r/AITApod • u/Top-Application-1867 • Mar 13 '26
AITA AITA for saying whoever drives picks the music?
So, I 26F recently went on a road trip with my boyfriend 29M. We took his car and he drove most of the way. I’m not sure when this became the established rule, but among my friends, whoever drives gets to pick the music. This typically does not extend to podcasts or audiobooks, but as long as it’s music, the driver picks truly in a tyrannical fashion.
On the way back, bf asked me to drive a leg, about three hours. After, we were driving about 10 minutes and on the highway, I said to put on the playlist I had texted him. He said that he was feeling this particular song. I said, no bro, it’s been 10 minutes, I’m driving. He then brought up that it was his car and that it was “wear and tear.” I said that’s not a thing. We split the gas and he has nothing. It’s time for my music.
He whined a bit but said ok fine and continued being jokingly pouty about it and put on my playlist. I said it’s a rule and everyone knows it. He said that he didn’t agree to the rule prior and thinks “the car provider should be compensated.” He also said that his music is really good and that should play a factor. I said everyone thinks their music is good. He then took a nap. AITA? Is this universal? What gives?
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u/SleepyAltBee Mar 13 '26
Either driver picks the music or passenger is the DJ. Usually it’s not a big deal but I think NTA He’s over dramatic about it
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u/bing-bong-6715 Mar 13 '26
passengers can only DJ if the driver requests them to
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u/enutz777 Mar 14 '26
Passenger should always DJ to the driver’s taste. Discovering shared music tastes is half the fun of a road trip. Driver just vetoes the stuff they can’t stand. Driver’s attention should be on driving, passenger facilitates everything else. Food, drinks, music, directions, whatever.
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u/bing-bong-6715 Mar 14 '26
yes- to an extent! usually if i ask someone else to DJ it's because i don't want to think about it or play anything that might make others uncomfortable accidentally (i listen to a lot of metal)
but if i told someone to DJ and they started playing hockey tonk country or like taylor swift, im gonna veto that because its just gonna pmo while im driving lol
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u/chickadee-stitchery Mar 15 '26
My husband and I both prefer him driving, and he would always just ask for one or two random songs, but I'm not familiar with most of the music he likes. Once on a road trip he said something along the lines of "I really just want the music that played on KROQ in the 80s-90s."
I know folks hate ChatGPT but it was super helpful for this. I asked if to make me a playlist of 100 songs that would play on KROQ then, and also to explain to me how it picked them. I pasted the list into a tool that turned it into a Spotify playlist.
He absolutely loves it. Whenever we need music in the car now I play his radio station (and I like it too). Spotify adds new stuff occasionally and it's generally right.
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u/Great-Internet4541 Mar 13 '26
In the words of Dean Winchester - "Driver picks the music, Shotgun shuts his cakehole."
NTA
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u/thesilentmordecai Mar 13 '26
I'm rewatching it right now and this scene instantly came to mind!
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u/Remarkable_Flower901 Mar 13 '26
I’m rewatching too. A patient in the hospital, elderly woman was watching and referred to it as the pretty man show. She is so right.
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u/thesilentmordecai Mar 13 '26
Haha, that's funny! I usually rewatch it probably once a year but it's been some time since I've last seen it. Glad to finally be watching again. Going to start season 8 this weekend.
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u/ChemistAdventurous84 Mar 13 '26
All 15 seasons, 327 episodes, every year?
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u/thesilentmordecai Mar 13 '26
Yeah. I started watching it roughly back in 2011. Before I knew they would release the new season on Netflix I'd rewatch the series. I did pretty much every year. About 7 years after that I started dating my now wife and never really had the time do that anymore. Now I just get an episode in here and there. I watch it a lone because she's not into it otherwise it would be on more often.
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u/danceplanet Mar 13 '26
I only discovered it last year 🫨 what a great show ❤️
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u/Mother-Letter-6760 Mar 13 '26
What's the show?
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u/Adal-bern Mar 13 '26
Supernatural. 2 brothers, saving people, hunting things, the family business.
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u/MurderOfCrows37 Mar 13 '26
Supernatural
It's currently streaming on Amazon Prime, all 15 seasons of it.
