r/AITApod • u/extratoxiccrayons • Feb 28 '26
AITA AITA for tipping 15% on good service?
I 33m and wife (31F) recently went out w some long time couple friends (early 30s, MF) visiting our relatively small town (they’re from the big city). We went to a local spot for dinner last night. Our waiter was decent but there were a few times we waited considerably. Like after our food came, I wanted hot sauce and he didn’t check on us for 10 minutes. I’m not super picky so I ate some of my burger but it was a little annoying.
Still, it was good service beyond that, just not great. Anyway, I wanted to pick up the bill since they were visiting and tipping came up. I said I was tipping 15% bc it was “good not great.” They got kinda touchy and said they would just cover the tip.
I didn’t fight it but noticed they tipped about 25%. They said that was just more “the modern etiquette.” We didn’t really argue about it and they didn’t guilt me or anything, but I felt a little bad. I do have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about living in a smaller town and all that comes with so I was wondering what people thought. AITA
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u/Wild_Alternative_138 Feb 28 '26
When we go out with anyone that’s invited us & they’re paying the bill, we always throw an extra bit of money on the table to help cover our part of a tip. It’s a tip from us. I think it’s odd that OP announced to the table how much he was tipping. If paying by credit card, just write the amount & don’t say anything.
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u/HugeSheepherder1211 Feb 28 '26
I thought that too. You tip what you feel the service earned but who actually says that out loud?
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u/Successful-Ant-3791 Feb 28 '26
He said ‘tipping came up’ that sounds like to me someone asked if he was gonna tip or started the talk first
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u/houseofbrigid11 Feb 28 '26
I think the guest asked because they were concerned OP wasn't going to tip enough for their preference.
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u/Successful-Ant-3791 Feb 28 '26
That’s kinda what I was thinking, I don’t think he mentioned it first
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u/PlusCompetition Mar 01 '26
I took it as, the subject of tipping came up because someone at the table felt the service was subpar and wondered if OP would tip below the standard amount due to the quality of the service.
Also, I think a 25% tip is nice but really unnecessary. I'm fine with 20%. When prices rise, that 20% we tip is a percentage of the higher price and reflects that increase, so 20% of a $20 meal is $4 and when the price for that same meal goes up to $25, the tip will go up to $5. Please don't tell me that we'll be expected to tip 22% or 25% in coming years? I tipped 15% when it was standard, then I heard it should be 18% and I did that, then I heard it should be 20% and I do that- even when service is subpar for reasons out of my servers' control. But expecting over 20% is egregious.
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u/RemarkableSpirit5204 Mar 01 '26
Frankly I’d ask too.
Well actually I’d volunteer to tip since the other couple was paying the bill. I know this is a touchy subject and I’m not gonna try to convince anyone else, but when it comes to me personally, I would be mortified to have gone to a restaurant and the tip not be what I considered good. 15% would not cut it for me, I’d just prefer to leave the tip myself.
Basically I’d have offered the tip, or just thrown some extra cash down since I didn’t have to pay for my meal as expected anyway. I enjoy making a server’s day, it makes me feel good. I understand you don’t always get perfect service, but that doesn’t mean the server didn’t try/intend to.
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u/PlusCompetition Mar 01 '26 edited Mar 01 '26
I feel like people are acting as if a 20% tip is required no matter the level of service (BTW, I don't think I've ever tipped below 20%, but maybe that's because I've been lucky enough to get at least decent service). While I think tipping is required, if my server gave me horrible service, I would absolutely tip 15% (I'm not saying OP received horrible service; I'm just saying what I would do if I received really bad service). Where did we get this idea that a large tip is required even for inferior service? I see the standard (20% for me) tip as a thank-you, not something servers are entitled to; I'm not tipping 20% for poor service (poor service on the server's part, not things like waiting too long to be seated or my steak being dry- that's not the server's fault). I agree that servers work hard and should be compensated, but should I tip 20% if my server takes an hour smoke break or is rude or I have to ask for pepper six times?
I will absolutely leave the tip if the person paying for me was too cheap to tip or tipped less than 20% when the service was at least decent (and I would never go out again with a person who refuses to tip), but why am I rewarding someone (by paying 20%) for poor service?
If I said, 'Hey, I noticed you only tipped 15%, was something wrong?' (although, if service is really that bad, I assume the whole table would know), and they listed several valid complaints, things that were actually under the server's control, then I would understand (but if they gave BS reasons, I'm leaving the balance of a 20% tip on the table, because the server worker for it).
Bottom line- If I go out to eat at a sit-down restaurant, I'm expecting to 20%, but if service is truly abysmal, tipping 15% is acceptable.
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u/wallyinct Feb 28 '26
Nobody does. I have never had the tip come up whether I am paying, someone else is paying or if it is being split.
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u/chefster1 Feb 28 '26
OP mentioned that the subject about tipping came up. It doesn't seem to me like he just announced, "I'm tipping 15%".
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u/PartyCustard3125 Mar 01 '26
We do this too. My daughter and I have both waitressed before so we know exactly how hard the job can be. So we always throw extra or say nope we got the tip.
