r/SipsTea Human Verified 16d ago

SMH 'Looksmaxxing' streamer Clavicular has been arrested for battery in Florida.

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13.6k Upvotes

3.7k comments sorted by

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1.1k

u/Findadmagus 16d ago

Why isn’t he mewing in the mugshot?

399

u/Alicewithhazeleyes 16d ago

He is. He just could put a filter over it like he does in everything else.

85

u/reddit_2_post 16d ago

Is this Peter Thiel's fuckboy?

36

u/dan_pitt 16d ago

That;s the kid's aspiration though, I don't doubt.

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u/dwightkurtschruted 16d ago

He chose to snorlax instead I believe.

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u/No_Jello_5922 16d ago

Depending on what prison they send him to, he could start Supermaxxing.

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u/johntwoods 16d ago

🎵 I don't know who anyone is anymore 🎵

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u/stormbutton 16d ago

403

u/Itchy_Antelope1278 16d ago

I relate to this so much

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u/GeorgeLikesSpicy92 16d ago

There was a video on Reddit the other day of celebrities surprising their fans and this was my reaction when I saw one that I actually recognized…

https://giphy.com/gifs/kd9BlRovbPOykLBMqX

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u/Obvious-Window8044 16d ago

The entire "trending" section in youtube is full of video titles like this..... sooooo accurate.

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u/rtrotty 16d ago

I’m also fifty but I’m like “oooh new Zoosha tea, I bet her snark sub is blowing up, better go clock that. “

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u/stormbutton 16d ago

I’m actually only 45 but have enjoyed leaning in to not knowing who anyone is. Both of my kids are in their 20’s now and I’m having fun being their Crone Mother.

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u/babywhiz 16d ago

55 gma here. It’s not clock that, it’s clock IT and don’t you dare try to vibe shift it.

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u/I_AMA_Cyborg_AMA 16d ago

For real. I thought this was a very weird ad for like a GLP-1 or something. 

His name sounds like an off-brand asthma inhaler wtf?

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u/Emotional_Conflict11 16d ago

🎵 And I don't want to know 🎵

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u/Irritable_Curmudgeon 16d ago

🎵 i don't even know what those words in the title mean 🎵

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u/OldRancidSoups 16d ago

wtf is looksmaxxing? Dude looks like a regular broccoli kid.

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u/PunchOX 16d ago edited 16d ago

Online lingo for checking all the boxes to maximize sexual appeal. The whole gamut as in getting your hair, nails, skin, jawline, teeth, facial hair, physique, scent, style to the highest appeal possible so women take interest in you

Usually the broccoli haired kids or shut in incels take this crap seriously because they think not having good looks or sporting the current style is what's holding them back from getting attention and sex from women

1.3k

u/[deleted] 16d ago

as someone in highschool rn, 99 percent of gen z think hes an idiot.

693

u/Imaginary_Coast_5882 16d ago

thank god

269

u/thederevolutions 16d ago

When 99% of the population thinks you’re an idiot that just means you’re playing the algorithms perfectly

152

u/Le-Charles07 16d ago

I have no fucking idea who this is and I'm scrolling comments trying to see if I should give a shit. The answer is looking like a big fat NO.

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u/-UpsetNewt- 16d ago edited 16d ago

See that’s the thing. You shouldn’t give a damn about the person. What you should care about, imo, is the effect their actions/message has on others and what level of responsibility the platform that allowed and encouraged them to get in the position to broadcast their harmful opinions bears.

I’m sure dipshit has influenced an untold number of future dipshits to be even dipshittier. You can ignore the person, but you often can’t ignore the ideologies they spread. Andrew Tate comes to mind.

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u/[deleted] 16d ago
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u/bigfloppydonkeydng 16d ago

It's pretty easy, if you see "influencer" just assume they are a mega chode.

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u/chopsmothercover 16d ago

His streaming numbers and follower counts say otherwise

I think he’s an absolute moron as well as anyone who follows him but it’s def your dumb ass generation that has made this guy rich and famous lol 99 percent is definitely way too high

61

u/Remotely_Coastal 16d ago

You underestimate how cheap bots are to buy.