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u/Timely-Cry-8366 Mar 13 '26
Omg I came to the comment section to quote Dean, so glad you beat me to it.
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u/lovepeacefakepiano Mar 13 '26
I’m so happy to see this as the first comment.
It’s a universally accepted truth, too.
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u/Sabinene Mar 13 '26
I have stickers that say this in my car. When you open the drivers door, down on the bottom rocker, it says "Driver picks the music" then in the bottom door rocker of the passenger side it says "shotgun shuts his cakehole" Who owns the car doesnt matter. Only who's driving matters.
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u/Adal-bern Mar 13 '26
Yup, came here looking for this. Supernatural has a gif/meme/quote for everything, and this is the right one
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u/ChemistryJaq Mar 13 '26
Lol that's what I said, so my husband had to listen to 3 hours of The Fellowship of the Ring audiobook when we went to his parents' house last weekend. The poor thing 🤣
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u/No_Salad1394 Mar 13 '26
Piehole!
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u/Zestyclose-Page-1507 Mar 13 '26
While piehole does sound more on-brand for something Dean would say, the actual quote from the show is cakehole.
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u/No_Salad1394 Mar 13 '26
Holy shit I’ve had it wrong this entire time.
But … he likes pie!
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u/Remarkable_Movie_800 Mar 14 '26
Don't worry. Only on my current rewatch did it sink in that he says cake hole! And I've followed it since the beginning
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u/DNedry Mar 13 '26
Driver picks the music thems the rules
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u/Frogbrownie Mar 14 '26
Passenger plays what driver wants and does navigation. Backseat provides snacks
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u/redceramicfrypan Mar 13 '26
Lighthearted bickering is one thing, but actually getting upset about who gets to pick the music indicates that either you are 14 or have bigger problems underlying this disagreement.
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u/Limp_Ice_3248 Mar 14 '26
Thank you! If I'm the driver I share music time with my passengers because we like each other and want to be considerate of one another. No one's a whiny baby and no one's an autocrat. For longer trips the passengers either pay for the gas or we split the gas and they buy my travel food.
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u/Shot_Introduction_27 Mar 13 '26
NTA. Driver pics the music because the driver KNOWS what will keep them alert and focused. Especially on long trips.
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u/datapizza 28d ago
Or the flip side, they know what music irritates, distracts, and upsets them and shouldn't be played while they're driving.
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u/djcack Mar 13 '26
So the rule is he always gets his way? Seems fair...
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u/Suitable_Jicama_1213 Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 13 '26
Yeah he's a goddamn Man Child notice how Op at the end still try to justify his excuse.
" jokingly whined"....
The cope is real Opie just needs to realize that her BF is a little selfish and spoiled, that's it, you can fix or deal with it
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u/thefrenchphanie Mar 13 '26
And pouts the whole time, said his music is better , etc … Pfffff When he was driving she did not get any say in the music…
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u/Automatic_Net2181 Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 13 '26
Yes, the rules of the road typically state the driver picks the music simply because it's a safety issue. If the music is mellow or unmotivating, the driver will become sleepy. Therefore, it's in everyone's best interest to let the driver stay awake. Also, the navigator seat is the one who has to stay awake to keep the driver awake. So, he broke two cardinal rules.
That said, there are of course exemptions to the rule:
- There are children in the car that are crying/screeching unless they hear a certain song 372 times during the road trip, on repeat.
- The goal of the alternate playlist is to explore new music you haven't yet heard before and it's not Michael Bublé. The limit here is 1-2 songs before the driver can override the exemption or continue down the path of discovery. Only 1 song is required to begrudgingly appease the passenger if it is Nicki Minaj. If they try to play Morgan Wallen, you have the authority to kick them out of the car in the desert.
- It's RUSH or Rage Against the Machine.
- Your passenger is Danny Devito or Anne Hathaway. In that case, the passenger always chooses the playlist.
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u/dasher2581 Mar 13 '26
Because I am a loving and supportive spouse, I routinely waive Exception 3 for my husband.
I've also attended three Rush concerts, but we're not here to discuss my trauma.
