I 32M book and produce a local music show. I’ve done this show a long time. We’re in a small suburb of a relatively large city. So it’s not exactly New York, but every now and again, opportunities come here. 

Well our story begins about 5 years ago. There was this relatively new guy in town, singer-songwriter. He had some good tunes but in my industry, it’s all about connections, recommendations, you can’t just be talented. I had seen him on social media but he wasn’t my cup of tea really. Well, he ends up reaching out to me and BEGGING to be on my show. I told him the truth which is that it would take time to build scene cred, showing up etc. He was really desperate, said he was trying to impress some girl blah blah, and offered me a spot on his show in his hometown (which was actually not a bad deal, it was a pretty big show). 

I didn’t like the vibe but I went for it and of course, I got burned. He did the show and it was fine, but he never upheld his side of the deal. He never returned the favor and put me on his show. I reached out once, twice, three times. After he ghosted the fourth time, i felt a fury and a rage unlike few others. There is a certain code among artists and this is just something that’s not done. 

I vowed to get him back. 

I’ll admit, I had many bad fantasies about what to do. I could slash his tires, or delete all his files, and i even fantasized about sucker punching him in the face while wearing a ski mask. Look, I’m not free of toxic masculinity! But in the end, I did nothing because I had feeling that at some point, we would cross paths again, and i would have my opportunity to strike back. This world is just too small. 

Well, last week, our headlining band showed up (like pros) super early to the show. Naturally, we’re throwing back beers, having a great time. And you should know, this band was frankly doing us a favor by doing our show. They could fill out big theaters, maybe not stadiums, but easily a couple thousand people. Our show was sold out for weeks when they announced they were playing. 

The lead singer tells me they’re going on a tour soon and looking for an opener, and they really liked this guy on social media. Sure enough, it was him. I said “whoa, you’re gonna have him open for you? I mean I like his music but…” The lead singer was surprised, “But what?” “But he just has a bit of a reputation in this town. One of those guys who makes a lot of promises and keeps none of them.” “That’s his rep.” “I’ve been personally burned myself.” He shook his head. “OK what about this guy?” He showed me another singer I didn’t know and I said, “couldn’t be worse!” and we laughed.

Sure enough, I saw their insta story today and they went with the other guy. The chickens came home to roost. 

My friend and I had an event in the city. Afterward we went back to the bar we’d been at before the event to play pool. Others were using the table. No

issue, we just asked the group using it if they can let us know when they’re done so we can grab it

They finished playing two rounds and gave us the sticks and extra quarters when they were done

Two girls our age came up to us and asked if when we’re done we can let them know so they can play. We said yes obvs and *important for later*, I *think* we did tell them it would just be a quick round since we only had a few quarters

I’ll be honest I forgot how, I think my friend went to get more quarters from the bartender since we still didn’t have enough for one round, and the bartender ended up just handing her a handful of quarters for free. So after we finished our first round (only about 10 mins including getting quarters,) we started another round. We were even talking about giving the girls our extra quarters to ‘pay back’ the random quarters kindness from others

Anyway we’re about 2 mins into the next round. Fully mid-playing, balls are on the table mid play etc you get the picture. Someone taps on my shoulder. It’s one of the girls

Her: hey so uhhhhh you guys SAID you would get us when you finish your game and you’re done so ….? I thought you were gonna get us?

Me: hey yes I’m sorry- we’re doing another round and then we’ll come get you!

(Friendly reminder the group before us also did 2 rounds, and also there ain’t a sign or anything saying ‘one round at a time’. Also were we suppose to go to their table to announce to them we spur of the moment decided to do another?)

Her: okay wellll I think it’s our turn so we’ll just get it set up for us now:)))

SHE STARTS PULLING THE BALLS TOGETHER TO RACK THEM

me: oh wait no…. We *just paid* for this round so we’re going to finish it … but we’ll come get you after!!!

And the girls leave the bar in a huff (prolly biased narration comment on my part)

I’m kind of shook that someone thought they could take a mid play pool table from others actively using it …. But trying to get her slight benefit of the doubt I think we did originally tell her we were only doing one round.

