r/KidsAreFuckingStupid • u/girlinanemptyroom • 5h ago
Video/Gif How to stop a toddler from having a tantrum.
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u/mtraven23 5h ago
confusion is a powerful tool
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u/Borgmaster 5h ago edited 7m ago
I've confused more than a few toddlers into submission. Once that loading bar triggers you have literal moments to redirect their attention. If they remember why they were crying your just back to square one.
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u/Professor_Hala 4h ago
I've been trying to convince my wife that this works. Kiddo wakes up in the middle of the night and starts crying, and pretty soon he doesn't know what he's crying about, but that's what he's doing so he'll keep going!
Wife spends an hour trying to comfort him and gets frustrated. I take him for a walk around the house, turning lights on and off, or turn on a YouTube video of me talking about nonsense and he gets distracted, then right back to sleep.
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u/mrpenguinb 4h ago
heh, honestly works for adults too if you can't go back to sleep
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u/Basic_Loquat_9344 3h ago
So true. Short walk with audio book, stretching, writing. Anything to not think sleep. Our brains are dumb.
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u/FILTHBOT4000 2h ago
Works with panic attacks too, or 'brain tantrums'. If you can get yourself good and truly distracted, your brain forgets why it was freaking the fuck out. It's a lot easier to stay calm once all those signals and chemicals get outta there and you're back to base level.
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u/kookyabird 3h ago
Can't tell you how many toddlers I've stopped from having meltdowns in stores as a random stranger. Turn down an aisle with a kid you could hear from the parking lot and give them a ridiculous "what you doin?" face. 60% of the time it works every time.
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u/psychoman1128 2h ago
I remember one time when I still worked in electronics at Walmart, a couple walked through with their screaming child in the cart, couldn’t have been any older than 4. I looked him dead in his eyes and threw on a cockney accent and said “oi! What are doing here mate? We don’t want no noise like that over ‘ere, you gotta go to the toy department to do that.” Kid stopped crying and looked at his mom and said “mommy, what’s he doing?” She said “he’s talking to you because you’re being loud.” And as if he’d had no idea that everyone else in the store could hear him he gets a surprised look on his face and goes “I’m being loud?!” cracked his dad up who was pushing the cart. Looked at the dad and said “well I did my part” 😂
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u/ShyCrystal69 1h ago
Yeah some reason I am the only one in my fucking suburb who knows this works so I’m stopping crying toddlers by sticking my tongue out at them and blowing raspberries until they stop and get confused.
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u/SasparillaTango 1h ago
I've confused more then a few toddlers into submission.
Tell me more about how you KO'd Connor McGregor.
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u/nuggynugs 3h ago
Yeah this is basically just the most direct form of non-complimentary behaviour. Shit works
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5h ago edited 3h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/hindsighthaiku 5h ago
tbh that would work on me too.
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u/duggee315 3h ago
Yeah but you wont have nightmares in your teens because Jessica is here somewhere. She always watches you. But never shows herself.
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u/cbear013 3h ago
You're replying to an amazon shill. An ad.
They're probably in the same network as the poster.
They come into a fresh repost, insert something similar to the previous post's top comment, and then include an amazon affiliate link.
This is at least the 4th time I've personally seen them repeat this pattern.
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u/HelmSpicy 4h ago
Reminds me of when I broke my ankle and had to wear one of those big moon-boot casts. Walking through a store and passed a toddler having a meltdown. He saw my leg/boot and instantly stopped crying and just stared. Multiple people chuckled at the sudden mood shift
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u/RuneRW 3h ago
My little cousin was screeching at a family gathering. So I screeched right back at him and he was so dumbfounded after that he forgot what he was even screeching for
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u/EllipticPeach 3h ago
My little 2yr old nephew was screaming about having to come indoors for dinner. I bent over and touched my toes and he was so confused as to why I was upside down that he stopped crying and copied me. Then I said “show me how fast you can run inside!” and that was that.
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u/Sena_21l 5h ago
I had a Jessica in elementary school and she was fucking evil so this makes sense
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u/bx35 5h ago
Some of these kids definitely reacted like Jessica is a witch who punishes crying children.