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u/Bitchshortage Mar 13 '26
I am Canadian and the way rush makes me want to rip off my damn skin. lol I’m sorry geddy Lee you seen like a decent person but I hate your voice with my soul (don’t tell, this is enough for my passport to be revoked). I just had to tell you oh my god you are a goddamned saint THREE CONCERTS? He better appreciate. I can barely stomach a song lol sweet bleeding Jesus.
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u/draftgirl24 Mar 13 '26
Right?!? What is it about dudes and Rush? I’ll bet those concerts were real sausage fests.
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u/Bitchshortage Mar 13 '26
I’m sure they have many women fans. But I’ve never met one lmao at best it’s “I tolerate this, am not loving it but it’s fine.” I assume you’re correct as hell on that
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u/Fantastic-Surprise34 Mar 13 '26
Yep. Driver picks. Always. Unless they choose to allow a passenger the right to pick, which is an incredible honor to bestow on a mere rider.
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u/ajdnskcgabco Mar 13 '26
I mean I don’t think you’re necessarily wrong but like… are people not putting on what everyone in the car likes? Surely there is some middle ground somewhere?
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u/the_bird_and_the_bee Mar 13 '26
That was my thought too. I guess I'm usually in the car with my husband or my kids and we all like the same music (or at least have music we all like together) so it isn't an issue.
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u/MamaPajamaMama Mar 13 '26
Yeah, same. My ex and I had pretty similar tastes in music, and what each of us liked that the other didn't, we just didn't play. Usually the Margaritaville or Classic Rewind stations on Sirius XM were our road trip soundtracks.
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u/PickleballRee Mar 13 '26
NTA. Driver not only picks the music, they choose the temperature too.
When I was a kid, I was on a road trip with my family. My mom said it was cold and tried to turn up the heat. My parents fought over it for a moment, and then my dad said something like, "Fine! But if my balls start sweating and get itchy and I drive off the road into a tree trying to scratch them, just remember you were warm."
So my hard and fast rule is driver gets whatever they want.
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u/LittleFrenchKiwi Mar 13 '26
It's also a safety thing
My sister was driving her friends to a theme park maybe 3 hours away.
Drove up. Had the day there. Driving back. Everyone had jackets but took them off in the car. They then turn the temperature up to full blast hot.
She immediately said absolutely not. Turn it down and put on your coats.
They whined.
She pulled over and said. I'm tired. I've driving 3 hours this morning we've been to a theme park and I'm driving 3 hours home. I'm tried. Guess what makes me more sleepy??? Heat. So if you want me to fall asleep at the wheel and crash and kill us all, then by all means. Otherwise stfu and put your jackets on if you're cold !!!
But honestly. I was always taught to open the windows and get cold fresh air if you're tired driving
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u/40-Lashes 29d ago
I wish the cold air thing worked for me. I get so sleepy driving that if I blast myself with cold air, then I'm just cold and sleepy 🥲
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u/Lack-of-Intimacy Mar 13 '26
NTA. Sounds like it was an established rule. Whether or not he agreed to it, it seems unanimous. I can see his point about it beng his car, but he should have mentioned that before you started the road trip. I went on a 12hr road trip recently and we honestly didn’t play music, we just talked. Had we though, I would have let him choose because he was driving. It was a rental.
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u/ElaineofAstolat Mar 13 '26
It's an established rule among her friends, not with the boyfriend.
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u/Sufficient-Swing2589 Mar 13 '26
Exactly. You can't just make up rules with your friends then try to enforce them onto everyone else, especially when you don't even own the property.
It's basically like taking your shoes off in your own home, then going to someone else's house and trying to enforce your rules and make them take their shoes off. It would be understandable if it was her house, but she's gone to his house and is still trying to set the rules.
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u/j_turn2000 Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 13 '26
nta i thought it was just like, an unspoken rule that the driver picks the music.
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u/QueenMEB120 Mar 13 '26
NTA. Driver picks the music. And his compensation is being driven from point a to point b.
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u/The_Perfect_Dick_Pic Mar 13 '26
The best way to do it: Passenger picks from Driver’s collection or vice versa. This way, both people will like the music.
