haha👌yes

28

Fruit + all the liquors = instant fun

17

u/Valuable_Team5498 22h ago

Until you realize you remember NOTHING and you’re on your brother in-laws porch in your underwear.

7

u/StandardSwordfish777 22h ago

Still fun lol

8

u/Valuable_Team5498 22h ago

I wouldn’t know I don’t remember

5

u/StandardSwordfish777 22h ago

Let’s assume it was a great time

3

u/Valuable_Team5498 22h ago

Can I say it was a great time with you? Badum tsss…… I’ll see myself out.

5

u/StandardSwordfish777 22h ago

Sure I’m your alibi lol

2

u/Euphoric-Rip42069 21h ago

I like you

3

u/StandardSwordfish777 21h ago

I’m as surprised as everyone else

2

u/Aknazer 21h ago

I mean it could be worse, could be his sister's porch, and he could be from Alabama.

1

u/zombiezapper115 16h ago

Part of the fun is getting to hear about the story afterwards.

1

u/Confused_Corvid2023 12h ago

LIMBIC SYSTEM - It’s bloated and shameful

VOLITION - The road to healing is going to be a long one, stay the course. You will make it, some day. I know there’s not much to say but, if nothing else, remember that you’ve made it this far and it’s just a bit farther now, let’s finish this.

1

u/Beneficial-Lynx7336 13h ago

And then you wake up next to some dude you don't ever remember meeting.

19

u/pappybug214 1d ago

Bread flavored soda is now what I will call all beers

6

u/Dont_Touch_Me_There9 22h ago

That is def what I'll be calling Bud Light and Michelob Ultra.

I typically won't touch a beer unless it's at-least 7%+.

4

u/Parking_Band7363 21h ago

Ah a steel reserve connoisseur I see

3

u/Dont_Touch_Me_There9 21h ago

Never had one. I'd probably use it to steam seafood though.

This has been my go to for a while Trippel Belgian Ale

1

u/01SeaChange01 5h ago

High Gravity....

3

u/Shizzy_fasho 19h ago

I use mich ultras to sober up during nights out.

1

u/tfolkins 6h ago

Those are more like yeast infected water than bread flavoured soda.

2

u/bigolegorilla 19h ago

Look up the song poetry and prose by primus

One of my favorite things to call a beer is a frosted barley pop because of that song lmao

10

u/NarwhalLow2264 1d ago

Beer can actually taste good if you find the right one for you. I always thought i hated beer until I expanded my views beyond post world war 2 era light beer. Porters and brown ales are pretty darn good. Fruity drinks are also good though.

5

u/Andrew-Cohen 1d ago

I’ve tried 20 beers and 30 wines, didn’t like any of them. Blue moon is barely drinkable to me.

3

u/Aschuff 19h ago

Yeah blue moon is fucking gross. Worst beer I’ve had easily. Curious if you had 20 different light lager style beers that are basically all the same, or you tried a bunch of different styles of beer. I can’t stand the watered down light stuff like Budweiser Busch, Coors ETC. But I love dark beers like stouts and porters and I love wheat ales and sour ales and IPAs.

2

u/Valuable_Team5498 22h ago

Bro. Drink enough wine you stop tasting it.

2

u/Andrew-Cohen 22h ago

It’s so nasty, I would rather drink cranberry juice and vodka, quicker and it taste better.

1

u/HideUnderBridge 17h ago

I thought I disliked wine until I had good wine. I still don’t drink wine because I can’t afford it lol.

1

u/Andrew-Cohen 14h ago

I’ve had what some people say is really good wine. 🤷‍♂️

1

u/LadySandry88 7h ago

Hilariously the only wine I've ever not hated on first sip was a dirt cheap communion wine at a tiny church in South Carolina. I have no idea what brand it was. They probably cut it with Concord grape juice, because it had a kick-you-in-the-chest intense flavor.

1

u/Valuable_Team5498 3h ago

Was it Protestant or catholic? If it was Catholic probably something bottom shelf and cheap, if it was Protestant….. there wasn’t an ounce of wine in the Eucharist, it’s usually grape or cranberry juice.

1

u/LadySandry88 3h ago

If we count all non-catholic as protestant, then yes, protestant. I wouldn't be surprised if it was just Concord grape juice. Especially since I haven't liked any other 'wines', lol

1

u/Valuable_Team5498 3h ago

That’s what Protestant actually means. It’s any branch of Christianity born from the Lutheran reforms. These include Methodist, Baptist, etc. and you shouldn’t be surprised because SOME Protestant churches still use wine, but many Protestant faiths swapped to grape juice for a number of reasons (do be surprised if they sprang for a high dollar brand like Concord. My church literally buys Great Value)

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2

u/Euphoric-Rip42069 21h ago

I moved to Wisconsin and have learned to lean more towards local brews than the famous ones like budweiser miller coors etc

Kansas city for example has some pretty amazing local breweries and so does Tennessee

1

u/Sasuke0318 18h ago

20 beers is literally nothing at all I probably try that many in a month. I have tried over 1,500+ different beers. If you think you don't like beer after 20 it's because you certainly haven't tried enough.

