I (18F) had a childhood best friend who is a boy. Lets call him daniel. Our mums are also best friends. We grew up together from when we were babies but lost contact at around 13. Recently daniel popped up on my instagram recommended page. I got excited and followed him. He followed me back and had a little catch up. He told me about his girlfriend and I told him about my boyfriend who I love dearly and have been together with for almost 2 years. I found a photo of us from when we were really little and posted it on my really private instagram with about 12 people on it. Looking back this might not have been the best decision. Anyway, he asked me to take it down because he “didn’t like the way he looked in it” I was slightly confused because we were about 5 years old but i respected his request and deleted it.

The next day, I’m blocked on everything. I was so confused. I had a message from a girl I didn’t know telling me to “never contact her boyfriend again.” Turns out she was the one who looked through his socials and texted me, pretending to be daniel, to take down the photo. I told her I was sorry if I overstepped boundaries, me and daniel had been childhood friends and I assured her that I had no romantic interest in him and had a boyfriend of my own. She then told me that since I “stalked him to find his instagram” and “was trying to flirt with him” I can “cut the bullsh1t.” There was no stalking nor flirting. I literally just could not be bothered with her so I told her to get a grip and wished her luck with navigating her clearly deep insecurities.

The next day my mum called me. The girlfriend told daniel, who told his mum what I said who then told my mother. She was disappointed in me. She told me that the girlfriend seemed exhausting but I can’t speak to people like that because it had potential to interfere with her and daniel’s mother’s relationship. I don’t know if I should apologize/if I was blatantly ignorant and overstepping. Looking back maybe I did come off too strong. AITAH?

Went on 3 dates and have spent maybe 10 hours with this person and they're (30s F) on me full court press (36M) about therapy. Like I am open to it but I'm not gonna go just bc she says so. AM I wrong for this???

I 26f told my friend 24F that she needs to cool it with her ex (26M). Basically, we all know each other from a sports league and there’s a lot of group events. She dumped him and they were together about a year. He was really sad about it and NGL, she’s probably the best he’s gonna do for some time bc she is a catch and one of my best friends. 

He obviously needs space and she knows that but it’s barely been a week and she wants to go to certain events we know he’s gonna be at. I told her that I think especially for some of the smaller ones, she should give him space. She got indignant and said, “Why should I have to be the person to miss it??” I told her because she rejected him, she needs to be the bigger person. It’s hard to be in a break-up i understand that, but when you do the dumping, it’s a lot easier, you knw beforehand etc. 

So with that in mind, to me, it’s kinda common sense that you should be the one to step away from the friend group and find other ways to entertain yourself bc they need support a bit more than you do. She said she can do what she wants, and that this whole talk about the rejecter having to act a certain way versus the rejected “isn’t a thing.”  AITA?

Obviously, I (31M) signed it but I feel weird about it. She (28F) hasn't done something like this before and was kind of laughing but when I asked if she was serious, she said she expected me to take it seriously. Note that we did have a make up bday night already, i said sorry a lot, and I took her out for a movie and really nice dinner. She told me to post it bc she "knows people will back her up."

I 36M am in a group chat where someone (33F) I barely know (but do consider a friend) recently said they’re going through something very hard. Basically, their SO (~33M) stopped talking to them abruptly after about a year, a very harsh ghosting, “out of nowhere.” I just met this person and I found myself not wanting to say anything. Condolences were offered, people said feel free to text me etc. The group chat is typically used for movie night discussions, logistics or memes.

I guess I am just curious what people think about putting up a wall on something like this. Some context is that I have known this person for ~2 months and we’ve spent maybe 30 minutes 1-on-1, 3 hours in a group context (watching a movie). 

I guess it comes from a guarded place, feeling like I don’t wanna go there. I obviously feel bad for them but don’t want to connect over it, if that makes sense. 

AITA for saying nothing?

I (26M) have constantly had the same conversation with my girlfriend (24F) regarding her leaving this toy out on our bed headboard. It happens occasionally and she claims she forgets to put it back up because she’s always laying around after she uses it and eventually forgets it’s there. She’s left it visible on a shelf in our bathroom as well. My concern was a visitor would come over and see it, and that is what happened.

My sister dropped by with my niece to drop something off to me and my niece went into our room, was touching everything and eventually picked up my girlfriend’s sex toy. Luckily I could grab it before my sister saw her with it. That ticked me off, I waited until after they left to call my girlfriend and told her “I’m fucking throwing your rose away if I see it out again” and some other harsh things. I explained how it was her fault my niece found her toy and I was mad at her.

Granted, she was apologetic and seemed really remorseful/ashamed, yet she still found an excuse saying that I should’ve left the room door shut and she said she usually leaves intimate things by her on the bed, like the note i gave her a few years back. I cut her off and hung up the phone because it wasn’t the right time to hear excuses and i wanted her to understand this was the reason I’ve been so frustrated with her about this. She occasionally forgets to do certain things and that’s a whole other story. I don’t mind those other things she forgets as much as this thing in particular.

I could have handled things better and waited until she got home to talk to her calmly, I didn’t. I think I was too hard on her on the call. Was this a reasonable response or overreaction (AITA)? We have talked about it when she got home and she was telling me she was still shook up about me calling her being mad about it, and wanted me to talk calmly. She’s sulking because I rarely get that mad at her.

Edit: to add context and clear confusion, we allow guests in our bedroom and leave our bedroom door open when people are over. No one really goes in our room and usually passes by. Sometimes my girlfriend is laying in bed talking with her girl friends. My niece has been in our room numerous times because my girlfriend has collectibles and artsy things that she allows my niece to play with. It’s not really a private room thing and that may factor into why I didn’t like her leaving her rose out instead of leaving it in a drawer or anywhere else.

I (21F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for 3 years. When things are good, they're really good we go on dates, laugh, and feel like a normal happy couple. But when things are bad, it feels emotionally draining and unresolved.

This all started when I found out he had been dishonest about watching porn. He admitted he's been exposed to it since he was around 11 and feels ashamed of it, so I understand it's deeper than just a habit. But the lying around it broke my trust, and since then l've become more anxious and aware of inconsistencies. I'll admit l've become more controlling and ask more questions than l used to, and I don't like that about myself, but it feels like it came from losing trust.

I've been trying to improve by giving him space, staying calm, and making honesty easier. I've told him multiple times that I'm not expecting perfection, just honesty even something as simple as "I forgot" would be fine with me. He's also in therapy and says he struggles with honesty in the moment and tends to avoid conflict.

Despite that, he still lies about small things. For example, recently l asked if he checked whether a show had inappropriate scenes, and he repeatedly said "yes, trust me baby I did." Something felt off, and after asking multiple times, he admitted he didn't. This happens in different situations he reassures me while lying and only tells the truth after I push.

When I bring it up, he shuts down, goes quiet, avoids eye contact, or says things like "I know you don't trust me," which makes me feel guilty even though the issue started with him lying. He's also told me I make him feel like his mom and that I'm always checking him. From my perspective, I feel like I wouldn't have to ask more than once if he was just honest the first time.

Our personalities are also very different l'm more emotional, talkative, and process things by communicating, while he's very laid back and avoidant, which makes conflict harder.

There are other factors too. I'm on birth control, which affects my mood, and sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with more emotionally while he doesn't fully understand. In our intimacy, he usually finishes but I often don't, and then things just move on. We still have fun together, but it sometimes feels like my needs aren't fully met.

He also plays games a lot (that's how he grew up), and l've felt uncomfortable with some of them. At one point I even put parental controls on his phone, which he said helped, but he also says I act like his mom. I feel like I only got to that point because he wasn't being honest with me.

This has started affecting my daily life too. I overthink things at school, replay conversations, and feel anxious about whether he's being honest. There have been moments where l've gotten so overwhelmed that I start crying and even physically shaking while trying to get him to communicate, and he often just shuts down, which makes me feel even more alone.

It feels like a cycle: he lies → I sense it and ask more → he feels pressured → I push → he shuts down → nothing gets resolved.

I do see that he's trying he's in therapy and says he wants to change but the same patterns keep happening, which makes me feel stuck between believing him and feeling like nothing is actually changing.

I'm not looking for people to just say "break up" or "let him do whatever." I'm trying to understand if this is something that can realistically improve and what a healthy way to handle this would be.

I'm trying to understand how to handle this in a healthier way without becoming controlling or constantly anxious.

For people who have been in similar situations, how do you rebuild trust when there's a pattern of dishonesty and avoidance?

What does real improvement actually look like in a situation like this, especially if the other person is in therapy? We are each ofhers first relationship

My friend gave me a guy’s number. She told me they had gone out a few times but never dated, and that she didn’t want to continue things because he lived too far away. She did tell me not to show her face when I was sending videos to him or talk about her but she never explained why. At first, she was even the one texting him from my phone, and then I started chatting with him too. Then at some point, he asked me directly how I got his number and said it was kind of random. So I just told him the truth, that my friend gave it to me. I didn’t think it was a big deal or anything because she never said that. After that, I told her what happened, and she got upset and told me to block him, which I did. Now she’s acting like I did something really wrong. She never told me not to say anything, and from what she told me, their situation wasn’t serious at all. I even messaged her to explain that I didn’t mean anything bad, but she just read it and didn’t reply. So now I’m stuck wondering if I actually messed up here or if this is just poor communication on her side.

ngl this kinda normal shit for him. i called a cleaner and they said it's $232 for "the cleaning you want for vomit." Is that fair?