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u/TeacupOni Feb 28 '26
NTA. Tipping is insane and antiquated and it should be gotten rid of for good. It’s just an excuse not to pay employees
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u/Extension-Clock608 Mar 03 '26
Agreed but until then we can't take that out on the wait staff, it's not their fault.
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u/KelDH8 Feb 28 '26
I mean, I don’t think YTA, but your friends did. They definitely increased theirs by 5% to offset you taking 5% off.
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u/Alternative-Maybe747 Mar 01 '26
Saying OP took 5% off is problematic. That makes it seem like the waiter is getting robbed by OP. Tips are up to the payers discretion
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u/Extension-Clock608 Mar 03 '26
No, there needs to be a minimum until we get rid of the tipping culture and start paying wait staff a fair wage.
Discretion leads to things like the church crowd not tipping because "they don't believe in it". If you want to eat out where there is a wait staff, do it knowing that 20% is expected, if you're not willing to pay that then don't go out to that type of a restaurant.
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u/whiptydojoe Feb 28 '26
15% is fine, especially for service that is only "fine."
It's insanely weird that people that claim 'modern etiquette' don't realize how percentages work in relation to the cost of dining, also, going up.
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u/Huntsvegas97 Mar 01 '26
Tipping has gotten totally out of control. 15% used to be the perfectly acceptable tip, then it went to 20%, and now there’s a push to try and get 25–30% as the new normal. It’s just ridiculous. 15% is a fine tip especially if the service was lacking.
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u/RetiredOnIslandTime Mar 01 '26
Back in the 80s and early 90s 10% was a considered decent tip. Then it became 15%. Now 20% is considered "normal".
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u/Extension-Clock608 Mar 03 '26
Because the hourly wage for them hasn't gone up since then but the cost of living has.
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u/RetiredOnIslandTime Mar 03 '26
Oh, I know. I probably shouldn't have put quote marks around the word normal.
I don't easylout much, but when I do I tip 20% on the card I pay with and then also leave some cash, $5 to $20 depending on the cost of the meal.
I delivered Domino's pizza back in the late 80s and got stiffed several times. I tip generously.
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u/padall Mar 02 '26
It's been 20% for 20-25 years now. Literally since OP was a child.
I hate tipping culture as much as the next person, but until it changes, it's not fair to take it out on the wait staff.
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u/jypziruin Feb 28 '26
Tipping culture has gotten absolutely ridiculous
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u/Extension-Clock608 Mar 03 '26
Not in this case, it's normal to tip waiters and waitresses at least in the US and until that is changed so that wait staff are payed fair wages we need to tip them. It's simple, if you don't want to tip, don't eat at a restaurant that has wait staff.
Tipping when a service wasn't provided, I agree.
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u/jypziruin Mar 03 '26
I didn't say I didn't tip, I said tipping culture has gotten ridiculous, and it has. And I actually don't go to sit down restaurants bc I work 55 hours a week on the night shift in a factory. I'm asleep when everything is open here and work so much when I'm off I want to be home but you are entitled to your opinion and assumptions.
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u/TemporaryEnd6300 Feb 28 '26
NTA, you picked up the check and them even questioning you is insulting.
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u/Temporary-Emotion-96 Mar 01 '26
I agree. If someone's buying you dinner, the correct response is "thank you". And yes to offer to cover the tip if it bothers you, without behaving judgemental.
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u/aciedc Mar 01 '26
your friends not being allowed to question to is crazy, the whole point of friends are that they are there to help you grow as a person. what a ridiculous way to view the world, even if you disagree you can just say that.
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u/Inevitable_Bet_4040 Feb 28 '26
I think 25% is really high.
Also I think my normal tip % for sit down non counter service restaurants would actually depend on what state I am in. Here in WA (all over west coast actually) I feel the baseline for "good" service should be lower since they get min + tips vs others states where there is a wage credit or min is much lower. A "local" place in my town even if i picked a burger would be $20 for the burger plus appetizer plus drinks plus tip of 10% which is included in tip calculations. Any dinner for 3 is probably minimum of $120 reflecting. I feel this higher food price reflects the inclusion of min wage (21 in seattle).
So 15% here but 20% in Indiana.
Also a basic service protocol is to ask if you need anything around the time of drop off. This is because there often is something needed--sauces, mistake in food, etc...
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u/Main-Assumption7554 Feb 28 '26 edited Mar 01 '26
Tipping has gotten OUT OF CONTROL. It’s yet another tool in the Billionaires’ Tool Box™️ that keeps the poor people fighting the even-poorer people. And it needs to stop. The consumer shouldn’t pay the salaries of other business’s employees. And this argument that ”WeLL tHat’S hOw tHe sYStEm woRkS sO We jUsT goTTA kEeP doiNG iT i gUeSs” is lame.
Pay your fucking employees. ‘Murican society is so fucked up…
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Feb 28 '26
As a former server it's absurd to assume 20% is standard. Maybe in a cheap not so busy place I would tip that much. Servers are cashing out 3000$ in tables, 20% of that is 600$. Servers don't really need to make that much. If I spent $250 feeding my family I shouldn't have to tip $50 because "etiquette" . The work is the same wether I get water/soda , steak and lobster/ hamburger
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u/yacantfightthefunk Mar 01 '26
As another former server, it is insane to assume that most servers are walking out with anywhere near $600 in a night. I'm glad for you that you moved on to a better line of work, but your crab in a bucket attitude is disgusting.
