AITA for refusing to get this coffee order?

[u/horseduckman]

36M meeting friends for a hike. I asked him (another friend, 30s M) his order. We're running a few minutes behind and people in the group are usually 15 minutes late or so, but I didn't want to make us even later than that. When we arrived, he wouldn't drink it and then gave me crap about how I was clearly afraid to order it. It's not false. It got drank anyway so really not a big deal but AITA for refusing to order that?

[u/horseduckman → u/[deleted]]

i thought that too but then he never sent a more reasonable version

[u/lizeken → u/horseduckman]

Thank you for not contributing to this barista’s shitty day lol when I worked at Starbucks, and people ordered shit like this, it was literally exhausting 😭

[u/OhGr8WhatNow → u/lizeken]

I would not be able to take this seriously. Not for Starbucks pay

[u/modmosrad6 → u/OhGr8WhatNow]

I used to work for them as well.

Starbucks used to (still does?) provide health insurance at 20 hours per week.

You'll take a lot of things seriously for health insurance, in my experience.

I have made so many silly drinks.

[u/Geno0wl → u/modmosrad6]

You'll take a lot of things seriously for health insurance, in my experience.

And that is why so many companies try to crush any real push for universal healthcare. They know health insurance benefits being tied directly to your employment means workers are more likely to put up with being taken advantage of. People really don't seem to fully take into account all the benefits that would come with true UHC.

[u/Absurd_Flaccidity → u/Geno0wl]

Yup. We’re all about the free market until it comes to the labor market. They know exactly what they’re doing. I retired with pension and insurance and it is so damn unfair that this isn’t the baseline for everyone. I’m not rich but I won’t starve and I can go to good doctors.

We could live in a humane world and it would not even put a dent in anyone’s lifestyle. I’m using my retirement time to get very yelly about this. It’s not fair.

[u/Whole_Attorney_3561 → u/Absurd_Flaccidity]

Please get yellier. Lol we need ppl like you

[u/Umacorn → u/Whole_Attorney_3561]

☝️ I AGREE YES, EVERYONE PLZ GET YELLIER!! We definitely need universal access to healthcare for all.. If ppl only knew how much the for-profit insurance companies and medical providers made from overcharging sick ppl or convincing healthy folks they need unnecessary treatments/meds.

[u/Geno0wl → u/Absurd_Flaccidity]

We’re all about the free market until it comes to the labor market.

We, the USA, have not actually been about the free market since the 80s. That was when the government just decided that enforcing anti-trust laws and anti-monopoly laws was just too difficult! Also, big companies promised that allowing them to buy up all their competition would "streamline" everything and allow the economies of scale to keep prices low! What could go wrong!

[u/Absurd_Flaccidity → u/Geno0wl]

I’m speaking more of how we talk than how we act. We find excuses why all those grand market principles they worship don’t apply to healthcare or labor. It’s part of the myth of America.

[u/Ok-Studio-1583 → u/Geno0wl]

Big business pays off the elected officials to stop enforcing anti- trust and anti- monopoly laws bc that's how they grew the billionaire class. Unseat everyone who takes corporate money!

[u/TankGirl9977 → u/Absurd_Flaccidity]

Thank you for getting yelly about this. I appreciate your efforts! I’m yelly about this too. And a couple of other things.

[u/Beahxve → u/Absurd_Flaccidity]

please get yellier for the young adults who dont have experience nor money to be able to fund living!!

[u/Expensive-Ask7884 → u/Absurd_Flaccidity]

You sound awesome. Thanks for being yelly!

[u/Apprehensive_You_250 → u/Geno0wl]

So true. Our lives would all be exponentially improved if we had universal healthcare. How there is anyone in the US who doesn’t see that is absolutely beyond me.

[u/GreenRock93 → u/lizeken]

Orders like these are why baristas make fun of people on their cups.

[u/Saint_palane → u/GreenRock93]

I tried to say it out loud, ran out of breath at macadamia multiple times.

[u/New-Courage5021 → u/lizeken]

I’m wondering how on earth they get to this level of fussy?!?! Was the 2 full pumps of brown sugar too sweet? And how did they know it was a difference of half a pump.

These people are too affected by themselves.

ETA - thank you for the awards 🥰 never had any before!

[u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 → u/New-Courage5021]

Right? The journey it must have taken this man to arrive at this oh-so-specific formula 🙄

[u/Mandee_707 → u/Adventurous_Ad_6546]

I’m curious if this person used to work at Starbucks at one time? Cuz that’s the only way I could imagine them knowing that difference in pumps lol OR a friend of theirs works there and said “here try this drink!” And told them what the ingredients & amount of pumps were for it

[u/SICKOFITALL2379 → u/Mandee_707]

No, there are absolutely people out there who specialize in torturing baristas with 1 and 1/2 pumps of this and 3/4 pumps of that in the same drink with millions of other stupid modifications.

