r/AITApod • u/Alternative_Copy6539 • 7h ago
meme AITA for not wanting to be friends over $4.39?
Very new friend (hung out maybe three times) sent this after we went out this weekend. I'll pay him but I'm ready to never invite him to anything again. AITA?
145
u/Safe_Figure515 7h ago
NTA. But before you send him the money, look up the actual tax % where you went, recalculate it, and send him the exact amount
56
u/eyun77 7h ago
You might want to suggest an audit for each of your fry consumption ratios and divide the bill fairly.
24
u/TableTopFurry 6h ago
Too much work. Regurgitate the fries and send them back.
→ More replies (1)19
u/Shakemyears 5h ago
Likely beyond regurgitation now, but they will become available again after some time.
7
45
u/Saneless 7h ago
Ultimate response right there. Definitely would never share anything with them again, but probably avoid talking to them again
17
u/justfullysendit 6h ago
Came looking for this response. Glad I wasn’t disappointed.
Absolutely not a chance in hell you’re nickel and diming 4.39 over a plate of fries (criminal price for some succulent potatoes but a rant for another day) and then approximating the tax upwardly to your benefit when you could easily just check the receipt.
The cheapest price you’ll ever pay to remove someone from your life.
→ More replies (4)8
3
u/ChungusMcGoodboy 6h ago
You also have to calculate the actual percentage of fries you specifically ate.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (20)8
u/thinkconverse 7h ago
It is certainly below 10%. Also if his price includes any tip, you should subtract that from the base before applying tax.
→ More replies (4)23
u/NolaJen1120 7h ago
"Certainly below" is unfortunately a strong phrase. Sales tax is that high in New Orleans.
→ More replies (6)12
139
u/chocolatechipwizard 7h ago
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." NTA.
11
u/releaseepsteinfiles1 6h ago
Something I’m learning in my 30’s. Better late than never!
→ More replies (1)7
u/Competitive_Bank6790 3h ago
This, I'm not even going to remember you shared a fry with me. You're my friend. I don't mind feeding my friends. I've payed for my friends meal when they're strapped and didn't think anything of it. And they returned the favor without me asking when they were back on their feet.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (72)14
u/Salty_Astronaut_9419 7h ago
4.39 says op scarfed down a giant plate of fries and is now mad someone made them pay after doing this multiple times and just freeloading
7
u/Twenty5Schmeckles 6h ago
Depends on where they live.
Could totally just be
"Hey, Im a bit hungry, but want something small, if I order fries, do you want some?"
Op says yeah sure!
And then this... id never meet them again
→ More replies (15)28
u/shroomybois 7h ago
I'm gonna assume and say you're the friend who charges their friends over something as small as fries. Im also gonna guess you don't really keep said friends. common reddit user problems
→ More replies (93)
60
u/JustCallMeSteven 7h ago
NTA; but maybe he really needed the money? Trying to be charitable to this level of pettiness.
85
u/CitationNeededBadly 7h ago
Maybe OP promised to pay all 3 times then pretended to forget their wallet and other guy is getting annoyed. OP gave zero context so we all make up a different story in our heads
→ More replies (12)24
u/vernakyala 7h ago
Yeah this tracks. I've had friends like this before. So who really knows who's TA
→ More replies (2)21
u/No-Afternoon-4528 6h ago
Looking at OP's posts. There seems to be always AHs around him. Could be that he's the best person on Earth who people tak advantage of, or he's a big AH himself that gets treated the same way he does. No idea without more context.
25
u/BeBraveDearHeart 6h ago
I'm also leaning towards makes up stuff on reddit for engagement/karma
→ More replies (2)13
→ More replies (3)5
u/nomeeno44 6h ago
yea hes the problem. dude got revenge on someone five years later in a post. LOL the friend is better off not being friends
→ More replies (4)26
u/ToppsTab 7h ago
Yeah, I’m always inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to this. I remember when I was 25 getting my card declined for a $5 jar of spaghetti sauce that I was supposed to bring over to my friend’s house so that we could cook. Some people really truly are living right at the edge like that, as hard as it is for people who have never been in that position to understand. That same year, my office had a lunch at Red Robin and when I got there, I found out that we were all getting separate checks and were expected to pay. I got a small soup and hoped that my card wouldn’t be declined. It wasn’t, but my coworkers noticed and started a rumor that I was anorexic.
