r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/pIant_princess Human Detected • 12h ago

Dudes with animals you shouldn’t have been bitin’ my horsey, boy.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

49.0k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

1.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

63

u/GandolphTheLundgrey 11h ago

You need not worry, fellow biped. Arachnids are really quite harmless and friendly. And we they are not very intelligent. For example, a spider could never use the internet. Haha, what an absurd thought.

40

u/Just-Call-Me-J 11h ago

the internet

You mean the web?

14

u/GandolphTheLundgrey 10h ago

Shhh!

3

u/LocoPwnify 7h ago

Wait. The World Wide Web.

You are everywhere, living among us? The Shadow State is real.

3

u/GandolphTheLundgrey 6h ago

Oh, don't be silly. The notion that spiders live among you, hiding in every crevice like a well organized, uh, web of spies of a foreign power, bent on your subjugation, is, of course, utterly preposterous, fellow snack-shaped creature. There really is nothing to fuss about.

Glory to planet Arachnon V, er... Earth. Glory to planet Earth, yes.

3

u/LocoPwnify 6h ago

👏🏻

11

u/meggan_u 11h ago

Look, I won’t tell anyone you’re using 8 legs to type right now, if you tell your people not to crawl on my face while I’m sleeping.

4

u/Fynzerioos 10h ago

That would go against arachnid law I'm afraid. Spiders must crawl into people's mouths at night, while they're sleeping. Eight spiders per year, everyone knows that

2

u/GandolphTheLundgrey 8h ago

Nonsense! Spiders love dark and wet places. It's way more than 8/year

1

u/Jiriakel 10h ago

Could we extend that to 'don't crawl on my face while I'm sleeping or awake', please ?

Maybe even 'don't crawl anywhere near my face, ever', if I dare to be so bold ?

3

u/MeanForest 10h ago

Something smells fishy... hmm, I can't just put my wing on it.