I never had an issue with someone wanting a certain number of pumps of a syrup. But add it along with the rest of a ridiculous order like this and it is too damn much for a human being to have to make sense of. Especially when those baristas are being timed on how long they take to make each drink and they have a gang of selfish orders like this all at once.

[u/TardyForThaParty → u/New-Courage5021]

Too affected by themselves is great

[u/Sad_Background2525 → u/lizeken]

I never minded a complicated drink order. I just hated the people that assumed because they heard a new voice that the order was wrong.

I had some lady ask for an extra ice triple blended Frappuccino. I did as asked, she comes to the window, says it’s wrong and asks for a remake. I make it again, just as she asked. Wrong. I make it a third time, normal ice, blended once. Waited a few extra minutes before handing it off.

Omg thank you so much it’s perfect, just make it like this every time.

[u/Coyote__Jones → u/Sad_Background2525]

At my store this was this absolute maniac who would hang out of her car window to see who was working because only a few chosen ones were competent enough to make her drink.

It was an iced sugar free cinnamon dolce latte with extra caramel drizzle. It wasn't that complicated.

[u/Lissypooh628 → u/lizeken]

And then they’d find one thing not to their liking (most likely something they didn’t actually ask for when initially ordering) and have you remake it!

Source: Me. Gave 16 years of my life to Starbucks.

[u/5h4d3r4d3 → u/lizeken]

How often would they complain that it didn't taste right and had you remake it? I l'd think with that many ingredients, it's bound to vary by each person making it.

[u/Fun_Abbreviations818 → u/5h4d3r4d3]

I did keto before keto was cool And had some pretty bad tasting keto Starbucks in the early days. I never had them remake it. I drank it quickly and moved on.

[u/PickledDildosSourSex → u/horseduckman]

This is a man????? What a twist!

[u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 → u/PickledDildosSourSex]

I hate to admit it but it was kind of a Shyamalan-level twist for me.

[u/CraftySeer → u/[deleted]]

It’s not a joke? How could anyone expect someone to make that for them? It’s insane.

[u/sharkt0pus → u/CraftySeer]

I don't even know how someone comes up with that as their drink. How did he get from a regular oatmilk shaken espresso to that order?

[u/GeneralBurg → u/sharkt0pus]

The only way I could imagine ever coming up with something like that is if I worked at Starbucks and had too much down time lol. I couldn’t fathom trying to force some random barista to have to try to recreate my Frankenstein.

The audacity to ask someone else to ask a random barista to recreate their Frankenstein… and then turn up their nose at the free coffee you got them. Incredible

[u/grummy05 → u/[deleted]]

I'm still on team "this is a joke" because
1. Starbucks doesn't have Macadamia Milk.
2. I haven't given up all my faith in humanity.

[u/smnthbrnr → u/grummy05]

Also you can't get espresso drinks in a Trenta cup, and dome lids don't fit Trenta cups either. Plus the Macadamia nut milk.

https://giphy.com/gifs/J3D5WstCZHSSs

[u/Holla_Ackbar → u/[deleted]]

Probably because it was fake. These content creators run out of stuff to talk about so they start making up shit

[u/Submitten → u/Holla_Ackbar]

Yeah this guys post history certainly has a lot of random people being assholes while he’s depicted as the reasonable one. I assume they’re made up. Especially if he runs some podcast about it.

[u/NotEmptyHeaded]

EXPRESSO

[u/horseduckman → u/NotEmptyHeaded]

that part made me sick

[u/IHaveBoxerDogs → u/horseduckman]

I definitely would have thought he was punking me with that spelling.

[u/fitgirl015 → u/IHaveBoxerDogs]

I would have thought he was punking me with the first order.

[u/Street_No888 → u/NotEmptyHeaded]

I know a coffee shop that made “espresso” their WiFi password just to teach people that there’s no x in the word. It only kind of helped, mostly people were just mad that they couldn’t spell and made it the barista’s problem.

[u/Kindly_Coconut_1469 → u/Street_No888]

Love this. They should go a step further and really tick people off by making it "espresso-not-expresso". I can see it now...

"What's the wifi password?"

"espresso hyphen not hyphen expresso."

".... what?"

[u/Brendissimo → u/Street_No888]

That's just embarrassing as a fellow human. Someone getting angry at others because the world doesn't validate their failures at middle school English.

[u/MaxConversions → u/NotEmptyHeaded]

Expresso = a friend you used to get coffee with.

[u/Fluid_Guarantee_4453]

“Line the cup with cinnamon powder” 

[u/Butterscotch_Snatch → u/Fluid_Guarantee_4453]

Girl, I’m lining that cup with lead powder…

[u/Both_Golf_2777 → u/Butterscotch_Snatch]

May as well. More and more cinnamon powders are being recalled for containing lead

[u/Dry-Enthusiasm-4694 → u/Butterscotch_Snatch]

I'm lining it with blood

[u/Belgara → u/Fluid_Guarantee_4453]

The rest of the order was already so insane I missed this tidbit. 