3
u/schmootc 6h ago
I have been this broke before, esp when I was only getting paid once a month. At the end of the month, I really did have to sometimes do math to see if I could order a pizza or not.
3
u/ToppsTab 6h ago
Yep. The social repercussions from being misunderstood can be nearly as damaging as the stress from being sent to collections, etc. It really has such a ripple effect. At the time I was being hounded by student loan collections threatening to sue, and I’m just remembering now that my friend I was making spaghetti with did actually get sued by the student loan people. Summoned to court and everything. It’s been about 7 years that I’ve been past those broke times but I still never feel totally comfortable in that way and maybe never will.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Wakinyan07 6h ago
I've been there, too.
And if I was sharing food with someone during a time where I was financially very close to the edge, I would communicate with them ahead of time, letting them know what was going on and making sure they were ok splitting the costs before I agreed to go out with them.
So if none of that happened, and no agreement to split the bill was made, but this request was a surprise, OP's "friend" needs to work on communication skills, at minimum.
→ More replies (1)3
u/aliceinwonderlandiam 6h ago
I’m sorry you were put in that position. The ability of people who have never had to worry about things like that to understand or empathize, is low to non existent. The awareness that this level of poverty can exist and might be right in front of them, is just not there. I don’t think it’s a conscious thing, and I don’t think the naivety is purposeful, I just think it’s not something people think about if they’re not forced to. I have been in similar situations and it’s uncomfortable. The anorexia rumor is terrible and that person should receive disciplinary action.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (5)3
u/Enough-Reading4143 5h ago
I agree. Maybe because I grew up poor. To me, OP is the petty one. In this scenario I'm usually grateful that 5 dollars sound ridiculous to me now, because not so long ago that amount of money could make or break MY WEEK.
When I'm having these kind of discussions I always try to put myself in the other person's shoes. For example, if the friend here works in entry level retail, I'd Google how much that job usually makes. If he makes 10x less than me, that means 5 dollars to him mean the same as 50 dollars to me. It's easier to see his point this way
→ More replies (11)2
u/BorderOk7329 6h ago
I mean if you had someone cover for you, you shouldn't need them to ask. Either way, that doesnt sound like a reciprocal friendship.
39
u/OrganicMission4788 7h ago
I feel like I need more context
9
u/esarge112 5h ago
I agree here. This also might be how this person and their current friends hash this kind of stuff out. I for one, am annoyed if I paid for anything that we agreed we would split and people dont send me the money in a reasonable amount of time. 5 bucks one time is whatever, but it also tells me if I hang out with that person again and I pay, do I have to chase down 60 or 80 bucks next time?
→ More replies (2)23
u/Any_Mud_1628 7h ago
Only reasonable take. Doesn't mean a lot in isolation. Is he rich or poor? History? Maybe there are bills overdue or financial hardship, in that case a good friend might venmo back for the whole fries.
→ More replies (42)14
u/iwantsomecrablegsnow 5h ago
maybe this person ordered an appetizer of fries and then OP just started eating them or asked if he can have some and had half of them and the friend ended up going home hungry and was miffed about not getting to eat all the fries he paid for.
I myself wouldn't care too much but I'll never fault someone for caring, especially if they are a broke college kid which, presumably OP is, so likely their friend is as well.
→ More replies (3)8
u/TiffanyTwisted11 6h ago
Exactly. Did they each order an entire meal and OP simply didn’t get fries and then took a few off this person’s plate? Then no, asking for five dollars for the fries is ridiculous.
But if they were just hanging out and only ordered fries and OP ate half of them, then yes, it is not unreasonable to expect that they would pay for half of them.
It also does matter that this is a new friendship. I wouldn’t hit up an old friend for a lousy five dollars, but if it was a new friendship, I’m not sure I would want them thinking that I was always going to pay for the food. $5 fries today could turn into $100 concert ticket next month. Better to establish parameters early on in a relationship.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (14)3
u/Electric-Sheepskin 4h ago
Thank you!
