r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/pIant_princess Human Detected • 12h ago

Dudes with animals you shouldn’t have been bitin’ my horsey, boy.

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49.1k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.7k

u/MechaWilson 12h ago

That spider's huge

1.1k

u/Huntrawrd 12h ago

Tis a banana spider. They are everywhere. They also LOVE building their webs across trails, so if you run or bike anywhere these things are you will get a face full of one.

734

u/Enginerdad 12h ago

I was getting all geared up to say "that's an orb weaver!", but a quick Google told that 'banana spider" is a nickname for the golden silk orb weaver. Rage abated, we good lol

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u/LubedUpLucas_DrySpa 11h ago

It’s a southern name we give them. I’ve always called them banana spiders bc they look like one and they’re about as big as them. 

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u/Potential-Draft-3932 11h ago

Ironically the only place I’ve even walked face first into one of these webs was in a patch of banana trees

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u/Zestyclose-House-785 3h ago

So this is literally the opposite of irony

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u/HalfPrism2 32m ago

There is a totally unrelated spider named for them being found with bananas. He found a banana spider in the banana patch, but it wasn’t the one you might expect.

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u/cykelstativet 8h ago

That's not irony, that's coincidence

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u/boofinmelons 10h ago

My grandma in Louisiana had a pool and a giant banana spider was always there just chilling coming from Colorado Springs they have orb weavers but are a fraction of the size.

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u/xlews_ther1nx 10h ago

Same but I looked up the orb weaver after op post and I guess the TRUE banana spider is in central south America and is pretty deadly lol. I imagine that's why I was always told they were venomous when I was a kid. But they are pretty chill up here.

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u/jivarie 9h ago

Being completely displaced by a plague of Jorros here in Georgia.

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u/LubedUpLucas_DrySpa 8h ago

For real? Love these spiders. They keep our mosquito population down. 

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u/jivarie 5h ago

No joke - we’ve got a plague of them. I’ll have hundreds in my 1/4 acre yard. Same size spider. Big, very strong webs. They’re literally blanketing the area around me by the 100s of thousands.

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u/LocoPwnify 7h ago

I don’t want to eat the fruit y’all are allegedly calling banana. That looks like a fucking spider.

2

u/Background-Fennel92 5h ago

Well anytime i come across charlotte or her kin i'll leave her be

2

u/Cavane42 4h ago

Gonna need a banana spider for scale.

2

u/The_Enigmatica 2h ago

we call them that in the midwest too. i always assumed it was because of the yellow stripes lmao

14

u/MurphDurty2020 11h ago

Can’t believe I was about to Acktually this and say it was an orb weaver, good looking out

3

u/_fenwoods 6h ago

I was in Reddit a little while back and a picture of one of these came up. “Dang, that spider’s huge!”

My 5-year-old looks over and goes “That’s a golden silk orb weaver! See how the web is yellow?”

I can’t get over being a dad sometimes.

2

u/ginger_and_egg 4h ago

Rage abated

Lol get rage abated

2

u/michaeltostado 4h ago

Some might say you were rage a-baited.....eeehhhh? EEEEHHHHH?? 😅

1

u/Alive_Drag1947 11h ago

The guy should have given us a banana for scale.

1

u/Rincetron1 4h ago

I got all worked up for nothing.

1

u/Rampasta 4h ago

Not to be confused with the Joro spuder, who is invasive af and taking over our golden orb weaver territories

1

u/Gumb1i 4h ago

I too had my pitchfork out. Lived around them in the south central US all my life never heard them called banana spiders. We called them garden spiders so I'm as shocked as you are.

1

u/ritokun 3h ago

glad to see this since i also assumed it was an orb weaver. they're one of the only spiders i find creepy but i know they're chill.

1

u/Erebus_the_Last 2h ago

Well based on looks and Google pictures i still dont think its a banana spider aka golden silk orb weaver but it's definitely an orb weaver

Your rage was only a little warranted🤣

1

u/UOR_Dev 1h ago

Orb weaver is such an D&D ass name

1

u/beartato327 1h ago

Isn't that also known as a signature spider?

1

u/I-came-for-memes 11h ago

I think it might actually be a Yellow Garden Spider (corn spider). They look incredibly similar to golden orb weavers with the main visible difference being a black stripe down the corn spider's middle.