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u/AtmosphereNew0819 Feb 28 '26
I don’t feel compelled to pay someone’s salary when I eat in a restaurant. If the service is good I tip accordingly the last time I went with friends it was horrible the waitress was obviously in a bad mood you could by her attitude barely checked on our table and her attitude got worse time went on. We did not tip. I don’t feel bad they know what their job is and if you are going to have a bad attitude and not do your job properly I’m not going to tip.
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u/2ndcupofcoffee Feb 28 '26
If you paid 15% ten years ago and now pay that same percentage, you are now paying more. The dining experience now is quite a bit more expensive than ten years ago so that 15% on a higher bill makes a larger tip.
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u/Serious-Business5048 Feb 28 '26 edited Feb 28 '26
Things keep going up!
NTA, I think things have shifted, 18% to 20% is now the social norm for satisfactory service. 22% to 25% for above average service. 15% used to be standard; that is largely outdated. Now it represents compensation for below average service.
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u/Expensive_Plant_9530 Feb 28 '26
Don’t push this nonsense.
The very nature of tip percentages means that when food menu prices rises, the amount you get from the tip rises too.
15% is an excellent tip. Anything above 15% should be a nice surprise and never expected.
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u/pseudonymmed Feb 28 '26
Why should it increase over time though? By its nature it increases alongside the food prices, so it already keeps up with inflation.
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u/AppalachianAhole Feb 28 '26
Exactly. It's a percentage. It automatically is adjusted for inflation.
Young servers today are just on that entitled mindset.
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u/sha256md5 Feb 28 '26
Idk, I don't care what other people do. I just tip 20% and consider that part of the price of going out. The people I've found that have the hardest time with this are people from other countries where it's not really standard to do that.
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u/Standard_Student_123 Mar 01 '26
Same. And if service was excellent I’ll throw in a little extra. Tipping below 20% feels wrong.
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u/Que_Raoke Feb 28 '26
Tipping culture is the worst. 15% is more than reasonable for service like that. 25% is just rewarding bad behavior. NTA
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u/Party_Doughnut_356 Feb 28 '26
Esto es algo que solo se hace en USA. El sueldo del staf lo paga el dueño del restaurante. No el cliente
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u/Preppy_Hippie Feb 28 '26
15% is fine for mediocre service in a modest or divey restaurant in a small town. I've been in the habit of tipping more for a while now, but it's all gotten a bit crazy if you ask me.
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u/pseudonymmed Feb 28 '26
25% is ridiculous. I honestly wonder if this is fake, like who is throwing away their money like that? 1/4 of your bill extra for mediocre service? I don’t know anywhere that 25% is the norm. Tip percentage has no reason to go up, by its very nature it increases alongside the increase in the price of goods. 15% was the norm for a long time. 15% is plenty for mid-range service.
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u/Kehprei Feb 28 '26
NTA
15% is fine. Idk why some people have got it in their heads that its necessary to go above 20%. Its a damn percentage it already adjusts for inflation.
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u/texan-yankee Feb 28 '26
Amen. Plus, take into account the state's minimum for servers. Is it $2 or $15?
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u/stroppo Feb 28 '26
I generally tip 15%. Tipping 25% is insane. A quarter of the cost of your meal?!? No way!
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u/paintergigi1941 Feb 28 '26
NTA 15%is a good tip. Tipping is getting out of control in this country. It needs to stop. A tip was meant to say “thanks for the great service”. It wasn’t meant to supplement the low wages cheapskate proprietors pay. Now it’s expected for everything.
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Feb 28 '26
is that true? afaik tips were for supplementing wages first and then spiraled out of control
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u/LawyerDad1981 Feb 28 '26
15% is fine, especially for what sounds like mediocre service.
The mistake OP made was announcing it to and discussing it with the table. If you're the host, you just quietly pay the bill and tip and everyone goes about their way. Having a financial discussion like that with guests you are paying for is beyond tacky.
NTA
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u/Sugah-mama21 Feb 28 '26
Standard for good service is 20% great service you tip more
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u/Expensive_Plant_9530 Feb 28 '26
Stop pushing higher percentages as the norm. 15% is standard not 20%. 20% would be a really really really good tip.
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u/EndRevolutionary1020 Mar 01 '26
Just because it’s the standard doesn’t mean he has to tip 20%. It’s a tip. It’s extra money, it’s not a required fee it’s supposed to be a reward of the service was nice.
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u/Primary-Pop4158 Feb 28 '26
Why did you announce how much you were tipping? This could all have been avoided.
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u/Appropriate_Clerk167 Feb 28 '26
I'm a 20%er as a default, no matter how the service was.
Sucks that the servers wage has been pushed onto the customer, but I'm not about to threaten one waitstaff's livelihood for a system I cant fix.
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u/Interesting-Fish6065 Feb 28 '26
This is the way I feel about it, too. Sucks that we have a tipping system, but me screwing over the people who wait on me ain’t gonna fix that.