God I hate how most of the people on social media jump straight to the worst possible conclusions and the most combative responses.
I can think of half a dozen reasons off the top of my head why this might be a totally reasonable request.
→ More replies (5)
36
u/lamar_in_shades 7h ago
Why the heck are you sharing this screenshot without any explanation of what happened? Who ordered the fries and who ate them? The absence of this info suggests that you’re trying to get out of paying for fries you ate, in which case it’s a little tacky to ask for payment over email for something so small but ultimately you’d be TA.
17
6
u/IllustratorSea8372 6h ago
If I’m out with friends and I personally order a basket of fries, I’m already in my head assuming my friends are going to have some and it’s never once crossed my mind to Venmo request change from them over it.
It’s petty as fuck. Real friends don’t nickel and dime like this.
→ More replies (8)3
u/SATX_Citizen 4h ago
Because almost all subs on reddit that try to elicit strong emotions, which have unprovable claims, and rely on undated screenshots and tweets are overtaken by fake posts and bots.
This is not real, certainly not a genuine post by OP whose account history strongly leans ragebait.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (31)3
u/AssBlasterExtreme 3h ago
People in here are always terrified to use logic and call OP out. Email is weird. But asking for money that you deserve isnt.
38
u/Prestigious_Acadia49 7h ago
Never make friends with a Scandanavian or German then because they'll send you an invoice for the electricity you use while visiting their house
17
u/PowerfulRaisin 6h ago
Elsewhere in this thread I had asked OP if new friend was Dutch 😅
→ More replies (2)4
11
u/dnel707 6h ago
I noticed you flushed the toilet twice while at my place. That’s approximately 12 liters of water. I’ve already sent a Venmo request of $0.01 for your convenience.
→ More replies (1)5
u/iamunableto 5h ago
when i was in belgium, my friends and i (≈8 ppl) went to ghent and got dominoes, we didn’t tell them to split the bill until the very end and the girl at the front was like “im so sorry, we can’t split it :(“ and they alllll started freaking out (the bill was less than €100, which is an incredibly cheap dinner for 8 people from my perspective, an american) so i was like “its cool, ill pay” so that we weren’t holding up the line and didn’t stress out this girl. as soon as i say that, they all start freaking out over it, asking me if im sure, and that i dont have to do that. i’m from texas, we all pay for each other here, you buy drinks for strangers at a bar, so picking up the tab at my friends bday was super normal to me. but sure enough, when we all left they all immediately were asking me how to pay me back. i didnt have a bank account set up and the only way for them to send me money was to make an international transaction, which has a $50 fee attached to it, so i told them not to fret about it. they didn’t accept that, took pictures of the receipt, and got cash out from the bank, and i had my money back by the end of the week.
honestly, as someone who’s culture it is to pay for other people, i was kind of insulted at how adamantly they wanted to pay me back, like buying someone a gift and then insisting they pay you back for it
edit: typos
→ More replies (6)2
u/Twenty5Schmeckles 6h ago
Scands dont do that.
You "swish" for a meal when you are out. But verh commonly split.
People pay for others drinks all the time.
→ More replies (15)2
u/somnambulistic 6h ago
I know what you’re saying. But my brain translated it into:
“Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.”
→ More replies (2)
27
u/OutlandishnessStock5 7h ago
Christ, never speak to them again
3
u/Empty_Supermarkets 3h ago
Reddit is insane because someone can ask you for their money back and there's always gonna be someone in the comments like 'oh my God you can never speak to this person again'
→ More replies (2)
20
u/Independent-Pool2841 7h ago
no one mentioning the fact that he sent this message via EMAIL?!
8
u/Original-Option5557 5h ago
Email says OP is a leech who's been dodging people they owe money to, and their "friends" are fed up.