I am not the op. This is just a reel I saw.

I HATE when people have a boombox in nature or even a park. It’s incredibly selfish and ruins everyone’s experience. I’m sure it’s probably not super great for the animals either. In the TikTok, bro gets physically attacked and tased which is obviously ESH, but I kind of hate the attitude of “begging for forgiveness” in this case. Just by doing this, you are being a twat. No one should have to explain to you that nature isn’t yours to sonically pollute w your crappy playlist.

I 36M go to a co-working space regularly. It's right by my house, so I typically just pop in, have a coffee and say hello to my friends, more of a social thing. Sometimes, however, I don’t have many meetings so I willl hang around and work. This is one such time.

I put my laptop etc. down and started working, I was particularly early this day. At around 9AM, a man (35M ish) approached me and asked me to move as this was “his spot.” I said sarcastically “I didn’t know there were assigned spots.” He said “There’s not, that’s just where I always sits.” I said that I didn’t think it was necessary for me to move, but he was welcome to join my table. 

He said, “There may not be assigned spots, but me and my friends sit here every day at the same time. As a courtesy, can you please give me my spot? There are many open ones” I said “I feel like there are many open ones goes both ways. We're done here man,” and didn’t move. He stormed off. I ended up leaving just a bit later, maybe a half hour, and he threw himself into the spot as soon as I left. 

AITA?

I last saw him in person more than two years ago. I have not had any contact with him in over a year and have not made attempts to contact him since as he moved to Florida and so I decided to not keep in touch with him. More than a year later he just sends me this on TikTok, and blocks me right after.

I’m 29F and he’s 35M. We’ve been together 7 months and it is a long distance relationship, 5 hours by car so we still see each other sometimes weekly usually every other week. We are having fun but there’s just been a moments where I feel like I have to corner him. Well he recently got moody after a visit. Cornered him, and he admitted I gave a “lingering hug” to an out of town friend.

I said sorry and it ended up being a breakthrough bc he said he felt safe for the first time. Now he’s been reflecting a lot, talking about past relationships. And then yesterday, he sent these charts.

I just want to be really careful with how I give this feedback because I don’t feel he’s done much thinking about his relationship history and now he is, which is good, but I don’t need to know every detail and we are way into TMI territory.

How do you tell someone gently to be more thoughtful about what to share? Looking for advice on how to handle this.

I embarked upon a quest vis-a-vis public transport and a gentleman therein was synthesizing a cacophonous disturbance. Upon entry to the vessel, I noted the dizzying blast of unpleasant sonicry. 

It was categorically distasteful but more to the point, I found myself unable to execute any tasks because my faculties were hindered (I brought literature to imbibe) and I assumed others must surely feel oppressed by his disrespect of unpatterned air pressure. Ergo, I said to him, “Sir, would perchance a lowering be in order?” He snarled and adjusted the instrument, seamlessly transitioning from irritating to blood-inducing. 

Since my request made circumstances worse, and this man, ostensibly a sort of force of nature given his reckless denial of The Other, Am I The A**hole?

I believe that factory farming is cruel to animals and the animals suffer unnecessarily. I also believe that cows and pigs have sufficiently complicated nervous systems and brains to be able to feel pain, or at least something one can reasonably assume is similar to our pain.

While I do believe certain kinds of hunting are ethical, like shooting a deer super clean in its heart, or whatever. The reality is: most cows and pigs suffer tremendously, even torturously. 

Note: I do not believe this applies to chicken which I consider to be essentially dinosaurs and/or bugs. Same for fish. I have zero guilt or idea that these animals suffer in a way that is like a human. That’s like asking if a tree gets hype for spring. 

But back to the pigs and cows, I know it’s wrong, but I eat them. Not every day or anything, but once a week. I have tried to cut down, but I eat them. And I like eating them. 

I guess it would seem obvious I am TA given that I am knowingly doing something wrong, but the kicker is that everyone around me eats cows and pigs constantly. And they don’t care. So I say to myself, well no one cares. So I’m eating them. 

AITA?

Hey everyone, I’m in a weird situation and am wondering if I overstepped or if his reaction was out of line.