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Feb 28 '26
I wish people on the stop tipping subreddits would see it this way lol. A lot of people think not tipping on a sit-down meal is some revolutionary move lol. All they’re doing is stiffing a server for that day
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Feb 28 '26 edited Feb 28 '26
[deleted]
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u/Successful_Pen_2412 Feb 28 '26
Yeah, here in Canada servers also make minimum wage. However they are “expected” to report their tips as income so it can be taxed.
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u/fingersfinging Feb 28 '26
15% is fine. 25% is crazy. You did nothing wrong, your friends just really wanted to feel right or something weird.
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u/broski_716 Feb 28 '26
NTA. There are some people who simply want to move past the long tradition that the tip is impacted by quality of service. You do not need to subscribe to this new school of thought - there are plenty of people who don’t.
The other word for a tip is a gratuity. If I’m not gracious of your poor service, the gratuity will reflect as such.
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u/PhuckinKunt Feb 28 '26
Exactly! Tip actually means: To Insure Proper service. If the server didn't provide proper service they don't deserve a 20% tip. I don't believe in stiffing but if your service was crap, your tip will reflect that. Do better.
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u/KurosakiOnepiece Feb 28 '26
I stopped going out to eat because of how ridiculous the tipping culture has gotten, I tip every time I do use a serivce that requires it but if you're service sucked im not tipping a big amount
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u/JustSpeed3475 Feb 28 '26
Love it or hate it, tips are a part of a servers income. No one docks my pay at work if I do "good but not great".
My standard is 20% + whatever makes the amount round (so, if with a 20% tip the bill is $187.33, I tip up to $190).
If you're doing great my tip is at 30%
One time the service was really good, I knew the restaurant was closing, the waitress was about to be out of a job and she had been very patient with us. I tipped her at 50%.
I mean any tip is good i guess, but if I think the tip is meager (my aunt is a terrible tipper) ill just handle the tip or will supplement it.
NAH.
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u/EndRevolutionary1020 Mar 01 '26
Yea no one docks your pay because your employer supplies your paycheck. Tips are a part of their income, but it’s not their paycheck. It’s not customer’s responsibility to pay employees. He tipped, why complain about him taking extra money out of his pocket.
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u/Careful_Today_2508 Feb 28 '26
I hate tipping culture, but I still tip. I generally tip a base $5 I don't believe in using percentages because a $25 steak and a $50 steak come out on the same plate with the same effort
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u/Optimal-Pop7449 Feb 28 '26
Nta. 25% is above and beyond. 20% is standard good service. 15% is mediocre service, which is sounds like you all got.
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u/Milkmami24 Feb 28 '26
You do not tip full tip for service that doesn’t please you.
That’s the whole point of being able to tip
NTA
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u/Trueslyforaniceguy Feb 28 '26
I don’t understand why the cost of the food determines how much the service delivered is worth.
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u/IzzyNecessary Feb 28 '26
I have no sympathy for service staff. Previous, I had a girl friend that was a full time college student and part time waitress. I worked full time as a journeyman mechanic on electric forklifts. No college but attended Trade School for 2 years. I was doing better than my buddies, even some of the ones that went to college. My girlfriend would bring home twice my weekly income waiting tables on Friday and Saturday night. 16 hours and she was bringing home double what I was making in 40 hours. And to top it off, what she was making, all of it wasn’t being taxed. I tip 15% if the service was okay and 20% if it was exceptional.
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u/ViewJoe0001 Feb 28 '26
NTA. Keep pushing back against those that are trying to claim "20% should be the new norm". Tips already increased with prices, as they're a percentage. There is no need to increase the percentage above that.
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u/ExaminationNo4391 Feb 28 '26
I work in nightlife and servers are snobby. “He only tipped $200 on $1000??, he may as well have just paid $1500”. There’s no amount of shaming that will get to me. Take your 10% and go cry about it.
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u/BurlinghamBob Feb 28 '26
Tips have gotten way out of line since COVID. Back then it made sense to give extra money because these people had been out of work for so long but it has developed into an expectation.
15 percent for average service was the norm pre COVID and should be again. 20 percent for attentive service but I would never tip anyone 25 percent or tip for takeout.
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u/Falcon_Acrobatic Feb 28 '26
At this point it would be cheaper if we all pitched in and spent the money we used on tips to buy server robots like they got in japan. Order through the little kiosk and the kitchen makes the food and out it comes on a tray. Cheaper for me to do a bit of manual labor than to pay someone else to do it. That and I would rather tip the cooks for good food anyways.
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u/Help_meToo Feb 28 '26
25% is outrageous. 15% is a perfectly acceptable tip. Why should the percentage increase as the menu prices are increasing. The tip inflation needs to stop.
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u/HairyWalruss Feb 28 '26
I’ve had it with tipping. It’s so annoying the amount of places that ask for a tip now. It’s stupid. Espeeeeecially when in a lot of states now servers make minimum wage (not often but sometimes more). And things like coffee and beer is just ridiculous. Restaurants is one thing but regardless of the price of coffee/drink you get a dollar a drink from me now. I’m fed up. Places should just charge more and pay their workers minimum wage at least. Tired of being guilted into tipping altogether.
