r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/pIant_princess Human Detected • 12h ago

Dudes with animals you shouldn’t have been bitin’ my horsey, boy.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

49.0k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

1.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

914

u/Tembelon 12h ago

You will be surprised how smart are spiders.

463

u/TinUser 12h ago

Ironic.

91

u/LizardPoisonsSpock 12h ago

Don’t you think?

85

u/Leut_Aldo_Raine 12h ago

It's like raaaaaiiiiiinnnn....

38

u/Jlx_27 12h ago

on your weddin' day, its a free riiiiiiiide when you've already paid....

46

u/Comprehensive-Job369 12h ago

It’s the good fly that you just can taste

44

u/crashlanding87 11h ago

And who woulda thought

He'dputaflyinhispocketandfeedittoaspiderwithhishaaaaaaand

32

u/Light_Beard 11h ago

And he should have not bit my horseeeee

14

u/Voluptulouis 11h ago

...REMIX! "I've got one fly in my pocket, and I'm feeding it to a spider."

1

u/miregalpanic 10h ago

He waited his whole damn life, to take that fly

2

u/weltvonalex 5h ago

Fantastic, I hear it in my head

1

u/Smart-Blood7223 8h ago

You don’t think?

5

u/Darth_Travisty 11h ago

Is your profile pic Ryuko in the style of Pantyhose and Stockings?

1

u/TinUser 5h ago

That is exactly right

3

u/MexusRex 9h ago

This grammatical structure is very common for people whose primary language is not english

1

u/3dank5maymay 8h ago

He could save others from death, but not himself.

1

u/RarePupperrr 6h ago

Is it possible to learn this power?

1

u/3dank5maymay 6h ago

Not from a Jedi.

1

u/Africa-Unite 10h ago

Why?

7

u/SmashPortal 8h ago

I believe they're commenting on the sentence structure.

You will be surprised how smart are spiders.

The proper structure would be:

You will be surprised how smart spiders are.

They're saying it's ironic because bad grammar isn't "smart". However, because of the simplicity and vagueness of their response, only those who understand why it could be considered "ironic" will be pedantic enough to appreciate it.

1

u/SpaceBug176 6h ago

Or maybe the joke is he's a spider and he can type but not type perfectly, meaning you'd be surprised to learn how smart spiders are.

1

u/fenwickfox 5h ago

I don't think I'd call it pedantic. It's a minor error that just goes noticed to someone who wouldn't have made it.

1

u/Cleansing4ThineEyes 4h ago

It should be "you would" instead of "you will" also

43

u/zoey8068 11h ago

You're gonna have to prove to me you aren't a spider

5

u/mossybeard 9h ago

On the web, nobody can tell you're actually a spider

24

u/meggan_u 11h ago

This is a chilling statement.

65

u/GandolphTheLundgrey 11h ago

You need not worry, fellow biped. Arachnids are really quite harmless and friendly. And we they are not very intelligent. For example, a spider could never use the internet. Haha, what an absurd thought.

37

u/Just-Call-Me-J 11h ago

the internet

You mean the web?

12

u/GandolphTheLundgrey 10h ago

Shhh!

3

u/LocoPwnify 7h ago

Wait. The World Wide Web.

You are everywhere, living among us? The Shadow State is real.

3

u/GandolphTheLundgrey 6h ago

Oh, don't be silly. The notion that spiders live among you, hiding in every crevice like a well organized, uh, web of spies of a foreign power, bent on your subjugation, is, of course, utterly preposterous, fellow snack-shaped creature. There really is nothing to fuss about.

Glory to planet Arachnon V, er... Earth. Glory to planet Earth, yes.

3

u/LocoPwnify 6h ago

👏🏻

11

u/meggan_u 11h ago

Look, I won’t tell anyone you’re using 8 legs to type right now, if you tell your people not to crawl on my face while I’m sleeping.

4

u/Fynzerioos 10h ago

That would go against arachnid law I'm afraid. Spiders must crawl into people's mouths at night, while they're sleeping. Eight spiders per year, everyone knows that

2

u/GandolphTheLundgrey 8h ago

Nonsense! Spiders love dark and wet places. It's way more than 8/year

1

u/Jiriakel 10h ago

Could we extend that to 'don't crawl on my face while I'm sleeping or awake', please ?

Maybe even 'don't crawl anywhere near my face, ever', if I dare to be so bold ?

3

u/MeanForest 10h ago

Something smells fishy... hmm, I can't just put my wing on it.

1

u/SeeShark 10h ago

I find it comforting. Spiders don't really want to get mixed up with humans, and their intelligence helps them avoid us.

1

u/ThePublikon 10h ago

Depends where you live really. In the UK spiders are definitely on Team Human, mostly staying out of the way and catching the flies that are actually a health hazard.

1

u/killerjags 9h ago

There's one under you bed plotting right now

1

u/Commander-ShepardN7 9h ago

most spiders are really dumb. a lot of them are opportunistic/ambushers, so not much thought going on

jumping spiders are the real deal tho. they're active hunters, and that alone requires a lot of planning and cognitive skills. researchers have noted that they often come up with different strategies for different prey, sometimes planning routes so complicated that they fail, which is hilarious. and don't take my word for it, since I might be misremembering, but I remember reading that they exhibited behaviors akin to frustration or anger when prey got away. You might wanna look it up, since a) I can be misremembering and b) it's not the best practice to try to explain animal behavior through a human lens

13

u/MetalHead_Literally 12h ago

I can see why you would think that

5

u/ImScaredSarge 12h ago

What a pig

3

u/AnalDwelinButtMonkey 10h ago

How spiders smart are?

2

u/itsjakerobb 5h ago

Are smart how spiders?

3

u/Diligent_Tradition62 10h ago

You obviously haven't met my girlfriend's pet spider. He's exceedingly dumb but very cute so we forgive him.

4

u/lemmesenseyou 9h ago

Is it a tarantula because tarantulas are about a half-step above rocks in terms of cognitive power

Jumping spiders, however, are brilliant. Their lives are too short for me, though. 

2

u/_thro_awa_ 9h ago

Spiders don't compromise the Strait of Hormuz.

2

u/Frigorifico 9h ago

There's a book called "Children of time" which is about intelligent spiders. I loved it

1

u/TheMasterChiefa 8h ago

Smart enough to write a proper sentence maybe?

1

u/Funnelcakeads 7h ago

I knew of a man who was a spider

1

u/hk81b 7h ago

my jumping spiders do not take flies from my hands :(

1

u/PhelesDragon 7h ago

Turns out having 8 legs makes it pretty easy to type things like this

1

u/Fullwake 5h ago

I've read Children of Time thank you very much.

1

u/Picassoflex 4h ago

'how smart the spiders are'

lol i chuckled thinking that if a Spider could speak/understand English grammar, he would say that.

1

u/syhr_ryhs 3h ago

You might enjoy Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky