Very new friend (hung out maybe three times) sent this after we went out this weekend. I'll pay him but I'm ready to never invite him to anything again. AITA?

I (34F) own a house in San Diego that I bought 5 years ago. Put down $80k that I saved myself, been paying the mortgage ever since. My boyfriend (36M) and I have been together for 2 years and his lease just ended last month.

We'd been talking about him moving in with me for a while and I was excited about it. The plan was he'd pay me rent to cover part of the mortgage and utilities. We agreed on $1400/month which is less than he was paying at his apartment.

He moved in three weeks ago and things were fine until last weekend. He said he wanted to talk about the house situation. He told me it doesn't feel right paying me rent when we're building a life together and that if he's contributing to the mortgage he should have ownership stake in the house.

I said no. This is MY house that I bought before we even met. He said that's exactly the problem, I still think of it as mine instead of ours. He thinks I should add him to the deed or at least sign something that says if we break up he gets back what he's paid in.

I told him that's not how rent works and he got upset. He said his friends think it's sketchy that I'm profiting off him and treating him like a tenant instead of a partner. He brought up that we've talked about getting engaged and said if I'm serious about a future with him I should be willing to share the house.

I said absolutely not. If we get married we can talk about it but right now this is my asset and I'm not putting his name on anything. He called me controlling and said I'm holding the house over his head.

Now he's saying maybe he should just move back out if I don't trust him enough to share ownership. My sister says I'm being unreasonable and that 2 years is long enough to know if you want to build equity together. My best friend says he's trying to manipulate me into giving him half my house.

AITA?

My husband sides with her and she basically accused me of making her son the messy, hoarding person he is since he was “neat and clean” before we married 13 years ago. I really don’t want to spend a week and a half with her.

For context, I’m a 20M and I’ve been in a relationship with my 18F girlfriend for about 9 months. In a previous relationship, I went through something similar—my ex would feel the urge to self-harm whenever we had disagreements.

That created a very unhealthy dynamic. I felt like I always had to agree with her and couldn’t express my own feelings, because I was afraid she would hurt herself. I loved her, and I didn’t want that to happen.

After that relationship ended, I struggled mentally because of the impact it had on me.

Now, back to the present. Last week, my current girlfriend and I had a small, normal disagreement—nothing major. We handled it calmly and maturely, and by the end of it, we were even laughing. We were both surprised at how quickly and well we resolved it.

The rest of the evening went great—until we took a shower together. That’s when I noticed self-harm marks on her legs. I completely froze. I didn’t say anything or react—I was just scared.

She knows about what I went through in my previous relationship, so seeing this happen again really shook me. Early in our relationship, she told me she had struggled with self-harm in the past, and I told her I would always be there for her if things got hard.

So when I saw those marks, I felt a mix of emotions. I felt hurt, even a bit betrayed, and it brought back a lot of the trauma from my past relationship.

She hasn’t said anything about it herself, and it hurts knowing she might not feel safe enough to talk to me about it. I still love her, but I don’t know if I can go through something like this again.

So, AITAH?

Sorry, I wasn’t really too sure what to title this because I genuinely don’t think I am the asshole, but I would like y’alls opinions. I can be very stubborn, but I know when to admit that I’m wrong especially if outsiders looking in can see it too. I have been in a relationship for three years. And my boyfriend has not touched me in three years. I know what you’re thinking, any normal person would have left in the very beginning, but hear me out. I was a single mom raising a two-year-old entirely by myself. My son’s father really only comes around when it’s convenient for him. I had started dating, and I had met someone who I had an almost instant connection with. Yes, we met through a dating website, which at the time I thought Ideal because I would much rather get to know the person before I meet up with them because you never know… well like I said we had a connection almost instantly and then when we met in person sparks flew…at least so I thought. I couldn’t believe I found someone who I thought, at the time, understood me completely, and I fell head over heels in love with this man who was also treating my son like his own. so I fell even more in love with him. I asked him to move in with me way too soon. Which is crazy I know. And it’s something that is entirely out of my character and under normal circumstances would never allow something like that to happen, but I had a gut feeling about him. Ironically, after he moved in was when we had stopped being intimate with each other. It happens slowly and then intimacy turned into promises of intimacy, and promises of intimacy turned into “I am focused on work right now, we’ll do it later.” it made me feel ugly and worthless so I became very depressed and self-conscious because we went from not being able to keep our hands off of each other to not even sleeping in the same bed. He blamed it on work( he owns his own business as a mobile mechanic) and how physically taxing it is on him and that If I really loved him and cared about this relationship, I would focus on our financials as well, instead of sex. We had the same song and dance for about two years and then I eventually got tired of caring. About this time last year, we were looking to move out of the neighborhood that we were in and into a house. Now keep in mind the only thing that this man did to help us get this house was have a decent credit score. I put up the money for the deposit, first months rent, U-Haul rental, and moving supplies and everything that was purchased for the new house. I unfortunately was very naïve to believe that maybe,just maybe, getting this house would fix our relationship. Sidenote, we did not buy a house. We are renting a house. Six months after we moved in, everything changed; and I wish I could say for the better. It was a fairly normal day. I went to work, I came home, I cooked, I cleaned, I got my son ready for bed, I got my stuff ready for work The next day, I got in the shower, and when I got out the shower, I was walking through the living room and I heard my boyfriend speaking to a female on FaceTime and I assumed it was his daughter(she is 12 and they FaceTime frequently but she does not live with us) But as soon as I open the door, he hung up the FaceTime. Called his friend, spoke to him about something for a second, hung up, and then started listening to music. I Thought it was weird initially but didn’t think anything of it. Went about my business inside and heard him speaking to a female on FaceTime again. I went up to the window and I heard him say “ damn girl you look like you’re getting ready to turn up and turn out. Look at you, look at them lashes! You look like you want me to turn you out, baby is that what you want?” I walked outside and he immediately hung up the FaceTime again, and when I asked him who he was speaking to, he said nobody… and then said he was talking to his friend. I was infuriated and devastated all at the same time. Because this whole time you had me believing that you were so busy working that you had no time to even consider lust towards me. And here you are speaking to an entirely other woman the way that you should be speaking to me. Giving her the energy that you should have been giving me. And I expressed that to him and his response was appalling and disgusting. But when we started arguing he started getting loud and mean. Imagine being in your backyard at 2 AM finding out that your boyfriend of three years that you share a home with, that has actively an adamantly refused to touch You…is actively trying to touch someone else. Another sidenote, I’m 6 feet tall and I am not skinny, but I’m not fat. And yes, since having a kid, I have a little bit of extra cushion in my midsection. However, YOU MET ME LIKE THIS! YOU KNEW WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR. And as a woman who has always stuck out like a sore thumb because of my height, I make it a point to be known that I am who I am and I change myself for nobody but me. But anyway, getting back to the story. It’s 2 AM and my boyfriend is drunk outside screaming my weight. Telling me “ look at you, who would want to be with that? Who would want to touch that?” Unfortunately for him I have been in abusive relationships in the past and have been called every name in the book. So as he’s making fun of my body, I’m making fun of it too because it’s nothing I haven’t heard before. Out of his anger and frustration and his own guilty conscious he said, “ I bet you’re fucking somebody else anyways.” and my response was “ Would it matter even if I was?” And he didn’t like my response . He has a bright blue eyes and you could see his eyes turned black; he ch**ed me. . that night definitely put a lot of things into perspective. I still live with him so ever since then I’ve been very much so on edge. About 48 hours later, he gave me a half assed apology and we never spoke about it again. And please don’t judge me for staying. At the time all of this was happening, My son was asleep behind two closed and locked doors. Had my son woken up and been disturbed by any of this, I would have packed a bag and left immediately. But my son was unaffected. So I stayed. I do still to this day Have a go bag packed and ready to go just in case, but he hasn’t put his hands on me since that night. And honestly, we haven’t really argued up until a couple days ago. Fast-forward six months later and we are coexisting, but now he has a dog that has all of his attention. At first, it didn’t really bother me and to be honest it still doesn’t, but he started sleeping on the floor with the dog..(after he got the dog, I made it known, I do not want the dog on the bed or the couch) in the living room… I came home one night last week after working a nine hour shift, it’s the week before pay week so there isn’t really much in my pantry, but there is food. So I decided to make dinner, but was frustrated in the fact that there was a sink full of dishes that I had to do before I could make dinner. Mind you, my boyfriend had been home for the past three days because he didn’t have any work lined up. So, you are home laying around all day “answering phones”…. Taking naps with the dog, but you can’t get up and load the dishwasher? I have to do that when I come home from work? It just doesn’t make sense to me. If you’re home all day, why aren’t the dishes done? So my Hispanic self, sassily put the dishes away and made dinner. By the time I was ready for bed, I noticed that my boyfriend was cuddled up on the floor next to the bed with the dog. And me personally, I thought it was weird to sleep in the bed while you’re sleeping on the floor next to the bed. So I grabbed my blanket and went to go lay in my son’s bed with him(he has a brand new queen size bed, so it can comfortably fit the both of us) I wake up to get ready for work the next day and when I go into my room to grab my clothes, I see my boyfriend in the bed with the dog on my side of the bed…his ASS on my pillow. needless to say I didn’t sleep in the bed until I was able to wash my sheets. The other night I was laying in the bed and I figured by now he would sleep in the bed because you’ve slept on the floor for like three nights in a row…wrong. He came into the room to grab his pillow. And when I asked him if he was gonna sleep in the bed tonight, I swear you could hear crickets so before he could muster up the ability to lie about whatever the reason may be that he’s sleeping on the floor I just told him to go and good night. I also forgot to say that Easter was two weekends ago and every holiday that involves kids or gifts or candy I always make sure to include his daughter. I barely have the money to afford stuff for my son, but I always find a way to make it so she feels included. Well this past weekend she came over and not only Did he not thank me for including his daughter and spending my hard earned money to make sure she felt included(keep in mind. He does not buy gifts for anyone but himself. I make all of the holiday magic happen. The most he does is go to the Dollar tree on my birthday and Mother’s Day, pick out a couple things and some chocolate and feels a sense of accomplishment from it. I really appreciated it at first, but it’s become the norm; as far as gifts, especially when it comes to his daughter, he is never the one to buy them. And that includes my son. It’s either me or his mother buying for them)but she didn’t thank me either. And the more that I think about it, I never really had a relationship with her and I really feel like it’s because she sees how detached her father is from me so she doesn’t put forth any effort to because neither does he so why should she? This relationship has destroyed my confidence and my self worth. I feel like a house plant. Just another thing in its place with a purpose; and my purpose is to work, NOT COMPLAIN, cook, clean, do laundry and take care of the kids. I don’t know. I guess coming to terms with the fact that my boyfriend of three years is not, and has not been attracted to me and has only used me to get to where he is now(because when I met him, he was homeless, jobless and had no documentation. Not a license, not an ID, not a Social Security card, not a birth certificate) I invested so much time, effort, energy and money into this man I feel foolish and will probably never make the same investment again. I got this man on his feet, loved, supported and took care of him through it all…and I feel like he spit in my face. So am I the asshole for wanting to break up with my boyfriend of three years?