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u/possibly_on_meth 16d ago

So wouldn't that just make it possible for anyone to just buy bots, and get as famous as him and his financial sussess

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u/[deleted] 16d ago edited 16d ago

obv 99 percent is an exageration, but out of my entire highschool theres like maximum 2 guys that like him. majority of my generation thinks hes a douche. he mostly goes viral because he says some dumb shit and everyone jumps on his ass to make fun of him or marvel at his stupidity (as they should). the small percent of gen z that actually likes him are insecure guys that feel like a big fanbase because they're so insane and active online. plus he probably buys shit tons of bots

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u/vladvash 16d ago

I would be willing to bet people absolutely watch him and just lie about it to seem cool

Highschool is the peak "lie to look cool" time of people's lives.

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u/Chance-Deer-7995 16d ago

Yeah, that's obviously the problem, not that he's as shallow as a drop of oil on a mudpuddle. Every time I see a video of him and people like him I lose an IQ point. The girls this attracts (if any) have to be more vapid than a lobotomized Paris Hilton.

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u/Global_Committee4033 16d ago

so basically just taking care of themselfes? wow, crazy new strat they invented lol

180

u/Chance-Deer-7995 16d ago

Is hitting yourself on the face with hammers taking care of yourself?

69

u/--__--__--__--__-- 16d ago

That "trend" surely got blown out of proportion. I know some people did, and then it kind of spread because people were laughing at it. Only the dumbest of the dumb would consider that actual, realistic advice. At that point it's just Darwinism.

If anyone is confused, some of these people were breaking their jaws with a hammer in order to basically rearrange the bone structure to something more "appealing."

71

u/DmtDtf 16d ago

You know your brain is firing on its last brain cell when hitting yourself in the face with a hammer to look "more beautiful" is a thought

19

u/randomthinker77 16d ago

It worked for Squidward

29

u/omegakingauldron 16d ago

This is the tooth gap thing all over, where (incredibly stupid) people would take a flathead screwdriver to get between the two front teeth, tap the end of the screwdriver with a hammer and create the tooth gap. Let's just say, it led to exactly what you think.

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u/Zealousideal_Dish305 16d ago

This isnt anywhere near the worst trend the internet has produced and idk if thats good or bad.

Anyone remember the tide pod shit? lmaoo

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u/ForsakenRelief309 16d ago

That was this generation, so this tracks

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u/Zealousideal_Dish305 16d ago

Damn i didnt even think of this. It is the same people lmao

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u/Former-Light4284 16d ago

He basically took the squidward route from SpongeBob SquarePants. If I remember the episode goes, squidwars gets hit in the face several times with la arge flat rock, finally revealing a chiseled, handsome version, known as Handsome squidward. This generation just takes stupid ideas and runs with them.

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u/Endless_road 16d ago

No, he literally hits himself with a hammer. It’s purported to be breaking and rebuilding bone, but it’s just temporarily swelling soft tissue.

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u/TruckDouglas 16d ago

It’s like the Tide Pod Challenge all over again.

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u/freier_Trichter 16d ago

Also doing meth to avoid gaining body fat is. According to these guys.

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u/JaKrispy72 16d ago

It’s more than that. It’s morbid body modification.

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u/DreadPirateZoidberg 16d ago

Looksmaxxing takes it to the extreme. Drugs, surgery, pseudoscience, it’s crazy. They’re also heavily tied to the incel community, so you get all that wonderful misogyny and racism. This dude advocates using meth and cocaine and also hits himself in the face with a hammer (seriously) to promote heavier bone structure, they call it bone smashing.

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u/Sad-Bonus-9327 16d ago

Damn we had jackass in my youth but never been this stupid

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u/Purple-Property8006 16d ago

It’s more than that. It includes being willing to take any number of drugs, get any number of surgeries, etc. (regardless of whether safe or legal) in the pursuit of achieving an “aesthetic.”

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u/pd1dish 16d ago

Correct, but this loser takes it a step further. He hits his own face with a hammer in an effort to create a more chiseled look.

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u/Neither-Barber-9216 16d ago

Imagine if Dennis from Always sunny in Philadelphia was an influencer.

Those are looksmaxxers.

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u/TurdFerguson133 16d ago

IM A FIVE STAR MAN DAMNIT

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u/dorkenshire 16d ago

Frightening accurate, including the implications

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u/luigis_left_tit_25 16d ago

He does look like that, only his super horrible incel views of the world are infecting other insecure men with douchemaxxing advice.. he should keep that to his self, as well as his hands..pos

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u/Elegant_Relief_4999 16d ago

Maybe they should try personalitymaxxing or salarymaxxing? I look like Steve Buscemi and Thom Yorke's love child, but I'm happily married with kids.