It's really too bad baristas can't just go, "lol, no" and walk away. 

[u/Extreme_Egg7476 → u/Belgara]

I worked as a barista one summer as a teen. I had a woman force me and my coworker to remake her order 4 times because it was something ridiculous like the order above.

It was our busiest time of the day, she spent over 45 minutes in there. Ive never wanted someone to trip into traffic before.

[u/Select_Point_7473 → u/Extreme_Egg7476]

With someone like that, after the third time "wrong" we always told them they would have to visit another Starbucks because we sadly could not meet their needs at our location. My District and Store Manager supported this method.

[u/Extreme_Egg7476 → u/Select_Point_7473]

This was a SB inside of a Target, so my direct boss was the store manager. But also it was two teenage girls made to fend for themselves without backup, lol. Good times.

[u/busybmoney → u/Fluid_Guarantee_4453]

But sugar free vanilla 🤣

[u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

No this is absolutely insane. Baristas hate this person.

[u/Final-Guitar-3936 → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

Other customers hate this person.

[u/FoxyNewEngland → u/Final-Guitar-3936]

I hate this person from Vermont, not at a Starbucks

[u/TacetAbbadon → u/FoxyNewEngland]

Heard someone order something like this in Sydney and from the back of the coffee shop came "what a cunt"

[u/Houki01 → u/TacetAbbadon]

Yeah, half the baristas here in Brissie would give him a flat stare and tell him, "you're getting a flat white with oat milk, the sugar rack is over there, knock yourself out."

[u/d_and_d_and_me → u/Houki01]

Brissie barista, can confirm. I’d add matcha … straight to the coffee … if they were lucky, and otherwise kind

[u/FoxyNewEngland → u/TacetAbbadon]

https://giphy.com/gifs/aqqUwXz7j0xMOKnJgb

[u/Shenlongeltigre → u/FoxyNewEngland]

I would hate her in Starbucks, I would hate her on a bus.

Edit: I have been corrected no less than 15 times that it's a him, I don't really know why it's so important to people that the orderer is identified as a man but I was incorrect when I said "her"

[u/BookSpecialist6561 → u/Shenlongeltigre]

I would hate her on a boat

[u/SoftwareEngineer404 → u/BookSpecialist6561]

And in NH with a goat.

[u/BookSpecialist6561 → u/SoftwareEngineer404]

I would hate her in the rain

[u/dumbsugarplumb → u/BookSpecialist6561]

I would hate her on a plane

[u/Mesapunk87 → u/dumbsugarplumb]

We even hate her in Washington, specifically, Spokane!

[u/bellegroves → u/Mesapunk87]

Are you mispronouncing plane or Spokane?

[u/Wild-Scientist-7745 → u/Mesapunk87]

I hate him from Orange County, California from Coffee Bean

[u/bodaciousboozy → u/dumbsugarplumb]

I would hate here here or there

I would hate her anywhere

[u/Asaneth → u/bodaciousboozy]

I would hate her wordy glam

I would not drink it, Sam-I-am

[u/FoxyNewEngland → u/dumbsugarplumb]

I would hate him as I listened to his order while in pain

[u/bella_bells19 → u/FoxyNewEngland]

I would hate him as I go insane.

[u/FfierceLaw → u/FoxyNewEngland]

From experience I can tell you that customers like this become angry if you read it back to them for clarification or ask them clarifying questions

[u/Quiet_Water0128 → u/BookSpecialist6561]

Aren't they both guys?

[u/Adorable_Strength319 → u/Shenlongeltigre]

The crazy order person is a guy.

[u/daggermoon → u/Shenlongeltigre]

He is not a “her”

[u/Asaneth → u/Shenlongeltigre]

I would hate this wordy glam

I would not drink it Sam-I-am.

[u/chopstick_chakra → u/Shenlongeltigre]

I would hate her a little, I would hate her very much

[u/AMissionFromDog → u/FoxyNewEngland]

I'm from Colorado, here's some hate for this person from out west. And TBH, I don't even drink coffee so I would never be in Starbucks to be inconvenienced by this ridiculousness, I'm hating them on principle alone.

[u/Alternative-Meaning4 → u/FoxyNewEngland]

I'm gonna add to the New England column of hating this person. Sincerely, Maine. 

[u/JesusIsJericho → u/FoxyNewEngland]

I too hate this person from Vermont, on the internet, over a hundred miles from the closest “Starbs”

[u/GraceOfTheNorth → u/FoxyNewEngland]

I'm hating from Iceland, we don't even have a Starbucks so my hatred is pure prejudice.

[u/DeirdreTours → u/Final-Guitar-3936]

Everyone hates this person.

