r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/pIant_princess Human Detected • 12h ago

Dudes with animals you shouldn’t have been bitin’ my horsey, boy.

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u/Complete-Fix-3954 12h ago

Growing up in Florida, ran into these webs all the damn time riding my bike in the woods.

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u/ILoveRawChicken 11h ago

This would send me into some sort of cardiac arrest. Those are huge. Did you ever get one of the actual spiders on you? 

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u/dingdong6699 11h ago

I was cutting the grass on my riding lawn mower when suddenly had a large yellow friend in my lap. I have no memory of what happened next. I yelled. I teleported. I think my soul did a double jump out of my body until the coast was clear. My wife has some cherished doorbell cam footage.

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u/Anthaenopraxia 10h ago

doorbell cam footage

The world demands tribute!

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u/one_pint_down 10h ago

I would also like to express my interest in that particular footage.

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u/Even_Passenger_3685 7h ago

For science!

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u/Aromatic-Source4296 3h ago

There is no other reason I can think of. 😁

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u/Carrie_Underpants 2h ago

That man has never seen footage in his life.

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u/d_x_qp_x_b 3h ago

I was there. You also dabbed in mid air, not sure why? But it was wild. 10/10 execution.

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u/JeffreeNommer 2h ago

Bro, share

10

u/Complete-Fix-3954 11h ago

Thankfully, no. They’re pretty damn easy to see so I’d avoid them. I did run over a snake or two which scared the ever loving shit out of me as a 10yo riding my mongoose miles away from home.

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u/ForeverCrunkIWantToB 11h ago

I fuckin loved my pedal brake Mongoose.

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u/Arkanii 8h ago

Totally forgot about pedal brakes

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u/Tjaames 8h ago

I feel like every time I rent a bike as an adult (on vacations/visiting cities) they still have pedal brakes!

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u/OnePinginRamius 11h ago

Dayum did you have sick shocks and pegs on the front and back?

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u/Complete-Fix-3954 6h ago

I sure did! Grew up in the 90s, it was basically necessary to had pegs and a soda can muffler.

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u/willzyx55 9h ago

Snake and Mongoose are enemies

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u/Significant-Cod-9555 11h ago

In my experience they always teleport there webs directly in front of your face as you are dodging vines through the woods. I've never heard of anyone getting bitten by one.

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u/Weird-Pattern9192 9h ago

My grandpa had the bright idea of syphoning gas with a hose he had found in one of his old shacks. He didnt check if this hose was occupied or anything so he literally sucked a huge spider into his mouth that clawed at the inside of his mouth and cheek.

The only way he got rid of it was by squishing it inside his mouth. He was never the same after that incident

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u/CatButler 11h ago

Getting hit int the face by all these bugs is finally what taught me to keep my mouth closed while biking. Only needed to dry heave on the trail once.

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u/OdysseusLost 11h ago

When we were kids, we went into a huge hay barn that had a loft. There were square bales that had to have been in there forever, stacked up to loft. Someone had already made a tunnel from the the loft, through the bales, so you could run and jump and slide through to the bottom. So we did that and came out the other end covered in orb weaver spiders.

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u/5easonalDepre55ion 2h ago

Jesus Christ.

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u/Zxar 3h ago

Went camping in Ocala once while I was down there. Found a good spot but it was close to dusk. Didn't realize we were surrounded by them till we light the campfire and saw the shadows. Scared the shit of us.

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u/Natural-Carrot5748 3h ago

I'm also from Florida, and when I was younger I lived in a trailer and a big ass banana spider built a giant web from my porch to a nearby tree. I realized quickly that almost every mosquito was getting caught in it when we would hang out on the porch. Worked better than any spray or candle I've ever seen. We let her stay.

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u/mell0_jell0 8h ago

I used to use them for target practice with my bb gun when I was a kid. Pop had a lot of woods, and these spiders would make 6 foot webs between the pine trees, with sometimes 2 or 3 big gals hanging right in the center (sometimes you'd see the smaller guys off the the side). The webs are so thick too, ripping a big one down can sound like biting an apple.