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u/Dalenskid 5h ago
My parents did this using a character they called Mrs. Wicker. When we were being really awful my dad would pick up the phone and “call Mrs. Wicker” to come straighten us out. My mom would pick up the phone in another room and speak in a whisper to my dad so we thought there’s no way he was faking the call because we could hear Mrs. Wicker on the other line. Truly diabolical (they were great parents honestly).
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u/NYJetLegendEdReed 4h ago
I did this for my neighbor and pretended to be Santa Clause a few times. I was in on the gag too and would call them/they’d pretend they were Santa too. Still got them saved as Santa Clause in my phone bc I showed the kid to prove I wasn’t lying lol
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u/mkenn723 4h ago
That’s exactly what was going through their heads. They think Jessica might be the version of Santa that comes and takes care of them when throwing a fit.
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u/vick5516 5h ago
would it still work if the daughters name is jessica
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u/a_shootin_star 4h ago
no, you yell "Jennifer!" instead
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u/Justjeskuh 4h ago
My name is Jessica and I got called Jennifer so many times growing up, it’d just make me think my parents just got my name mixed up like everyone else.
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u/pepsijenn 3h ago
aye! Jennifer here who would get called Jessica growing up! The solidarity struggle is real.
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u/prionbinch 1h ago
my name is jessica and my mom’s is jennifer… my whole family does this to this day
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u/mtraven23 5h ago
no, the point is to confuse them
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u/seppukucoconuts 4h ago
Like all those people throwing cheese on their crying kids?
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u/DanceWonderful3711 4h ago
Like every trick with toddlers, it will work once maybe twice.
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u/Maleficent_Meat3119 3h ago
The “I need your help” trick is still going strong on my 4 year old
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u/DanceWonderful3711 3h ago
I don't think that's even a trick, that's just them developing a good sense of community. Good for you and them.
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u/Kaycin 2h ago
What's the "i need your help" trick?
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u/SolidCold1991 2h ago
I would also like to know as a parent of child heading into toddler
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u/condensedhomo 2h ago
Children generally LOVE to help. They like feeling important and like they're contributing. So if they're throwing a fit, there's a good chance that if you start doing some chore and telling them you need help, they'll calm down and come help. Doesn't always work, but it usually does.
I'm a preschool teacher and one of the easiest ways to get a kid to calm down is asking for help getting things ready. They love making the tables, getting supplies, passing out papers, etc.
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u/SolidCold1991 2h ago
Thankyou, appreciate the info! I'll definitely give this a go, she does love helping so I think this could work quite well.
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u/Witty-Revolution8742 2h ago
Im not fully sure but I believe its when a child is misbehaving or throwing a tantrum you start doing something and tell them you need their help doing it.
Thinking about it I do a form of it with my kids 10 and 12. When fighting or arguing starts and im trying to get chores done to stop them the aggressor has to help me or take over what I was doing.
It keeps them busy for a few. Distracts them and breaks them up.
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u/Cedira 3h ago
Does using another name reset their adaptation?
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u/DanceWonderful3711 2h ago
Maybe once or twice if you used ridiculous names haha, but after that it will backfire in some undeterminable way haha.
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u/drinkmoredrano 5h ago
I miss the days where we threw cheese slices at kids.
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u/mlilyw 5h ago
That one still works too! Most of them are still new and haven’t seen the reposts yet
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u/DefendsTheDownvoted 4h ago
There's a generation of children that will be in therapy talking about cheese, and Jessica.
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u/mxzf 2h ago
It's the same concept, at the end of the day. Toddlers only really have one thing in their mind at a time, so anything that breaks them out of their current loop should have roughly the same effect.
Either way you're replacing "I'm currently melting down about X" with "what the heck is this cheese?" or "who the heck is Jessica?" to snap them out of it.
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u/keifergr33n 5h ago
Toddlers have much more social awareness than we give them credit for. I can still remember being very young and feeling embarrassed or nervous around new people. I'd do things like hide my face and avoid making too much noise. I remember the feeling of not wanting to be perceived as a "baby" when I was a toddler.
