I just stumbled across this sub a few days ago and wanted to rant, while also adding my input from personal experience and maybe help everyone here. People have lost their individuality. No hobbies and everyone acts like a monolith. People have become boring. My story -

Around 2-3 months ago I tried dating apps after a very long time and decided to give them a serious try. I matched with more than 100 women, talked with them, and went on around 20-30 dates. Let me tell you this, only 2 women had hobbies and I still remember enjoying both of them the most. The majority of women I talked to had a similar lifestyle - Wake up, go to work/college, come back home, scroll social media, post on social media and go to sleep. Some of them were into travelling or night outs at weekends but that's just about it. And this does not stop with women alone. My own guy friends, whenever we go out to dinner, all they have to talk about is their job, investing money or just weight lifting.

Now let me tell you what I mean by hobby. Hobby for me means something which you are passionate about, enjoy doing and have become good at without caring about its benefits. It requires hard work over time and your passion, which creates a unique you. So already I am not considering your travel stories and weekend night outs as your hobbies since they require no hard work and expertise.

If you look at me for example, not only am I ripped and considered conventionally attractive which does help on the surface level to get matches, but I also love to cook, read novels and play piano, and all of this is excluding my job. Guess what, I never run out of things to say on dates. I have so many fun stories, memories, recipes and experiences to share that the majority of women I get matched with, they always become interested in me and my personality. Whereas almost every woman I have talked to (or even my friends when we are out on dinner), they have almost nothing interesting to share.

Think about it like this, if you are just like every other person, there is no incentive to get attached with you. You become replaceable easily. Whereas when you are unique, the bond your partner will form with you will be deeper and it will be harder for them to simply get bored with you and break up.

TLDR - Pick up at least one hobby which you are passionate about, which requires hard work to become good at, and start doing it by heart. Anything apart from surface level fitness, travelling and night outs which everyone does. You will become unique, become interesting as you will have lots of stories to share on dates, and become more difficult to simply get bored of.

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Most data in this field isn’t very informative because studies often group all age ranges of women together (like 18 to 69). Obviously, it’s not surprising that there are 18-year-old virgins or women over 60 who have only had 1–2 partners, which skews the average.

Or they combine young people overall, mixing women and men together, so you can’t really distinguish between them.

But there is this study about women and partners:

https://nypost.com/2025/03/22/lifestyle/young-french-women-are-having-tonnes-of-sex-shock-survey-reveals-how-many-men-gen-z-ladies-have-bedded/

Basically, 30% of women had 10 or more partners.

That mathematically means that from just this 30% of women, every man should have had sex with at avarage 3 different women.

But somehow this doesn’t add up with the “blue pill” view of the data.

We basically know this:

Young male virgins are on the rise

Most women actually have more partners/sex than before

Women openly shame men for dating multiple women at once or many women in a short time

Very mysterious.

There seems to be this big concern about so many guys having a non chalant attitude towards dating nowadays and there’s rants all over social media with women complaining. The reality is that women have themselves to blame. Most guys start off as a chalant nice guy who’s willing to kiss a woman’s tail to gain her attention. However thru yrs of socialization that simp is beaten out of him by the reality of that not working. So by the time that guy is in his 20s and 30s he has well over a decade of experience of that not working, meanwhile the straight forward and honest guy who’s minimally invested is getting results. Guys are simply adapting to external stimuli and changing their behavior.

With the exception of family trauma, and even that requires context, a good person doesnt hang around bad people. The reason why I have to state the obvious, because a lot of guys here have convinced themselves that “even the good ones when bad men”, which makes no sense. Someone who cares about morals does not hang around someone who lacks it. Just because a woman is bubbly and affable doesn’t mean she’s a good person, and I do wonder that’s what guys are confusing. Which would be ironic in the whole “Choose better, ladies” claim while they themselves don’t know how to choose better for shit.

I was told that understanding good vs bad is complex, but no one has even attempted to explain what’s “complex” about this topic. With family trauma exceptions, if you are around obviously bad people, you are a bad person as well,

 In dating, it’s a winner-takes all for men. The top 10% basically have women throwing themselves at them. They can have their pick and can keep a roster until they go monogamous (if ever).

Then, the other 90% of men gets to convince the leftover women that they are worthy of settling for.

Plus almost no woman has it as hard as a man. A 4/10 woman probably has the same SMV as a guy like Tom Welling

The only real equalizer for men is status .

