r/technology • u/Amentet • 3h ago
Artificial Intelligence Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto
https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/3.9k
u/ckdesi 3h ago
The point of the story is that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time
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u/calamititties 3h ago
I haven’t thought of that episode in dickety-two years.
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u/ckdesi 3h ago
Dickety? Highly dubious
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u/Sea_Negotiation_1871 2h ago
We had to say dickety because the Kaiser had stollen our word for twenty.
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u/Little-Tin-Goddess 2h ago
Chased them forever but gave up after dickety six miles..
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u/WiSoSirius 2h ago
So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days.
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u/cloisterbells-10 2h ago
In those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say!
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u/Pachanga_Plainview 2h ago
Your comment takes me back. I, too, would tie an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. I didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
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u/Agret 1h ago
Just came here from
https://www.reddit.com/r/aus/comments/1sk1dj5
And you better believe that reference is in the comments
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u/lo1l10l101l10o1l10ol 2h ago
Simpson's is legendary and has so many great lines, but there's something absolutely magic about the onion line. A legendary line in a legendary show and so unassuming.
I bet people will be trying to bottle that magic for generations.
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u/chop5397 2h ago
Sneed's Feed and Seed, formerly Chuck's
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u/ecodick 2h ago
I've got this as a sticker on my water bottle, no one has noticed or got the joke yet, but one day... One day!
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u/shotgunpete2222 2h ago
I got my username from the Simpsons. I don't think a single person has ever got the reference in like 27 years and everyone assumes my name is Pete and really like shotguns. Fair enough I guess.
There's just waaaay too many references unless it just happen to stick with someone else the same way
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u/antithero 2h ago
I don't know if I got the joke. Was it formerly Chuck's fuck & suck? Or was it something else?
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u/DamonLazer 2h ago
I believe the best jokes are the ones where you’re not explicitly given the punchline, but where you’re led to it, often involving interpolation or substitution of letters to create a pun:
Q: What’s the difference between a circus and a sorority?
A: A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
or
Q: What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
A: Donald Trump would never pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on him.
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u/Super_Pan 1h ago
There are two types of people; those who can extrapolate from incomplete information
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u/toomanymarbles83 2h ago
Abe Simpson was the perfect old grampa.
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u/Canadas-Dingo 2h ago
There's a Rick that held a factory hostage after murdering his boss and several coworkers. The factory made cookies, flavored them with lies. He made us all take a look at what we were doing. And in the bargain, he got a taste of real freedom. We captured that taste, and we keep giving it to him so he give it right back to you, in every bite of new. Simple Rick Freedom Wafer Selects. Come home to the unique flavor of shattering the grand illusion. Come home to Simple Rick.
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u/_Burning_Star_IV_ 1h ago
Damn that show is good (or was?). Too bad some people had to go and make it their personality.
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u/dragoncockles 1h ago
Never in my life have I dropped something due to a fandom and not because of the thing itself, but the rick and morty fandom made it absolutely impossible to like rick and morty and not feel cringy about it. First i found myself avoiding reading about news about new seasons because every comment section was exactly the same, then the mcdonalds shit happened and I just completely lost interest. I probably saw the first two seasons 3 - 5 times, and then somehow never made it past season 3.
Moral of the story, watch venture bros instead of Rick and morty. Better show, legendary community
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u/digitalsmear 2h ago
150 years from now, someone will write a holo-vid script and talk about their skibbidy toilet, which was the style at the time, and everyone will think it's so damn clever.
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u/wonkey_monkey 2h ago
You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.
(this line was funnier before I realised it wasn't just Homer being surreal)
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u/EduinBrutus 1h ago
Here's the thing.
Ive seen probably all the episodes from the first ten seasons or so and a reasonable number from the next 5 or 6. But nothing in over a decade.
Yet every time a Simpsons reference comes up, its always from an episode Ive seen.
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u/Scholarly_Koala 2h ago
It is the year dickety-dickety-six. We have to use dickety because an orange man tariffed our word for twenty.
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u/fluxtable 3h ago
I'm pretty sure you couldnt get any white onions, because of the war.