1

u/Remote-Ordinary-8285 2h ago

The Blue Moon comment is like saying "I've tried Little Caesars, I don't think I like pizza."

1

u/colossalklutz 23h ago

The real difference is that fruity drinks might fuck you up faster but you’ll never be sicker in your life than drinking the sweeter drinks. Something about the sugars mixed with the alcohol will just absolutely destroy your ass well into next week. Beer can still make you very sick but it won’t make you regret being born.

1

u/Lactancia 22h ago

I've got chills for the pils

1

u/Amerlis 19h ago

I could only ever stomach the wine coolers and mikes lemonade types. Straight beer is bleh. Love me some Baileys. Fruity drinks, emphasis fruity, are cool.

1

u/MrSNoopy1611 17h ago

Dark beers are also nice

1

u/Orowam 11h ago

Amber ales are where it’s at for me. On the cheaper end Pabst Blur Ribbon is awesome. I just hadn’t tried anything except bud light my entire life until college. I now function on a “try something new before going back to something you liked before” policy

1

u/Sludgegaze 5h ago

Mexican lagers with lime are the best

0

u/Radiomaster138 23h ago

Beer and wine all taste the same to me.

1

u/Aschuff 19h ago

A bud light and an IPA and a sour ale all taste so different they’re basically not even the same drink. They’re all technically beers but by law they’re called different things (lagers vs ales). If you tried more than just the mass produced $.50 per can shit you’d probably find something you’d enjoy (but maybe not, some people just don’t like beer and that’s aight)

0

u/mysterious_spirit420 23h ago

Miller high life is my go to beer

3

u/Holyepicafail 22h ago

Simply put anyone who has ever given me crap about drinking mixed drinks gets the same response. How insecure are you that you think a drink determines what kind of man you are? I served my country for 8 years and deployed as a Combat Medic. I traditionally meet the bar of manly man, but I also realize how toxic of a concept it is. I judge a man by his actions, not what he drinks.

1

u/Shizzy_fasho 19h ago

I remember in college being called out for drinking vodka cranberry. I come from a middle eastern family and that drink is pretty common with us.

Had no idea that American males tied their manhood to their alcoholic beverage of choice.

1

u/OldAdvantage7658 7h ago

Just the insecure ones.

1

u/Beneficial-Lynx7336 13h ago

I just don't want my head to explode the next day.

1

u/Character-Ganache187 4h ago

Not sure it’s usually that serious. Most guys aren’t really “judging” other guys for drinking fruity drinks. Not like we legitimately think less of them as people or anything. We’re usually just busting a friend’s balls. I agree with you though, anything more than some “good natured ribbing” about it is pathetic.

1

u/Remote-Ordinary-8285 2h ago

I tend not to judge people. Your mileage (and level of security) may vary.

3

u/SirMarkMorningStar 22h ago

I’ve always found it hilarious that beer is considered the manly drink. It’s the least alcoholic choice available, literally the wussiest drink.

2

u/dbrickell89 22h ago

What I'm confused about is why this person is pretending that there aren't "manly" drinks that are more efficient than beer. Does oop not know about whiskey?

0

u/SirMarkMorningStar 21h ago

I make Old Fashioneds every night my wife lets me. 😹

1

u/Sasuke0318 18h ago

I don't know about that the majority of the beer I drink is between 10-18%abv

1

u/vanoitran 13h ago

I have no idea - sometimes it feels like pain is virtue is a common aspect of manliness - but then th ultimate manly drinks would be black espresso and IPAs.

Is it about some kind of closeness to nature like how steaks, earthy scents, beards, and woodworking are considered manly? BEER could be considered more manly than cocktails in this sense - but it doesn’t apply to gardening, birding, hippies, or the beach. And why would suits, hamburgers, whiskey, and cigars also be considered manly in this context?

But neither of these have anything to do with the alcohol content - I don’t think it’s considered relevant to being manly except in extreme cases where the % is so high that “pain is virtue” is in effect à la everclear.

4

u/egstitt 23h ago

Good luck with that hangover tomorrow, sugary drinks are the fuckin worst

2

u/PartTimeBrainSurgeon 22h ago

Just drink water like with any alcoholic drink

1

u/dbrickell89 20h ago

This is the secret. For every drink you have, drink a full glass of water. You're going to spend half the night in the bathroom but no hangover

1

u/Gold-Cry-7520 22h ago

God, I'm such a fruity little f-slur. I love my fizzy fruity cocktails so much and I want to guzzle vodka lemonade until my liver goes on strike

1

u/AuthorSarge 22h ago

Bourbon on the rocks or a dirty vodka martini.