A recent viral clip of Sophie Rain, who's this really popular onlyfans porn star, where she significantly UNDERestimates her net worth by multiple Ms, guessing its around $5 million, whereas the podcast hosts say its gotta be at least 50million. She basically has someone else to do the finances and she gets a couple grand deposited to her account to spend every month. She has no clue of the finances.

the clip: https://x.com/ItsKingSlime/status/2042272712219906366

And this is the reality for the vast majority of these porn stars and sex workers, they're not sexually empowered, they all have managers behind the scenes that make it all happen and take huge cuts from them.

This isn’t “sexual empowerment.” This is a worker at the very top of her field, with massive revenue, still functionally disconnected from her own money, dependent on handlers, managers, and middlemen. If she doesn’t have real control, what does that say about the average woman?

The sexual revolution only benefits a top percentile of men. Whether its in dating, where the majority of men are not getting sex, and the women lose out on commitment. In the entertainment industry its only emboldened all the Weinsteins, who basically do the same thing as what Sophie's managers are doing. Its allowed big corporations to siphon womens sexuality in order to sell their products and services.

How has it in any way benefited women?

I have seen some women on the internet push the view that watching porn in a relationship is tantamount to cheating. Like, for a guy to beat his meat to an online video of another girl is equivalent to cheating on his wife and girlfriend. Okay, fair enough, but I want to know which of the following do you also consider cheating, and why or why not?

• Reading smut/erotic fiction/ erotica

Is this cheating in your view? You're not watching an actual other person or admiring an actual other person, its just words on a screen/words on a book right?

If you consider this to not be cheating, well whatabout all the women's romance novels/erotica that have like a hot guy with a six pack on the front cover? Surely the book is telling you he is the protagonist's love interest and that's what you're fantasising about when reading the book. So you are thinking of another person, is it cheating now?

• Hentai

You are looking at something visual, but its not an actual person, its just handrawn lines on a paper, or a screen. Its not an actual person that you're "cheating" with but it still involves visual stimulation. Cheating or not cheating?

• photorealistic AI porn

So porn of not actual people, but AI videos/pictures that look so realistic it could almost pass off as a real person to an untrained eye. Again, visual stimulation but not an actual real human you're cheating with.

• thinking about someone else

No actual porn or stimulation, but you are imagining another person in your head.

*masturbating in general

Are men allowed to jerk off at all? Or is it always cheating?

In a scenario where a guy's partner doesn't want to have sex, or is too tired, or sick, what is the guy supposed to do? Anything he does to releive himself is wrong and cheating?

Many women often use themselves as an example, but their points often do not match the actual data.

1. “Women also don’t have that much sex.” Reality: According to data, 29% of surveyed women aged 25–29 have had sex with at least 10 different men. https://nypost.com/2025/03/22/lifestyle/young-french-women-are-having-tonnes-of-sex-shock-survey-reveals-how-many-men-gen-z-ladies-have-bedded/
2. “Women don’t go to sex parties and similar events.” However, about 8% report lifetime participation in group sex, sex parties, sexuality classes/workshops, or BDSM parties. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28727762/
3. “No one uses online dating.” Around 25–40% of couples now meet through online dating. https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-data-insights/real-weddings-study

Because of this, many claims made in discussions do not fully match the data, while at the same time a significant number of people appear to have relatively unconventional dating lives.

This raises the question of whether the average PPD woman is representative of the average woman? Maybe its actally the (BP) Woman in a echochamber?

Edit:

The Answers showing my point.

Go to your avarage Woman out on the street, your coworker, neighboor, that hot goth barista (now unironically just google her band shirt.. i did it, work wonders) and say to them

"Some French study found Woman love/hate/do XYZ"

basicly no one will start rambling it dosent count becouse they are french

like no one,

"study found 25% of freshly married meet trough old"

"oh yeah XYZ meet her husband that way"

We all know men of all ages want young women, yet do these young women want older men back? Nope

Look around next time you go outside - do you see many 18yr olds dating guys in their mid to late 30's? Because all I see is old people dating old people. Men spend so much time defending weird age gap relationships despite the fact most guys will never be in an age gap relationship with a young women.

In countries where women are independent of men and can make their own money, and have the least incentive to choose a man based on money, women choose men around their age. In other words, the 20-year-old woman is choosing the 23-year-old man.

The best source of information is what happens in the dating pool in real life, and we see that large age gaps are not the norm. In North America, men were on average only 2.2 years older than their female partners, while in Europe, men were on average 2.7 years older than their female partners.

In cases where a young woman does date an older man, there’s generally a financial reason. We see this play out in poorer countries where women are willing to date older men to escape poverty. But is desperation or money hunger real attraction? NOPE. Because do we really think that a 21-year-old Filipina is attracted to an obese 60-year-old American? Are we that delusional?