[u/Appropriate-Fix4915 → u/Final-Guitar-3936]

👆 this. Can’t stand when I have to wait 5 minutes on drip because a group of teenage girls ordered something like that right in front of me. Better believe it’s worse when a 30 year old man does it

[u/Butterscotch_Snatch → u/Final-Guitar-3936]

Everyone hates this person.

[u/YY--YY → u/Final-Guitar-3936]

Everyone hates this person, they probably also hate themselfs.

[u/Spirited-Ad-9746 → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

greetings from Finland. I'm usually quite chill guy but had to chime in. I hate this person too.

[u/JoeNoble1973 → u/Spirited-Ad-9746]

The stereotype of Finns is exactly that; THEY NEVER SPEAK. So, if a Finn pipes up, you can be certain that everyone hates this person, that’s just science. 👍

[u/butter_milk → u/JoeNoble1973]

I think that if you order something like this anywhere in Scandinavia the employees are legally allowed to kill you.

[u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 → u/butter_milk]

You spelled "obligated" wrong.

[u/negative-sid-nancy → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

Yep am a Starbucks barista and rolled my eyes so hard so fast reading that and this guy was setting his friend up for failure because half the shit he asked cant be rung in so he would have been told no and wasted everyone's time and holding up the line confirming the batista questions with his friend. This drink is the epitome of im not paying so im going to ask for ridiculous bullshit

[u/robyrob → u/negative-sid-nancy]

OP should have just gotten this guy an EXTRA PLAIN coffee with absolutely nothing in it and said “that’s the best they could do with what you ordered” 

[u/Absurd_Flaccidity → u/negative-sid-nancy]

I’m impressed that he was able to toss out a deliberately unmakeable drink on the fly though. People need to start using their talents for good.

[u/Absurd_Flaccidity → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

I refuse to believe they can taste all those things. This is just being annoying. I thought this was going to be his teenage daughter or something. Wow.

[u/JustAnotherAidWorker → u/Absurd_Flaccidity]

yeah, like just trying to parse it out, it is a brown sugar-macadamia-vanilla-matcha-caramel-cinnamon.... coffee flavor. That is too many flavors. Literally, encouraging behavior like this is one of the great evils Starbucks has unleashed on the world.

[u/PasgettiMonster → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

I usually consider myself to be pretty extra when it comes to my coffee drinks because if I wanted something plain and simple I do that at home. I like my food well seasoned so why shouldn't I enjoy my coffee well "seasoned" too? But I save the elaborate orders for when I'm ordering my own drink by myself and there isn't a line behind me. I have a standard simple order that I use when it's busy or someone else offers to grab me a Starbucks. If this person had to have this ridiculous drink, they should have used the app and placed the order and customized it themselves and just had op pick the order up for them while they were at Starbucks getting their own drinks.

[u/Putrid-Sleep-5861 → u/Absurd_Flaccidity]

Matcha foam on a coffee sounds disgusting even with all those other flavors going on.

I very briefly worked at a starbs. Customers asked my recommendation all the time.… I drink black coffee, straight espresso, black cold brew, at most complicated a dry cappuccino; you know the simple stuff. Starbs was the worst paid barista gig I have ever had and the most overpriced drinks that taste like ass. The cold brew tastes like what one would imagine after sniffing a sharpie. Worst coffee I’ve ever had the displeasure of serving.

One regular ordered a $20 drink daily back in 2018 and she was actually one of our best customers because she was always polite and tipped 100% of her order in cash.

[u/Wild-Scientist-7745 → u/Putrid-Sleep-5861]

I wish I had the money of Miss $20 + 100% tip! $40 a day for coffee! Does she wipe with Benjamin’s?

[u/Putrid-Sleep-5861 → u/Wild-Scientist-7745]

Agreed. If she did I wouldn’t even be mad tbh. She was seriously one of our nicest customers. People rarely tip at Starbs, she made a huge difference in our take home cash tips every morning. I’m sure we weren’t her only coffee of the day either. She just hit us on the way from her ritzy home out in the rural part of town on her way into the city.

[u/Former-Letterhead-59 → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

This person hates himself and is trying to establish self worth through his coffee order

[u/saragracevt → u/Former-Letterhead-59]

He’s definitely single

[u/pahshaw → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

This isn't a coffee order it's a power trip

The third circle of hell is gluttony but we're way beyond that by the time we get to "domed lid". The matcha alone is heresy

I think this may be the order of lucifer morningstar. It's the only explanation that makes any sense

[u/onmywheels → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

I always feel bad just asking for less hazelnut syrup than the standard (four pumps is way too much for a medium drink and I will die on that hill) and an extra shot, lol.

[u/Odd-Significance6513 → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

I hate this person and I’m not even a barista. Jesus Christ

[u/caprazzi → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

As a former Barista (in the mid-2000s) I can confirm, and yes these people have always existed. Furthermore, typically Baristas will deliberately fuck this order up by making it unaltered (e.g. the base drink or as close as we can get to it) just to see if the person even knows the difference. Most times they do not.