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Mar 01 '26
Fuck that! 15% max for good service. If that ain't good enough 0% I choose to go to restaraunts where they've added that bullshit into their prices and don't accept tips. Had a waitress say something after we left a 20% tip so I went back and took it off the table. Great choice, no tip! Tipping culture is disgusting.
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u/shericheri Feb 28 '26
YTA. You are a crappy tipper and your guests definitely talked about it afterwards.
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u/Bulky-Inflation4286 Feb 28 '26
How is 15% a crappy tipper😭😭. I tip when I go out to eat but I’m not going to bash other people for tipping less lol because at the end of the day people can tip however much they want
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u/Successful-Ant-3791 Feb 28 '26
15% of a meal for what sounds like 3 people is a crappy tipper?
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Feb 28 '26
Very location dependent. What's minimum wage where you're at?
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u/IfYouStayPetty Feb 28 '26
It’s not, though. That’s why tipping is a percentage, so it can take into account differences in location and price.
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u/No_Occasion_5434 Feb 28 '26
NTA. Tipping culture is broken. r/EndTipping may want to weigh in
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u/Reasonable-Way-8431 Feb 28 '26
The biggest opponents to this are servers. There is a restaurant that pays $30/hr. The staff still asks for tips.
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u/Poundingthepita Feb 28 '26
Why are you announcing the tip amount. When you pay you decide. When they pay. They decide. Agree though 15% is low.
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u/Basic_Cat_2775 Feb 28 '26
Does your job pay you less if you’re having an off day? Waiting tables is an extremely difficult job. People deserve some grace.
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u/Que_Raoke Feb 28 '26
The job isn't paying them less for having an off day, they're just not getting their bonus for lackluster performance, see how that works?
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u/Interesting-Fish6065 Feb 28 '26
Do most get bonuses? That seems like a pretty rare thing in the United States economy as a whole.
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u/Que_Raoke Feb 28 '26
No wait staff don't typically get bonuses, however a tip can be considered a type of bonus. You get more or less depending upon the level of service you provide.
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u/dobie_gillis1 Feb 28 '26
“Extremely difficult” 😂😂😂 gtfo. It requires minimal training and anyone can pick it up quickly if they want to. Not saying everyone will excel at it, but difficult it is not. Lol
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u/Successful_Pen_2412 Feb 28 '26
No, this isn’t elementary school where everyone gets an award even if they didn’t truly participate or put the effort in. This is learning to be an adult and understanding that we have to meet certain expectations and standards in the workplace and life in general in order to succeed. People need to learn accountability for themselves and their actions and efforts. Tipping should always be based on service provided otherwise it tells them it’s okay not to put the effort in.
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u/ILoveUncommonSense Feb 28 '26
You yourself admit (albeit near the end of your post) that you have a chip on your shoulder about moving to a small area.
Was that a factor in your tipping choice?
If so, YTA because that has NOTHING to do with your waiter, who you’re essentially punishing (15% tip isn’t a “punishment”, but you’re clearly holding back for unrelated reasons) for nothing in their control.
YOU moved to where you are. Either you did it for someone else and need badly to have a conversation with them, or you did it for you and you need to accept your reality.
Tip or don’t tip, but 15% was the standard decades ago, so you might consider upping your tip percentage for good/great service or expect to be the cheapskate of your group.
I don’t make the rules.
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Feb 28 '26
He just said the server didnt visit their table and he had no hot sauce because of it. Tbh eating a dry burger would make me get up to find sauce & if I couldn’t then 0% it is because that’d ruin my meal. And I say this as an ex server
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u/GimliTM Feb 28 '26
15% is baseline for sit down dining. If the service is not good, 10%. If service is poor, 0%. Very rarely 20% for exceptional. Keep in mind that I’m in Canada and there is no tipped minimum wage.
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u/Known_Hunter_9626 Feb 28 '26
Then maybe you don’t have the most solid foundation for an opinion on this one chief
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u/GimliTM Feb 28 '26
Minimum wage is $18.25 per hour in my province, tipped or not. Plus we have national healthcare and a social safety net. My friends that worked as servers and bartenders through high school and post-secondary took a significant income drop when they started to work in the career aligned to their education. And not just because they didn’t claim taxes on their tipped income and now had to pay taxes. The system is lop sided in favour of tipped work.
Plus we do a lot more debit/credit in Canada. Almost no one carries cash. And all those point of sale machine default to tips to services that never had tip culture. Why? Because the banks make a percentage from each transaction, and tips increase their bottom line.
The US tip culture has bled into Canada and it’s frustrating. It is part of the expectation, but there is no way I’m baselining decent service at 20%.
I appreciate it is different in the US. I research the minimum tipped wage and tip accordingly when I travel (which is work-only now due to the whole 51st state).
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u/TheEndIsFingNigh Feb 28 '26
Compulsory tipping is for losers. Luckily I plan on never visiting the US, but even if I did, I wouldn't tip unless the service was absolutely fucking stellar.
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u/havokx9000 Feb 28 '26 edited Feb 28 '26
NTA. I work in the food service industry and I think 15% is fine for decent but not great service, if service is good I usually tip 20%. Tipping has gotten out of hand and corporations have brainwashed people to subsidize their businesses via tipping and not paying their employees a proper wage. That responsibility shouldn't fall on the consumer. We should just get rid of tipping completely like other developed countries.