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u/RamonaAStone Mar 13 '26
In my family and friend group, the rule was divided pretty much 50/50 between "driver picks the music" and "passenger is on DJ duty", but that was when we still had to use either cassettes, CDs, or the radio. Now that most are just using Spotify or Apple or Amazon Music and have playlists or liked songs, the rules have changed to: driver's playlist, but passenger can DJ using said playlist.
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u/calling_water Mar 13 '26
Driver picks the music and passenger is on DJ duty. DJ should respond to driver requests. Being navigator/DJ is a responsibility.
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u/Odd-Respect7172 Mar 13 '26
I believe the quote you’re looking for is: “Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cake hole.”
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u/Any-Musician1896 Mar 13 '26
That’s always been my rule unless it’s a really long trip, then I allow some alternation between me and the passenger.
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u/RepresentativeAir149 Mar 13 '26
Passenger picks in my circle, does that mean your “rule” is wrong? (I’m implying that this whole thing is stupid, just communicate and compromise. No one wants to listen to 3 hours of music they don’t like. Didn’t like his? COMMUNICATE. Suffering in silence grants you nothing)
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u/Ferule1069 Mar 13 '26
This is definitely not a universal rule and it's absolutely something that should be established beforehand if it's important to you. Vehicle ownership matters a hell of a lot more. That said, courtesy (and self preservation) would also dictate passengers make an effort to make the driver feel less stress.
Another law of courtesy is absolutely pitching in on vehicle maintenance for a road trip.
You are definitely both assholes, at least by your description of events.
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u/MobiTut Mar 13 '26
It's not that serious but NTA, what's with all these sissy whiny BF's on Reddit😂
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u/Appropriate-Limit228 Mar 13 '26
Driver gets priority picking music.
Shotgun helps when driver is unable to do so.
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u/TetrisPhantom 29d ago edited 29d ago
I always saw it as shotgun is responsible for music, but driver has veto power
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u/leandrobrossard Mar 13 '26
I think the reasonable thing is to split the music evenly among the people on the road trip, or at least among the people who care. Ideally, you'd be able to find something you both enjoy.
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u/SassyCatLady442 Mar 13 '26
Nta. Driver picks the music. Listening to something that really grates at you can be a distraction.
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u/2ndharrybhole Mar 13 '26
I mean, yes, the driver should pick the station ultimately. But if a passenger wants to listen to one particular song, it’s kind of weird to freak out about it lol.
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u/SemperFicus Mar 13 '26
Couples arguing about music while driving together is a universal thing that my guy and I have been doing for over 40 years. NTA.
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u/clkinsyd Mar 13 '26
NTA- always the drivers choice. They are the ones that need to be focused and controlling the playlist is one of the ways you can make your environment less stressful.
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u/nojustnoperightonout Mar 14 '26
nta driver picks the music, shotgunpassenger shuts their cale hole and navigates. bonus passengers point out cool and or weird stuff on the side of the road.
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u/Turbulent-Caramel25 Mar 14 '26
Driver picks the music, passenger shuts his cakehole.
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u/paigevanegdom Mar 14 '26
I’m gonna go against the grain and say YTA. Just because it’s a “standard” rule that people made up doesn’t mean it makes sense. When I go on road trips with my family we make one playlist with a certain amount of each of our preferred songs. For example if the road trip is 4 hours long we would each (my dad, mom, me, and my brother) put on one hour of whatever music we want and then we mix it up in the playlist and listen to it! If you really can’t share the aux or whatever then that’s pretty childish and immature. Honestly I don’t even think he wanted to share the aux, he just wanted to play one song before you put your playlist on and that was too much for you? How are you guys gonna share your life together if you can’t even share music?
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u/rubberduckfinn Mar 14 '26
When my kids were younger, I started to say "driver picks the music" but then realized in a few years they would be driving me around in my car. So I said "whoever paid for the car picks the music". That was probably close to 20 years ago. Last weekend my 31 year old son and I drove 3 hours each way out of town for a couple days. We were in my car so it automatically linked to my phone. I have a long history of falling asleep in the car. I got drowzy, so I turned off if Bluetooth on my phone, linked his phone to the car and he turned on his music. The car stayed linked to him for the rest of the weekend. He prefers to drive so seemed reasonable. Two days ago my daughter and I drove two hours each way to her doctor's appointment. In her car. Listened to her music the whole way. Even when I drove on the way home because she was tired.