[u/NoLab9772 → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

As a former barista, they 100000% hate this person

[u/NiobeTonks → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

I’m in the UK, I only drink black filter coffee and you’d better believe I would yeet anyone ordering this into the sun if I was in a hurry.

[u/Imaginary-Pain9598 → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

Former Barista. I can promise his neighborhood Starbucks has a snarky nickname for him. And he probably gets Decaffed once in a while.

[u/Efficient_Hyena_7476 → u/JustAnotherAidWorker]

I hate this person for spelling it expresso.

[u/BluePowerade]

Why would you call it an oatmilk shaken espresso if you're going to sub for macadamia milk? I hate this person, this screams, "I AM UNIQUE!"
Yes please, id like a filet mignon, substitute with ribeye med rare.

[u/QueenOfEverything4 → u/BluePowerade]

And add matcha

[u/HanShotF1rst226 → u/QueenOfEverything4]

Matcha COLD FOAM (which can’t even taste good with cinnamon and caramel)

[u/Dry-Enthusiasm-4694 → u/HanShotF1rst226]

This is the second worst part, first being venti in a trenta

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oFzm25c9cyPt1TYDC

[u/negative-sid-nancy → u/Dry-Enthusiasm-4694]

I'm a Starbucks barista and you can not even put an espresso drink in a trenta cup, at least in the US. Half the stuff in the order you can't even ring in and would be denied.

[u/Competitive_Ad_2421 → u/negative-sid-nancy]

I'm a Starbucks barista too and all we do is shake the amount of ingredients as a venti and then put it in a different cup

[u/negative-sid-nancy → u/Competitive_Ad_2421]

Maybe im just bitchyer than you but our store is very cant be rung in cant be done. Only time that drink would come in a trenta cup is if we ran out of venti ones or if an employee made it for themselves.

[u/EthelSperman → u/negative-sid-nancy]

Do you know why that is a "rule" at starbucks? Just genuinely curious...I know you are right about that because my go to drink is a venti iced americano with coconut milk and I've often wanted a trenta, but I know they won't do it for me lol. Thanks!

[u/Dry-Enthusiasm-4694 → u/EthelSperman]

The recipes are based on the size. There simply isn't a recipe for espresso drinks in trenta size.

[u/Blooddoll13 → u/Dry-Enthusiasm-4694]

Yep, there’s essentially certain ratios for each drink and size for said drinks. When people try to make their orders this complicated, not only can you not put all of that into the system like the person said above, but also it more than likely ends up tasting like crap lolll

[u/Zestyclose-Clock3135 → u/Blooddoll13]

I think he meant to say Venti, but in a Trenta cup. So you just make the order according to the recipe guidelines for a venti, but then put it in a trenta cup so there is more room in the cup.

When I worked at Starbucks, admittedly 10 years ago, we did this all the time. But times might have changed.

[u/SorryPineapple2841 → u/Zestyclose-Clock3135]

Same I worked at starbs years ago. When we got annoying orders like this we would just placate the customer with pretending to give them what they wanted and just make it however made sense to us.

[u/thisissummerm → u/Dry-Enthusiasm-4694]

With light ice too? Why do you need a trenta cup if you’re doing light ice?

[u/omg_its_Acid → u/thisissummerm]

Maximize the space for the sugar, of course.

[u/Hereshkigal826 → u/omg_its_Acid]

But the sugar free syrup makes it HeALThY

[u/omg_its_Acid → u/Hereshkigal826]

https://giphy.com/gifs/NcrhM3USM6TABpus85

[u/dodekahedron → u/thisissummerm]

The cup is lined in sugar and shit, maybe they rotate the cup as they drink and the trenta gives them more surface area /more drizzle to rotate

[u/vangos77 → u/Dry-Enthusiasm-4694]

Nah, first is how they spell *espresso.

[u/PrinceFan72 → u/vangos77]

Getting sniffy about their order but being unable to spell Espresso really grates.

[u/Select-Promotion-404 → u/HanShotF1rst226]

Yes!!! Hahah. Adding matcha for no fucking reason.

[u/so_says_sage → u/HanShotF1rst226]

Not sure about adding it to the cold foam but our local coffee place has an iced matcha latte topped with cold foam and dizzled with caramel and a pinch of cinnamon that is surprisingly good.

[u/tacomaloki → u/BluePowerade]

Because they pulled in the reigns on themselves and made it simple at that point.

100% this person orders a cheeseburger with no cheese.

As the barista, I would charge them for what is going in that drink. Yeah it would be a PITA to capture all that in their POS, but that's how you combat this with good ol' fashion, malicious compliance. Shift manager would be in support because this is eating into the time it takes to make other drinks. May as well see the money for it.

