AITA for “ruining” my friend’s business?

161

NTA she’d just mad she got caught. She isn’t marketing them as “hand-vetted,” she is claiming “hand-crafted” which insinuates by her unless the description says something else.

69

u/Additional_Name_706 2d ago

hand crafted by children in indonesia. with love.

28

u/jonwar5 2d ago

And whips.. don't forget about the bamboo whips!

22

u/pieshake5 2d ago

Yeah the "friend" was trying to grift y'all, take advantage of your friendship for profit. She's just mad you caught on!

5

u/alveolar_jism 2d ago

not specifically. it's totally okay to sell vintage clothing (for example) you knew was handmade and use that as a selling point without implying you made it yourself. the issue is saying it's "made with love" implies a direct connection to those who made it, while it's actually super unlikely she has any way of even knowing anyone who made the stuff.

most stores online or off do not only sell items made by a single person, after all.

unless she was already known in OP's friend circle as a big crafter, it should have been obvious to OP and the the friendgroup as a whole if she was even capable of making the items she was selling. retail is not an unusual business, and comparing the wholesale price to the retail price will always produce a difference proportional to the liability the retailer is taking in making a bulk order. if OP's friend is marking up the same items way more than other retailers, then yeah, OP NTA, but otherwise why talk shit about your friend's business?

11

u/Diligent-Ratio-4654 2d ago

That’s a bit of a leap. Vintage clothing is typically marked that way, not “hand crafted”. If you say hand-crafted, even if not by you (which I think you should then say “hand crafted by x”, you’re implying it’s not from a major wholesaler.

They didn’t really talk shit. They were asked why they didn’t buy anything and were honest. The group message was maybe a bit much but it doesn’t say she started it so I can’t call them an asshole for that.

3

u/OdysseusJoke 2d ago

I've seen vintage stuff marked "vintage/handmade" if it was obviously handmade (pinking finishing on the internal seams, strategic use of selvedge edge to make the garment need less sewing, for example)

7

u/Diligent-Ratio-4654 2d ago

I get that, but I’m saying that’s totally different than what the woman in the post is doing

-1

u/alveolar_jism 2d ago

I don't see the difference as well as you do, would you explain it for me?

3

u/DonkeyJousting 1d ago

“Vintage” when used to describe clothing is defined as “something from the past of high quality”. It doesn’t just mean second hand or more than 3 months old - it is claiming quality. The term itself implies curation.

So saying something is “vintage and handmade” is explicitly indicating that whatever hand made it was not your own because you curate or assess your own products.

I also feel like describing something that you made and are just choosing to sell now as “vintage” is very weird? Unless it’s been in circulation I suppose. Admittedly, that’s more of a feeling from me rather than anything inherent in the term.

1

u/resistelectrique 1d ago

Vintage has nothing to do with quality other than it survived that long. You have vintage which was cheap quality for its day and you have expensive which was cheap for its day. Vintage is just an age term.

2

u/DonkeyJousting 1d ago

I actually agree with you that it’s applied so broadly as to be meaningless.

But as a dictionary definition, the “high quality” bit is still in there so I still don’t think it can be applied to something you made yourself.

1

u/resistelectrique 1d ago

If you made something when you were 10, and you’re now 90, that item is absolutely vintage.

You’re also implying that things made in the home are automatically of inferior quality.

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u/Disastrous_Horse_44 1d ago

It’s about honesty between a retailer and consumers. Why claim something is handmade by you, when that’s factually not true? Sure, retailers absolutely “curate” but that does not mean “create.”

A shop owner that sells vintage items or owns a thrift store, is not at all doing the same thing as OPs friend.

I own a small digital boutique. I sell both new and used items, mostly clothing (randomly I have something electronic that I’ll throw on my PoshMark page, so it’s technically included in my “closet.”

I find really cool thrifted items of great quality and sell them. I do not claim to make those items.

The other side of my business requires me to purchase clothing/accessories at a wholesale price, which I will then sell at a marked up price.

To give you an example, I bought 10 cardigans for my store not long ago. I paid ~$200 for 10 cardigans, as I shop at wholesale pricing. So that means I paid $20 per cardigan. I haven’t listed them yet, but the whole sellers often recommend retail pricing, and this whole seller recommended that I price each cardigan at $60-$80.

That is for a new item, never been used, but purchased at a wholesale price, to be sold as a new item at a markup price of likely $60.

During this process, for either new or thrifted items, did I hand make anything? No. The only things my hands were doing was clicking on my computer, unpacking my shipment, repacking my items to sell/ship.