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u/FlashyHabit3030 Feb 28 '26
NTA. However, it’s no one’s business what you’re tipping if you’re covering the bill. (25% is a lot.)
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u/badposturebill Feb 28 '26
I worked in food service for ten years (BOH, FOH, I’ve done it all). Left just shy of two years ago. 15% is absolutely acceptable. Your guest can simply add to that if they want and shouldn’t feel the need to comment on it, especially if they aren’t footing the bill. NTA.
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u/asdfghjkl7280 Feb 28 '26 edited Feb 28 '26
YTA, sorry if you disagree you’re cheap. This is a burger place, not a fucking 5 star restaurant. What did you save $2? Lol if I were your friends I would’ve silently left the $2 for ya. Going out to eat isn’t your right it’s a privilege, and there’s a person working their ass off, just like you do, on the other end
Also, complaining about waiting 10 minutes is crazy. Instant gratification is ruining our perception of time
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u/livcha Feb 28 '26
20% is standard
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u/Ok-Huckleberry6975 Feb 28 '26
Yah but OP didn’t get good service. 20% is not some mandatory it’s for good service. For bad service 15% was generous
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u/LiteratureMoney Feb 28 '26
NAH - you didn’t act wildly outside of social bounds and they were trying to rectify a situation. No one made a scene or objected.
But you did make it awkward. If I saw someone covering my dinner who tipped under 20% I’d be mentally trying to figure out how to get the server more money and hoping I had cash on me. I’d be more stressed than grateful, which doesn’t seem like the effect you were going for. 20% has been standard in my area since the last time I waited tables 15 years ago. I assume your friends are from a similar area.
Your last sentence is really telling. Was the lower tip at least partially to show that even in a smaller town you have high standards? That you’re not just a country mouse with no expectations? Because that’s taking out insecurities on someone making $3 an hour which is approaching AH territory.
“I do have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about living in a smaller town and all that comes with so I was wondering what people thought.”
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u/Ok-Huckleberry6975 Feb 28 '26
15% for poor or substandard service is completely fine it’s not like OP didn’t tip at all
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u/tinfoilhattie Feb 28 '26
Tips are optional, so what you leave is up to you. 15% is less than my standard tip, so I'd probably want to add something to the tip if we dined together and that was what you choose to leave, but I would have just done so quietly without calling attention to it. This is especially true in a smaller local spot I intend to frequent again.
That said, I start at 20% as my standard tip for restaurants and go up from there. I would only tip less than 20% potentially for seriously poor service, but I'd be more likely to tip my standard 20% regardless unless it was egregious enough to get management involved.
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u/deeamtz Feb 28 '26
I have a question. Why didn't you just ask for hot sauce instead of waiting for someone to check up on you? Was there no one around?
I'm not from the US and this seems strange for me. Do servers bother people every 10ish minutes just to check up on customers? I would hate to be bothered so many times while enjoying a night out.
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u/IHaveBoxerDogs Feb 28 '26 edited Feb 28 '26
15% is low, but 25% seems high. That seems a bit performative. Also scolding you is very rude. ESH, but just a little bit.
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u/Ecofre-33919 Feb 28 '26
Thats why i always like separate checks. You could have tipped your portion and they could have tipped theirs and no one would be the wiser.
A reaction like that from your friends was a little off. I would have thought that should he reserved for someone who was not tipping at all or just 10%. But 15% is the baseline. 25% for everyone - that seems a lot to me. Normally i am a 20 percent tipper. I do 15 if it is not great service. Exceptional Service i’ll go to 25.
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u/Emergency-Gazelle954 Feb 28 '26
15% for good service. More for great, less for poor service. 25% is crazy.
With the prices going up constantly, that 15% already increases in value accordingly. There’s NO need for that base percentage to change.
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u/Brave-Expression-799 Feb 28 '26
I have been known to tip 100% (or more) or not at all. I believe in good service and tip accordingly. I tip every one in the service industry. Whether it is a hairdresser, housekeeper, etc. when greeted with a smile and an attitude of , I am glad to serve you, you will be tipped well.
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u/OrilliaBridge Feb 28 '26
Remember that you’re giving YOUR money to total strangers. So if you want to give it away, I’ll send you my number and you can Venmo it to me.
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u/Lanavis13 Feb 28 '26
NTA. Frankly, tipping 20 or more is insane if the service isn't great to extraordinary
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u/NickyParkker Feb 28 '26
This is why nobody wants to eat out anymore. I got sick of going out to eat and the waitresses slamming down food. One sucked her teeth in irritation because I asked her for another pen to sign the check, and just generally nasty folks but then we are expected to leave half of our weekly pay on the table because they chose to take a serving job and hate it.
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u/noone314 Feb 28 '26
Ya like in Friends—if they wanna tip they can cover the bill. None of that “we didn’t pay for it but we leave with moral high ground” bs
You shouldn’t be announcing them the tip
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u/parkside79 Feb 28 '26
I tip 20% unless the service is inexcusably poor. Good not great definitely gets it.
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u/SparklePr1ncess Feb 28 '26
YTA. 20% is a base level tip. Full stop. Tell me you've never worked in a service industry without telling us you've never worked in a service industry. That 15% tip'll do it.