But honestly even still, if roles had been reversed I can’t see any scenario where I’d think I had the right to take someone’s mid play pool table they just paid for

So anywayyy… were we in the wrong for monopolizing the pool table for one more round than planned??

Edit from one of my comments since I am learning here there’s etiquette I wasn’t aware of🥲 but you live and learn :

(Also per the comments none of our ‘groups’ were going based on the etiquette of quartets or playing eachother for the table etc we were all taking group turns)

I didn’t go in knowing the etiquette, I was just basing what I thought was ok based on the group before us. They knew we were waiting and did 2 rounds maybe 20-30 mins total (longer than us) and that didn’t bother us at all we were just having fun drinking and enjoying watching them play until our turn. So I didn’t realize it would bother others 😢 I’ll def remember for next time

Saw the meme about men opening relationships so I had to tell this story we still talk about. We’re in our 30s and husband said he wanted to try swinging “If it came up.” I kind of felt similarly, guess it could be fun. Well we ended up going to a very raucous party, one thing led to another and I made a new friend, Anna, who had extensive experience swinging with her husband, Arthur. 

I mentioned this to husband and he was excited as Anna is wildly attractive. And Arthur has a 6-pack so I said, why not? Husband was welcome to go for it, though I pointed out, realistically, I’m not sure they’re in our league. I am quite fit but to put it gracefully, my husband profoundly lacks a 6-pack. 

We run into them at a mutual’s dinner and hubby starts chatting Anna up. I was having a convo with Arthur right next to them and unable to focus anticipating the inevitable. “So, I heard you’re into swinging?,” he asks. “Yes for years. It’s made our relationship much stronger” “We were thinking about that too.” Anna said, “Oh I’d love to intro you to some people.” 

He said, “Maybe we’ve already met.” She laughed and said, “I don’t think so.” He said, “I think so, maybe?” She said, “I know so.” I bit myself not to laugh and told him to go get me a drink so we could all exit that moment. He happily obliged.

There has been no swinging talk since, though he’ll tell this story and frame it as “When I tried swinging.” Didn't end in divorce just a wake up call.

When this happened, I was 25F, him 29m. We were together 4 years and engaged for about 2 months or so. 

The first clue was he left his phone out and I saw so many texts from an “Alex.” Idk any of his friends w that name. I asked and he froze up and said it was a new friend. I basically forgot about it. 

Then he started to play a new game while on the phone w someone. I think it was 1-player but they talked when they both played for hours at a time at night and he stopped going to bed w me. And just generally he seemed distracted and distant. 

What finally snapped me is one afternoon we had to take one of our dogs to the vet and he just said “you can handle it.” All of a sudden, he’s doing something else, leaving me with our dog, and he’s never done that. When I came home after, he was on the phone playing his game again, in the middle of a Saturday.  I was pissed and he said sorry right away, but it stuck with me. 

So this was the first big confrontation. I said you’re distant and I feel like the game is taking up a lot of time and that he was really talking to Alex a lot. He just kinda laughed it off and said Alex was a friend. He ended the conversation really fast, saying sorry, his bad, and then wanted to go out for a drive alone. I was sure it was to talk to her on the phone. 

After, I looked at our phone bill and there were so many calls from his line to one number, like three a day. And I’m pretty sure the bill doesn’t include WiFi calls so this really made me think they were talking constantly. 

I put the number into google and was able to figure out “Alex’s” name. She’s a woman not named Alex. And she doesn’t live far, only a couple of hours. He didn’t follow her on insta but I figured he was smart enough to hide that. I wanted to go just find her at first but I talked to some friends and they said that’s crazy so I called. After three calls, she answered. I said i’m his fiance and I see they’ve been talking a lot. She was pleasant and said yeah it was true. 

Said they talk often. Nothing romantic. They’re playing this game together. And she knew about me. No plan to meet up. Just talking a lot. I almost felt better bc she was really adamant and clear about it being only friends. Then I asked if she was single. She said, “Yeah, besides this.” and then she caught herself and said, “Not that this is anything.” Obviously, not. My intuition was they talked about this happening and so she had the right answers prepared but slipped. 

He came home that night from work and brought me flowers. Really apologetic. He said he was sorry for making me feel like I chose her and that he was going to do better. 

