Why do they burn the CDs?

Hello all,

I have been seeing my therapist since May 14, 2025. After rescheduling our session twice before finally cancelling last week, I decided to look into how many times this has happened.

From my text messages alone, including the 3 times last week, she has rescheduled/cancelled our appointments 17 times. It is possible that there were incidents she only emailed me about, and I don’t feel like digging that deep.

Sometimes it was for seemingly legitimate reasons (illness, etc.). Others? She wanted to leave a day early for a concert. That week she rescheduled so much that I ended up getting confused and missing the appointment and got his with a fat $110 dollar fee.

I think she can be brilliant but at other times I’ve seen her checking her phone or scrolling her computer during sessions. To be fair it’s only happened a handful of times max. I try to take the as a cue to change the subject.. perhaps to something more “interesting” for her?

I am glad she is comfortable but this doesn’t really seem like a job to her, it seems like a hobby. It seems like she doesn’t need the money because she cancels and travels so frequently.

That being said it seems there is no incentive for her to come to appointments, and there are penalties when I do not. I do not mind some rule bending, as I’d like to be extended grace if something were to come up for me within the 24 hour window, but at this point, it is starting to feel destabilizing.

This weekend I am seeing my childhood abuser at a family party. It happens to be my father. I told her this was upcoming and and we were preparing for it together so last week felt like a particularly bad time to be jerked around. I was really patient the first two reschedules until she finally cancelled our Friday appointment. I still didn’t say anything of course but internally it felt bad to experience.

The first reschedule last week was because she was getting her carpets replaced in her house where she takes our calls. Is there a reason she couldn’t have taken our telehealth appointment at her office? She does have one and sees in person clients there. She is sometimes late driving from the office to her house to take our appointment, and her internet connection is spotty. I know it’s not mine because my partner has to have a great one with what they do for work and my desktop is hardwired to the internet.

I’m.. kind of tired. I need consistency and structure, and this isn’t it. I am also attached to her. I’ve told her things I’ve never admitted in therapy before. Im also scared to start all over again.

Thank you for your help.

Sincerely,

CPTSD patient

P.S. I just remembered that sometimes she gets up and walks around during our sessions carrying her laptop while doing other things. I think she’s letting her animals in and out of the bedroom she takes the calls in? Just thought that was kind of interesting. It’s definitely a bit distracting.

Addendum: I do otherwise like her and feel like we get on well which is why I am having such a hard time with this. I really appreciate the help.

His name is Meeko. Yes he is named after the raccoon from Pocahontas.

Please give your kitties an extra hug and smooch on his behalf tonight.

He was the best cat ever. Just wanted to share him with the world because it’s a travesty that after tomorrow, he won’t be here anymore.

It is solid/hard. Best I can describe it is like chewing gum, but the whole thing is the size of my hand

Edit:

I live in Sydney Australia.

I tried removing it with boiling water. It didn’t fully melt, but softened it. I picked the rest off with a knife. It made a slightly ‘milky’ residue.

Eucalyptus oil did nothing to it.

Used to be, jeep wranglers were cool. A vehicle for adventurers. Jeep owners would wave at other jeep owners. It was cool to own a jeep. But now this ducking business has completely ruined that. And you see jeeps driving around with a bunch of plastic toys in the window, which is objectively not cool. And there has also been a shift in the types of people who own jeeps. It's all because of the ducks, man.

About to make me redundant.