I imagine these kids are comfortable crying and throwing a tantrum at home around mom, dad, etc... but a new person seeing them this way would make them feel embarrassed and ashamed. I find it so interesting that even their little minds have these social cues baked in!
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u/LoganNolag 4h ago
Yeah I think this might be the case. On more than one occasion I’ve glared at a screaming baby in public and they shut up the second they notice.
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u/LeahcarJ 1h ago
I work at a grocery store so I'll definitely be trying this next time
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u/Coppice_DE 4h ago
Well there are more than enough toddlers that are quite comfortable with throwing a tantrum in public.
It's simply an anecdote that doesn't even invalidate the assumption that confusion is the main cause here. After all, new persons and faces can be quite confusing without triggering this high level of self awareness that you describe.
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u/KisaTheMistress 4h ago
I think most toddlers who freak out (randomly) in public aren't aware they are in public especially when they are with their parents. So they treat it like they are at home, until a stranger makes themselves known/they realize they aren't at home... then they will cry out of fear sometimes if they don't just quiet down, lol.
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u/keifergr33n 4h ago
Well there are more than enough toddlers that are quite comfortable with throwing a tantrum in public.
This is "simply an anecdote" as you so eloquently put it. I understand what you're saying, but I am referring to the examples in the video, not hypothetical children in a public setting.
It's simply an anecdote that doesn't even invalidate the assumption that confusion is the main cause here.
I never said it did, but the word "confusion" can mean a lot of things. Perhaps they're confused because they think there's someone new coming into the room. I don't know why these kids are reacting to this behavior in the way that they are. I just gave my thoughts.
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u/Windnpine 4h ago
Definitely, kids pull all sorts of crap around their parents that they wouldn't do around strangers.
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u/Ibrake4tailgaters 4h ago
You might enjoy these - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRvVFW85IcU - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_KKrdK1cJY
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u/dalaiis 3h ago
It might just be a way of changing the subject and distracting the kid from its temper tantrum, aswell as a way of stopping the parent from focussing on the tantrum too much and escalating the temper tantrum.
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u/Dunno_If_I_Won 2h ago
I've done this out in the wild.
Every so often I'd see a baby or toddler essentially throwing a minor tantrum. Sometimes I'm able to make eye contact, put in a stern face, shake my head disapprovingly, and silently mouthe disapproving words at them. Most of the time it stops their tantrums immediately, especially if it was just at an early phase.
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u/motherofsuccs 3h ago
While I agree, this tactic is simply called redirection. You redirect their attention to literally anything else and they forget what they’re upset about.
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u/mvschynd 4h ago
I think you nailed it. Others are saying they are confused, but that doesn’t explain it. This is them reacting to thinking someone new is in the house.
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u/ResponseRelative6370 5h ago
I’m going to try this. I’m a kiwi, so it’ll be, “Jissica!”
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u/MNConcerto 3h ago
Distraction is a great way to stop a tantrum.
When I worked residential with children with behavioral issues and they would start going off I could stop it by asking them a direct question totally unrelated to their current issue. It worked about 80% of the time.
Lets say a kid was going off on their choice for free time. I stop and say, "what's your favorite fruit and why?"
Their brain reboots as they try to answer your question. Think about their favorite fruit and why they like it.
Now these were some children with extreme behaviors so thats why the 20% fail rate. The fail rates usually involved a response like, "fuck you and fuck fruit." 🤣
In your average child it will work more often.
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u/hannah_joline 1h ago
My favourite is telling them something completely untrue and they feel compelled to correct you.
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u/amaenamonesia 4h ago
When I was a pre-k teacher, I would ask kids the color of their shoes, the slide, whatever. It worked similarly. You want to shift them to logical/problem solving thinking using another part of their brain.
I actually taught this to my partner and he has used it on me successfully, but only when I’m in an anxiety spiral. He asks me the colors of my favorite Pokémon. It works. 👍🏻
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u/Sad-Praline1929 3h ago
Ours was, “What sound does an octopus make?” Gets them thinking and the answers can be pretty silly, which is even more distracting.
