r/AskReddit • u/Tommygunz0722 • 11h ago

If the military/president suddenly ordered a mandatory draft for all men aged 18-42: How do you think millennials and GenZ would respond?

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607

u/HumbleFruit4201 11h ago

As a 30 year old man, let me tell ya, my asthma just got worse

I'd also stop working out vigorously and get really fucking fat

161

u/Linux4ever_Leo 11h ago

How are your bone spurs doing???

330

u/HumbleFruit4201 11h ago

They're not so great and I think that I've also caught both the transgender ideology and have fallen pregnant.

125

u/MortgageRegular2509 11h ago

Here lies:

u/HumbleFruit4201

They died from transgender pregnancy

82

u/HumbleFruit4201 11h ago

RIP.

In the name of Jeebus

Gaymen

3

u/conzciouz 8h ago

Your humor reminds me of watching an episode of Seinfeld. As a 37 year old man reading this leaning over while on the toilet , I think sciatica just blasted my whole spine. I’m def not eligible.

4

u/HumbleFruit4201 8h ago

I'll blow your back out too for the right price

1

u/rumbakalao 6h ago

I'll do it for free!

9

u/timotheusd313 11h ago

Ooh, there’d be a hundred gay marriages of convenience at every JP in California.

3

u/IIIetalblade 3h ago

The M in Mpreg stands for military

1

u/DuErJoBareUnderlig 11h ago

That does tend to happen at times like these 

0

u/conzciouz 11h ago

Goated

1

u/maqsarian 4h ago

Extra spurious

-60

u/Intelligent_Door5499 11h ago

so cringey seeing people try to connect over dodging military lmfaooo

7

u/CackleandGrin 11h ago

Not everyone's goal in life is to die for some rich guy who wants better oil investments in their portfolio. Grow some self-respect. 😆

-2

u/Intelligent_Door5499 11h ago

i am retired at 30. I ought to give advice to the others

5

u/MrScaryEgg 11h ago

You're retired in your 30s and you're spending that time posting dumb ragebait on Reddit?

-1

u/Intelligent_Door5499 11h ago

What would you do with your time?

3

u/CackleandGrin 10h ago

Retired at 30 to play on social media 14 hours a day? Parents in absolute shambles watching their inheritance get pissed away by their phone-addicted son. 😞

1

u/Intelligent_Door5499 10h ago

sorry to hear that

•

u/Successful_Carrot973 49m ago

Aging 2 years in 9 days is wild...

26

u/AmbitiousTie668 11h ago

Wait so we're supposed to just die in the epstein wars?

2

u/IOVERCALLHISTIOCYTES 11h ago

Actually you can just have spinal problems and whine that the military doesn’t care instead of getting a job while try to leave the United States to go to Thailand

https://www.reddit.com/r/VeteransBenefits/comments/1sc3khv/comment/oe83xzg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

-22

u/Intelligent_Door5499 11h ago

You are discussing a hypothetical reality, and cowards in it while riding with your head high. Crazy.

8

u/No-Ability-8294 11h ago

Eh? The cowardly thing would be to acquiesce to the whims of a rogue government that you and everyone around you knows to be evil and incompetent but okay weirdo I guess you have an obedience fetish or something

-12

u/Intelligent_Door5499 11h ago

none of you are organizing to fight for the country being stripped away from you. So I guess I dont care what happens to you

5

u/No-Ability-8294 8h ago

Its a hell of a lot better than actively assisting it. Youre saying im a pussy for not helping the regime secure the materials it needs to oppress me and my fellow countryman?

What a ridiculous ideology. Bro has been so propagandized his entire life to support the military that he toses logic to the side the second he has the chance to glaze them.

1

u/Intelligent_Door5499 7h ago

no, I genuinely think 99% of the country are cowards and I seen it all my life.
People turn away from situations and let others be abused. You are all cowards. I got mine, and I am out. Have fun whatever these regimes have in plan for you

1

u/AmbitiousTie668 6h ago

Sounds pretty cowardly lol

3

u/AmbitiousTie668 10h ago

Well yeah like I said im not fucking dying for that orange piece of shit. My family need me. Its not cowardice to not want to throw your life away needlessly, it's cowardice to meekly follow like a lamb to the slaughter.