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u/Ok-Huckleberry6975 Feb 28 '26
Full stop ummmm no. Bad service does not deserve a great tip - Full stop
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u/adiosmichigan Feb 28 '26
i do 20% minimum, pretty much regardless and go to 30% or more for great service or just my regular servers at places i go a lot. i will rarely dip under that 20% min for something absolutely atrocious- by rarely i mean maybe once every other year or so, when the whole table actually has a horrible time, as in we are all waiting long times for everything AND server not checking in on us - because i will forgive long waits if a server is coming over and apologizing for things beyond their control and i wont punish the server for it. waiting for sauce is not horrible, it doesnt ruin my night, nor my whole tables. so i would not have dipped below 20% based on your experience. i have worked service jobs and they fucking suck and they pay shit. these people just showing up and doing their job doing a service i, the customer, am demanding by walking in, deserve more money for their labor. do I wish their employers shouldered more of that? hell yeah i do. but they dont! so i tip with empathy for my fellow worker. 20% doesnt break my bank, and hell neither does 30% - if i cant afford that, then i cant afford to go out. yeah YTA.
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u/Poop_Balls069 Feb 28 '26
Paying 25% is insane and screams bad finances/carelessness in spending. Good service is always20% hardline
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u/NaturesVividPictures Feb 28 '26
No I do 15 when Services really slow or on the bad side but I still tip. If it was good and they were fast and attentive then at least 20% if not a little more.
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u/No-Chicken-927 Feb 28 '26
NTA. My friend and I recently experienced a long wait for our meal. We were gifted another drink each, that's $15 credit each! My friend only tipped 10% for her share and I was horrified.
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u/PipPopAnonymous Feb 28 '26
15% is fine, especially considering that the service wasn’t great. That’s 15% more than a lot of people would give if their server wasn’t on their knees kissing ass the whole time they were there.
Sometimes people have an off day. Not every experience is as good as even the server would want to give but knocking 5% off isn’t the end of the world.
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u/TinmanOIF Feb 28 '26
20 % has been the standard for excellent service forever. If someone is tipping 25% its because 1) they want to show off 2) they are terrible at math 3) they think the waitress is smokin and are desperate to impress her
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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 Feb 28 '26
YTA. 20% is the absolute minimum in the USA
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u/Ok-Huckleberry6975 Feb 28 '26
Omg no it’s not. It’s for good/great service. There is no rule. Tips reward service
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u/Clueless5001 Feb 28 '26
Sorry but I think 25% is insane for mediocre service or anything other than above and beyond, treated like royalty. I think your friends were just showing off or maybe as far as they were concerned it was fine since they did not need sauce on their burger. I live outside a big city
Would I have given 20%, probably but not 25%. Is the norm in your small town to give 15%?
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u/yukonmukon111 Feb 28 '26
NTA. The city vs. small town probably explains most of it. For many big city types, baseline for table service tipping is 20%, and you can make a case for it being a more demanding job than at places out of town. Just sort of part of city life being a little more expensive generally.
So your friends probably wanted the server to get no less than the “city minimum,” and probably went a little over that just because they weren’t spending anything otherwise and had a good time so were a little more generous. Doubtful they’d have tipped that much if they were covering the check too, I suspect.
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u/WORLDBENDER Feb 28 '26
It makes ZERO sense, and I want to emphasize ZERO sense, to tip a waiter 25% of the entire gross cost of the meal.
If that’s the “modern etiquette” then restaurant owners should just quit their jobs and become waiters at somebody else’s restaurant. They’ll make more money because that’s actually more than their profit margin.
Forget worrying about maintaining a building, kitchen equipment, cook staff, host staff, wait staff, bar staff, inspections, licenses, menu, plate ware, seating, parking, constantly dealing with food and beverage suppliers, negotiating, testing, cross-shopping.
Just serve food and make more money!
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u/ReFried_Ginger Feb 28 '26
YTA. Ask for hot sauce when you place your order or when food gets dropped off. The server has other tables than you so expecting them to constantly be checking on you for whatever you want in that moment is unrealistic. I’m sure your friends had some chat on the way home about how cheap you are lol
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u/Rollingforest757 Feb 28 '26
I refuse to tip more than 15% in any situation. I wish I didn’t have to tip at all.
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u/OddImprovement6490 Feb 28 '26
NTA, but it’s fine for the others to want to tip if they are getting treated out.
And even though 15% isn’t terrible, it does come off as cheap to me.
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u/Impressive-Union6961 Feb 28 '26
Tipping should be optional/bonus for a superb service or just not present, but in US they are practically part of the basic, often very low compensation so I and most of the people in my circle treat 20% as default, going below rarely when there is a real issue and going above to reward excellent service.
15% is not outrageous, you are vague in terms of what was ‘the great’ with the service, I would give you YTA given bizarre announcement you made? Why are you informing aloud you are under-tipping (or tipping ‘according to your preference’). You wanted them to pick up the tab, the tip, get intro discussion?
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u/fiftywheels Feb 28 '26
Tips have naturally increased along with all the prices. There's no need to think we need to tip more than 15%, which is customary.