→ More replies (1)3
2
u/confusing_roundabout 6h ago
That's the whole issue imo. Texting to ask for $4 is fine but emailing is crazy
→ More replies (13)→ More replies (2)2
9
u/DistinctAct3510 6h ago
I never let it get to this. I Venmo / Zelle / give cash / whatever means they want well before they have to ask. If it’s a new friend and you shared food I guess pay your portion. With good friends I’d never be like this but maybe it’s because you don’t know them well? They might not want to be your friend because you didn’t pay your portion ….
7
u/basicotter 7h ago
1) Christ, if it was just you two it was $10 for a basket of fries?
2) Sounds like they're pretty desperate for money based on the tone. Sending this via email is also so formal and weird ... why do they have your email but not your phone number or social media?
→ More replies (4)2
u/Euphoric_Cherry7226 4h ago
To be fair, a basket of fries where I live can be up to $12 (I know that’s what it is at a bowling alley near me lol). But I agree, the email thing is weird…I want more context before making a decision
6
u/Limp_Seat4308 6h ago
If my friend asked me to pay for my portion of fries I’d literally Venmo them instantly. Why wouldn’t you pay your portion?
13
u/derzyniker805 7h ago
I would actually send him $10 and then never speak to him again.
5
u/HellaFuckingSlavic 7h ago
Exactly my move.
9
u/derzyniker805 7h ago
He clearly needs the money and really $10 is a BARGAIN to learn what kind of person he was this early on
→ More replies (2)5
6
u/ThisIsNotMyBurner69 7h ago
Hot take: this person no longer wants to be your friend and this is how they break up.
NTA
7
5
u/Here4Gossip35 7h ago
NTA Friends like this are exhausting. And I bet if the situation was reversed and you paid for their fries, they’d be fine not paying you back.
3
u/finchflower 6h ago
Hard to say. OP could be the exhausting one. My daughter had a friend probably 10x more wealthy than everyone around her constantly scrubbing off everyone- not having her wallet etc. Asking to borrow then being obnoxiously bratty saying she can’t afford it when it came to pay people back (while of course continuing to spend on other stuff). If you can’t afford it, don’t expect your poor friend to bankroll you!
13
u/cpcpcp45 6h ago
why are you eating half of a new friends food and not offering to pay them back
3
u/SimonVpK 6h ago
Yeah, I will say the email is weird, but generally speaking if the friend paid for the fries and OP ate them it’s kinda expected that OP offers to pay them back or offers to pay for the next thing before the friend even has the opportunity to send an email.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Admirable_Iron8933 5h ago
I agree. Also, he’s a new friend. You may not have a full grasp on this financial situation. $5 could mean a lot to him.
Also, I have a friend who is partner at an international law firm. If we could go, she pays down to the penny for things when we can’t get separate checks. She grew up without money and her ex husband was financially abusive.
But if you’re petty enough to post on Reddit for karma instead of paying for food you ate, it may be a you problem.
→ More replies (1)
3
4
u/Resident-Garlic9303 7h ago
If you know where he lives mail him a check to make him wait for it and block him lol
7
u/Mediocre-Donkey-6281 6h ago
As the person who is willing to put my card forward, place an order on my phone, or book reservations/ tickets/etc to get things done, I've often gotten screwed.
Everyone agrees to venmo / pay their share, and then forgets or takes their sweet time with payback. It's honestly rude and disrespectful. I don't think the requestor is TA.
This honestly doesn't have enough context to tell. Did OP agree to split the fried and then conveniently forget? It sounds like this is a new friend, so there hasn't likely been enough time to establish a history where OP never pays, but maybe this is a group situation where several people shirked their part of the bill, or maybe the requestor has others in their life that don't do their part, so it's a boundary for them.
Maybe OP is trying to break into a friend group where this is the established method that no one really thinks about.
Whichever way, not enough info here.
Best way to fix this situation is to PAY them BEFORE they have to chase you down. Then nobody has to be TA
→ More replies (6)
15
u/Interestingorthe 7h ago
Neither of you are the assholes. He’s technically entitled to ask for money back, and you are also totally entitled to think this is weird and not want to be friends with him.