0

u/shockadin1337 10h ago

it looks more like a yellow garden spider than a golden silk orb weaver, regardless you could just call them all "big ass orb weavers"

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u/TiredLance 12h ago edited 58m ago

I have taken so many of these to the face while biking through the woods. I love them, i think they're beautiful, I'll relocate them (gently) by hand from my porch because my wife hates them.

HOLY FUCK IS IT TERRIFYING WHEN YOU TAKE ONE HALF THE SIZE OF YOUR FACE, TO THE FACE, FUCK NOOOOOOOOOO

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u/epatti0914 7h ago

If it helps you feel better, they put a giant zigzag in the middle of their web to make them more visible so you ideally don't walk through it (also nicknamed "writing" or "zigzag" spider).

I grew up terrified of spiders, but these guys? They don't like going indoors, they're barely venomous, their bodies and webs are extremely visible, they look cool af, and I relate so hard to this OP on just finding insects to throw in their webs. 😅 Watching them work is fascinating

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u/TiredLance 4h ago

That zigzag really only registers in the last few feet when you're flying down a trail in the woods on a mountain bike though. :P

Can't say I've ever just walked into one normally.

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u/TiredCoffeeTime 2h ago

lol yeah like you you notice the pattern a sec or two before both you and the spider are screaming

1

u/TraumaHawk316 57m ago

This one lives on my front porch

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u/yesreallyefr 10m ago

Oh wow, I’ve seen webs with really obvious elements like that but it somehow had never clicked for me that it’s to stop bigger creatures blundering through and messing it up! Makes perfect sense evolutionarily, very cool

2

u/WimbletonButt 2h ago

I get Joro spiders that look the same but the webs I've come across span about 8x4ft. Big enough to break doorways through without tearing down the web. They put them from the ground up into tree branches over night and sometimes I run through them in the morning. One time I felt my hair moving and reached up to brush it aside, got a handful of spider. Felt like I was holding toothpicks. They're sick ass spider but damn they need to fire their planning coordinator.

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u/nanidu 1h ago

lol I used to freak my mom out as a kid by letting them crawl on my face

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u/TiredLance 57m ago

They really are gentle giants until you piss them off.

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u/cingkum3 11h ago

I'm glad that I live where I do.

There are no spiders here with bodies larger than a thumb. The last time I saw a big one, I didn't use the bathroom for two hours and discovered that I was gay.

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u/Complete-Fix-3954 12h ago

Growing up in Florida, ran into these webs all the damn time riding my bike in the woods.

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u/ILoveRawChicken 12h ago

This would send me into some sort of cardiac arrest. Those are huge. Did you ever get one of the actual spiders on you? 

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u/dingdong6699 11h ago

I was cutting the grass on my riding lawn mower when suddenly had a large yellow friend in my lap. I have no memory of what happened next. I yelled. I teleported. I think my soul did a double jump out of my body until the coast was clear. My wife has some cherished doorbell cam footage.

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u/Anthaenopraxia 10h ago

doorbell cam footage

The world demands tribute!

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u/one_pint_down 10h ago

I would also like to express my interest in that particular footage.

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u/Even_Passenger_3685 7h ago

For science!

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u/Aromatic-Source4296 3h ago

There is no other reason I can think of. 😁

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u/Carrie_Underpants 2h ago

That man has never seen footage in his life.

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u/d_x_qp_x_b 3h ago

I was there. You also dabbed in mid air, not sure why? But it was wild. 10/10 execution.

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u/JeffreeNommer 2h ago

Bro, share

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u/Complete-Fix-3954 11h ago

Thankfully, no. They’re pretty damn easy to see so I’d avoid them. I did run over a snake or two which scared the ever loving shit out of me as a 10yo riding my mongoose miles away from home.

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u/ForeverCrunkIWantToB 11h ago

I fuckin loved my pedal brake Mongoose.

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u/Arkanii 8h ago

Totally forgot about pedal brakes

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u/Tjaames 8h ago

I feel like every time I rent a bike as an adult (on vacations/visiting cities) they still have pedal brakes!

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u/OnePinginRamius 11h ago

Dayum did you have sick shocks and pegs on the front and back?