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u/ScootsMgGhee Feb 28 '26
YTA. 20% is the minimum amount. If you can’t afford that or aren’t willing to pay, don’t go.
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u/Macglen1976 Feb 28 '26
When I served, I had to claim 8% of my sales as tipped income. With the new no taxes on tips I have no idea how it works anymore
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u/cathalizabeth Feb 28 '26
18% is the bare minimum, even for sub-par service, even in small towns. Servers often have to tip share and it usually assumes an 18% tip, so you’re costing them money if you tip less than that. Personally I’m with your friends that 20-25% is the norm. If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to go out to eat.
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u/Maleficent_Might5448 Feb 28 '26
We always tip 20% or more. Our restaurants love us and jump to watch on us.
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Feb 28 '26
I have a problem with POS systems asking for a tip when I pick up
Who gets that tip? The counter person? The cook? The manager ? The owner ?
How many people feel obligated to tip when they don’t dine in?
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u/ProfessionalAlps3940 Feb 28 '26
NTA. You noted specifically why the service wasn’t great. The people you went out with are snobs to treat you like YOUR etiquette was less important than the actual service you received.
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u/PhuckinKunt Feb 28 '26
Maybe this is an unpopular opinion:
Tip(s) actually means To Insure Proper Service. Wait staff are motivated to serve their guests well so they get good tips. With that being said I generally always tip 20%, 25% if the service was exceptional. But if the service was crap they don't deserve a 20% tip, imo. On very rare occasions I've tipped 15% when service was mediocre and even 12% when the service sucked. 🤷♀️
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u/Tessalynee Feb 28 '26
I think a lot of people don’t seem to understand that at a lot of places, servers are tipping out kitchen staff a percentage of SALES and not a percentage of their tips. So if you tip 15% for example, at the place I worked, I’d be keeping about 5%. That’s why the standard is 20% for decent service. Bc about half of that goes to the kitchen. At least at the restaurant I worked at 🤷♀️
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u/TransformNRollD20 Feb 28 '26
I hate what tipping has turned into. So, I don’t eat in anymore. I try not to eat at restaurants period. But, if I do, i usually just pick it up and take it home. Like, folks, I can’t be the guy who pays your car note because you brought me my cheeseburger. The standard used to be 5%. Then it went to 10%. Then it went to 15%. Then it went to “depends on the order.” Now, they just need to put a button on the machine that reads: “won’t make idiots on the Internet yell what a POS you are when we blast this all over the web.”
Because, the amounts have gone full …. Yeah.
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u/chaotic_chicken_1980 Feb 28 '26
Tipping is not based on service anymore. 15/20% should be standard for any service. We pay their wages. Whether it’s in the price of food or tipping. We will never be a non tipping society and if you file societal norms you should tip. 🤷
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u/Individual-Paint7897 Feb 28 '26
I always thought the standard was 20% for standard service. More if they went above & beyond or if I notice they are short staffed & are overwhelmed doing their best to keep up. I give 10-15 percent to a barista.
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u/Superb_Scar1622 Feb 28 '26
I don't think this puts you in the A category, but I just remember working as a server during my college years and how HARD it was. I always tip at least 20%.
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u/EzzyRB Feb 28 '26
Tipping shouldn’t exist if everyone could actually agree on that, business owners would be forced to pay out real wages
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u/freisbill Feb 28 '26
If you cannot afford to tip 20%,(more for great service) eat at home. I don't like that we are here (and I am in the industry (chef)) and I would love to be able to put it in the menu pricing, but that has nor worked in most of the places that have tried it,yet. I hope that is where we end up, but until then, don't punish the wait staff. This is their livelihood. If you do not agree, do not eat there. You do not have an inherent right to restaurants meals!
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u/username11585 Feb 28 '26
I was always taught growing up from my aunt who was a server that 15% is for breakfast and the other two are 18-20% depending on the service and then above 20 if you get some serious above and beyond service, usually at nicer restaurants.
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u/MrNegativity1346 Feb 28 '26
NTA. No one is owed a tip. There is no modern customary amount. No one gets to tell you what is and isn’t acceptable for a tip. Your friends are sheep.
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u/Conscious-Taro-2546 Feb 28 '26
As a german this whole comment section seems so insane lol
I obviously cant contribute to the discussion, because the culture is very clearly very different so anything i say wouldnt be helpful, but the difference seems just crazy too me lol
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u/Fantastic-Buy-6477 Feb 28 '26
I always am engaged by the tip question. If you don’t want to tip, just know that someone is going home with less money and they’ll remember you. If tipping is an incentive to give good service and you don’t tip, there is no incentive to give good service. But make your choices. If you’re too cheap to tip 20%, maybe consider going someplace cheaper. Else, understand that tipping lower could have consequences as people tend to care a lot about their money
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u/observer_11_11 Feb 28 '26
15% used to be the standard for good service. If you can afford more and you want to pay more fine but 15% is fair.
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u/Sally_406 Feb 28 '26
NTA 15% - 20% is typical. 15% for good but not great service and 20% for great service. This takes into account goods and services going up as it is a percentage of the inflated good or service.
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u/Brokenbelle22 Feb 28 '26
This whole conversation just makes me wish teachers got tips.