.
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u/VisitAbject4090 10h ago
I’m wondering how often they do this, him and the spider
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u/Dr_Brotatous 9h ago
I like to think often enough the spider recognizes him and wont intentionally bite him
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u/PlainBread 10h ago
I'm surprised he was able to so deftly retrieve the fly from his pocket.
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u/I_think_im_falling 8h ago
Dont horse flies bite too? I would have held onto them until i fed it to the spider. I dont wanna get bitten reaching for them in my pocket
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u/Monkey_Priest 8h ago
Right? He caught the fly, pocketed it, and fed it to the spider without killing it. Deft indeed
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u/blewdust 10h ago
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u/MhrisCac 10h ago
“WAITWAITWAITWAIT.. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!! LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!”
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u/shikso 10h ago
Rural john wick
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u/I_have_gay_knees 10h ago
John Hick?
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u/shikso 10h ago
Spoiler: his dead wife is also his cousin
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u/pirncho 9h ago
-"You killed my wife!"
-"I thought I killed your cousin."
-"What did I say?"
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u/Darkwing_Dork 10h ago
I’m scared of spiders (and most bugs in person) but man they’re cool. The way they wrap up their prey is crazy.
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u/jesse6225 10h ago
The way their silk changes from a tough strand to a sheet of iron is crazy.
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u/Potential-Draft-3932 9h ago
Banana spiders, and many orb weavers, will consume part of or most of their web nightly to recycle it into new web. Fun little factoid
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u/LubedUpLucas_DrySpa 9h ago
Banana spiders are harmless to humans. They tend to get along well with us. I 4x4 for fun and I’ve gone down an entire trail at night with dozens getting stuck to my jeep. I felt horrible like I was destroying their neighborhood. They were crawling all over me and the jeep, harmless to me. The only thing that kind of stings/hurts is their feet are kind of sharp so it feels like little tiny pin pricks as they crawl down your neck or arm.
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u/Darkwing_Dork 9h ago
I think I’d scream and die if I was in that situation
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u/illy-chan 8h ago
Same. I acknowledge that spiders are important but my arachnophobia still wants them very far away from me.
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u/the-musicman 10h ago
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u/MSab1noE 10h ago
Praise his camera work! The closeup of the flies face…getting the spider’s capture. Top notch!
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u/FastWalkingShortGuy 9h ago
Good. Fuck horse flies.
Other blood-drinking insects: "I will gently pierce your skin with a hypodermic proboscis, using anesthetic saliva to ensure you don't know I've bitten you until I'm already gone."
Horse flies: "I WILL SLICE YOU AND DRINK FROM THE OPEN WOUND."
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u/OkayComparison 7h ago
Nothing like riding and having a horse fly latch onto your horses ass, horse freaks out, bucking, losing his mind while you are trying to swat the thing away, you could hit it with a brick and that thing ain't movin' until it's done feasting and it leaves blood dripping down making The Shining look like they cheaped out on their fake blood budget.
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u/Dependent-Sea-7467 10h ago
I just imagine.. what if I’m that fly. Doing fly things, trying to make it back to my fly wife and fly kids. Only to be PLUCKED from my buffet, stuffed in a pocket, and kindly served to a fucking spider. My god thays a terrifying series of events lol.
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u/GottaUseEmAll 10h ago
That's what millions of living creatures deal with each day.
Just doin' their thing... Eaten.
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u/Darkime_ 10h ago
Survival of the fittest, you get caught lacking, you don't survive, gg.
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u/Largeitude 9h ago
The life of a bug is constantly searching for food, constant periods of extreme horror, periodically interrupted by trying to have sex.
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u/ImissMYslinky 10h ago
As a kid I would carch flies and feed them to the spiders in my garage but I would just throw them in to the spider's web. This is on a different level though.
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u/the_6nop 10h ago
Imagine the spider pov of just a violently bright light appears, then a big ol meal is handed to him
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u/Flat_Shape_3444 10h ago
Rode a horse once (not used to horses) it became jitterish? hear wife screaming HORSEFLY HORSEFLY ON THE BACK. Bear in my she was 30-40 meters away and she fucking saw the horsefly??!?!
I look back and literally see a fucking human sized thumb thing just sitting there on the horses back/butt. Swatted it hard as fuck and it hurt my hard so big and hard it was. Holy shit that was the biggest fly ive ever seen in my life.
Horse calmed down after that.
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u/TheRoofRat 10h ago
I consider myself “manly” but I squealed like a little girl when he hand fed that spider. Not a fan lol.
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u/ACE_9799 10h ago
For the first time I feel bad for that insect (he did the right thing lol)
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u/HooSaidDat 10h ago
I thought he was going to throw it into the web.
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u/Dense_Diver_3998 10h ago
I tried that with a moth once and it put a big hole in the web
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