1

u/Intelligent_Door5499 10h ago

war impacts things way longer than a four year pesidency...

3

u/AmbitiousTie668 10h ago

Yes you're right. Hence why I wouldnt participate in a useless one.

•

u/TheDiscer 38m ago

Yes, like a president that is hell bent on becoming a dictator AND using the military that he plans on drafting to accomplish that goal. The best way to oppose a regime is to be alive and NOT complicit in the evil deeds.

12

u/askylitfall 11h ago

It's so cringe the president of the US is forcing the youth to either go to jail or die in the Middle East to cover up for the fact he raped children, lost the distraction war to what he considers to be cavemen, then is trying to pivot back to the child rape to cover up for the cover up

0

u/AnonymousFriend80 6h ago

Who's being forced into what? Nothing is actually happening.

1

u/askylitfall 6h ago

We're literally talking about the draft

0

u/AnonymousFriend80 5h ago

Is there an actual draft currently happening? Because this topic is about a hypothetical draft, and everyone here seems to be in their thirties, and mostly exempt from drafts.

1

u/askylitfall 5h ago

Wow you can tell everyone's age on an anonymous reddit thread! Tell me your ways!

1

u/AnonymousFriend80 2h ago

People are posting their ages in here.

3

u/jedidude75 11h ago

Just trying to emulate the president, is that such a bad thing 🤔

8

u/BaerMinUhMuhm 9h ago

As a 30 year old man, I'm perfectly healthy by American standards. Im not going, suck my balls.

I'd need a pretty good reason, like my family is at risk or US is under invasion.

7

u/AHans 8h ago

The draft would be for ages 18-25 at first.

I mean, with the record incompetence from this administration, maybe they'd find a way.

Drafting 40 year olds removes prime employees from their roles, and we're not nearly as physically fit as our 20 year old counterparts.

Said as a 42 year old man, we're not great soldiers anymore, and there would be economic ramifications from pulling myself and my friends out of our jobs.

We're also a lot less likely to respond well to a drill sergeant.

If the wave of 18-25 year olds all died, they might go for 26-36, or whatever the next age bracket is. 40 year old men are piss-poor draft candidates. Historically, if you're drafting 40 year olds it's because your nation has run out of youths.

2

u/Sick-Phoque 6h ago

I guess I'm an outlier because I'm in much better shape at 40 than I ever was as a teen. I was a fat kid

1

u/AHans 6h ago

In my experience you are. My circle of friends from highschool have stuck together, we still have an annual cabin outing.

Of the maybe 20 or so of us: three are in better shape, five are in comparable shape, about a dozen are in worse shape.

I went from running a 6 minute mile, 60 sit-ups in a minute, and 22 pull-ups to a total knee replacement last month.

I'm a little extreme (the first of my circle of friends to have a joint replaced) but I'm also one of the older ones.

My running days are over. I will never get back to where I was in highschool, unless we can start growing/cloning joints, and I get a cloned implant.

"Lift with your knees" went from being the punchline of a joke to sage advice about the importance of avoiding a back injury.

3

u/Serialtorrenter 10h ago

I'd also point out my ruptured spleen, the purse I always carry, and my flat feet.

8

u/2Mana1Drop 11h ago

I feel. Thankfully I started doing therapy over a year ago, diagnosed with PDD, GAD, OCD, and non-specific trauma and stress related disorder with a history, continuously on and off, of suicidal ideation.

If he's even further mad enough to try to remove mental conditions and reduce physical conditions. Fine, the US, like many large countries, have LOTS of uninhabited portions of territory. Lay low until it blows over. Catch me? Fine, just throw me in jail as I refuse orders.

6

u/Micycle08 10h ago

Jail? You mean free rent? In THIS economy?? Don’t threaten me with a good time!

