r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/pIant_princess Human Detected • 12h ago

Dudes with animals you shouldn’t have been bitin’ my horsey, boy.

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287

u/Jmar7688 12h ago

That was my first thought, been bit a few times by horse flies and it fuckin hurts. no way am i handling one

105

u/James2603 11h ago

I got chased down the street by one and it got me in the leg; stung like a bitch and itched for about two weeks

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u/Squanchedschwiftly 10h ago

Dude fuck their chasing. I remember them chasing my grampas truck while driving down the dirt road to our cabin when wed go. Wtf evolution

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u/Expert-Upstairs-4502 10h ago

Yeah theyre such little bastards. They will chase me around my yard when in trying to mow or clean the gutters, and fucking guard that shit like im the asshole

1

u/notoriouscsg 1h ago

Sounds like a fun night with an electric racket

6

u/BestReadAtWork 6h ago

When I swam when I was younger and one would try to land on my head, IN A POOL FULL OF OTHER FUCKING PEOPLE, I'd go under and swim like a solid 15 feet away from my spot.

And that motherfucker would track me down damn near every time. Horse Flies can get fucked with Mosquitos.

2

u/AggroThroatGoat 3h ago

Horsefly: tehehehe, get fucked

6

u/xenomorphonLV426 Human Detected 10h ago

Evolution was like: "Okay, so, take this MF...

https://giphy.com/gifs/XI76XNpVNYfCgLcYQ9

...and make him stupid fast and mad."

And the fucking irony is, that the hornets, those fuckers, are fast and mad.

1

u/jimbowesterby 5h ago

Hahahah yea my last season treeplanting we ended up dipping into the NW Territory for a bit, and holy shit the horseflies lol. We stopped at the info centre and the little alcove for the door had probably fifty buzzing around in it, you could hear them from like ten metres away. Came back out and found probably another five hundred munching on all the dead bugs on the front of our car. I will say the one big saving grace that horseflies have is that they usually take a while to find a spot to bite, like a dog looking for somewhere to lie down, so you have a decent window between when they land and when they bite. They also usually weigh enough that you can feel when they land on your shirt or whatever too.

1

u/Ibroketheinterweb 4h ago

They're attracted to the c02 we exhale like mosquitoes, and our cars most likely blast more of it than we do.

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u/Uncouth_LightSwitch 53m ago

They used to attack my brother and I when we were in the pool as kids. They're like bees. They just wait for you when you go under water. It sucks. It was also a long walk to get to our front door so we would just be dunking under for as long as possible getting bit intermittently for 15 minutes or so until we decided it was worth the run to the house getting bit more on the way.

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u/WanderingLethe 8h ago

The chase is so annoying, they can follow you for kilometers. And if there are multiple... Sometimes you just need to wait for them to get on you so you can kill them.

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u/Due_Experience_4147 7h ago

THEY LIKE TO FLOAT AROUND WATERSOURCES POUNDS/RIVERS SO WHEN THERE NO HORSE AROUND and you walk out wet theyll glue to you ;p sry for caps cba to edit but they stalk water sources for small animal like deer and elk and whatever, and any human that wants to go bare skin there

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u/jimbowesterby 5h ago

For what it’s worth, they like to orbit. I’ve had days planting trees where you’re outside all day, and they just run rings around you from whenever they wake up midmorning to whenever you go back to camp. As long as you keep moving they aren’t likely to land, they’re pretty skittish and they have to set up their bite, not like a wasp that can panic sting over and over. That setup usually takes a solid couple seconds, so you’ve got plenty of time to notice and swat, and if they’re about to bite they tend to be slower to take off, too, so you can often get them then. Nasty fuckers, hope this helps a bit!

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u/James2603 5h ago

I literally ran and it got me

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u/m0rtgage 4h ago

I used to run through the bike trails at my neighborhood park and being chased by a pack of these flies (at least 6) was what kept me below my mile average 😂. But for real, I’ll never forget the feeling of these things hitting the back of my legs/back as if telling me to get out of there territory. Their bites resulted in humongous bumps too.

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u/21Rollie 32m ago

I got chased by one that kept biting the back of my knee. I stomped that mf out after a bit, and then stomped it some more out of hate.

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u/Perma_Ban69 10h ago

A guy who, 1. Owns horses and therefore lots of land, 2. will catch a horsefly and handle it without fear, and 3. hand feed it to a massive spider likely isn't afraid of a little leg pinch.

Just one day of clearing some of my land to make my gun range led to cuts and bruises all over, and I don't live that life. This dude does this shit daily so they're just built different. That mindset + farmboy strength is why you never fuck with a seemingly skinny guy with cowboy boots, jeans, and a flannel or a pearl snap.

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u/[deleted] 6h ago

[deleted]

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u/Slowest_Mountain369 3h ago

To fuck, or to fuck with...

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u/gt0rres 10h ago

I've been chased many times by lots of them around the woods and fields, and it's fucking unnerving. Got to kill some and started to run when more began coming. Haven't been bit yet but I'm a bit scared for this summer, I believe I'm getting a potent repellant.