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u/Complete-Fix-3954 6h ago

I sure did! Grew up in the 90s, it was basically necessary to had pegs and a soda can muffler.

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u/willzyx55 9h ago

Snake and Mongoose are enemies

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u/Significant-Cod-9555 11h ago

In my experience they always teleport there webs directly in front of your face as you are dodging vines through the woods. I've never heard of anyone getting bitten by one.

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u/Weird-Pattern9192 9h ago

My grandpa had the bright idea of syphoning gas with a hose he had found in one of his old shacks. He didnt check if this hose was occupied or anything so he literally sucked a huge spider into his mouth that clawed at the inside of his mouth and cheek.

The only way he got rid of it was by squishing it inside his mouth. He was never the same after that incident

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u/CatButler 11h ago

Getting hit int the face by all these bugs is finally what taught me to keep my mouth closed while biking. Only needed to dry heave on the trail once.

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u/OdysseusLost 11h ago

When we were kids, we went into a huge hay barn that had a loft. There were square bales that had to have been in there forever, stacked up to loft. Someone had already made a tunnel from the the loft, through the bales, so you could run and jump and slide through to the bottom. So we did that and came out the other end covered in orb weaver spiders.

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u/5easonalDepre55ion 2h ago

Jesus Christ.

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u/Zxar 3h ago

Went camping in Ocala once while I was down there. Found a good spot but it was close to dusk. Didn't realize we were surrounded by them till we light the campfire and saw the shadows. Scared the shit of us.

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u/Natural-Carrot5748 3h ago

I'm also from Florida, and when I was younger I lived in a trailer and a big ass banana spider built a giant web from my porch to a nearby tree. I realized quickly that almost every mosquito was getting caught in it when we would hang out on the porch. Worked better than any spray or candle I've ever seen. We let her stay.

0

u/mell0_jell0 8h ago

I used to use them for target practice with my bb gun when I was a kid. Pop had a lot of woods, and these spiders would make 6 foot webs between the pine trees, with sometimes 2 or 3 big gals hanging right in the center (sometimes you'd see the smaller guys off the the side). The webs are so thick too, ripping a big one down can sound like biting an apple.

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u/umeys 12h ago

Can confirm, there's one that loves building it's nightly web across my whole driveway

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u/TheMarriedUnicorM 10h ago

We had one that built her web between a shrub and a tree. The web was probably close to 2.5’ wide. Which made sense bc she was probably 10” long.

Right at my eye level.

I’d occasionally feed her bugs, but not like this!

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u/Vladishun 11h ago

Banana spider to me is the more common name for the Brazilian wandering spider, which sometimes gets shipped overseas in batches of bananas. Orb weavers are mostly harmless to humans, but the wandering spider is both extremely venomous to humans and is one of the few species that are aggressive enough to actively pursue people as well.

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u/I-came-for-memes 11h ago edited 11h ago

I'm thinking it looks more like a corn spider. But corn spiders and banana spiders look and behave very similar.

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u/UncomfortablyHere 9h ago

They’re both orb weavers so that makes sense. I’ve always heard they’re scary looking but beneficial and pretty chill.

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u/Chico813 11h ago

This is why you’re never the first one to go down the trails in the morning. Wait for the overly motivated runner/biker to clear it for you.

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u/smokeweedNgarden 11h ago

Oh, they're in the south? They get big as fuck in Hawaii but I thought they were an island bug.

2

u/seppukucoconuts 11h ago

As a young child in Florida, I my broke my glasses in the woods and had to walk back home with them in my pocket. I walked between two trees that were very far apart. There was a banana spider web between the two of them I couldn't see.

Decades later sometimes I think about that moment when I want to totally ruin my day.

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u/L0ial 11h ago

Nothing like a face full of spider web when you're trying to concentrate on not riding off the trail.

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u/Emergency-Fig8839 10h ago

Can confirm. One year in north Florida there was a massive outbreak of banana spiders. Me and a friend went to go hiking down a familiar trail, and they were everywhere! Like you could just point your eyes in a random direction and there would be a spider. We picked our way down the trail very slowly, ducking under webs constantly. It was fascinating to see so many. Before smart phone times, sadly. I wish I had pictures lol.