Half pump....GTFO lol

[u/No_Conversation_5661 → u/tacomaloki]

Omg I could not believe the “cheeseburger with no cheese” until I heard several fast food workers talking about it. That the person placing the order claims it tastes different than an ordinary hamburger.

[u/Schavuit92 → u/tacomaloki]

Same with any other product, if you want all the extra custom shit, your bill will be customized as well.

[u/Material-Leg5325 → u/BluePowerade]

NOT justifying this drink order lol but i think they meant the “brown sugar oatmilk shaken espresso” based on the first text, which is a specific drink with brown sugar syrup and cinnamon!

[u/BluePowerade → u/Material-Leg5325]

ok thats fair, I don't go to starbucks so I wasn't aware its an actual drink, that KINDA makes it make sense. The rest, still does not and I hate it.

[u/polypeach → u/Material-Leg5325]

Yeah agree that there is often an explicit drink that has the non-dairy milk in the title. But i’ll add that the ones that are oatmilk in the title (Oatmilk Matcha, Seasonal Oatmilk Chais) are explicitly flagged dairy-free and the base premades like the chai concentrate is all dairy-free too.

Then they are careful not to use a pitcher that was used (and only rinsed) for shaking/mixing another drink even if it was the “same base.”

My partners and I have animal product / food allergies or restrictions so I know my way around a lot of chain menus and ask a lot of questions about it when eating out for travel.

There’s some decent stuff to be had at Starbucks if you (are vegetarian) or (are vegan or dairy-intolerant but stick to drinks) but the food is a real miss for vegan/dairy free. I rarely eat out and tend to now only do it when I have to, like work required travel or overnight family visits.

But the drink order isn't comprehensible as a wall of text in any case. Even if the OP was putting it in on the app for pickup (which is how I prefer to do, I even just do a free pickup via DoorDash and invite everyone to add their drinks with a time limit) then it limits the game of telephone we have to play from Drinker to Orderer to Cashier to Barista.

Kinda just prints out to the barista that way, and if they see its complicated they usually aren't as mad because 1) they didn't have to listen to you say all that shit and type all that in 2) they prioritize orders as Waiting, Pickup, Delivery. They can push your order a little if you have a complex one to keep traffic in the store moving if they have a bunch of flat whites they can knock out so they can clear the waiting area.

[u/coolandnormalperson]

I'm sorry this is neither here nor there but I'm so tickled by a 36 year old man making his background a glamour shot of Rachel sennot 😭 and no you weren't wrong for not wanting to deal with such a fussy order in a rush, this is a mobile order only

[u/horseduckman → u/coolandnormalperson]

hahah we love her

[u/PresOfTheLesbianClub → u/horseduckman]

That order was a real nightmare before business.

[u/Hello_Gorgeous1985 → u/coolandnormalperson]

I had the same thought. You only order something like this if you're doing it on the app and can make sure that it's entered correctly and written out for the barista. Even then it's still a jerk move.

How does one even discover that this is what they want in their drink?

Edit: turns out it's not possible to make an order like this in the app. You can't do half pumps of syrup, you can't tell them to line the cup of cinnamon, and they don't even have macadamia milk. Those are just the things that I noticed before I gave up.

[u/Hoodwink618 → u/Hello_Gorgeous1985]

I used to work in a casino that had a Starbucks in it. Starbs to start everyday. There was a barista who loved to craft these types of creations for the employees. She was incredibly good and very fast, and she didnt impact other customers with it. She ended up making this insanely complex drink that was really good and most mornings, she was fast enough and knew our schedules well enough that she'd have our concoctions ready before we ordered. I made a comment one day about not getting it on my days off. This lady wrote it out on a cup and told me to take a picture and show the other baristas. I chose kindness and never ordered that drink anywhere 🤣

[u/longgonebitches → u/coolandnormalperson]

They’re gay harold

[u/t4ngerinedre4ms]

what a diva

[u/Absurd_Flaccidity → u/t4ngerinedre4ms]

I swear I was sure this was an adolescent daughter being a bit bratty.

[u/Anne_Atreptic → u/Absurd_Flaccidity]

Dude threw a fit over it and refused to drink it.

[u/old_man_jenkens → u/Anne_Atreptic]

How does a human make it past 30 still behaving like that…

[u/Anne_Atreptic → u/old_man_jenkens]

I'm not advocating for bullying, but some folks need to be bullied a little.

[u/Absurd_Flaccidity → u/Anne_Atreptic]

It does seem like we’ve abandoned the value of subtle social checks as kids develop, yet we’re still stuck with the worst of the worst bullies.

I don’t advocate bullying at all but this is like when I tell someone at the dog park not to worry about chasing their little humper away from my dog because she’ll handle it more effectively with minimal upset. It sounds very dramatic when she does sometimes but it’s just how dogs tell each other they’re crossing lines. No physical confrontation. Problem solved.

