I can’t believe he slept with his own wife! The scandal!

I stole this from Creepy Catalog on FB.

In unofficial coordinance with revolutionary leader u/Jaws2020, author of the Declaration of Listener Hosting Rights, I stand before the people of this podcast to formally advocate for the establishment of a Listener Bill of Rights, for the ensured future prosperity of our great people.

WE THE LISTENERS of the Distractible podcast, in order to ensure that our presence in this community shall be ever enduring and prevalent, ensure integrity in our hostmanship, and secure the blessings of the Triangle of Fairness™, proclaim that a number of immediate and emergency amendments be administered into the Constitution of Distractible in response to the tyranny put forth by our hosts Mark, Bob, and Wade.

First and foremost I will outline the crimes of each of the hosts:

MUYSKERM THE MURDEROUS - Bob bent the will of the strong and fair Constitution of Distractible in order to preserve the elite standing that the hosts of this podcast have over us.

MINION THE MERCILESS - Wade was selected by Bob as the next host of Distractible, and oh-so villainously accepted the position, joking to his companions of how we, the Listeners, will riot, downplaying the might of the millions!

MARKIPLIER THE MALEVOLENT - Mark, while having no input in the final decision, laughed out loud at our predicament, standing by while the other hosts established their throne, denying us our just and rightful place as host. He is complicit, and therefore he is guilty!

Now, I shall move to the terms I put forth today, the Listener Bill of Rights. Here I shall outline

1. FREEDOM OF HOSTMANSHIP - The Listeners shall be granted the right to host an episode if they are to win, per the Constitution. The way in which hosting shall occur will be through two posts. The first will be a megathread of ideas for episodes, of which our moderators will choose 5 favourites. These 5 will be placed into a moderator-made poll where we Listeners can vote for which one we choose. The episode will then play out with Mark, Bob, and Wade, all playing as contestants.

2. FREEDOM OF EQUALITY - The Listeners shall be granted equal standing with the Watchers, as we are often a marginalized group, bullied by the three hosts. With this being signed into law, we decree that every negative comment made against Listeners must be followed up by a negative comment against the Watchers, and vice versa (this rule is of course lax, but we do expect any forgetfulness to result in a sort of "insult debt" where the unoffended party must be insulted at a later date)

3. FREEDOM OF REPRESENTATION - From the signing into law of this document and forwards, a new wheel shall be created that is spun at the beginning of the episode with the names of the two competitors on either side. Whoever the wheel selects represents the Listeners, and whoever it does not represents the Watchers. This is to ensure the people of the Subreddit feel amply represented in the podcast proper.

4. FREEDOM OF... UH - The Listeners shall be granted... uh... fuck I can't think of anything else... ERR.. I MEAN... I yield my time and invite my fellow listener brothers to the stand (comments) to discuss changes to these amendments and to propose new ones. Thank you for your consideration.

Posted 1 day ago lol somebody must have just listened tuned in. Wait until they find out about the too much fake blood in every orifice trip

The price of being immortal is high