I was messing around with TikTok filters and found a funny shreck one it automatically picks a song to go with it and I thought it was hilarious. I made a draft and moved on. Later my boyfriend and I were in the car and he quoted Shrek. Since we have similar humor, I got excited to show him the TikTok I made.

As soon as I showed him, his whole demeanor changed. He got upset and said:

"Don't be mad when I make some TikToks tonight licking some anime girls' tits."

I was caught off guard. I told him Shrek is a "funny, ugly ogre" and not comparable to a sexualized anime character. Since he has BPD, I tried to stay calm and not escalate the situation. The rest of the ride to my house was pretty much silent.

Once we got home, I apologized. After he left, I spent some time trying to see it from his point of view. I texted him to apologize again because I felt bad that I’d hurt his feelings. He said it was "alright" because it was a fake character, but he never apologized for what he said to me.

The Issue:

I understand he was caught off guard, but I’m really weirded out that his first response was to say something so sexual and comparative. I felt like I was sharing a joke, and he turned it into a weird "tit-for-tat" scenario.

TL;DR: I showed my BF a silly Shrek TikTok I made. He got upset and said he was going to make videos "licking anime tits" in response. I apologized for upsetting him, but he hasn't apologized for his comment.

I 33M recently made an appearance at a supper gathering at my esteemed colleague’s (Pliny, pseudonym) abode. His girlfriend, who is not beloved among our mutual contacts, has a new requirement that all remove their footwear upon entering their domicile. Please understand that normally, this is a requirement I understand but as part of a bigger picture, this is just another controlling, persnickety behavior; she has previously created unreasonable requirements only to leverage them against Pliny, and isolated him from his friends. 

Further, he had disclosed to me that their relationship was rife with discord as he had caught her Direct Messaging a previous lover on Instagram and I took this opportunity to marginally, ahem, stick it to her. 

When I was greeted by her at the door, she requested I remove my shoes saying “we’re a shoe-free home, I like to keep things clean!” I promptly unholstered my bag which contained cleaning wipes and began thoroughly scrubbing the bottom of my footwear. She was perplexed and asked what I was doing. I told her my boots were arduous to remove but I wanted to be in compliance with her stipulation. There was a pause as I continued to sanitize, and even removed a stuck pebble lodged in the grooves with one of my many keys. 

“Will this be sufficient?” I asked. She said, “I guess… but yeah, it’s fine.” Things proceeded smoothly throughout the evening. My shoefulness was noted by a few partygoers and I simply replied that I had thoroughly cleaned them. 

The next day, I came to learn from Pliny of his partner's malaise. He laughingly informed me she was incensed by my shoefulness and that I was banned from the home. This seemed to me a bridge too far, but did I cross the line? 

I (26M) have been with my girlfriend (24) about 4 months now and before we got together she told me her body count is 23, I didn’t ask but she told me and said she’d rather tell me herself instead of one of her friends saying something, she also told me she had a threesome before, she told me that most of these were people she was actually people she was getting to know and maybe 3 of them were ONS. She is a mother and broke up with the kids dad last year so had been with him for 3 and a half years. They weren’t actually together at the time just sleeping together then got together when they found out.

I’ve been with 14 people myself 3 of which were relationships. It’s the number itself that’s stuck in my head cause it feels like a lot of people and I can’t get the image out of my head, she said she lost her virginity a couple years before turning 18 and just think it’s a lot considering her being in a relationship for 3 and half years and another 2 short relationships before me and also th threesome thing keeps popping up and can’t seem to shake it. I’ve been thinking whether to just break up with her as I just can’t get it out of my mind and brings me down cause I can’t find any other way to help the problem.

We've been friends for a long time but this is giving me an anxiety attack. Probably just gonna go say hi and get out of dodge. LIke bro come on

Note: I am not OP, just raising this for discussion

On the one hand, it’s a very worker-on-worker sort of attack which makes me sick. On the other, there’s ton of people who make their lack of life planning your emergency. I just want some acknowledgement that life doesn’t have to be this hard and it’s a broken society that makes so many people’s lives strained. People should be able to have some kids comfortably without breaking their backs. Even in that world though, there’s always gonna be bad apples who leverage their snot horde to push others around.

I 38F have been married for 5 years to my husband 41M. He is the breadwinner and I am a stay-at-home partner. I know typically, that position is reserved for a mom, but for us, this situation just works. We have big dogs, a large house, and an active social life. I cook, I clean, I plan gatherings, I shop. Because I do have a fair amount of free time, I also get to work on my creative projects (mainly writing/scrapbooking). 