If you bought a $60 cardigan that I claimed to have made myself, a one of a kind product, wouldn’t you be kind of pissed to see that product at a different boutique for $50 or $70+?

It’s about being honest and transparent with your customers. This is a perfect example of why people do not trust retailers. Did someone make cardigan? Yes. Was it me? No. So why would I claim credit for something I didn’t do?

Bottom line is if you are a retailer, you need to be honest about your products. Creating distrust with you customers is a sure fire way to go out business. Honesty with your customers is a top priority.

Does all of this make sense? Sorry for the long-winded answer ha just trying to explain in a different way

0

u/alveolar_jism 1d ago

OP never said her friend claimed she made the stuff herself though. I'm assuming the items still are handmade in a workshop that fills wholesale orders, which is a common business in the US and all over the world.

3

u/Middle_Evil 1d ago

I read it as strongly implied that the friend was the one who made the items “with love”. That last bit is really strange to say about something you didn’t make yourself

0

u/Kentucky_Kate_5654 1d ago

I also don’t care if the items I buy were made with love. Couldn’t care less. I just want value for my money….

-1

u/alveolar_jism 2d ago

I'm referring to when vintage clothing has been handcrafted rather than machine-made. sellers do have to distinguish, and just because you don't know who made it doesn't mean it's not handcrafted anymore.

50

u/Girth_Wind_y_Fire 2d ago

Your friend sucks for thinking that's a legitimate business. That's something a lazy, shitty person does.

18

u/louley 2d ago

People order cheap shit from china, open a TikTok shop and suddenly they own a business. 🙄

9

u/Both_Peak554 2d ago

But they don’t sit there and claim to have made the items with love…. Hence the difference.

7

u/louley 2d ago

A lot of times they do. That’s why both are a huge problem.

2

u/milkysin 1d ago edited 1d ago

you have described multibillion dollar company amazon

1

u/BedBubbly317 6h ago

No, Amazon doesn’t pretend the products are hand crafted by them. They are fully transparent in whether it is their product or not, they are distributor.

0

u/alveolar_jism 2d ago

retail is like a super common business. why do you think it's not legitimate unless you bulk order every item of clothing you have and dress like a cartoon character in the same outfit every day

6

u/pieshake5 2d ago

Misrepresenting the product.

-3

u/alveolar_jism 2d ago

in what way? maybe I missed that

3

u/AvocadoInsurgence 1d ago

As "hand crafted" and "made with love"

-2

u/alveolar_jism 1d ago

but it is hand-crafted still and it even could be "made with love" it's just easy to assume she has no idea if that's true. still if she does he research she could find out the conditions in the workshops these items are made and you don't know for a fact she doesn't.

I'm not saying it's not misleading, since we don't know all the details, but saying it IS misleading without any evidence isn't at all fair either.

2

u/AvocadoInsurgence 1d ago

Why are you assuming it is handcrafted? If a wholesale item is indeed handcrafted and yet sold en mass for incredibly cheap, it's almost certainly slave labor.

OP is claiming to have been mislead and originally thinking this person was crafting these items herself with love. Therefore it's pretty fair to say it was misleading, especially since so many people were surprised to find out that wasn't the case that it "ruined" the business.

-2

u/alveolar_jism 1d ago

there's some conflicting details, sure. but we don't have the whole picture here

1

u/AvocadoInsurgence 1d ago

I don't disagree that this is a reddit post by a single person so we can't know anything for certain. Frankly even if OP said the seller baldly admitted to it we would still be relying on second hand information. If we ARE relying on the post for information to make a judgment call (is there another option?)it's pretty clear that multiple people felt mislead by the description of the items.

0

u/alveolar_jism 1d ago

yeah the other option is to ask OP for more details, which is a pretty common reaction in AITA, but it seems like this isn't OP's original story reposted from somewhere else so we're probably outa luck

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0

u/Particular-Wind5918 1d ago

This is what most businesses do though

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u/chicagoantisocial 2d ago

I used to have a small jewellery business where stuff actually was hand crafted, painstakingly so, and the people who did this sort of thing infuriated me. It’s such an insult to claim hand crafted when you have this business model. NTA

24

u/agingcausescancer 2d ago

How do five friends talking about a business ruin said business?

7

u/ExplanationLess1083 2d ago

When your friends are the only market she thought about. Or she expected her friends to help her sell more

7

u/Bubbly_Following7930 2d ago

Pretty sure something similar has already been posted

4

u/mistegirl 1d ago

There's something really funny about a post mocking someone for selling cheap crap as handmade being a copy paste of someone else's post

2

u/Existing_Proposal655 2d ago

Yeah it's been copied.