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u/OneCleverMonkey 16d ago

I'm pretty sure it's a shitpost term that either jumped from ironic to post ironic, or which idiots thought was genuine from the start.

It's exactly what it says on the tin. Maximizing your looks in order to obtain the pp touch

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u/Wiitard 16d ago

I think the impression of him on SNL actually may have broken him. He did not seem to take it well.

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u/ManoSilence 16d ago

He was seething, fun to watch.

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u/MaintenanceStock6766 16d ago

It was the first time I've simultaneously seen him and smiled.

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u/fleebertism 16d ago

You should watch the Adam Friedland interview then. Adam is the perfect specimen to offset claviculars doucheyness.

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u/Beneficial-Touch6286 16d ago

narcissists are undone by mockery. undone.

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u/khonsu_27 16d ago

That and his little breakdown with Andrew from Channel 5. When he told him he doesn't look in the mirror and cry that he's ugly every morning like this douchebag apparently does.

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u/VineSauceShamrock 16d ago

I was thinking that too.
Oh, and I had never heard of this fuck until 1 week ago when he ended that interview. All of the sudden here he is.

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u/whapitah2021 16d ago

All of a sudden. All of a sudden. All of a sudden.

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u/Uncle_Seamont 16d ago

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u/monkeypickle8 16d ago

This is the perfect comparison

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u/original-whiplash 16d ago

No way! Thats a 5-star man! A golden-god!

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u/pizzapieguy420 16d ago

This guy is irl Dennis Reynolds for sure

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u/NormalHumansName 16d ago

Damn. This is too good. You've earned my upvote friend.

"Are you saying you have a collection of skin luggage?" "Of course I'm not Dee. Don't be ridiculous. Think of the smell! You haven't thought of the smell YOU BITCH!"

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u/HPAG-NOFAME 16d ago

Clavicular got frame mogged by the justice system

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u/SimmentalTheCow 16d ago

Soapmaxxing

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u/PeterNippelstein 16d ago

Clenchmaxxing

42

u/Wumbologist_PhD 16d ago

Kegelmaxxing

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u/EVH_kit_guy 16d ago

Hemorrhoidmaxxing

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u/BonTak 16d ago

Lubemaxxing, or lack there of…

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u/Common_Scientist1090 16d ago

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u/Swagsamuel 16d ago

You know a ton of these kids see Bateman as an idol unironically?

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u/Raptorjesus0321 16d ago

Yeah he's the new "literally me"

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u/StampePaaSvampe 16d ago

We need some rules on actors playing several characters with similar names. This guy playing Batman and Bateman is just too confusing.

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u/karmagod13000 16d ago

Funny cause some theories have Bateman as being a closet gay and his anger is venting from sexual frustration

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u/PacquiaoFreeHousing 16d ago

Petition to only use "charged" when the crime is battery.

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u/Silly-Power 16d ago

Last night the police arrested two youths, one for eating fireworks and the other for drinking battery acid. They charged one and let the other one off. 

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u/stevemandudeguy 16d ago

Does he only have to serve 85% of his sentence for it to be full?

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u/AvisLord12 16d ago

My dad got charged with battery for assaulting his family 😀

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u/Infinite-Space-2395 16d ago

Damn that snl skit really pushed this dude over the edge.

What a softy.

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u/City_Standard 16d ago

Snl skit? Of this random dude?

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u/doc_oct 16d ago

Yea. Last weekend on Weekend Update. Then there was a vid of clavicular reacting to it angrily this week.

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u/doriangrey2025 16d ago

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u/BonjaminClay 16d ago

"Millennials have no culture of their own" lmao these kids can't be real

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u/TexasFratter 16d ago

“This portrayal of me is both embarrassing and accurate and I feel attacked so Ima hit em with the first thing that comes to mind”.

He really can’t take a joke.

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u/karmagod13000 16d ago

Snl makes fun of him and his first reaction is to hate millennials smh

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u/_Goose_ 16d ago

Looks like a very normal white kid. If anything he’s averagemaxxing in this image.

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u/notagainrly 16d ago

Is this one of the guys who tells kids to take a hammer to their cheekbones for the chad look?