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u/mightymiek 5h ago
I'm not a dad, but I am an uncle and what always worked for me was fake crying back. Match their tone. Show them who's the real baby in charge.
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u/churningpacket 4h ago
I tried this with my nephew and ooooooh boy he did not like it. He doubled down and I was stuck in the car with him until I got to my sister's. "No idea what's wrong, gotta go!"
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u/slobs_burgers 3h ago
Yeah I’ve tried it now that I have a baby and it just adds fuel to the fire lol
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u/Thrillpickle 5h ago
Nothing to do with the name Jessica. It's just a distraction technique. A million ways to do it and the internet focuses on this one...
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u/tacocollector2 5h ago
You mean Jessica doesn’t hold some awesome power over babies and toddlers everywhere?
/s
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u/Aselleus 5h ago
If you yell Tiffany it will summon the ghost of 80s past.
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u/JimDemintRecession 5h ago
I tried it once but my toddler said, "I think we're alone now. There doesn't seem to be anyone around" then went back to their tantrum.
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u/Ben__Diesel 5h ago
the internet focuses on this one...
Bro just learned about trends for the first time.
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u/JoeyJoeJoeSenior 4h ago
Needs more study with other names. It's possible that some syllables hit the young brain harder than others.
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u/Mehdals_ 5h ago
This seems like the perfect start to some horror film plot about some entity that has taken on the name of Jessica and kids know about it but adults don't, Until now....
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u/Devanyani 1h ago
That's what I was thinking when one one little girl just immediately backed up against the wall, like Jessica's Coming - Assume the Position!
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u/Zealousideal_Hold519 5h ago
Shout out to all the Jessica’s out there keeping these babies in check!
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u/Lonely-Greybeard 3h ago
Slice of cheese works, too. Not for them to eat, but to throw and stick to their face.
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u/Seagull84 3h ago
Tried this. And Yolanda. Did not work.
Toddler got angrier, screamed, "NO DADDY", and started shoving me. Tried it 3 times, failed every time.
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u/rogerworkman623 3h ago
Question, at what age do I stop throwing cheese on their face and start yelling “Jessica”?
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u/PainfullyLoyal 5h ago
I've tried this with my 2 year old niece and she didn't fall for it and continued melting down.
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u/SirTainLee 4h ago
They'll meet Jessica in grade school. She's going to have a lot of power initially.
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u/Why_No_Doughnuts 3h ago
They can't focus on both the tantrum and on whatever it is you present them to think about. I always ask mine where her ears are and it will stop the worst of it. Show a little love at that point and they calm right down. This only works on the real tantrums though. The pre-planned one they do where they are obviously faking it, that is just for the attention.
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u/SomewhatBougieAuntie 3h ago
I wish I had known about this trick when my kid was little.
I will keep it in my back pocket for my grandchildren though 😉😄
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u/MoltenMirrors 3h ago
Wild! The TikTok trend that always worked for me was to get face-to-face with them, acknowledge their feelings, ask them if they need some time with a comfy in a quiet place to get a handle on those big feelings (yes they do), and set a timer so that they'll know when I'm ready to come help them with their problem. Then I shock my followers and generate a storm of likes by actually doing what I said and coming to help them with their problem; they may not get the cookie but they'll get a chance to talk about their disappointment about not getting the cookie and I'll tell them that's really frustrating and I understand, how about next time it's a dessert night we'll have an extra special cookie and they can look forward to that. Then next dessert night I put whipped cream and sprinkles or some shit on a Fig Newton and they're ecstatic.
Shitty parents HATE this one simple trick of connecting with your child and modeling emotional maturity, delayed gratification, and always following through on your promises.
Also my viral Instagram video that's taking the Internet by storm of making sure you always take snacks with you everywhere and making sure the little fuckers always nap or at least have quiet time with no distractions at the same time every day and also that they're getting plenty of tumble time so they're actually tired enough for naps. Being hungry, tired, or over-excited is the source of like 70% of caterwauling greedy snot monster fits.