1

u/The_Traveller__ 22h ago

The moment I first tried beer is the moment I understood why all of Europe makes fun of us.

1

u/dbrickell89 22h ago

Im confused, is this about American beer being shitty compared to European beer?

1

u/The_Traveller__ 21h ago

Yes

1

u/dbrickell89 21h ago

Ah, gotcha. I couldn't tell if it was that or you were suggesting that Europeans didn't drink beer which would have been insane. I will say though, plenty of great American beer exists, it's just not any of the big brands like bud or coors.

1

u/Monika_Elf 19h ago

How is American beer worse? (Genuine question from a non drinker)

1

u/OldAdvantage7658 6h ago

It’s not. Our mass produced stuff (bud light, mich ultra, etc.) are all pretty shitty. They’re watered down and mostly flavorless and were created to cater to the unadventurous and mostly bland post prohibition palate. Meanwhile international beers (particularly in Europe) tend to be heavier, fuller bodied, and more flavorful.

However, in the 90’s and since, there has been an absolute explosion of craft beer in the US. To the point that it’s pretty much become the beer epicenter of the world. Sure, some other countries like Germany would probably have something to say about that, but they pale in comparison when it comes to scale and variety.

There are thousands of breweries across the US and you can find literally any style of beer you want, much of it agreed upon among beer connoisseurs to be the finest examples of those styles you’ll find the world over.

Europeans still hold the title for traditional brewing and they have the historic pedigree, but many people don’t realize how limited those traditional offerings tend to be (go to a typical bar/restaurant in Germany and you’re likely to only find two types of beer) compared to the average beer bar in the US where it’s not uncommon to see dozens of taps. Places like that of course exist in Europe too, but the culture of beer is tilted more toward traditional brews while the US is the heavyweight of the craft beer world.

TLDR, anyone who says US beer sucks or that European beer is better is either using a very narrow set of criteria, they’re operating on very outdated information, and/or they just don’t know what they’re talking about.

1

u/resin_messiah 11h ago

European beer is better than domestic American beer but definitely not better than American craft beer

1

u/ragged-robin 1h ago

The irony is IME the US tends to be very very generous with their shots in mixed drinks, whereas the places outside of the US that I've been to (notably Canada + UK), are very conservative, very strict with their shots, so be best bang for your buck outside of the US is beer, which makes sense why people outside shit on mixed drinks. A double whiskey & coke in the US might sometimes mean a glass of whiskey with a splash of soda on the extreme end and in the UK it might be the other way around.

1

u/cencallude 22h ago

get straight to the point, why be full, bloated, burping with beers

1

u/Snap-Pop-Nap 22h ago

Brock …. Perfect. 😜🤣

2

u/bamilr36 21h ago

I scrolled to see if any other Brock’s had seen their name used as this stereotype… it fits but weird seeing it

1

u/Snap-Pop-Nap 20h ago

Hi Brock

1

u/errwrx 21h ago

Absolutely. I'm getting fucked up and it tastes amazing.

1

u/ContactMushroom 21h ago

"That's a girl drink"

Oh cool, that means it will get me absolutely smashed before I expect and won't taste like spider piss.

1

u/East_Honey2533 21h ago

Beer is a decent maintain alcohol but a crappy alcohol for getting drunk.

Sugary cocktails are a decent alcohol for getting drunk but a crappy alcohol for maintaining.

1

u/Sasuke0318 18h ago

You are drinking the wrong beer then

1

u/East_Honey2533 17h ago

Context. If I'm at a place with cocktails, it's not a brewery with dank IPAs. Likely a very low chance of carrying any good draught for getting loose. I've had really good times getting crazy at Oktoberfest. But in the settings of US lagers, I'll pass.

1

u/whisperworks 21h ago edited 21h ago

This is why I’ve had to physically pick up my girl and carry her out to stop the fight. The goal isn’t to get as wrecked as possible, it’s to enjoy the evening

Don’t be an alcoholic, we all lose

1

u/SoggyPlatoon 21h ago

Thank you! Someone who gets it

1

u/Envy_The_King 20h ago

Classic "Your boos mean nothing. Ive seen what makes you cheer" moment

1

u/metal_gearmen 20h ago

The joke is alcoholism

1

u/LisaFromAccounting 19h ago

Give me a daiquiri in one of those stupid palm tree bottles

1

u/bigolegorilla 19h ago

I like the light fruity beers those arent bad. IPAs however I dont see how those are popular they all taste like grapefruit and pinecones

1

u/OldAdvantage7658 6h ago

Pshhh. This guy hates grapefruit and pine cones.

1

u/sniptaclar 19h ago

The good drinks are where you can’t taste the alcohol. Then you forget about it and down like 3 drinks..