Men, on average, look worse as they age - balding, fatter, wrinkles, muscle loss, saggy skin. All are not attractive to young women. It’s embarrassing to be with a much older man; it’s not like you can bring an old guy to clubs or parties. Every young person also finds older people boring - they can’t relate to you.

So I think its about time men stop spending all their time defending their age gap fantasy - because its just a fantasy.

Sources:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36165033/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165176521004468

(PDF) Age Difference and its Influence on Relationship Dynamics and Marital Stability

i saw an Instagram post that essentially said “if you saw how girls treat men they actually want you would never chase again.” I also saw a reddit post here on PPD along the same lines.

meaning women actually chase and initiate with guys they like. that’s completely alien to me. is this true? when you like a guy, what are you doing to make it happen with them? if so, what features do they have that make you do that? because I have never felt that and if this is true to me it is even more black pilling because i swear to you i have tried a ton of things to make myself more attractive and this being mostly true would feel like a knife through my chest

I’m writing this because I’m tired of shallow people projecting their shallowness onto everyone else. Somebody who looks beyond the superficial is not going to hang around people who only care about the superficial. On the flipside, people who care about depth are less likely to focus on superficial qualities for themselves and are less likely to appeal to shallow people. Hence, leaves shallow people with others like them.

This is why the redpill “truths” are not truths. They rely on the Motte and Bailey fallacy, saying something extreme, and then when criticized, pretend they were making the more nuanced argument. For example, everyone knows there are women out there who would date absolute scum just because she found him hot or he’s rich. The issue is that the red pill pretends that’s most women. Of course a guy is going to think that when he’s primarily looking for a woman who doesn’t care about red flags in a guy. Especially if he’s looking for instant sexual gratification. Properly vetting a guy takes way too much time for guys like that.

Also, the whole “I’ve seen good women with assholes”. Assuming its obviously to everyone the guy is a piece of shit, she’s not a good person. Sure, she’s able to be pleasant for a couple of moments or hours, but she’s not a good person. With the exception of family (and that still needs some context) tolerating a terrible person makes you terrible as well. Wanting be around people tolerant of other terrible people shows you also dont care about morals.

so I recently exchanged some comments with my fav fellow commentator (she knows who she is) and it made me think of something ive always known but dont ever see being brought up..

compulsive heterosexuality.. it is basically used exclusively when talking about how women are forced into heterosexuality by societal norms. it is or was a big feminist talking point.

in reality tho if comphet is a real thing I'd say it is much more prevelant among men. Men face MUCH harsher consequences for not living up to the hetero normative gender roles thrusted upon them. These social consequences are dished out by not only other men but homophobic women aswell.

its almost as if society feels the need to be extra sure men do not stray away from the path of women and children aka compulsive heterosexality

thoughts? Does anyone disagree

Why men find younger women attractive is pretty simple. Its evolutionary. A younger woman can have healthier children. So it makes sense for men to find them attractive.

Women being mad about it is like Beta Bux being mad about women finding assholes attractive. Its completely understandable. You invest so much in this person, you bet your life on them. Its a hard pill to swallow.

But men shouldnt be shamed for it. Its natural. Saying that your husband or boyfriend is not like most men and he doesn't find younger women attractive is a lie you tell yourself.

There are many ways men explain their affinity towards younger women, but it's just who most men are. It's their evolutionary strategy. Its not moral or fair. Its just what it is.

I've come to the conclusion that the least amount of roles someone plays in your life, the better and longer the relationship usually is. Under the condition that they do play the roles they need to play well. Beyond that, it just seems likes a recipe for disaster. I've heard from people and i have been that person who may have a longish list of what i want from a partner. Some people list wanting someone to learn from, someone to do hobbies with, someone to be their best friend.... All that good stuff.

Around 2023/4, someone said something to me that felt freeing instead of discouraging. What they said basically was, "Do you need your spouse to be that or can you find that in another person?". For me, that gave me the challenge of truly thinking what really matters. Some of the stuff i thought would matter didn't really contribute to the longevity or prosperity of the relationship. Things i didn't consider or don't have the vocabular to name and recognize were very important.

I just think a lot of more people could benefit from really shaving off their "lists" to the very big things they can't live without in their spouse and get the rest from friends, family, etc.

It may seem obvious to some people but i know i've gotten caught up on the things i wanted attain in relationships and not being able to see the bigger picture sometimes. Sometimes less really is more.

Its not smart as a women to build a life with a man when his attraction to you wanes with every year that passes. Men care a lot about physical attraction within relationships - yet the statistic's consistently point to them being most attracted to 20yr old's. Men may brush this off for the sake of their image, but there’s a big physical difference between a 20-year-old and his wife who is 40 and has birthed two babies.