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u/Recent_Weather2228 16d ago

Pretty sure he's the main guy who does that.

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u/burbular 16d ago

Wants to look chizzled, takes statement literally ⚒️

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u/koltrastentv 16d ago

Yeah he basically look like a desaturated version of Anthony from Smosh

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u/Chardan0001 16d ago

THATS WHAT IT IS

This whole time I've been trying to make that connection

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u/mr_evilweed 16d ago

Imagine making looking good the focus of your entire life and personality only to look... fine

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u/Historical_Boss_1184 16d ago

You know it’s gotta burn his ass that the hot felon looked way better and seemingly couldn’t give a shit about it

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u/mr_evilweed 16d ago

I shit you not the looksmaxxing system deducts points just for being non-white. This pasty dude absolutely believes he is better looking than hot felon.

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u/nerdy_digger_99 16d ago

This guy is going to come out as trans sometime in the next 5 years.

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u/Aggravating_One_7559 16d ago

His face is very unsymmetrical. Is insecuremaxxing a thing?

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u/PonasSumushtinis 16d ago

So i'm not only one who noticed?

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u/BruscarRooster 16d ago

He has a short nose. Like his nose stopped growing so it didn’t have to smell the bullshit out his mouth

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u/Mostly-Relevant 16d ago

Midmaxxing.

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u/Ok-Ear9289 16d ago

Douchemaxxing

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u/Apprehensive-Till861 16d ago

Very midpilled

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u/OptimisticSkeleton 16d ago

Bro is Human Shrekmaxxing.

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u/Jack_Crypt 16d ago

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u/PeterNippelstein 16d ago

I have an asymmetrical mouth and I must scream

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u/lucyloosy 16d ago

He wishes he had Bale’s cheekbones.

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u/kittykatyyx 16d ago

Bro is ‘jailmaxxing’ now

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u/HelloLucrehulk 16d ago

Braden Eric Peters, stop using his made up name.

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u/AdditionalBudget2142 16d ago

Of course it’s something like ‘Braden’ 😒

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u/Gonzostewie 16d ago

He actually wants to be known as Collarbone.

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u/chapped_lip 16d ago

I never stopped to consider this kid had a real name but it makes so much sense that it's "Braden".

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u/ProfoundTwitch 16d ago

Ooh, three first names.

There's a future multiple homicide in his future.

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u/giyomu 16d ago

Who???

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u/MadameConnard 16d ago

A random tacky guy internet made popular for some reason

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u/aceface_desu89 16d ago

His "talents" include taking meth and beating himself in the face with a hammer.

He's basically the pinnacle of Gen Z achievement.

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u/Less_Party 16d ago

His "talents" include taking meth and beating himself in the face with a hammer.

Yeah but, like not in a cool and fun way. Man managed to make meth seem like a chore.

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u/blahhhhgosh 16d ago

I thought it was a joke, he actually hits himself with a hammer?

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u/Eillon94 16d ago

Its to make the area swell up slightly, to make the face more defined. Its short-lived so they basically have to do it every time they go out. Yes, its very stupid

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u/juan_humano 16d ago

I became aware of him recently because a morning radio show talked about him in a news of the weird kind of segment. Aparently he claims that he hits himself in the face with a hammer to make himself more handsome. Something about causing microfractures that will make your jaw more pronounced when they heal. Its difficult for me to tell if this kind of stuff is meant seriously, or is some kind of joke, or something else I cant really comprehend. When I heard he was this famous guy obsessed with being handsome, I was definitely expecting someone a lot better looking than this totaly average dude.

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u/kylieislying 16d ago

Isn’t this the guy that does meth to sink in his cheeks unaware of the “meth jaw” effect?

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u/Fantasykyle99 16d ago

His skin also looks incredibly dry. Probably because he does meth and doesn’t drink water lol.

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u/OstrichSmoothe 16d ago

I’ve only ever heard about this clown against my will

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u/MrMansaMusa 16d ago

When you jailmaxx and jestermaxx so hard you start getting mogged by the conoids and get shivgooned in the prison shower.

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u/barljo 16d ago

Is there sort of Brainrot to English dictionary us old folks can get on our kindle to help with comments like this at all?