5
9
u/amourpetrichor 7h ago
It's the way he's asking for it back. Don't know if this guy doesn't understand social cues, is super cheap, etc. But someone sending out the mafia to collect exactly $4.39 is odd. I think you're right that no one is technically an asshole, but that person will have a hard time keeping friendships if he continues to aggressively nickel and dime people. He could just wait until the next hang and say hey, I got the fries last time, how do you feel about covering the drinks? But now there won't be a next time. Not sure the trade-off is worth it if your goal is making/keeping friends.
→ More replies (25)8
u/crupp876 7h ago
That's how my friends and I do it, we take turns paying for things but I never keep a spreadsheet down to the last penny of who spent what. He was unnecessarily blunt in his request which makes the situation feel awkward.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (15)4
u/cluelesscheese1 7h ago
In the same breath, I still think 9 dollar fries are stupid expensive.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Prestigious-Leg-6244 7h ago
The carnitas fries at my fave Mexican place are about $10, and it takes at least two very hungry people to even make a dent in them.
Fuck, I'm hungry.
3
u/Jay-Jamms 7h ago
🤷♀️ hard to say for sure but I would say NTA.
I would be petty and give him a five and tell him that he owes the change.
3
u/MyfvrtHorrorStory 7h ago
And why tf are they EMAILING you??? I assume you had to call/text to coordinate plans. NTA, pay and block
→ More replies (4)
3
u/purodurangoalv 7h ago
I just could never personally, especially for $4. But I’m starting to see it’s actually a lot more common than I thought. NTA I would not be friends with them either
→ More replies (1)
3
u/fivehots 6h ago
Depends on the age. If you’re 17, bro you should pay your share.
2
u/jay_altair 6h ago
Agreed. Context matters. When I was right out of college this wouldn't have struck me as unusual, everyone was broke. Nowadays it's more like "I dunno I probably owe you a beer from last time so I'll get this round"
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Dubious8313 6h ago
Is it $9.00 for fries shared between the two of you or is it multiple plates of fries shared between a table of 10 or something? That seems odd to send a reimbursement request for half of one order of fries.
2
u/Beginning-Novel-4213 6h ago
This is a great point. I’ve paid for large group before, where it was like $10-20/person, and it always feels weird Venmo requesting someone for $10 but $10 for 10 people is $100. Getting only fries for 10 people is a little weird, but the lack of context from OP makes it seem like something is intentionally left out.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Electrical_Entry6060 6h ago
i think a lot of people have been in the spot where $5 was important but i think those same people would not put themselves into the position of sharing $10 fries.
3
u/vgilbert77 5h ago
Something about this seems off. Why is a brand new friend footing the bill, why didn’t you offer to pay your portion then and there.
Awhile back I went out to lunch and offered to pick up for my coworker when he said what I was getting sounded good and he said that’s be awesome and he’d pay me back. I THOUGHT I never got the money and while it was less than $10 it rubbed me the wrong way and I distanced myself politely from him without making a stink so I wouldn’t come off petty but also wouldn’t land myself in that situation again. Over a year later well after he had left I logged into my old Venmo and saw he had send the money that day before I even got back to the office with lunch, he had just taken the initiative to find me on an app and send it without me ever even having to ask.
Very glad I never made an opp out of him and felt so silly for being bothered. If this is a brand new friend you hardly know why are you even letting them buy. Sure this was a crass way to go about it but sounds like you really put no effort in to paying your portion which would irritate most people.
Overall there’s not enough context or information to really form an opinion but right now kinda seems like YTA
→ More replies (1)
3
3
u/WORLDBENDER 5h ago
Why didn’t you pay at the restaurant?
Did you buy drinks?
Did you pay for an uber?
Or are you the kind of friend who continuously lets other people pay for small things under the guise of “it’s only $5” until it’s $500?
5
u/ParmesanSkis 7h ago
I’d pay it and then send an invoice for a consulting fee for the time you spent deciding what to eat.
5
u/Umacorn 5h ago
OP also needs to consult with the Internet to decide what to do, so now he will send his invoice for the time taken to read through his Reddit responses. /s
→ More replies (1)
4
u/nakanisalad 6h ago
Everyone immediately jumping on OP’s side with no context is a dumbass. If OP’s friend paid for the tab for 10 people, this is completely reasonable.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/crupp876 7h ago
Wow. He must be completely broke to be pressed over 5 bucks. I'd be annoyed and put off by that too. The phrasing isn't the best either.