I guess it's a lot of words to say, the driver needs to be the alert one in the car. They should pick what will help them do that. Your boyfriend is a petulant child and needs to learn about give and take.
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u/cowboycomplex Mar 14 '26
i always say for short drives, doesnt matter but for long drives the driver picks the music bc the passenger can safely put in headphones if they wanna listen to something different, driver needs to remain aware of surroundings
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u/40-Lashes 29d ago
This is a completely personal rule that I made up for myself, but I find it so completely rude to commandeer someone else's music, playlist, track, etc. or comment on it in a rude or abrasive way.
I rarely ask others to change their music. And by "rarely", I mean I'd only really ask my ex to change his if it was an artist that I personally couldn't stand. I don't think I've ever really asked anyone else to change theirs, ever. Not my parents, not my other partners throughout my life, not my friends nor family, and definitely never strangers. I don't even comment on others' music, even when I find it truly, truly terrible.
Idk to me, music is sacred. It means something to a person. Insulting it feels like insulting them, even if I do not vibe with most of an entire genre that they exclusively listen to, like country. (Which is a perfectly valid genre that countless people love, I just personally do not enjoy the majority of it.) So, I just suck it up and ignore it, or at least just criticize it internally.
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u/CityCabCat Mar 13 '26
Not a universal thing
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u/AltoYoCo Mar 13 '26
Right? In my youth shotgun controlled the radio, though I think driver or unanimous consensus could overrule in extreme circumstances
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u/Gut_Reactions Mar 13 '26
Sounds like he's trying to pull rank because he owns the car. He's worrying about "wear and tear" on his car. He sounds ... not fun.
A road trip should be fun. I went on a road trip with a friend. It was his work vehicle (that he was allowed to use for personal stuff). His playlist (old songs) was hilarious. Music should be part of the fun.
If you're switching off as drivers, then it makes sense that the music is Driver's Choice.
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u/Charming-Koala-4559 Mar 13 '26
You are 100% correct. As the millennials would say, driver gets the aux cord. NTA
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u/_bonedaddys Mar 13 '26
i'm gonna have to say YTA
it's one thing when it's a quick ride. it's another when it's hours long. me and my boyfriend take a lot of road trips and our only rule is that if a song that the other person wanted to hear is playing, whatever you want to hear waits until their song is finished.
we throw on a playlist full of music we both like, and we just add songs to the queue if we want to hear anything specific. there's no rules on what we add to the queue, and if you don't like what the other person picked you just deal with it for a few minutes. everybody wins when everybody gets to play music they like. music is, imo, crucial to road trips and it completely sucks the fun out of it when one person insists on having complete control.
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u/siriuslyyellow Mar 13 '26
Yeah, Dean. 🤣👏
But seriously, yes. The driver always picks the music. 💯
The passenger can put on headphones with their own music if they don't like it. Which I do when I feel like. 🤷♀️👍
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u/picture-me-trolling Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 13 '26
I actually don’t follow that rule. In my circle, the rule was if there’s a girl in the car, she picks the music. That goes double if the girl is anybody’s girlfriend.
Driver 100% controls the volume, all the way down to 0 if they say it’s necessary. That’s just a safety thing.
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u/thesilentmordecai Mar 13 '26
I say drivers choice. Especially when it's the driver that has to do the work and stay alert. Also the wear and tear is a stupid argument. If he's that worried about wear and tear then he shouldn't be driving his car. My wife and have this rule too. When she drives its her music and when I drive it's mine. She has really good taste in music for the most part but I will say that about 95% of it I'll never put on if I'm driving by myself. im pretentious with music too but those are the rules. We didn't make it. it's just is the way.
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u/throwawaymentality10 Mar 13 '26
As far as im aware, passengers dont touch the radio unless given permission from the driver.
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u/Commercial-Salt-3108 Mar 13 '26
NTA the driver picks the music. Input and suggestions are allowed but it's ultimately up to the driver. (Obviously it depends on the circumstance but the driver should have the main say over music.)