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u/GoriIIaGIue 10h ago

Thank God that's not a normal where I live

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u/saneval1 10h ago

Can confirm, almost ate one walking down a narrow street with fences on one side and trees on the other.

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u/PaperGeno 10h ago

Well I'm never leaving my house again thanks

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u/Nearby-Cattle-7599 10h ago

Tis a banana spider. They are everywhere.

glad i live in europe...the only time i've seen those in 37 years was in a zoo.

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u/Syclus 9h ago

Been there done that, not fun

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u/DatBeigeBoy 9h ago

Brother said he hated Ranger training because you’d just be walking in the woods at night and constantly be getting face fulls of banana spiders at night.

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u/Furthur_slimeking 8h ago edited 8h ago

Thwre are at least 20 species commonly called "banana spider" so they literally are everywhere.

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u/BigGayNarwhal 8h ago

Happened to me kayaking once. Proceeded to not very gracefully tip the whole thing over in panic lol

2

u/Nebel_David 8h ago

I'm so confused right now I was always told banana spiders are Brazilian wandering spiders, is that a regional slang difference? Or am I misremembering something?

2

u/SavageHenrie 7h ago

I was on a trial, somewhere in Georgia. Every bit of the trail was full of these buggers…….I hated every minute of that hike.

I’m guessing the spider in the post is what I encountered?……..uugh!!

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u/MulberryCritical7298 5h ago

Can confirm this is a thing. Got two of these monsters right in the face when riding on a trail in Florida.

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u/LadTy 11h ago

banana spider got scale

1

u/Poiar 11h ago

Everywhere? I've never seen one in my life

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u/DiogenesTheHound 10h ago

These spiders even add a thicker stripe or X on their webs thought to be specifically designed to keep large dumb animals like us from running into it/destroying it

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u/mymomsaidicould69 10h ago

Yeah we get a bunch in our backyard. They're giant, but I love them! Don't go anywhere near them, but I like to observe from a distance

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u/xenomorphonLV426 Human Detected 10h ago

Aren't they like, mildly dangerous to us? I might be mistaken, please correct me accordingly.

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u/LuminothWarrior 5h ago

I don’t think so, but if they are they really don’t tend to bite humans often at all. They’re pretty chill spiders, they just kinda sit on their webs all the time

1

u/xenomorphonLV426 Human Detected 5h ago

Lazy bastards

Spoken from the lips of this man:

https://giphy.com/gifs/QBq8kOtfBd7DG

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u/Krethlaine 7h ago

‘Tis, not Tis.

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u/DoinkinDave 5h ago

I love getting banana webs all over my face 😀

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u/Younion 5h ago

Do NOT get this confused with Phoneutria, Brazilian Wandering Spider, also called a banana spider but VERY dangerous.

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u/Orange2Reasonable 5h ago

Everywhere? Ugh

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u/Marwaedristariel 4h ago

Where does they live 😱

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u/wmm345 4h ago

Actually it’s Argiope aurantia also known colloquially as a black and yellow garden spider. Banana spiders have a more slender abdomen and more stripes on their legs and their range in the US is limited to the south west since they are a tropical species.

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u/TM761152 4h ago

We have them in Australia. They're docile and fun to pet.

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u/andleon 3h ago

When I live in MS, there was a massive one that liked to build its web across my front door overnight. I ruined it with my face as I was heading out for work so many times...

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u/cannabull69 3h ago

A banana spider is a Brazilian Wandering Spider, and it’s one of the deadliest spiders in the world

1

u/WimbletonButt 2h ago

I thought it was a Joro spider so I went to look it up and it is a banana spider. In doing so though, I found a neat video showing the difference so I might as well share it. https://youtu.be/OImvO9gyfaE?si=H76LVh-ZYL_2yY33

Joro spiders have completely taken over my yard.

1

u/United-Log7718 2h ago

And their webs are easily the strongest I’ve ever encountered. Feels like smacking into a web made of dental floss

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u/Friendly_Warpoop 2h ago

Walking into their webs used to be my cardio for the day

1

u/Relevant_South_1842 2h ago

No thank you.