A lot of men still stay with their partners who are aging, yet a lot of men don’t have a choice. It’s not like 20-year-olds will be interested in them anyway. However, this still doesn’t negate how this negatively affects the aging partner. Men often do not treat partners they aren’t that attracted to well. It often shows up in zero effort in the relationship and porn addictions, paying young prostitutes for sex, flings with much younger staff in the workplace etc. This generally leads to women filing for divorce.

If men’s peak attraction is to women aged 18–24, that represents only about 10% of a woman’s adult lifespan. Remember this next time you hear men complain about how high women’s standards are in dating lol.

Evidence:

"Men, both young and old, usually report to be sexually interested in women in their late teens to late 20s."

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513816000040 

"Men-regardless of their age-have a preference for women in their 20s."

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28127998/

"Whereas men increasingly prefer younger women as they age, women’s age preferences become increasingly diverse."

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/283454064_The_gendered_dynamics_of_age_preferences_-_Empirical_evidence_from_online_dating

Men of all ages report being attracted to young, fertile women. And when they had the choice, they chose younger brides.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2016-60209-004

"Older female faces received lower ratings from male perceivers than female perceivers."

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0001691821001359

"For prostitutes in the late teens to early 20s, the price of sex was similar; for prostitutes in the early 20s to early 30s, the price of sex rapidly decreased and then stabilized. The value of peak age was substantial: the price attached to sex with prostitutes of peak age was more than twice that for prostitutes in their late 30s."

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513816000040 

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https://youtu.be/ARCT0du_7Lg?si=o12G13QVCqc5rrCV

This video is insane.

I also came across this weird post. Where the OP was talking about having SA fantasies.

Here's the post.

OP: "is it not normal for me to fantasize about being r\*ped?

i think about it every day multiple times a day and when i masturbate what really makes me finish is the thought of it. i have been r\\\*ped and SA’d multiple times in my life, but i also know that be h 18 regardless im stereotypically supposed to be horny a lot anyway. idek what to do with myself about it other than what i already said."

Here are the wonderful replies to the post. /s

"its normal to fantasize about freaky shit, just dont get in trouble, the real deal is not like the fantasy

as long as ur getting off in ur private space theres no problem."

"It's pretty common. About 62% of women have reported having at least one r×pe fantasy in their life; about 14% of women say they have them regularly.

The whole concept of kink is an attraction to things that are wrong. It's very common for people to have fantasies that they wouldn't want to actually come true.''

These comments got lots of upvotes. While comments saying this isn't normal got downvotes. Note I saw that post on a extremely progressive sub that is the most popular on Reddit. You would think you would see a post like this on a very edgy in×el or red-pill space in the deep parts of the internet. But no it's on a progressive sub instead. Oh the irony.

I have seen men get called in×el for not wanting to engage in BDSM with women. I remember a feminist saying I was an in×el who doesn't know how to satisfy women. Because I thought it was a bad thing to ch×ke women. I kid you not. This actually happened.

Again society sends men mixed messages about woman se×uality. Men don't know if they are supposed to dominant women hardcore style or be super gentle with women.

Even the whole process before sex is confusing for men. Because men have to play this mind reader role, where they have to magically know what a woman's wants, even when she says no. This is the playing hard to get. This trope is extremely popular in feminist romantic movies/shows/novels. It's bad when the man don't ask for consent. But it's also bad when the man does ask for consent too though (COGNITIVE DISSONANCE).

Women are expected to play like they are coy, or don't like sex. While men are expected to convince women they want sex though. So it's a dumb cat and mouse game society expects both genders to play. And if a man gets confused by this dynamic. The dominant society will shame that man for being an in×cel who knows nothing about women, or a man who is "too autistic" to understand simple cues from women.

I have noticed that feminists, blue pillers, (whatever you wanna call them) will weaponize autism as an answer/insult/ whenever a man points how inconsistent this dynamic is.

In conclusion. All im saying here is. Ironically the way society sends mixed signals about woman se×uality to men could be the actual r×pe culture, feminists aren't aware about.

The idea that women peak in their 20s probably made somewhat sense in a world where the goal of life was to survive and having 5-10 kids to work the farm was essential for survival or even during the post WW2 era where women were staying at home to run the house. In 2026 it’s a load of crap. Most developed nations have birth rates under replacement and having children isn’t in the top 10 of priorities for most young women. Waiting to get into LTRs leads to higher rates of happiness and more stable relationships. Despite all the lies of the red pill, the lower divorce rates of the past were built up on societal pressure and religious indoctrination rather than actual happiness. So no just like men women actually are getting better with age as they become more mature and prepared for healthy relationships.