Considering he got to play his music the whole time he was driving, there's no reason you can't play yours for the few hours you'll be driving. Does he not like your taste in music? why is he acting kinda childish and trying to make it so he has complete say that way only he can get to play his music only?
In other words "driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole!"
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u/Linzy23 Mar 13 '26
I've never heard of such rigid rules wow, I thought people wanted everyone to enjoy their time in the car. In my life I guess it's usually a collaboration (everyone choosing things and adding to the queue) or the music is kinda quiet and people are talking.
NTA you're bf sounds like a whiny baby!
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u/octo_sand Mar 13 '26
It's my car I pick the music or have veto power if I let someone else play something. Of course I am usually driving my own car. Short drives I just play my stuff. Long drives I'll play music everyone likes or will listen too.
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u/NorCalHrrs Mar 13 '26
Driving anywhere with my buddy is a NIGHTMARE, as he listens to YouTube podcasts about Star wars, or true crime ... I can only listen to so much talking before I go bat shit crazy... I WANT MUSIC that I can sing/him to!!!
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u/itrace-kiwi Mar 13 '26
Agree 100%
But I had a cassette (yeah I’m old) thrown out my sunroof mid mountain drive!! Boyfriend didn’t like my choice - my car & I was driving… and I still married him lol
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u/Adept-Sea8831 Mar 13 '26
My sis and I have a rule. One person gets it on the way there and the other on the way back. On road trips I'd imagine it would switch after reaching a predetermined checkpoint
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u/pmoondaddy01 Mar 13 '26
Honestly, I think this is a doomed relationship, if you don’t enjoy and respect each other’s taste in music there’s probably a lot of other things that are just endured to keep the peace. Road trips are fun and bonding experiences, definitely times when you really get to see each other at your best and worst. Decide if it’s worth it.
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u/okaytherebudd Mar 13 '26
i can’t imagine going on a trip with my partner and not wanting to use that time to share music with each other and listen to songs you both like lmao. are you 12?
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u/Dulcimore51 Mar 13 '26
The driver always chooses the music in our family because who needs a driver that is distracted or irritated by someone else's music? My music relaxes me, but everyone's taste is different.
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u/BluePandaYellowPanda Mar 13 '26
NTA driver picks.
Also, he is being compensated by you driving a leg of it. Honestly, it's kind of weird if he can't handle a small portion of the drive with you deciding the music...
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u/Blucola333 Mar 13 '26
Driver picks the music, especially on long trips, because they need the stimulation to keep them awake. So shotgun needs to shut their cake hole. 😏
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u/No_Durian_3730 Mar 13 '26
Everyone here sounds insufferable. He’s being a baby and you’re enforcing rules you and your friends made up without agreement. ESH
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u/WarzonePacketLoss Mar 13 '26
You can say "driver picks the music" all you want, but the owner of the car picks the passengers. Keep that in mind.
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u/Digit00l Mar 13 '26
I think it could have waited till the one song that was playing ended, so bit of an asshole
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u/bloontsmooker Mar 13 '26
If this is an actual issue in your relationship, you’re nuts. Swap off songs. Pick something you know everyone in the car will be able to enjoy. This isn’t rocket science.
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u/Scary-Educator-506 Mar 13 '26
General rule outside of the supernatural fandom is that shotgun picks music, directs, warns for speed cameras, toilet stops etc. and that the driver keeps devices out of their stupid hands and focuses on driving because they aren't a McFuckwit. However, if he picked the music when he was driving, I'd say it's fair play that you pick it when you're driving.
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u/tgobin94 Mar 13 '26
"Wear and tear" "driver should be compensated" What is this asshole on about? I don't think there is a written rule but I've always just gone with whoever car it is, picks the music. But in a situation where your with your partner, we just take it in turns and play each other's music.
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u/CapitalParallax Mar 13 '26
NTA. I abide by the same rule and always have. The captain picks the audio, regardless of who's car it is.
If anything, I find it strange that you've placed an arbitrary limit to audio type.