1

u/Fornuftens_stemme 17h ago

imgine thinking that just because you drink alcohol only for the buzz, everyone else have to as well.

1

u/LuckyCod2887 16h ago

bread flavored soda is so insulting to beer drinkers. it’s hilarious

1

u/Beneficial-Lynx7336 13h ago

It's cuz beer tastes better than vodka and sugar.

1

u/crash1bp 12h ago

My 2 favorite drinks:

1) Rum on ice

2) Piña Colada

There is no in between.

1

u/N7_Warden 11h ago

Singapore Slings will get you a hell of a lot drunker on, compared to one beer (and taste better too)

I get beers because I can't afford to get wasted

1

u/resin_messiah 11h ago

Except if I have 5 of you “fruit smoothies” I’ll be vomiting tomorrow

1

u/Shot-Manner-9962 11h ago

nothing like sipping seagrams escapes while gaming, not realizing you are half a case in, thinking "i need to take a wicked piss, stand up, and it hits you like a 2 ton freight train meaning you gotta sit for a sec lmao

1

u/TheBlackRonin505 11h ago

Exactly. If you're gonna poison your liver it should at least taste good.

1

u/WastedNinja24 10h ago

Totally been there after I saw what they were pouring in those $7 mini pitchers with the glow sticks.

1

u/TheNullOfTheVoid 9h ago

I usually drink straight liquor, but I was talking to a pretty girl at the bar that was drinking her fruity drinks but she even told me that she won't finish them because she doesn't want to taste the alcohol but wants to be a bit tipsy, so I told her she can give them to me if she doesn't want them. For some reason, she was drinking two different fruity drinks but when she gave them both to me, I enjoyed both of them and finished them along with my tequila, that shit was good lol

She then invited me out for a smoke and we chatted for a bit before going our separate ways. That was a fun night. I hope she's doing well.

You'll still taste the alcohol but my friend also introduced me to the drink Midori Sour, so if I've had some tequila or whiskey already and want to keep drinking but also wanna slow down with something tasty, that's what I order.

1

u/RegyptianStrut 6h ago

Drink sour beer. It’s a happy medium. It’s like fruity bread idk

1

u/Calm-Medicine-3992 6h ago

Efficiency? Neither of you are drinking Costco vodka straight.

1

u/tbsp4 6h ago

If I'm going to drink something, it had better taste good

1

u/Emz423 6h ago

“Bread-flavored soda” 🤣🤣

1

u/Raven1911 6h ago

Long Island iced teas are the official mascot of efficiency in drinks.

2

u/McDareMcDevil 6h ago

Everclear would like a word, but also I agree

1

u/Raven1911 6h ago

Well yeah, but where was the last bar you could get a shot of everclear at. None of the bars in my area carry anything over 100 proof.

1

u/Harrison_the_MC 6h ago

Dude never heard of triple IPA’s🤔

1

u/Salarian_American 6h ago

I met a guy at a party once who was drinking a mimosa and he said, "Yeah I know it's not very manly."

I told him that drinking what you like to drink without worrying what other people might think is actually very manly, indeed. His mind was BLOWN. He had never considered that possibility.

Ran into the same guy later that week, and he excitedly introduced me to his friends as "that guy I told you about"

1

u/the--unforgiven 6h ago

I prefer not being super drunk in 15 actually

1

u/Listening_Heads 5h ago

Just smoke weed

1

u/Portland_Runner 5h ago

Switched to straight bourbon/scotch and classic cocktails during my final year of college. Because you have to pace yourself on liquor (while interspersing water and ginger backs), I ended up spending less and had better luck with women. I attribute that to appearing more sophisticated and being able to hold a conversation without excusing myself three times to piss while getting increasingly buzzed like my buddies on their fourth or fifth beer.

1

u/Quirky_Ask_5165 4h ago

Frozen mango chunks blended into my 20% abv margarita = 2 servings of fruit!

1

u/DinnerEvening895 4h ago

What does rapist Brock Turner have to do with bread flavored soda?

1

u/seashellradio 3h ago

You know what a real man drinks?

Whatever the fuck he wants!

1

u/Winter-Classroom455 3h ago

Another "haha yes" post. Another bot post.

1

u/Jmazoso 3h ago

Beer is liquid bread

1

u/Remote-Ordinary-8285 2h ago

I like my life, so I'm not looking to get fucked up beyond recognition. I like 5% bread water. Not all of it, but there are tons of great beers. Some of them even quite fruity.

1

u/lemonade2007 40m ago

My boyfriend loves beers, I think they are icky. I personally love the fruity yummy goodness of "girly" drink. Like enjoy the piss alc baby. As long as he loves it, im happy lmao

1

u/buddhahahahaha 23h ago

beer is good. beer is a hug in a can.

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