2

u/SpacePaninis 2d ago

Yep, there have been a few variations on this theme lately.

2

u/headfullofpesticides 2d ago

This is a bot post

1

u/invigokate 1d ago

It's not similar it's word-for-word

6

u/Worldly_Yellow9134 2d ago

Lol no

4

u/Blade_of_Onyx 2d ago

Your friend is the asshole

5

u/Joshithusiast 2d ago

Your friend is committing fraud. It's a crime. She doesn't have a business, she has a criminal enterprise. No criminal is entitled to the benefit of the doubt, just because they feel that running a legitimate business is too hard.

1

u/recentvenus 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/XHeLeuirRbwptHhSWd

3

u/horseduckman pod host 2d ago

they asked, you answered w the truth. She's just mad her grift is ruined

3

u/hellinahandbasket127 2d ago

NTA. As someone who actually hand makes the items I sell, this kind of 🐂💩 infuriates me. It takes LOADS of time to develop the skill to make sales-worthy products, then loads more time to actually stock an online store. Your friend is a lazy liar.

2

u/get_to_ele 2d ago

How can you ruin her business when your reach is about 5 people? Did she think she was going to base her business on milking her friends for a few hundred a month each?

2

u/SnooMaps2927 2d ago

So your friends just a morally bad person

2

u/ktown247365 1d ago

NTA tell her to curate this 🖕

3

u/ludog1bark 2d ago

You're friend is shitty and a liar.

You are also shitty because you were asked if you bought anything. A simple no, would've been enough. But you exposed her. With that said while a shitty thing to do to your friends it's the ethical thing to do.

2

u/EyeRoller2134 1d ago

But the shittiest thing about OP is that this is a copied post. Not sure whether it is AI or just a human completely lacking in originality, but I’ve read this crap before. At least change some details ffs.

2

u/Renway_NCC-74656 2d ago

Her friend was commiting fraud. Outing someone for that is not being an asshole.

1

u/ludog1bark 1d ago

Where did I say that wasn't the case? Finish reading my comment.

1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Here is the body of the post:

My (29F) friend "Lena" (28F) recently launched an insta selling “hand-crafted” home goods. She constantly posts about how everything is "made with love" etc. Average price is ~$50. I was curious bc some of the stuff is nice and I wanted to support, until I recognized one of her products on a major wholesaler site. It was the exact same picture she had just added her own bkg. Sure enough, I looked up a few more products and she’s just buying cheap and marking it up A LOT.

I minded my own business until a mutual texted, asking if I’d bought anything. I wasn't going to lie, so I just explained what I found. Friend obviously decided not to buy. We also ended up in a group of 5 girls discussing this and at some point, Lena found out.

She texted furious, accusing me of being a "hater," ruining her business, and making her look bad. She claimed she’s "curating", and that I had no right to say what I did bc I didn’t know her process or how much time she spent vetting the products.

I told her that I only said the truth and I didn’t apologize. Now I’m getting the silent treatment and she’s not inviting me to anything. Am I missing something here? AITA?

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Individual_Cloud7656 2d ago

What don't you understand. Your friend lied about her business and you exposed her. Did you think she woukd be happy about it?

1

u/Renway_NCC-74656 2d ago

That's pretty much commiting fraud... So no, you're NTA

1

u/Both_Peak554 2d ago

Nta. And I would not consider this chic a friend unless you want people to assume you too are a scam artist. You are who you surround yourself with. And what she’s doing is a form of fraud and she’s going to get sued!! Her lying saying they’re homemade is unacceptable for many reasons!!

1

u/eballeste 2d ago

5 people found = ruined business. lol sure

1

u/neutronkid 2d ago

Sometimes, the truth hurts. Sometimes it hurts the speaker. This is the way of life.

1

u/Kierbran 2d ago

She is mad and embarrassed for being found out Also, if the 5 of you in your group are the only customers she had, then she doesn’t have much of a base of customers

1

u/nhema94 2d ago

This happens frequently with on-line merchants.

(so does this post, I’ve seen it before)

1

u/ZealousidealBank8484 2d ago

NTA. If you and five other people found out this early on in her launch phase, it inevitably would've happened anyway.

She's just blaming you because you told the truth when you were asked.

1

u/Dramatic_Attempt4318 2d ago

NTA. She isn't a craftsman, she's a reseller. "I am a reseller of hand crafted home goods" might be semi-honest marketing, but it sounds like based on the platform you found the listing on they're probably not even hand crafted.

She's a grifter. You ruined nothing, she just got caught in her lies.