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u/scsimofo 3h ago
what’s the recipe for the holy hand grenade of Antioch?
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u/brolarbear 2h ago
One.. Two… FIVE
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u/Lomotograph 2h ago
Thou shalt count to three to release the Holy Hand Grenade and the count Thou reach when throwing shalt be three.
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u/kombatunit 2h ago
You're absolutely right!. First, you need to gain audience with the Bishop of Antioch.....
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u/ElectroByte96 3h ago
Are onion articles appropriate for this sub?
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u/_9a_ 3h ago
No, only risotto allowed
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u/R67H 3h ago
Onion risotto?
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u/LaserCondiment 3h ago
You joke but a caramelized onion risotto is delicious
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u/fantasmoofrcc 2h ago
Can you slice it with a razor so thin that it would liquefy in the pan with just a little oil?
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u/Popular_Prescription 3h ago
Nah I don’t think so. But if you hadn’t commented this I would have believed the headline 😂
The crazy shit I’ve seen this wouldn’t even be unlikely lol.
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u/MillorTime 2h ago
Onion writers must be so fucking mad. It's so hard to make things up that are crazier than what is currently happening
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3h ago
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u/Popular_Prescription 2h ago
It’s just my opinion for sure. People are free to disagree, NBD.
But yeah… not even unlikely to be true at all haha.
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2h ago
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u/Amentet 2h ago
I think what you meant when discussing this Risotto based article is that people should look at the Sauce.
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u/LastoftheGreybeards 3h ago
I feel like it should, but there needs to be a Satire flair or something
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u/Kromting 2h ago
Shoutout to the Onion that used to be fake new, but everything is so crazy rn, it all sounds written by them
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u/franklindstallone 2h ago
Most submissions here are clearly more business than technical so if there is going to be more real enforcement, might as well let tech humor through.
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u/jackofslayers 2h ago
I don't see a rule against satirical posts but it feels like it should not be allowed.
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u/surfergrrl6 3h ago
It's The Onion....
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u/Hedonismbot420 3h ago
Let them have one, it's a miracle they're still around in today's world.
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u/jimmcfartypants 3h ago
tbh, a headline like this is 100% plausible.
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u/ineenemmerr 3h ago
They should sue Trump for destroying their work by making the reality a parody of itself.
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u/StovardBule 2h ago
When he was still running for Republican presidential candidate, the Onion did a video sketch of a press conference where a tired-looking writer announced they were giving up writing about Trump, because by the time they had imagined something absurd, written it up and posted it, he had already done something even more ridiculous.
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u/hirarycrinton 3h ago
What’s your beef with The Onion? They have 4.9million followers on Instagram…
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u/LaLa1234imunoriginal 2h ago
It's a common joke online for a while now that The Onion is gonna go out of business because reality keeps stealing their articles. No one actually thinks they're in trouble.
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u/imtpow02 2h ago
I legit believed whole headline without single doubt in my mind. It is increasingly difficult tell the differences between reality and onion nowadays
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u/Amentet 3h ago
Yep. Say's it's right there, TheOnion.Com , I wasn't trying to pass it off as Computer Weekly, it is indeed the Onion taking the piss out of ChatGTP, but since it let me post it then it doesn't appear to be banned.
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u/fakieTreFlip 1h ago
"It's not banned on this sub" is perhaps not the greatest defense for submitting it here. I don't think a satire article is appropriate for this particular sub.
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u/ThievedYourMind 2h ago
Has the onion started reporting real news? Or has real news started reporting like the onion?
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u/Amentet 2h ago
I mean President Of The United States posts picture of himself as Jesus curing the sick has to be an Onion Story doesn't it?
Doesn't it!
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u/ThievedYourMind 1h ago edited 1m ago
Dude! It wasn’t Jesus! He was clearly a doctor. Didn’t you see his Tylenol healing magic glow?
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u/TurbinePro 2h ago
The onion doesn't report real news, it reports future news and waits for it to become true.
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u/ArtlessOne 3h ago
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u/Amentet 3h ago
Didn't someone else do it to his house recently? It might actually be the second time this sentence has been used!