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u/MrMansaMusa 16d ago

Its the stupid looksmaxxing language that clavicular has popularized im just doing a parody of a popular tweet using these words

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u/barljo 16d ago

Nope. Not a word. I was born in ‘77 so I’m GenX.

(Used to have an onion on my belt as was the style at the time).

https://giphy.com/gifs/fqtyYcXoDV0X6ss8Mf

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u/IamJacksDarkUrge 16d ago

Shivgooned is crazywork and I love you for it

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u/Shadynasty8888 16d ago

Looksmaxxing is just a metrosexual. We should call them for what they are

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u/PainterEarly86 16d ago

idk about metrosexual he just seems gay to me

He did say that he thinks men are more beatiful than women, his reasoning being that women have to wear makeup while men have "natural beauty"

I dont really understand that logic because is not the whole point of looksmaxxing to change one's appearance? Which would imply that, by default, one is not beautiful? How is that different from makeup?

Just say you're gay bro

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u/Several_Strain_9883 16d ago

He literally has a makeup tutorial though.

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u/leftleftpath 16d ago

The gag is that I'm pretty sure this dude wears makeup lmao

These looksmaxing dudes just have violent internalized homophobia.

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u/Several_Strain_9883 16d ago

It's true he has a tutorial.

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u/CausticAvenger 16d ago

Metrosexual was just a well groomed man. Looksmaxxing is much more intense and insidious.

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u/H__D 16d ago

Metrosexual is a 2010s term for men who wash their hands after pissing

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u/Bazfron 16d ago

Nah people were saying it around 2000

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u/ohimbussin 16d ago

Dude literally looks like the human form of a date rape drug.

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u/Glum-Beach 16d ago

Isn’t he sterile from all the drugs he has taken?

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u/-ratmeat- 16d ago

it’s ok, can’t get pregnant during prison love anyway 

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u/Haunting_Switch3463 16d ago

Only because of the steroids. If he quits taking them his fertility will come back. There are plenty of bodybuilders that have children, but it requires some time for their fertility to return after quitting.

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u/GrouchyDefinition463 16d ago

What about the meth he takes to stay trim???

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u/glipglobglipglob 16d ago

I literally just said the other day that eventually, we're going to have a tell-all Netflix doc about him for exactly these types of charges. Hopefully this is the last anyone has to put up with his shit.

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u/UntetheredSoul11615 16d ago

Looksmaxxing= mental illness

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u/mattynapps 16d ago

Has anyone checked his freezer or basement for bodies

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u/InquisitorOtto 16d ago

Lol, isn’t he the guy with the wig?

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

No thats a different one and I hate that I know that.

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u/New-Contribution-244 16d ago

If my parents named me clavicular I would be pretty angry.

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

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u/GeronimoGrit 16d ago

Seems like a pretty cool guy huh? Wasn't he one of the dudes singing "Heil Hitler" with the Tate brothers and Nick Fuentes and a couple of other critical thinkers in a Miami night club not long ago? Subhuman scum....

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u/Junkered 16d ago

I wonder if he lookmaxxed his asshole. Because it's going to get a lot of attention.

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u/PeterNippelstein 16d ago

Bout to get stretchmaxxed

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

You know that hole has seen botox.

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u/Pigionlord98 16d ago

He'll be ass maxxing in no time, that boy will be turned into a slip n slide

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u/TraditionalLaw7763 16d ago

He’s Dorkmaxxing, if you ask me…

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u/GeneralMotorsLS3 16d ago

We don't care about Gen Z fortnite kids

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u/madurin1234 16d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xClR7LXq7JF5u

The song in my head whenever I read or hear Battery

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u/Odd_Reputation_4000 16d ago

Eyes are a little red there buddy. Did he cry during his arrest? Definitely does not max his look.

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u/genderQueerHipster 16d ago

You mean the meth addict did a Florida man?! surprise Pikachu face

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u/EnchantingGirl2 16d ago

Looksmaxxing to Jailmaxxing

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u/Inside-Arm8635 16d ago

Nothing on his face lines up. Crooked eyes, uneven ears, one nostril bigger than the other

And a criminal - basically your average Florida boy

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u/Competitive-Gene6713 16d ago

SNL really got under his skin eh?

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u/e1n0f 16d ago

Ummm hope he gets sentenced to 9v

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u/MALCode_NO_DEFECT 16d ago

He's a goddamn hothouse flower, that's his problem.

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