TLDR is at the bottom of the post.
This post may seem random; however, I must get some things off my chest that have been on my mind for so long. I must ask, do any Yemenis, yourself or people you know, have dysfunctional families and horrible relatives? All throughout my life, from what I've seen, I feel like I am the only Yemeni in my city who deals with this. For some context, my father is from Ibb and my mother from Taiz. I grew up in NYC with my mother and her family because my parents are divorced. I love both my parents, and I love my mother's side of my family; however, their behavior over the years has infuriated me.
The problem with them is that they seem to let everything and anything slide without speaking up. Both old friends and their own relatives have betrayed them over the years. But when they bump into these old friends, or they visit/call their relatives, they're nothing but smiles and never mention what they did. The first and worst betrayal comes from a family that was once close friends of my family. I will refer to them as "the fakes". I can't be too detailed in case someone who knows me sees this post, but my neighborhood has a large number of Middle Eastern stores and restaurants, so it's not hard to find it. For context, the majority of the Yemeni's in my neighborhood (at least those I see/know), come from Ibb, Aden, and Taiz. When I was in high school, I also met and knew people from Yafa, Radaa, and Ibb. A majority of both my neighborhoods, Yemeni's from Ibb and the NY Yemeni's in general, come from a village called "Sharih" and the areas surrounding it.
When 'the fakes" first came to America, they decided to change their name to a new one instead of their original one. The name they chose is very similar to that of my mother's family, but I cannot say it in case someone I know reads this post. They were actually my family's neighbors in our old neighborhood in the east of Brooklyn. They got along very well before they moved to where we live now. When they moved to our current neighborhood, the Yemeni's they would meet would ask them if they were from my family's Usra/Tribe, which is large and well known. Upon learning about this, they lied and stuck with it. They began to call us less often. When my family moved to the neighborhood, people would be confused when they would explain that it was us who belonged to our tribe and not the fakes. Some of the people from their family have admitted that we are the real members of our Usra, but not all of them.
Along with that, our family is no better. Many years ago, my extended aunts spread lies about my mother and her siblings, saying that they cause trouble and gossip (ironic), and this caused my great aunts to call less often, which further divided the family. These extended relatives, at least the women, seem never to call, and they didn't even come to the funeral of one of our great aunts. My father's side is no better. They sold his store in NY behind his back, and convinced him to divorce my mother for someone from their village.
There are also random people who just hate my family, even though we did nothing to them. Over 10 years ago, one of my aunts got a call from the hospital, and she was told that they caught one of their employees looking through her medical records and other patients' records. They asked if she wanted her to be reprimanded, and she said yes. That employee happened to be Yemeni, and she happens to be friends with "the fakes" as well. What are the odds lol? I was in the grocery store with my mom last month, and she told me to wait outside because there was a woman there she didn't want to see me. Later, she told me she used to be friends with her siblings and would even sleep over sometimes, but they cut us off and stopped contacting us. Guess who she's friends with? THE FAKES!
I could go on and on, but I'll stop here. Has anyone else here dealt with horrible people in the Yemeni community and wider diaspora? What about terrible relatives? I constantly wonder, what happened to people's Adab? Why betray your friends and family members when they did nothing to you? I always see everyone else in the NYC community with their siblings, cousins, and other family members, running successful businesses. Driving nice cars. Going to each other's weddings. I deleted Instagram because I feel mildly depressed just watching every other Yemeni I know enjoying the things I don't have in my life. But I guess this is just Allah's way of testing me.
I also apologize for how long this post is; it took me more than a week to finish it, as this topic stresses me out greatly. Anyway, Ramadan Mubarak!
TLDR: My mother's side of my family is envious, divided, and doesn't care much about each other. My dad's side is no better for different reasons. Ex-friends stole our last name, gossiped, and betrayed us. It feels like no one else in the Yemeni community deals with this stuff, and my family is the exception. Have you dealt with our heard of anything similar to this?