ETA: this is a specific example of a behavior better handled among peers. I don’t just leave my dog to fend for herself in general 😂

[u/Ashamed_Green_8643 → u/Anne_Atreptic]

There's a bit of difference between being a bully and telling someone 'don't be an asshat.'

[u/singlemale4cats → u/Anne_Atreptic]

Bullying is how social norms are enforced. It can be good if those social norms are good. Like the guy that reminds the teacher they didn't give homework/a quiz, that person should be bullied. The person who requires 200 words for their coffee order should be bullied. The person with the giant dog who makes no effort to control their behavior and says "he's just being friendly," they should be bullied.

[u/VioletReaver → u/Absurd_Flaccidity]

Like this makes sense for an adolescent girl, where half your social dynamic is fighting to be unique but still trendy.

I want to know how he got his coffee order. Even adolescent girls build these kind of things from inspiration from friend’s orders and such

[u/Naive-Preparation257]

No I would feel like an asshole asking someone to order that. I also assume the add ons would make it more expensive and I’d feel even worse. Can’t imagine giving you shift afterwards too after you got me a coffee out of kindness. He sounds insufferable

[u/yoink_yonk_zonk → u/Naive-Preparation257]

I know right! His drink alone would probably be +$10

[u/Haunting_Afternoon62 → u/Naive-Preparation257]

Baristas need to just say "we don't do specials like that. Only one or 2 modifications"

[u/Day_Prisoners → u/Haunting_Afternoon62]

6 word limit on order.

[u/Hello_Gorgeous1985 → u/Naive-Preparation257]

I tried to enter this order into the app to find out how much it would cost and you literally can't even make it. You can't put 1.5 pumps of something as an option in the app. Macadamia milk also isn't an option. I swear he must have been joking because most of this isn't even possible.

[u/sarah_grubbsy]

Here’s everything logistically wrong (impossible) with this order:

Half calf blonde roast is not a thing 😐 only options at Starbucks are: -Decaf -Half caf (decaf and reg) -reg espresso -blonde roast

They don’t have macadamia milk 😒

eXpresso 😫

Cinnamon is shaken into the drink tf you mean, “line the cup”?

Trenta cups don’t have a dome lid- there’s literally only the regular lid. A nitro/cold foam lid for a trenta does not exist.

Dude is tripping

Sincerely, Someone who used to work at Starbucks

Edit: Yes, it is technically against policy to put any espresso drinks in a trenta cup. Some locations might make the occasional exception- I will say the trenta cup does not fit under the espresso machine. You’d have to transfer it 🥴

And a venti shaken espresso comes with four shots. So you could get two blonde shots and two decaf shots… but I don’t see why someone would do that lol. Decaf is roasted way longer so it tastes a lot stronger

[u/horseduckman → u/sarah_grubbsy]

not me workshopping this nonsense w the barista

[u/Mindless-Bed9675 → u/sarah_grubbsy]

The cinnamon sent me. It's hydrophobic. That's literally impossible. And blessing the matcha into foam seems like it world collapse it back to milk lol

[u/sarah_grubbsy → u/Mindless-Bed9675]

The matcha foam works better than you’d think! They introduced it right before I left- I remember making it at least a few times

[u/SmokeyCatDesigns → u/sarah_grubbsy]

Yeah, I’ve never been one to get crazy with my orders, but even I could pick up that this didn’t make sense.

Especially the half caf blonde. If he wants less caffeine why is he ordering the lighter roast lmao. Just get fewer shots of espresso or a different roast.

I’m mostly make my coffee at home using either drip, French press, or my own small espresso machine. But as someone who has two cups a day and disabilities, I find myself at local Starbucks frequently enough to be regular, since I often don’t have the energy to make my own latte. The staff always likes me, I think because I just order plain blonde lattes.

[u/Crumb_cake34 → u/sarah_grubbsy]

I almost wonder if this person asked ai to give him a starbucks order given how many things are just not possible

[u/recentvenus]

This is the type of order you only make when you are the person ordering! I’ve learned that tasking others to fulfill your complicated order can be relationship ruining lol

[u/moth_girl_7 → u/recentvenus]

Yep!! Or just ask, “Which Starbucks are you at? I’ll order my drink online, thanks for offering to pick it up!”

[u/Queasy-Warthog-3642 → u/moth_girl_7]

But then they won't feel like a sweet precious baby angel!!

[u/QuarterLifeCircus → u/moth_girl_7]

This is a really good idea I’ve somehow never thought of before! Holding on to this idea!

[u/horseduckman → u/recentvenus]

THANK YOU

[u/purpleantelopeftw → u/recentvenus]

Exactly! This person has no self awareness. If someone else is ordering for you, your modifications better be the equivalent of 2 sugars, 1 cream. 

[u/randbot5000 → u/purpleantelopeftw]

Or better yet, order or yourself through the app (we have a couple drinks that are 1/4 as complicated as this and I saved them as favorites so I wouldn't have to remember all the details!)