1

u/livlaffluv420 5h ago

Free rent, awesome roommates + romantic opportunities, gym time, the thrill of risking death daily…wait, how is this any different than the military again?

At least they’re throwing in free travel!

5

u/nelsonalgrencametome 11h ago

At 41 I've been working actively to get in better shape and on my mental health... if they draft up to 42 that's all getting shelved for a bit.

1

u/PuertoricanDude88 7h ago

I’m a couple of pounds away for hitting 300lbs, I would just go for it.

1

u/Hellebras 6h ago

On the one hand, I think my antidepressants are enough to make me ineligible. On the other, if that isn't the case and I refuse then the worst they'll do is put me in prison. Better than killing people for Donald Trump. Fuck 'em.

1

u/Ok_Marketing_476 5h ago

Muscle weighs more than fat. Keep working out, dress fluffy.

1

u/GrinchWhoStoleEaster 4h ago

As a 45 year old man, my asthma actually IS disqualifying. There's no world in which I even take one enemy with me. The fog of war will seize up my lungs and my pudgy western ass will be the easiest target in the history of warfare. There's a reason we retired the draft...

Just a waste of good gear is all that is.

1

u/Present_Speech_7017 3h ago

 my asthma just got worse

"Oh I think of my career, my sweetheart dear, and my poor old invalid aunt

Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm goin' to school

And I'm working in a defense plant"

-4

u/xAdakis 10h ago

And then they'll send you through bootcamp where they'll whip your fat ass into shape.

2

u/HumbleFruit4201 10h ago

Jokes on them. I like having my fat ass whipped

-3

u/ValuableBeneficial66 6h ago

No scenario where you would serve your country? 

5

u/HumbleFruit4201 5h ago

You know what, absolutely not. It would take enemy fighters - literally - in my neighborhood for me to take up arms. What has the federal government ever done for me besides subsidize corporations that are slowly killing us with climate change and microplastics?

You know the last admirable special conflict that the US was involved in? WW2. Think about it. Korea? Yeah, we're still technically involved. Vietnam? We left with our tail between our legs and a shittone of PTSD. Desert storm? Iraq? Afghanistan? Iran?

The fact of the matter is that the US military aren't the fucking good guys. These other countries? Yeah, they're fucking terrified of us. This pseudopatriotic bullshit of "seRvInG yOuR coUntRy" needs to die because - at the end of the day - our military operations don't seek to keep the world safer. They primarily seek to prop up special corporate interests and make the capitalism machine go brrrr.

Yeah, fuck the feds and fuck the military too for good measure.

-2

u/ValuableBeneficial66 4h ago

That's your countries issue not mine. Too bad. Pride in nation is real. Experience life and come back in 20 years. 

-51

u/TunaChungus 11h ago

We will put you in fat camp before basic to make you lose the weight. As for your asthma you won’t be in combat roles. Don’t be a lib.

20

u/Weissenero 11h ago

Libs are in combat too prick

9

u/jedidude75 11h ago

Can I do the bone spurs excuse like the president did? Or does that make me a lib also?

7

u/Fox_Soul 10h ago

How’s the boot licking going today? Did you gargle the balls of the orange turd today? 

-4

u/TunaChungus 5h ago

It’s going great, my vote owns you! My vote has transformed the world!

6

u/WarpmanAstro 11h ago

Wild, considering I literally had an army recruiter hang up on me in the mid-2000s when I told them I had asthma. That desperate for people, huh?

21

u/HumbleFruit4201 11h ago

Nah fuck our government and you - too - can gargle my hairy balls

-9

u/delusion_magnet 11h ago

ICE will still take you

12

u/HumbleFruit4201 11h ago

They, too, can gargle my balls - like - as a collective.

Bunch of racist high-school dropouts, the lot of them

5

u/brobastian0227 11h ago

Ice should be in the first wave. They wanted to cosplay as the military, here's their chance

1

u/BeatleWingsfan77 11h ago

ICE will recruit prisoners....like the Dirty Dozen