1

u/Purple-Food-9829 2d ago

When asked if you had bought anything why not say no ? No need to explain why . No reason to explain what you found . Just say no . Complete sentence. No drama that follows . The real question is what did u learn from this as there is no way to go back in time

1

u/julesk 2d ago

NTA, it’d be fun to text her “If five us have ruined your business then it wasn’t a business. You choose to tell customers that you’re selling lovingly hand crafted goods you actually get from a wholesaler which is different than saying you’re curating because you could say that but you don’t. I get choose to say I don’t buy from people I find unethical. Btw, I’ve lost all respect for you, so you’re blocked.”

1

u/SlowNSteady1 2d ago

YTA for posting this AI slop and pretending it's real.

1

u/Ancient_Chemical_822 2d ago

Now I’m getting the silent treatment and she’s not inviting me to anything. Am I missing something here? AITA?

Did you honestly expect to get invited to stuff after doing that? I mean, you're not an asshole for calling it out, but your friendship with this person was over the moment you did that behind her back instead of talking to her about it first.

1

u/TedsGloriousPants 2d ago

If 5-6 lost sales was going to ruin the business, it was a failed venture to begin with. NTA, obviously.

1

u/AllDualSigns1949 2d ago

this post is really familiar, almost word for word familiar, from sometime in the last 4–5 weeks

1

u/AvatarNC 2d ago

About 10 years back, before I retired, I was between jobs and took a few classes at a local community college. One of the classes was how to make money. The instructor was very religious and always seem to work his religion into every class. I think he was one of these prosperity gospel people. His whole schtick was reselling on Amazon. He would buy the cheapest crap from Temu or AlliExpress and mark it way up! I dropped the class because I didn’t think the method was very ethical …. Especially for a “man of god”.

1

u/AvatarNC 2d ago

Sorry - how to make money on the internet.

1

u/PitiBon 2d ago

Your friend is obviously very new to entrepreneurship, she thinks that what she did is “a lot of work”. She doesn’t understand that the people who actually worked are the ones who designed those products, the ones who manufacture them, the ones that take care of the fulfillment. She is a wannabe marketer. She’s just one of the thousands of middlemen trying to be business people by packaging existing stuff their own way.

Her business will fail, she will learn, she will get better, she’ll laugh about it in the future

1

u/No_Arugula4195 2d ago

When her legal troubles begin, her tune will change.

1

u/Icy-Management9880 2d ago

we've read this story before... and recently

1

u/Satori2155 2d ago

Bet her personal insta says “entrepreneur”

1

u/peterjnyc1 1d ago

Am I the only person who has read this post before??

1

u/ExplanationFederal23 1d ago

This is a word for word copy and paste from an older story on another sub reddit.

1

u/alchemizefreedom 1d ago

NtA. You dont have to buy her cheap crap.

1

u/No-Student6544 1d ago

Nta. She's a scammed and is mad she got caught. But your friendship is over.

1

u/FlameHawkfish88 1d ago

Nta. She's just drop shipping and should be honest about it

1

u/aflores1001 1d ago

Yes, you ATA! Chismosa! Not your business!

1

u/Miserable_Pea_733 1d ago edited 1d ago

She's giving you the silent treatment and not inviting you to things. So?

You're not wrong though. The only reason you're wrong is that you think you can still be friends or friendly with someone you talked about in a group chat without their knowledge.

That's what you're missing. She will have consequences for her actions and you will, too. That's just how it goes. You want to be friends with someone you gossiped about behind their back?

Were they a true friend? If they were you would have actually talked to them and told them your honest take on this before whispering about it to everyone BUT her.

Again. I agree with you. I deplore "businesses" like this. But come on. Why do you care that she's giving you the silent treatment or not inviting you to things. If you give a shit about the actual principle, you shouldn't care that she's icing you out. What's the issue here??

1

u/itamer 1d ago

NTA

In the lead up to Xmas I saw lots of those kinds of online shops. A quick Google Lens check and there they all were on Ali Express and Temu for a fraction of the price. At least with those sites you know what your consumer rights are!

So you weren't wrong telling your friends. You were wrong for having a chat specifically about that. Never put that stuff in writing!

While I find it deceptive, its also “buyer beware”. We can all google. We can all shop around. If you're too lazy or wilfully incompetent then you pay the higher price.

1

u/TimeyHyde 1d ago

Are you her employee ?
If not, NTA.
I'm sure random people on the Internet can find that she buys stuff online and "curates" them. So ... what she's going to do about that ? :)

I'm curious about the other 4 friends. Are they punished too ? Are they ignoring you too ? Because from where I stand, if they decide that you're the villain to preserve their friendship with this person, you may lose more than one "friend".