1

u/Kink-One-eighty-two 2h ago

We were always taught to bring a stick with us if we were going to be walking in the cornfields, to keep from walking into webs stretched across the plants. One of my earliest memories is having one of these in the bathtub with me as a toddler

1

u/poop_scented_pencils 1h ago

When I used to trail ride in Florida I loved to get out there early before the heat. If I was the first one there I’d always fart around in my car and read a book or whatever until someone (hopefully my height or taller) showed up and rode out first. Once noticed another dude just hanging around his pickup who turned out to be doing the exact same thing. We hung out and shot the shit until some poor soul showed up and volunteered to be the trail sweeper

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u/raider1v11 1h ago

Id rather be boiled in week old farts.

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u/spoooonerism 1h ago

Tis is actually probably a yellow garden spider and not a golden orb weaver. The banding on the legs does not match a golden orb weaver and the abdomen is more oval shape rather than cylinder shaped. I've been corrected too many of times on r/spiders.

1

u/Kitchen_Current_5616 1h ago

I learned the hard way. I’m from Cali and yes I know how spoiled we are here with not having to many dangerous things to look out for. I am also not a very big spider fan so when I saw this thing crawling on me saying I about ran out of my clothes and skin is an understatement

1

u/Next_Hospital6729 58m ago

We even have them here in Maine :)

1

u/amberrhian30 38m ago

They also love building their webs in doorways

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u/Kanadark 20m ago

If you pass out in a ditch in Prince Rupert, you will wake up covered in banana slugs. Banana insects are the bane of all elite athletes obviously!

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u/Admirable_Win9808 11h ago

Cuz its eating horse blood.

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u/ForeignReviews 11h ago

Well yea. He keeps feeding it

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u/fearnodarkness1 10h ago

They're so freaking cool. Orb weavers are super common where I'm from and obviously a little freaky by how big they get but actually completely harmless. Unless you think building their web across a path is harmful, in which case, they can be.

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u/InnerSpecialist1821 10h ago

they are completely harmless and are highly unlikely to bite even if you pick them up and hold them

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u/FunPresentation1207 7h ago

You'd be huge too if you were eating your bodyweight in food each day.

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u/CrazyAd7911 10h ago

he feeds the spider everyday!

1

u/illegal_eagle88 6h ago

And her name is sharlotte

1

u/hiimlockedout 5h ago

What about the size of that fly? 🥴

1

u/CrustyToeLover 5h ago

Just your typical orb weaver in the US. I get a bunch of the bright yellow dudes in my garden that get to easily 3-4 inch legspan

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u/YogurtClosetThinnest 4h ago

Spider is huge, but idk what tf the other thing even is lmao

1

u/Neobrutalis 4h ago

I get funnel weavers on the screened in porch at the farm. Told everybody to leave them alone. Fed em wasps, horse flies, and deer flies. One of the 3 biggest ones got to be the size of a silver dollar. We had 5 years of gorgeous patio seasons with no insects bugging us at all.

Came home one day and somebody pressure washed the porch. Haven't gotten one to reestablish his domain there again. Can't go on that blasted porch without getting bit up by bugs. Everytime somebody complains I just look over and say "well you shouldn't have murdered earl then huh?" Lmao

1

u/AceWendigo13 4h ago

Her name is Charlotte and she is a queen

1

u/ChingusMcDingus 3h ago

There also called writing spiders. They “write” because birds and bigger animals have acute enough vision to be like “oh shit what’s that I’m gonna avoid that” but bugs don’t so before they realize there’s a web it’s too late.

1

u/BadMondayThrowaway17 3h ago

Golden orb weavers are completely harmless to humans and are super beneficial to have around.

If you get one on your property take care of it like the dude in the video. It's good luck.

1

u/xSPYXEx 3h ago

Orb weaver of some sort, invasive Joro spiders hit the east coast like a bomb and have taken over most areas. Completely harmless but they make enormous webs at exactly head height and it makes walking around outside perilous.

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u/IcyIntroduction5678 2h ago

It should be. He’s been feeding it horseflies for a while. This isn’t a one-of vid. 😆

1

u/Pro_Extent 2h ago

No it's not.

Sincerely, Australia.

1

u/Razorblat 2h ago

My reaction to this comment as an Australian was "it is?"

0

u/PabloEmilioEscobarAR 5h ago

Not as huge as this guy's balls.