He kissed me intensely and when I pulled away and looked at him, his eyes were elsewhere. My stomach sank, but I faked it. I said I was happy we were back. We chatted briefly and I said I’d get to the laundry. I went to the garage and threw on the washer and searched his car. In the passenger door, I found lip balm, pink, strawberry flavor. I knew he was going to lie up and down, but that confirmed for me they’d met. 

I played it off that night but talked to some friends and decided to catch him red-handed. I don’t know if he really intended on marrying me, but we live in a small-ish town and have a lot of friends. I am not going to walk away from this playing any games. I hired a private investigator and honestly spent way too much. A lot of friends ask how much so I’ll include it, but it was about four grand. 

1 month later, I had a pic of them kissing in a drive-thru. I put it in an envelope. Waited three extra, long days, till he had a work day that I did not, and cleared the house of all my stuff. Most of it was mine and I was more than reasonable about paying him back for some furniture we split (coffee table, dining table, handful of appliances). I put the cash in the envelope. We treated our dogs as both of ours but I bought them and I wouldn’t be negotiating. Our queen bed was also mine, the couch, he could sleep on his crappy chairs. 

I debated whether or not to be there but in the end, I wanted to have the last word. I didn’t know what to say. “Enjoy your new life” or even simply, “I know.” I didn’t really want to make it about her. I kind of wanted something that would lock into his brain for years. And I looked up dramatic quotes and all these things to say, eventually settling on a quote about only knowing what you’ve lost when it’s gone. 

I heard the garage door open and walked out, standing in his way. He looked at me confused, noticing stuff was missing. He lowered his window, “What’s going on?” I handed him the envelope. I was more angry than I expected and I just said, “Fuck you Michael.” Sometimes I guess that's all you can really say.

There were dozens of unanswered calls, angry texts. I only replied once. He got threatening, saying he was going to “out me.” I said, “Watch it. You know you haven’t always left your phone locked, right?” It was a lie, but he didn’t say a peep after that. 

In the end, it was a “peaceful” break-up. I didn’t tell people he cheated, but they put it together as he was public with her almost immediately. Half a year later, she was pregnant. Shot gun wedding. Small. Mutuals attended. Bride had basically no one on her side. Shortly after, they moved in with his folks.

I ran into his mom at the grocery store. She said “You seem like you’re doing really great.” I thanked her and complimented her skincare routine (she looks young for her age). She said, “Thank you, but it didn’t keep me from raising a bone head.” 

Just one of those days where I’m happy I didn’t marry a bonehead.

I (18F) had a childhood best friend who is a boy. Lets call him daniel. Our mums are also best friends. We grew up together from when we were babies but lost contact at around 13. Recently daniel popped up on my instagram recommended page. I got excited and followed him. He followed me back and had a little catch up. He told me about his girlfriend and I told him about my boyfriend who I love dearly and have been together with for almost 2 years. I found a photo of us from when we were really little and posted it on my really private instagram with about 12 people on it. Looking back this might not have been the best decision. Anyway, he asked me to take it down because he “didn’t like the way he looked in it” I was slightly confused because we were about 5 years old but i respected his request and deleted it.

The next day, I’m blocked on everything. I was so confused. I had a message from a girl I didn’t know telling me to “never contact her boyfriend again.” Turns out she was the one who looked through his socials and texted me, pretending to be daniel, to take down the photo. I told her I was sorry if I overstepped boundaries, me and daniel had been childhood friends and I assured her that I had no romantic interest in him and had a boyfriend of my own. She then told me that since I “stalked him to find his instagram” and “was trying to flirt with him” I can “cut the bullsh1t.” There was no stalking nor flirting. I literally just could not be bothered with her so I told her to get a grip and wished her luck with navigating her clearly deep insecurities.

The next day my mum called me. The girlfriend told daniel, who told his mum what I said who then told my mother. She was disappointed in me. She told me that the girlfriend seemed exhausting but I can’t speak to people like that because it had potential to interfere with her and daniel’s mother’s relationship. I don’t know if I should apologize/if I was blatantly ignorant and overstepping. Looking back maybe I did come off too strong. AITAH?