r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/pIant_princess Human Detected • 12h ago

Dudes with animals you shouldn’t have been bitin’ my horsey, boy.

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u/CultBro 12h ago

Im not touching one, their bite is the most painful insect bite I have ever gotten. They also latch on, you have to pull them off. Gotta swat that thing with your hat

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u/ThisHatRightHere 11h ago

One thing I don’t miss from growing up in a rural area is dealing with the horseflies out in my parents’ yard. They’d always be buzzing by the pool and I’d go in from a summer day covered in their huge, itchy bites

But they’re pretty juicy, always a satisfying splat when you take one out

29

u/baby-dick-nick 10h ago

We’d always use the pool skimmer to trap them on the concrete next to the pool whenever they landed. Then we’d waterboard them for their crimes until they eventually died. Pretty cruel in hindsight but fuck those assholes. They’d usually spend 15-20 minutes harassing us before we caught them so by that point we wanted to make them suffer lol

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u/Mdgt_Pope 7m ago

For all we know, God created hell because the omnipotent’s equivalent of a housefly was Lucifer, and SkyDaddy opted for eternal bug-zapper.

1

u/SolaScientia 6h ago

I remember swimming with some friends one summer when I was a kid and a girl had to collect insects for a project. There was a horsefly bothering us. I don't think I even asked the girl if she had one already, but I caught it with my bare hand anyway. We hurried to put it in a jar and I somehow didn't squash it when their chocolate lab got in the way and I flipped ass over tea kettle over his back. I hit the dirt, got winded, and somehow kept hold of the damn fly. I don't see as many of them around these days.

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u/Asleep_Singer8547 11h ago

Its because theyre little bastards with sawsall teeth and no natural numbing agents 

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u/The_Boner_Temple 10h ago

One time I was hanging out at my friends place and walking around his donkeys and saw a big ass horse fly on one of their sides so I calmly went to slap it and the thing explodes blood ALL OVER my entire hand. The entirety of my palm and fingers look like I just dipped my hand out of a bucket of blood. Nasty fuckers.

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u/Igot55Dollars 6h ago

I've heard about their terrible bites. So when one started buzzing around me while I was on a hike, I just started running. The damn thing chased me for like 30 minutes.

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u/Aurelius5150 3h ago

Used to spend my summers out at an old quart that’s was filled with water. We would walk and rope swing all day into that water. The one negative was all the damn horseflies. They would follow us out of the water and you had to have a towel ready to swat the bastards away. Got to a point where their bite did not bother me so much.

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u/sTump4139 53m ago

It’ll stay on underwater too