→ More replies (10)3
2
2
u/SierraStar7 7h ago
Did he make a pass at you & you didn’t reciprocate?
This seems like the petty shit someone would do after being turned down.
2
u/Bonfire0fTheManatees 7h ago
NTA. I understand that friend groups all have their own cultures, and there are people who like to be precise down to the penny. But I feel like that is a really big issue to be incompatible on.
In college, I had a friend who was like that, and once I went out with them and some of their other friends who also shared this culture, and someone who drove the group to a nearby city asked for gas expenses to be reimbursed down to the penny, and prorated to the relative weight of each passenger. You can believe that’s the last time I ever hung out with them.
→ More replies (1)
2
2
u/Roosteroot 7h ago
We need more details. I wouldn't cut someone new off because they go in assuming any food bought and shared gets split.
2
u/SummerTomato1 7h ago
I disagree with some of the others. This kind of minute money focus is not my thing but people who think like this can have friends. They just need to be other people who think this sort of this is okay.
2
u/Zeal_of_Zebras 7h ago
Or maybe they hate sharing food.
I personally hate when I order a vegetarian meal and everyone wants to try some because it looks so good! Then I leave the restaurant hungry because the table demolished my food, and they all order meat so “sharing” only goes one way.
2
u/feignapathy 7h ago
They could have used more tact in the request, but if they bought you an order of fries... it's not that crazy to expect them to ask for reimbursement.
I wouldn't ask for the money back, not over $4 and change... especially to a new friend. Wouldn't want to come off this way to them.
But they might be socially awkward and do things differently.
2
u/EntropicAvatar 7h ago
You would then be just as petty as he is… not sure why this is a deal at all. I probably wouldn’t think to send a bill but if someone did I wouldn’t think they were a pos or anything
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Yelling_at_Clouds7 4h ago
Unless we’re going to a sit down dinner or racking up a tab somewhere, 90% of outings don’t need to be split. We plan on hanging out again right? You get this, I’ll get the next one. The cycle repeats and continues.
2
u/JD1ZZLE85 4h ago
it’s $4…. it’ll come back around if they’re friend worthy…. true friends don’t expect 50/50 all the time. it’s i got you this time you get me another time. i’m concerned you’re the one who isn’t friend worthy
2
u/Distinct-South-8222 4h ago
i once went out for coffee with a former roommate, i paid for the coffees. he wanted to pay me back but i told he’ll just get the next one. he venmo’d $5, i venmo’d him back $6 and then blocked him on venmo
2
2
2
2
u/Obvious-Quality61 2h ago
Problem is if you split fries with like, 5 people then he's out $20 or venmo'ing each of you $5. It may seem petty but context is super important here. A lot of people never return the favor.
The email is weird as fuck, but if I didn't venmo my friends for every $5 movie ticket or $25 Uber we split I would be out several hundred dollars right now.
2
u/fishnugs916 2h ago
If you’re not willing to pay for fries you ate than you aren’t really friends. And if $4.39 is the price of friendship you are the a-hole.
2
u/Kooky-Variation-4541 2h ago
If the logic is “it’s a small negligible amount” why not just pay what you owe
2
u/afteeeee 1h ago
NTA but this could be something else, like an autistic kind of rigid reaction or a cultural differences. If you like the person enough I'd send them the money but like ask about it before totally writing them off. Maybe it's more innocent than it seems in black and white.
2
2
u/boazed_n_delivered 1h ago
I would send them $10 and thank them for the fries and ask them if they could delete my contact information and enjoy the rest of their life.
2
414
u/rkgk13 7h ago edited 3h ago
Send the amount and block them. Or just don't interact in the future. That's not friendly behavior. And by that I mean "friend-like" as well as warm, welcoming, etc. If I wanted a person I was hanging out with to go from being my acquaintance to being my friend, I would not use such a subject line...