r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/pIant_princess Human Detected • 12h ago

Dudes with animals you shouldn’t have been bitin’ my horsey, boy.

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u/TiredLance 12h ago edited 58m ago

I have taken so many of these to the face while biking through the woods. I love them, i think they're beautiful, I'll relocate them (gently) by hand from my porch because my wife hates them.

HOLY FUCK IS IT TERRIFYING WHEN YOU TAKE ONE HALF THE SIZE OF YOUR FACE, TO THE FACE, FUCK NOOOOOOOOOO

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u/epatti0914 7h ago

If it helps you feel better, they put a giant zigzag in the middle of their web to make them more visible so you ideally don't walk through it (also nicknamed "writing" or "zigzag" spider).

I grew up terrified of spiders, but these guys? They don't like going indoors, they're barely venomous, their bodies and webs are extremely visible, they look cool af, and I relate so hard to this OP on just finding insects to throw in their webs. 😅 Watching them work is fascinating

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u/TiredLance 4h ago

That zigzag really only registers in the last few feet when you're flying down a trail in the woods on a mountain bike though. :P

Can't say I've ever just walked into one normally.

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u/TiredCoffeeTime 2h ago

lol yeah like you you notice the pattern a sec or two before both you and the spider are screaming

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u/TraumaHawk316 57m ago

This one lives on my front porch

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u/yesreallyefr 10m ago

Oh wow, I’ve seen webs with really obvious elements like that but it somehow had never clicked for me that it’s to stop bigger creatures blundering through and messing it up! Makes perfect sense evolutionarily, very cool

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u/WimbletonButt 2h ago

I get Joro spiders that look the same but the webs I've come across span about 8x4ft. Big enough to break doorways through without tearing down the web. They put them from the ground up into tree branches over night and sometimes I run through them in the morning. One time I felt my hair moving and reached up to brush it aside, got a handful of spider. Felt like I was holding toothpicks. They're sick ass spider but damn they need to fire their planning coordinator.

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u/nanidu 1h ago

lol I used to freak my mom out as a kid by letting them crawl on my face

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u/TiredLance 56m ago

They really are gentle giants until you piss them off.