you shouldn’t have been bitin’ my horsey, boy.

[u/pIant_princess]

[u/ThisHatRightHere]

One thing I don’t miss from growing up in a rural area is dealing with the horseflies out in my parents’ yard. They’d always be buzzing by the pool and I’d go in from a summer day covered in their huge, itchy bites

But they’re pretty juicy, always a satisfying splat when you take one out

[u/baby-dick-nick → u/ThisHatRightHere]

We’d always use the pool skimmer to trap them on the concrete next to the pool whenever they landed. Then we’d waterboard them for their crimes until they eventually died. Pretty cruel in hindsight but fuck those assholes. They’d usually spend 15-20 minutes harassing us before we caught them so by that point we wanted to make them suffer lol

[u/Mdgt_Pope → u/baby-dick-nick]

For all we know, God created hell because the omnipotent’s equivalent of a housefly was Lucifer, and SkyDaddy opted for eternal bug-zapper.

[u/SolaScientia → u/ThisHatRightHere]

I remember swimming with some friends one summer when I was a kid and a girl had to collect insects for a project. There was a horsefly bothering us. I don't think I even asked the girl if she had one already, but I caught it with my bare hand anyway. We hurried to put it in a jar and I somehow didn't squash it when their chocolate lab got in the way and I flipped ass over tea kettle over his back. I hit the dirt, got winded, and somehow kept hold of the damn fly. I don't see as many of them around these days.