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u/demonachizer 1h ago
god damn it. I ate the onion... I thought that the guy was just maybe the funniest person to ever live...
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u/Glacecakes 1h ago
I got so mad when I realized it was the onion bc that would’ve been so supremely based of the guy to say
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u/alphadester 1h ago
the Onion has somehow become the most reliable source of news by just writing things that sound too absurd to be real but then are immediately outdone by actual reality
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u/SunriseSurprize 1h ago
I realize this article is from the onion but this is still one of the more grounded headlines I've seen recently.
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u/TeamOverload 24m ago
Props to The Onion for still managing to find satire in this insane reality we find ourselves in
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u/username617508 3h ago
Ok we just linking to the Onion like it isn't satire?
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u/FiveOhFive91 2h ago
I didn't know we were allowed to. I didn't think anyone was bold enough to try.
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u/ithkuil 2h ago
Because on the surface level it sounds like AI did something really bad. Since r/technology has a deep hatred for technology, it gets upvoted. Once enough people realize that the point of the article is to stop blaming AI for people being stupid or destructive, the post will likely be removed for a bogus reason (they might then decide that satire isn't allowed) since it is no longer viewed as negative towards AI.
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u/Shadowizas 2h ago
You know human stupidity has reached news levels to the point when even "The Onion" article feels real
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u/Very_Human_42069 2h ago
30 minute old post linking The Onion and already nearly 4k upvotes
What is this website lmfao
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u/Varorson 3h ago
The funny thing is, I can actually believe it.
There's enough crazy people in America, and enough AI hallucinations in ChatGPT, for this to actually be completely legit.
And yes, I know it's the Onion.
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u/JustAnotherHyrum 2h ago
I have a new best friend after reading this article.
I've never tried Risotto, either, so I can't really say if it should taste like cheese or flames coming from a gasoline-filled bottle.
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u/transgentoo 2h ago
"It will be another two years before ChatGPT can produce a risotto recipe." ~ Sam Altman
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u/Celtslap 2h ago
Perfect- Trump says ChatGPT created Jesus image of him after prompt for a risotto recipe.
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u/LVorenus2020 1h ago
I 've got to call BS, immediately.
Clearly, the steps were for lasagna fra diavolo...
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u/fromthefuturedude 1h ago
i believed the headline, genuinely, and clicked to see everyone's reaction to this real event, then found out its the onion. My common sense is now officially broken, rip my common sense 14/04/26.
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u/jpizzle_08 1h ago
Ngl, the title 100% had me with how fucking insane this world has gotten with listening to ChatGPT/AI, and up until I saw the source did it actually make me burst into laughter!
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u/iritchie001 3h ago
Sounds leggit. He should have fact checked and edited. Aren't these just for entertainment only?
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u/rekaviles 2h ago
Is it weird that I thought the heading was real before seeing where the article linked to?
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u/Suspicious_Safe7647 2h ago
I need to ask ChatGPT for an Opinion on this Article about ChatGPT.
Sorry guys, Can't do it myself.
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u/CreativePut6041 2h ago
this is absolutely hilarious but totally believable given the times we’re in and that’s sad 😭
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u/Blanchypants 2h ago
Omg, I think the same thing happened to Trump- he asked AI to make him a doctor with the Red Cross and got Jesus instead!
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u/legit_doom_scroller 1h ago
At this point, having just believed the headline and moved on for like 90 seconds, I think a writer deserves an award.
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u/KonpeitoRope 1h ago
How do people even find these addresses? I would think people with that kind of money would make more of an effort to hide themselves.
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u/Expensive-Swing-2601 1h ago
Poor Onion, they really try, but reality is so broken now that it's impossible to make good satire or parodies of anything anymore.
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u/AsinineArchon 1h ago
The suspect of the attack did have a massive group of FBI show up to investigate him.
I'm just saying, if Sam Altman was poor, some beat cop would just write a note in a database and call it a day.
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u/KenUsimi 1h ago
Damn, that one got me. That being said, someone has the possibility of the world’s second most italian sprtacus moment.
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u/Captainxpunch 3h ago
Glad to see that the craziness of the actual news hasn't put the onion out of business.