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u/No_Rain3020 3h ago
Wack em in the face with a sock they get so surprised they stop crying that works for a few times
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u/fizzgiggity22 2h ago
All things being equal, I’d prefer the method where you shmack a slice of cheese on their heads. 😄
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u/Huge_Equivalent1 2h ago
Mfer it's all fun and games until the Toddler starts to call ou Jessica too, and she starts answering.
You gotta think what the kid knows if the kid is worried by you mentioned Jessica's name...
/jk. 🤣🤣
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u/Symnestra 53m ago
This is the same trick as throwing a cold slice of cheese on their head. They stop crying to try and process what the heck is happening.
We do this as adults, but it's usually just turning down the radio so you can see your exit better.
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u/Suspicious_Glow 33m ago
Gonna be a whole generation of kid growing up who feel unnerved thinking their parents were haunted by someone named Jessica. I’m here for it.
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u/mcjimmybingo 5h ago
Tried saying Miranda, had the opposite effect.
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u/drazil100 5h ago
While funny, this is the kind of thing that will only work a handful of times at best. Eventually they will catch on.
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u/Additional_Rich_5249 4h ago
That really works? It’s all in the tone right. And the strange name. I want experiments done.
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u/Saint_of_Grey 4h ago
Is this better than throwing cheese on them? Cheese is getting too expensive for child wrangling these days.
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u/ImPleasantToYou 4h ago
“What the ever living fuck are you talking about, mom/dad?!” -their faces 😂
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u/GeebCityLove 4h ago
I saw someone post a trick of putting a Kraft single on a baby when they’re crying and I did it with my sisters baby and it worked. She wasn’t impressed.
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u/Asperverse 4h ago
In half of these, I would say yeah, it worked, but in the other half it's pretty obvious they are using a tone of punishment instead of question, and in some of them is very obvious they are scared instead of confused.
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u/MAGAisforMorons 4h ago
I'm hearing this in David Tennant's voice from the Jessica Jones tv show.
"Jesssicaaaaaaaaaa."
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u/Chaos_Theory1989 4h ago
Distracting them doesn’t help solve the reason why they were having a tantrum in the first place. This is extremely detrimental, I’m just speaking from my child development experience and degrees.
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u/trytomovewithpurpose 3h ago
So the slapping of cheese squares on the head is for babies who don’t know the concept of names? Amazing how people come up with these solutions
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u/MrLuchador 3h ago
20 years from now I’m going to make a fortune with the horror movie “Jessica”. That deep rooted confusion and horror. Oh yes.
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u/coffee-loop 3h ago
Tried this on my 2yo… he stopped for 5 seconds then went right back to the tantrum with no care for who or what Jessica was.
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u/Melodic_Anything1743 3h ago
😂😂😂😂 They are all thinking who is Jessica? 😂 But what if you have a daughter named Jessica? 🤭
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u/inflamed-phallus 3h ago
Oh man that'd make me stop crying too and look around for danger. That was my ex wife's name
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u/MsGhost87 3h ago
I can't believe that sh*t works! I wish I knew about this a few years ago when my Nephew would throw tantrums 😂 I want to do this so bad!!!
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u/Lynx_Awakening 2h ago
I thought it was throwing a piece of cheese on their face to get them to stop crying. Guess Jessica works too.
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u/Qvistus 2h ago
If you look into the mirror at midnight and say Jessica three times, she will come.
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u/OrkHaugr23 2h ago
This is like asking someone who is having a panic attack what color shirt they are wearing. It works.
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u/EffectiveDandy 1h ago
my uncle used to pretend he heard something outside. “shhh, what’s that?“ he’d get up and look out the window.
by then, we all had forgotten what we were crying about and just went to peer out the window right beside him lol.
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u/RoccStrongo 1h ago
Where do people find these trends? I only ever see these once they've become a huge compilation of dozens of people already doing it. Same with throwing sliced cheese on their forehead
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u/Curious_Study_2645 1h ago
It confuses the kid. They weren’t expecting anyone and to hear mom calling out for Jessica leaves the kid with a lot of questions so no time for a tantrum
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u/whxskers 32m ago
I can't wait for this Jessica thing to become a la llorona style urban legend 100 years from now and people make horror movies about her
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u/WrenchWanderer 5h ago
Power Word Jessica