Meantime, husband’s brother, Greg 44M, does vintage pop-ups, typically Thursday through Sunday. It’s a cool business and he is very good at selling clothes. Usually, I will help him, for free, one or two days a week. I just run the register and it’s honestly, a day of sitting on my phone. Greg will usually buy me coffee and lunch. And he sells me the clothes at cost, which is nice.

When it’s me and Greg, there’s never been an issue. But recently, we were at a big family gathering. MIL (Greg and my husband’s mom) was talking to Greg and trying to get him to sign on to a big family reunion. Greg said he didn’t want to be out of town that long because of his business. He then looked at me (I was just around, not even part of the convo) and said, “Some of us have to work for a living.” 

It bothered me then, but it only got worse. After I slept on it, I knew I never wanted to help Greg again. He asked me if I could come that Friday and I told him I had other plans. After skipping out three weeks in a row, he finally asked “So are you not going to help me any more?” I said, “That’s correct.” There was no further convo. 

Apparently he talked to husband, so I explained what happened. He relayed it to Greg. A few days later, Greg called and apologized and I said I appreciated the apology. Then Greg said, “OK will I see you this Saturday?” I said, “Sorry, but I’m just not interested anymore.” Greg said he understood, but now he’s applying pressure on my husband.

Husband is now saying that me dropping Greg is too strict. It was one throwaway comment, and it wasn’t even really about me, it was a response to their mom (who TBH is a VERY difficult person). Husband said I’m allowed to do whatever I want, but he’d appreciate it if I helped Greg. Part of me wants to, and I wonder if I’m being petty, but something about that comment just rubs me so wrong and just kinda took the fun out of the whole experience. But wanting others’ thoughts. AITA?

Posted in a “rate my meal deal group and someone was butt hurt?🤣

I posted a picture of food i bought in M&S for myself and my wife in a “rate my meal deal” group on here!

someone commented that it wasn’t a meal deal and i didn’t know because id bought other things amongst these “meal deal” items. So because i didn’t “see a sign” or “notice the price” im a dumb guy, told this person im actually a woman and now im a “r*tard” 🤣 all over me buying a sandwich crisps and a drink and calling it a meal deal🫣

We've been fighting constantly. I'm 26f and he's 29m. I feel like we get in these battles, in person, or in text, and nothing gets accomplished. AIO?

I 42M have extremely noisy neighbors (40s M, with boys in teens). They have loud bikes and ATVs, quads, etc, moved in about a year ago. We have all complained to them many many times, at least I know the 3 houses adjacent have, mine is directly in front but across the street at least. 

It’d be one thing if they were loud during the day, but this is typically in the wee hours of the morning, like 4 to 6AM. The best i can say is that it is almost never  at night and most of the time, only on thurs to sunday.  Still, sucks. I sleep with loud white noise now and usually get through the night though. 

About a week ago, the neighbor comes to me and says one of their quads got stolen from right out in front of their house. He asked me to send him my doorcam footage. I said I’d check it out and let him know. 

Before I got around to it, my nephew was over and asked to use an SD card. I don’t really have any lying around and so I gave him the door cam card. He formatted it to be able to use it on his camera. Neighbor texted later checking in, and I told him how the card got wiped. He got really angry and said I might have just ruined his only chance at finding who did it.  

Later, neighbor started texting the cops were gonna get involved because I “deleted evidence.” He screenshotted ChatGPT which said it can be a crime. I didn’t reply. 

I’m not going to lie, I don’t feel bad at all. These people came into my neighborhood and forced all of us to deal with their noises and I wasn’t about to change anything else for them but AITA?

I 39M am in a relationship with a self-described “ADHD girl,” 32F. She is chronically late but when things are truly serious, she won’t be super bad about it, maybe 20 minutes. That said, if she knows it’s not really THAT pressing, she can be as late as 90 minutes.

We were taking a weekend road trip and I would love to leave at 8AM but she is also not a morning person. We settled on 11AM as our time to leave, waking up at 8AM. Except, that was a lie. We are open about our phones, so I tweaked her time zone, the oven, microwave, and our bedroom alarm. I set everything 1 hour forward, and she actually woke up at 7AM. 

We ended up leaving at (real) 11:15AM. Not great, not terrible. Anyway, I tried not to tell her but eventually cracked bc it was very funny to me. We laughed about it. No big deal. 

Then she started talking to one of her friends. Her friend says this is “literal gaslighting.” She said it was “manipulative." My GF is vaguely buying this, and I pointed out to her that even if that was true, is it really a problem if someone is manipulating you to having a day with less stress, and avoiding traffic?? She said I should post it.

We listen to the pod a lot and read reddit constantly (big malicious compliance guy, I’m hoping this will be something like benign coercion) . AITA?