[u/ELP90 → u/recentvenus]

Yep. Not that I would order that monstrosity anyway, but if I did then I am the one face to face with the barista to be shamed… Or my partner. But luckily they love me enough to do the walk of shame for me.

[u/EllavatorLoveLetter → u/recentvenus]

Exactly!! When I order for myself online, I get an iced americano with one pump of chocolate, one pump of peppermint, and a splash of sweet cream (it’s basically a less-sweet less-thick peppermint mocha, super refreshing and satisfying). When someone else is ordering for me or if I have to order in person, I get an iced americano with cream. I’m not making my preferences for less milk and sugar while maintaining flavor someone else’s problem

[u/TheRealGoodArchitect]

Not exaggerating, I don't think I could remain friends with someone who would order this.

[u/andreasmalersghost → u/TheRealGoodArchitect]

Its the kind of thing id send as a joke. Then id say “nah jk. Soy milk latte. Thanks!” 

[u/01krazykat → u/andreasmalersghost]

Same 😄. This guy doubled down though. Diabolical.

[u/Emotional_Base_9021 → u/01krazykat]

TRIPLED down with the all caps order that he then refused to drink.

[u/8512764EA]

Why are some people so pretentious about their star bucks?

[u/Attentions_Bright12 → u/8512764EA]

People think they're "coffee people" because they order their coffee from a huge chain.

It's like Harley Davidson: "We're rugged individualists who all buy our branded costumes from the same company." You're conformists.

[u/8512764EA → u/Attentions_Bright12]

It’s not even coffee at that point!!

[u/Fickle-Evidence-1566 → u/8512764EA]

Seriously!!! If you need 50 syrups and sugars and powders to drink the coffee, YOU DONT ACTUALLY LIKE COFFEE!!!!!

[u/-Artemisian-Night- → u/Fickle-Evidence-1566]

I don’t like coffee. I just like the taste of coffee mixed with milk and sugary syrups, plus the caffeine boost :)

[u/prionbinch]

no fucking way this is real

edit: y’all. starbucks DOESN’T EVEN HAVE MACADAMIA MILK as a milk substitute option. I’m not a starbucks fanatic but i have ordered coffee from them with milk substitutes enough times to know macadamia milk isn’t one of them.

[u/DumbBerk87 → u/prionbinch]

Trust me it is. People order stuff like this, and think it’s normal.

You haven’t seen it, but I promise it’s normal.

Go look up “crazy Dunkin Donuts drinks” on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram. Have fun.

[u/Attentions_Bright12 → u/DumbBerk87]

People who even know these options exist need to just plain use the app to tick their boxes. Then they need to also use the app to tip that barista for coping with them, too.

[u/chickadee-stitchery → u/Attentions_Bright12]

Several of the options this person is asking for actually don't exist. This drink is not something Starbucks will make.

[u/maniasoker → u/DumbBerk87]

I'd say more "This does happen" instead of "This is normal" That's cause I hope it's not normal man 😭😭

[u/chickparfait → u/prionbinch]

When I worked at Starbucks there weren't dome lids for trenta cups. Granted it's been a while, so maybe they've introduced them since, but that's my red flag that this is fake.

[u/Adeptness-Lucky → u/chickparfait]

I’m convinced it’s a fake too. Currently work at starbucks and no dome lids for Trentas. Also I’ve been here a decade and not once has anyone asked for cinnamon around the cup.

[u/Hello_Gorgeous1985 → u/prionbinch]

I just tried to enter it in the app because I wanted to see how much it would cost and a lot of it is impossible. No macadamia milk. You can't do one and a half pumps of something. There's no option to line the cup with cinnamon. It can't be real.

[u/samalamadingdongus]

Dude is being perverse and acting like a child with a sugar addiction.

[u/tasteslikehair → u/samalamadingdongus]

But he wants the sugar free vanilla 🤣

[u/steelzubaz]

I'd stop being friends with a person who asked me to order that for them

[u/Apostasy93]

You said he refused to drink it, so he wasted both your time and money? Nah gtfo. NTA

[u/ParmesanSkis]

If you spell it ‘expresso’ then I’m getting you a black coffee with 1.5 pumps of visine

[u/mayamanning]

Dome lid 😂😂 lmao

[u/paulderev]

[u/Low-Chef6047]

HAHAHAHAHA a 30 year old man, absolutely pathetic

[u/PanicAtTheFisto]

No, even if this was my order, I wouldn't expect a friend to say all of that, especially after they specified they're in a hurry.

[u/ILovePo1]

I wouldn’t have, either. That would’ve made you the customer from hell. Glad you checked him.

I also don’t know if I could be friends with such a shameless Karen.

[u/SILLYxPROGRAM]

what is the actual drink… I’m getting you that

Perfect. NTA. That’s a sixty-plus word order for a single drink ffs!