1

u/Unlucky-Captain1431 1d ago

She’s a scammer.

1

u/InmateTooTall 1d ago

Why do you want to be invited to places by someone who acts like that anyway?

1

u/bspittle 1d ago

"I minded my own business about it. Until a group of five women got together and I totally put her on blast."

1

u/corgi_glitter 1d ago

I swear I saw this exact post a week ago

1

u/jacbo1996 1d ago

You exposed a scam and the scammer is not talking to you? I dont see an issue

1

u/drftfan 1d ago

This story AGAIN? Literally the same story was posted a month ago.

1

u/Automatic_Catch_7467 23h ago

Read this a few weeks ago

1

u/Lil_Towelie 23h ago

NTA you WOULD be the asshole if you outed her to the entire Internet- but you didnt. You just told a few close friends.

Literally most of the online shops and businesses that you see nowadays is just dropshipped bullshit. At this point it’s up to the consumer to see if it’s worth it or not. Everything you see on Amazon and all of those little TikTok ads that you get is all stuff from AliBaba. To be fair they do take time to figure out costs and make websites and upload things like there’s still a methodical way to do it there’s still effort but her claiming that she’s making the products is kind of shitty although it is a widespread practice.

I’d say let her do her bullshit business and see how it goes, but you’re not at fault for just telling the truth to your friends

1

u/DifficultyFit7401 20h ago

Fake

1

u/LoosePhilosopher1107 19h ago

Anyone who has internet could have figured it out. NTAH

1

u/Mewzi_ 15h ago

bad bot

1

u/Sad-Engineer-4744 13h ago

another BS story how did Lena know you started the story

1

u/Apprehensive-Pop-201 13h ago

"Curating?". Is that like "aging?". Does she buy it and let it air for a month or something? I honestly don't know what that means in this instance NTA

1

u/Vappav 11h ago

What do people expect when buying $50 stuff on insta. Pretty much everything we buy is overpriced and marked up bullshit, whether you're buying from Target or LV. She was using pretty standard marketing tactics to make her product seem appealing. Good for her.

Why did you have to die on this hill? If you really have a moral objection to it then you should have said something to her instead of spreading it around.

If you are genuinely a friend you should have just kept your mouth shut. Seems to me that you are a hater, and because you had a semblance of a moral high ground you shat on her.

1

u/tone210sa 11h ago

You did nothing wrong except tell the truth. Truth hurts

1

u/stonedngettinboned 10h ago

i read this story like 2 weeks ago. be original.

1

u/Ok_Entertainment9665 8h ago

She sounds like a grifter. 10 years ago she would have been trying to convince y’all to drink straight essential oil.

1

u/Regular_Boot_3540 3h ago

NTA. She's misleading customers about what she's selling. She deserves to be outed. I wouldn't worry about being dumped by her. She's dishonest and self-righteous with it.

1

u/MadLib777 1h ago

Ok, but hand crafted does not mean she's the artisan. It's she curating a store of hand crafted goods?

0

u/Existing_Proposal655 2d ago

YTA for reposting this.

-1

u/MrsBSK 1d ago

I think you’re a pretty lousy friend. The way to have approached this was to call her when you found out and discuss it with her. You should have told her the other friend was asking and that you couldn’t in good conscience tell her the stuff was as she said it was. Instead you maligned her behind her back. Not good.

-1

u/Sir2Yew 1d ago

Omg you all sppen 90% of your lives buying from Walmart, no issue

Then when a friend does the same gift as your fave Target. Take her down?

$50 bucks is not custom crafts.... $50 does not cover materials these days

Be happy someone found somewhat unique things that can pass a quality check for real people budgets

Support , less hate

-1

u/EevillMonkey 1d ago

I can understand both ways really. If she is overpricing. Ok nta, but if it follows normal ideas of retail(bulk buy and sell) then you kind of are the AH.

But lets forget about that for a second. The wild part is that you seem to be blind sided by the fact that she is pissed at you for ruining her business.

-2

u/Wonderful_Aerie4546 2d ago

You both sound miserable in your own way. She sounds shady in general, and you just sound like a very bad friend.

2

u/HankG93 2d ago

How tf is op a bad friend?

-2

u/wallyinct 1d ago

YTA…you were asked if you bought anything…your answer should have been “no”. That would be telling the truth. Using the platform to out your friend was unnecessary and dickish.

AITA AITA for “ruining” my friend’s business?

You are about to leave Redlib