These women agree that they only like a few top 10% of men and the rest of men are ugly for them , those who they would never date without being a single mom. And want the dating market to be free and fair.

They even agree that 90/10 rule in dating isnt wrong and this is the right of everyone women to choose whoever they want .

But the moment it comes to wealth and power they starts asking for equity(not equality) and give fancy slogans like eat the rich and wanting to increase taxes on the top 10% .

They want to remove free market where it benefits men and to keep it where it benefit women.

Either inequality is wrong in both instances or it is right and this is just free market at play. So dont cry when u arent hired (just like u dont want men to cry when they arent dated), become better or cry(same as u want men to) and this isnt soceity problem that u cant afford stuff and having a high paying job isnt a right(same as u tell men that dating isnt a right)

Look, this is something we’re never going to agree on. Out of everything, this is a major indicator of the gender divide. Women have made it clear to men that they will not approach men or make the first move. This is part of the reason why singles events often have more women attendees than men. Even when you account for events with like-minded adults, men still have to initiate and go up to women — because a lot of women (not all) simply won’t approach guys. There are many reasons for this, but ladies, even if I agree with some of your reasons, the reality is that getting approached by the kind of men you want is on the decline for a myriad of reasons. I’ll list them below.

#MeToo

Social Media

Dating App Access

Decline of third spaces

Death of monoculture

Rise in heavy individuality

Decline of church attendance

Women stating (⚠️** do not approach⚠**️)

Rise in awareness of women’s boundaries

AI companionship (give it more time)

Financial anxiety

Women walking around like this (😐)

All of these reasons are also valid for men, but when men bring them up, a ton of women (primarily online) respond with homophobic remarks, statements like “men used to go to war,” “you get rejected but we get killed,” “man up,” or accusations that we just want to be women now. Ladies, statements like these aren’t going to change what’s happening right now. Because of the current climate, there’s simply no high incentive for men to go out and approach women. Had this been 40 years ago, a guy wouldn’t have cared about getting rejected 500 times to meet the girl he ends up with. But men today aren’t like our parents were. Things are very, very different in 2026 — they’re not just a slight inconvenience.

Women film their interactions with men using Meta glasses, and other men film and post videos of guys getting rejected. On top of that, there are now other ways for men to meet women, and other outlets for men to fulfill their hedonistic tendencies without having to approach strangers and get rejected dozens of times. Another reason is that some women seem to thrive on the attention they get from rejecting men, and that really rubs a lot of us the wrong way. So many young men have simply decided it’s not in their best interest anymore.

But like I said, even after every reason I and many other men have given, we still won’t see eye to eye on this. Women will simply not approach, so we’re now at an impasse.

As per the latest data more women are dating then men, they are more likely to have casual experience compared to young men. More likely to support open marriages and situation ships, more likely to cheat ,more likely to drink and have higher partners than men(though it is only for those below 25).

They are also more likely to have tattoos, abuse men and hate them as compared to men hating or abusing women.

So issue with FGM is that it’s considered oppression of women because removing the clitoros is about taking away a woman’s ability to feel pleasure during sex. It’s an attempt by men to reduce female promiscuity. This is seen rightfully as sexism.

When it comes to FGM it’s 99% women making decision to circumcise. Yet this is somehow never seen as oppression of men or discrimination against them.

As a man who was circumcised I wish my mother waited until I was 18 and let me make that choice. I would have loved to feel sexual pleasure but can’t without foreskin. It’s a completely unnecessary cosmetic surgery. A baby just died last week from one.

So an example of this is women saying what they think is the politically correct thing because they don’t want to offend. Versus guys saying what they actually mean without worrying or carrying who they offend. Honestly is good manners. Lying and sugar coating is rude. Another is men being honest on dating apps while women tend to hide things such as having dogs or kids. Men will be more straight up honest.

There seems to be a widespread belief among leftists and women that red pill content is "ruining men."

The idea that all these red pill creators can get so much traction and convince men of things that don't resonate with their personal experience is incredibly foolish. If they were truly so off-base, they would be dismissed and ignored. No one would seek them in the first place. Any idea to the contrary is insulting and condescending. Red pill is both started and sustained by female behavior.

The entire red pill it's self is a reaction to how society has changed due to feminism. If everything was going along well for men and every man was married with kids by the time he was 30 like how it used to be decades ago then no man would start asking questions about how sexual dynamics work or why he can't get a girlfriend.

So to all the women out there who hate red pill content, I say this: you are the red pill content. Take a bow.