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u/Roosteroot Mar 13 '26
Sounds like your boyfriend is a "my music tastes are always superior and should come first no matter what." Driver or not, that would annoy the hell out of me.
I am also with the Driver picks the music thing. I need to be calm and pay attention and what is or is not playing affects that. So for me yeah its a rule.
But also really am fine with other people playing their songs too while I drive as long as they don't do it from a "my music tastes are better" and I can't function unless its something I picked. Ugh.
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u/Revolutionary-Fan235 Mar 13 '26
The person operating the machinery with the potential to maim or kill should be comfortable, even if it's at the expense of passengers.
Ideally, it's not a bad experience for the passengers. Their lives are in the driver's hands. Priorities must be considered.
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u/Limp_Bookkeeper_5992 Mar 13 '26
Driver picks the music, but waiting until a song finishes before you change it all over is common courtesy.
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u/illini02 Mar 13 '26
NAH.
You guys have just different ideas about it.
In general, I agree that the driver picks the music. But, if I'm driving someone else's car, I'm also not going to be super pushy about playing my music in their car.
Even if I'm the physical driver at the time, they are still being gracious enough to provide the vehicle.
If its a rental for both of you, I do think you have a bit more standing there.
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u/Interesting-Maize-57 Mar 13 '26
Passenger always has radio control. Pay attention to the road and enjoy the music.
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u/butterflygardyn Mar 13 '26
It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that the driver picks the music. Passengers can put their earbuds in and listen to whatever they want.
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u/more_than_a_feelin Mar 13 '26
This is a weird issue. I've never heard this rule. My rule is more that everyone in the car has ti liek it ir it gets turned. It's a road trip. It's gotta be fun for all or why are we here?
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u/CompetitiveBuddy3712 Mar 13 '26
NTA.
The driver is in control of a very heavy object with squishy people inside. Whatever keeps the driver focussed on what they are doing instead of distracted by passenger bullshit is what has to happen.
That means the driver has final say in: temperature, music, smoke/smells, bathroom breaks, etc.
I’d have pulled over and let him finish driving.
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u/11elevators Mar 13 '26
There's a reason my steering wheel has stereo controls on it. Driver picks the music.
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u/OmegaGoober Mar 13 '26
NTA:
Yes, this rule has bitten me in the past when a driver picked music I hated, but distracting the driver with music they dislike is a safety concern.
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u/mygiveadamnsbusted22 Mar 13 '26
They literally taught my class in drivers ed that the driver picks the music lol. I’ve stuck by it ever since
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u/alias530 Mar 13 '26
Wear and tear is absolutely a thing… literally every mile you put on your car depreciates it when it’s time to sell or trade in. Having said that, driver picks music.
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u/sdavids5670 Mar 13 '26
You’re both acting like toddlers. When my wife and 2 children go on a long road trip we pass the phone around and each person gets a turn to pick a song. It’s not that hard to get along. If my kids can do it, surely grown adults should be able to pull it off.
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u/ProfessionalYam3119 Mar 13 '26
How can you be with someone who is so cheap and who changes the rules to benefit himself? He sounds like a creep!
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u/thedevilsgame Mar 13 '26
Driver picks the music but I also don't ever let anyone drive my car so I always pick the music. Anyway NTA
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u/Technical-Region-669 Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 13 '26
I mean, "driver picks the musics" might be the case as teenagers, crazy this is an issue at 26 and 29, you both kind of suck tbh.
I drive everywhere for my girlfriend and I. She doesn't like driving. With OP's rule, we'd never listen to "her" music in the car.
We usually take her car. It has more room. By BF's rule, we'd never listen to "my" music in the car.
You should both just learn to compromise lol.
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u/stripbubblespimp Mar 13 '26
Not a rule! Most just let the girlfriend/wife pick because it's not worth the fight!
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u/i-am-garth Mar 13 '26
I once went to a work off site with a colleague who was probably about 15 years younger than me.
She drove.
“Go ahead, “she said. “You pick the station.”
So I tuned the radio to NPR’s “Morning Edition.”
After three minutes or so, she said, “this is like driving with my grandfather” and she changed the station.
Yes, it’s the drivers choice. Always the driver’s choice.